quote:

ORIGINAL: Hollyucinogen

I apologize in advance for the double-post - I originally posted this in the wrong section ('Ask a Mistress'), and I can't figure out how to delete it.

I'm not sure if anybody cares about this sort of thing, but I made a new blog on Tumblr called 'Findom Problems' - basically, each photo depicts a problem that FinDommes (and Dommes in general) experience during the course of their normal D/s day. It's meant to be funny and relatable to Dommes everywhere, but it's also meant as a way for us be able to air our grievances, support one another, and offer advice. I would really love it if, for those of you who run Tumblr blogs as well, you would consider making some submissions to the page, so that I can represent a wider range of experiences; at this point, the only point of view being expressed is my own. Here's the link:

http://findomproblems.tumblr.com/

Thank you!

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No one else is jaded? But, I gotta tell you, if a man demanded I tribute him to prove I am serious... I do believe I would be laughing into the next month, or two. And I only see this from findommes. There is a certain amount of exploitation that goes with the territory.

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Let me ask you this. What should a male sub do if he isnt satisfied with the performance of the domme he tributed too? No one seems to talk about that aspect. I have also seen women say on their profiles about tributing just to see them on cam. Really? That always makes me giggle.

I also hear stories of male subs getting ripped off as well. They tribute, and the domme never shows up again. At least not under the nic the tributing sub knows.

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Dont you think getting to know someone better would seed out just as many time wasters? if all a man is seeking is sexual relief.. and a findomme wants to talk about life in general to get to know the sub, how long is he gonna stick around?

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And this is something I have huge issues with. So a male sub has to pay a female domme to spend time to get to know each other. Which tells me one of two things.... either its all about the sex and the male sub simply wants to get off and doesnt care who its with...or the it IS all about the money for the findomme and she could care less about the "relationship" aspect of domination.

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But what you're saying strikes at the heart of financial domination. This is what you consider illegitimate about it. You're suggesting that the money aspect would negate any pretense of intimacy. But not necessarily.

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For example, when I used to attend munches, often people would look askance when I told them that I was once a FinSub. "What?!?!?!? that's so fake!!!!"

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But...really? Giving someone much of your income for a substantial period of time...I'm not sure how much more "real" domination could get?

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To me, it's certainly more "real" than knife play or rope play, for example, but different strokes for different folks. All I know is that the domination I received was real, and often there was intimacy that came with it (and sometimes there wasn't, just like any other form of power exchange).

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With that all said, I(just saying me personally) need to accept other people's lifestyle and kinks,even if it's not something I am into. As long as nothing illegal is being done and it doesn't affect me personally,then I see nothing wrong with it.If I want other people in society to accept me for who I am, then I need to learn to be more tolerate of other people's kink.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hollyucinogen

I apologize in advance for the double-post - I originally posted this in the wrong section ('Ask a Mistress'), and I can't figure out how to delete it.

I'm not sure if anybody cares about this sort of thing, but I made a new blog on Tumblr called 'Findom Problems' - basically, each photo depicts a problem that FinDommes (and Dommes in general) experience during the course of their normal D/s day. It's meant to be funny and relatable to Dommes everywhere, but it's also meant as a way for us be able to air our grievances, support one another, and offer advice. I would really love it if, for those of you who run Tumblr blogs as well, you would consider making some submissions to the page, so that I can represent a wider range of experiences; at this point, the only point of view being expressed is my own. Here's the link:

http://findomproblems.tumblr.com/

Thank you!

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ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hollyucinogen

I apologize in advance for the double-post - I originally posted this in the wrong section ('Ask a Mistress'), and I can't figure out how to delete it.

I'm not sure if anybody cares about this sort of thing, but I made a new blog on Tumblr called 'Findom Problems' - basically, each photo depicts a problem that FinDommes (and Dommes in general) experience during the course of their normal D/s day. It's meant to be funny and relatable to Dommes everywhere, but it's also meant as a way for us be able to air our grievances, support one another, and offer advice. I would really love it if, for those of you who run Tumblr blogs as well, you would consider making some submissions to the page, so that I can represent a wider range of experiences; at this point, the only point of view being expressed is my own. Here's the link:

http://findomproblems.tumblr.com/

Thank you!

OK, well since the blog is the topic brought up for discussion, I'm going to discuss that and not the legitimacy of findommes or whether or not this is advertising.

I have to say... I didn't really like it. There just didn't seem to be much to it. The complaints are all the same ones I have heard many times before, and they weren't phrased in a particularly original or witty way. I didn't feel that it provoked any reaction in me - it didn't make me laugh, or think, or sympathise. And the background images you've used are all very generic, and don't add at all to the text.

I think for something like this to work, you have to find a fresh angle to come from. The reason that a lot of comedians are successful is because they take things we are all familiar with and make us look at them in a surprising or novel way. They point out the absurdities of life and human interaction in such a way that makes the audience say 'that's true! I never thought of it that way!' It needs to be more than a list of gripes if you want people to laugh. In this medium you can use pictures as well as words, and the interaction between the image and the text can also say something; for example 'time wasters' is so bland and generic it is fairly meaningless, but could be amusing or thought provoking if paired skilfully with the right image. As a side note, some of your comments are actually two complaints rolled into one, which makes them lose the impact of the list you are going for.

As for support and advice - I haven't much experience with tumblr type blogs but they don't seem to foster much in the way of back-and-forth conversation as would be needed for a supportive atmosphere. I think some type of forum would work better for that but I might be missing some key feature of tumblr here.

I don't mean to sound negative, I am trying to provide you with specific areas which I think could use improvement and I'm going to assume you are open to constructive criticism since you posted it here. I am not against the idea in theory - I've read some really entertaining pro-domme blogs and I'm sure a fin-domme version could be just as good. What made those blogs successful though was that they said something more than just the same complaints which feature in every findomme profile on collar me. Some of them discussed the mechanics of negotiations, set ups and relationships (informative). Some of them had witty insights into the quirks of the business and their customers (amusing). Some of them had little insights into daily frustrations - along the lines of putting a lot of work into a specific scene or acquiring equipment for something that fell through (interesting). And perhaps most importantly, they let their human side show. Rather than just 'people waste my time' they included things about their own worries, concerns, difficulties, and enjoyments. They were relatable as people.

TL;DR -- your blog is just rehashing what we've heard a million times and needs to be more original in phrasing and content.


edit for typos

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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

You've already admitted in another thread you haven't got experience in this area. Yet you think you know enough to start a blog about it?

I wouldn't want to be your domme. However, you getting some experience before starting to tell others about the problems/solutions might be wise on your part.

Of course, since you think you have this whole thing figured out, you don't think you need some actual real time experience to tell others how it works.

Honestly, you need to get a grip on reality.

Oh, and I'm not the only one who has an issue with you and your blog being in this thread. I was just the first.

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ORIGINAL: Hollyucinogen

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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

You've already admitted in another thread you haven't got experience in this area. Yet you think you know enough to start a blog about it?

I wouldn't want to be your domme. However, you getting some experience before starting to tell others about the problems/solutions might be wise on your part.

Of course, since you think you have this whole thing figured out, you don't think you need some actual real time experience to tell others how it works.

Honestly, you need to get a grip on reality.

Oh, and I'm not the only one who has an issue with you and your blog being in this thread. I was just the first.

Aaaand there you go again trying to tell me what I am and am not based on your own prejudices and false information. You literally just said, "Stop trying to tell people how to do stuff BECUZ UR NOT EXPERIENCED!!! OH N I BET U DONT EVEN DO REALTIME EITHER!!!11". Please point out where I EVER said or implied that I was trying to direct people how to be the "proper" Domme, or where I said that I look down on realtime.

Start reading what I'm saying and stop reading what you WANT me to be saying to support your own ridiculous and offensive prejudices.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hollyucinogen
The reason I was posting it on here was because I was hoping to get a more complete picture of what it's like to be a Domme or FinDomme, as opposed to just my own experiences; hopefully what it offers will be richer over time because of other peoples' input.

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ORIGINAL: Charles6682

I am alittle curious to that question too Tazzy. What exactly is it that a Fin-Domme gets out of it,besides the money,of course? If Fin-Domme is just another word for "Pro-Domme",then why not just call yourselves that? Just know,I ask these questions in a compassionate way because I am curious what keeps this fetish going,besides the money.