RE: He wants my password

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: He wants my password

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: He wants my password

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: He wants my password - 5/14/2013 1:54:57 PM

Posts: 10540
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline

I see that as requiring that you first be intimate and very close. You've met, become D/s, even M/s and then it involves passwords and other personal info. NOT before, 'dom thing' or not. I have had some volunteer it for help on writing one or updating and I suggest they even change it later if they want.

Personally as a dominant man and surely as a master...why do I need any password ? We are now beyond the Internet.

Seems a trivial piece of info. for a real dominant man let alone a so-called master. To me, it is almost a sign of weakness simply because nobody needs your password.

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: He wants my password - 5/14/2013 2:21:00 PM

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline

~FRing it~

It most certainly is not a "Dom thing"

I've never once felt the need to have someone else's password. And if someone is asking this of you under the pretence that they have been hurt by partners in the past, that (to me) is a huge red flag that he might not be as over it as he thinks he is. If it were me in your situation, Id feel like I was being treated as untrustworthy until proven otherwise. Not a great foundation for a healthy relationship if you want my honest opinion.

Besides...what kind of idiot would give someone else their password AND then proceed to cheat on that someone using the account that person now has access to?

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 5/14/2013 2:23:26 PM >

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: He wants my password - 5/14/2013 2:48:58 PM

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

THIS:

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

The actual effects would be:

1. He would be able to monitor all your conversations, and
2. He would have the power to mess up your account and relationships with your friends.

Actually, I'm more concerned about his flip explanation "It's a Dom thing" than the request itself. He's treating your trust without any respect.

Great call, Steven.

_____________________________

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: He wants my password - 5/14/2013 6:05:09 PM

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

Absolutely not. It's one thing if you are owned by him, but you "met" him in January. Do you live with him?
We can check the girls account to on any site at any time. They have never given us reason to. The point is, we can when needed. They live here and are owned. Someone I have been talking to that I don't own yet...I wouldn't ask for their password.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

RE: He wants my password - 5/14/2013 7:07:49 PM

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

How do all y'all feel about a feature that would give subs the ability to give out a limited "view activity only" access to their profile to whomever they want, without the person given access that way having the ability to change stuff like passwords, or contact people from the profile.

That way there would be a fairly risk free way for a dominant to monitor their submissive's profile, with the submissive being able to remain in complete control of when to withdraw the permission.

For those dominants who ask for passwords, would such limited access be sufficient for you, or would you still demand access to the main profile features?

I'm thinking for those who enjoy total control, this wouldn't interest them. They would want the *ability* to do anything, and would want their slaves to know they have it.

The Mister probably would have been fine with that, though, although he's been known to reply to my Cmail on my behalf, and block user.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

RE: He wants my password - 5/14/2013 7:10:44 PM

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

heh....as everyone here knows, Master goes into my CM account on a regular basis (usually because he just can't be bothered to log into his own on my computer

) and emails strange people and have fun on here with my screenname. In our relationship, he does what he wants, when he wants, how he wants. That includes any accounts of whatever type they are.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to NuevaVida)

RE: He wants my password - 5/14/2013 7:13:40 PM

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity

Besides...what kind of idiot would give someone else their password AND then proceed to cheat on that someone using the account that person now has access to?

I love this! Because obviously, since you hand over your password, you would never create a new profile to talk to people without him knowing, right? Personally, because it is such a trust issue for me (someone feeling the need to check up on me), I would probably start another account and let all my friends know just to fuck with his head.

Nah, I would just tell him to fuck off.

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)

RE: He wants my password - 5/15/2013 4:47:46 AM

Posts: 23
Joined: 8/28/2012
Status: offline

Trust your gut on this, and do not let him have them... If you feel comfortable than share with you right there watching. But if he is having trust issues this early on, take a long hard look. Good luck

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: He wants my password - 5/15/2013 6:35:29 AM

Posts: 7
Joined: 5/14/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: absolutchocolat

It's an insecurity thing.

Truth

(in reply to absolutchocolat)

RE: He wants my password - 5/18/2013 6:52:37 AM

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Good heavens. You don't even know each other yet - as in you've been together for only a dozen weeks, and he wants your passwords AND another chick? In my world, we call that bullshit. Feel free to use the word.

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 5/18/2013 6:53:39 AM >

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Ropessum)

RE: He wants my password - 5/18/2013 7:25:21 AM

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders
I'm pretty sure that we know each other's passwords for everything, but it's always come up in the context of 'hey, would you just log into my emails and check the address of this place for me?' rather than 'I have the right to look through your stuff'.

This would be true of Carol and I also. I'm the geek in the house so of course i know all her passwords. I created a lot of them. But I can't recall ever feeling the need to use them for any particular reason other than pragmatic ones. While I acknowledge that I have the right to them and to do with them as I will (as Carol's owner), that right is a distant theoretical thing with no real impact on our lives.

quote:

Even though there is nothing on my phone, emails, cm account or anything else that I wouldn't willingly share with me, I'd still be horrified if I thought he was reading my messages just for the sake of it or to check up on me.

Carol and I had an interesting discussion with another TPE couple over beers a few months back. The question was, "How does the slave feel if the master puts video cameras all over the house to spy on her? What if he does it covertly?

I was intrigued at how both slaves (and both very, very different) parsed it exactly the same way. If he's doing it because he doesn't trust me then the relationship is over. If he's doing it for any other reason then that's his right and I'm totally cool with it. Given how vastly different the relationships and people involved were I was fascinated at how both made the same fine distinction about rights & motives.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

RE: He wants my password - 5/18/2013 8:57:45 AM

Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WithATwwist

I met a dom in jan, so far so good. We are both on another kinky website, (FL) so he can see all my pics, comments, etc.
He now wants my password. Why and should I give it to him? He says it's a dom thing.

He has a lot to learn about "dom" things.

(in reply to WithATwwist)

RE: He wants my password - 5/19/2013 4:18:11 AM

Posts: 82
Joined: 4/25/2013
Status: offline

I share the same view as most have allready expressed here in this thread. It's more of a trust issue than anything else. Obviously he hasn't earned that level of trust and shouldn't have your passwords. Personally I've had the pwds to my subs but more often than not I end up forgetting all about it since I never used them. Lol

Like so many before me has allready told you, don't do it. When the time is right you'll know it and don't need to ask the question.

(in reply to Musicmystery)

RE: He wants my password - 5/19/2013 6:29:56 AM

Kana

Posts: 6674
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

heh....as everyone here knows, Master goes into my CM account on a regular basis (usually because he just can't be bothered to log into his own on my computer ) and emails strange people and have fun on here with my screenname. In our relationship, he does what he wants, when he wants, how he wants. That includes any accounts of whatever type they are.

Let it be said that he never asked for her password but rather, that she willingly, voluntarily and of her own initiative and volition (note I say nothing of sound mind and body), gave him said password w/o him mentioning the concept once.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: He wants my password - 5/19/2013 2:44:41 PM

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I just felt it was important for you to have them. To me when you are in a strong relationship you share everything. It's just easier that way.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Kana)

RE: He wants my password - 5/19/2013 5:04:52 PM

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I just felt it was important for you to have them. To me when you are in a strong relationship you share everything. It's just easier that way.

I did the same with the Mister. He never mentioned them; but I knew it would add to his comfort level in my trust for him if I did. However, he specifically rejected my personal mail password. He said he wanted me to have a place to talk openly with friends, where both my friends and I would know he would not be looking in. He felt it was important.

There have been some occasions when he's been on my laptop and I was grumbling about an issue with some bill. He has pulled up my account, I call out my password to him, and he goes in and fixes it. So it's kind of a benefit.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: He wants my password - 5/19/2013 6:17:49 PM

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Exactly.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to NuevaVida)

RE: He wants my password - 5/20/2013 9:17:58 AM

Posts: 135
Joined: 2/25/2013
Status: offline

Prior to my relationship with Foxy, giving my passwords to someone else was kind of a huge unspoken limit for me. Was not gonna happen. I don't even remember at what point I gave her my passwords though. Our relationship has evolved in such a strange way to begin with ... But since we live together and she basically handles all the finances anyway, it just seemed natural to give her access to stuffs.

I can't say I would be comfortable doing that with someone I'd only been involved with online and/or for a very brief period of time. Foxy and I have known each other for 3 years and she has literally saved my life in the past. Once you've been through something like that, sharing a password doesn't seem like a very big deal at all.

Demanding passwords is def. *not* a "dom thing" in my experience, though it does smack of potential insecurity issues.

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: He wants my password - 5/20/2013 9:39:01 AM

p1953

Posts: 1
Joined: 2/29/2012
Status: offline

Let me start off by saying that I've been a dom for 30 years. With that being said, asking for personal information is not eat dom thing. I have never asked for any personal information from my subs. Keep your private information private and proceed with caution.

(in reply to WithATwwist)

RE: He wants my password - 5/20/2013 9:35:56 PM

Posts: 8
Joined: 5/19/2013
Status: offline

I agree with this, no Dom I know has ever asked me for my passwords. I have given some freely before but to want them this quickly just screams insecure busybody to me, not a Dom who is ready to have a submissive.

(in reply to p1953)

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: He wants my password

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.446