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RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:20:20 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
When we met, you talked about why you hated these threads. I do think the OP has a legitmate "newbie-ish" question, and it was the first one I thought about when I joined CM too. I got reamed for posting about it back then, as well.

I hate them because they never go anywhere productive- it always turns into a "Fat women unite!" and "Love people for their inside" kumbaya/bash anyone who dares mention that fat isn't positive fest.

Making observations about fat people is a sensitive area for sure. But there's no reason it should turn into the defensive backlash that it always seems to. Yes, fat people rock like anyone else. Yes, lots of people love lots of fat people. No arguments there.

I'm a fat chick. I'm REALLY looking forward to moving into a place with a great gym and 8 pools and two men who have been ordered to keep me in line on my diet and exercise and want to lose weight, for my health, my self esteem and so I can fit back into all my awesome size 14 clothes that I don't fit into right now because I've gained weight over the last year.

I understand the good and the bad bout being fat. I can discuss the issues about fatness and my own observations about fat people without turning it into a personal emotional defensive posture. Most people don't seem to be able to do that.

quote:

All that said, I think you've given a great response here. You acknowledge the facts, you inject a little humor into a sensitive topic area, and you give a reasonable and maybe correct explanation for the phenomenom.

Glad you got something out of it.

See - I don't get that.

People are happy being overweight - good for them - but why get all hippy and loveydovey over it?

What is so wrong with wanting to improve oneself?

I am technically BBW. I am happy with being me - but why should I not want to improve on it? Why do people get all up in arms at the slightest suggestion that weight can be improved? That figures can be moulded? We use bondage, we use corsets, and bindings and costumes. People alter there looks all the time to improve and make themselves more attractive to someone - even themselves.

Why are people so damn defensive at such a simple question that the OP makes? Its not a troll question IMO... its an honest observation. Why deny something that is obviously noticable?

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:22:37 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

OH and can I add... why are these threads always directed at the overwaight women... has no one noticed there are just as many overwaight men around???

Because I doubt as many over-wieght men would reply to it.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

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(in reply to enigmabrat)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:22:37 AM

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Did I come into this to late to fuck some fat girls? Dammit.............

(But really, who cares? People is People, you don't like 'em, that's fine, you like 'em that's fine.........it takes all kinds and sizes and shapes and intelliences and sexes to make up the world.)

That is one persons take. This is your take. (think Beetlejuice, here.........)

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(in reply to enigmabrat)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:25:55 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

Why are people so damn defensive at such a simple question that the OP makes? Its not a troll question IMO... its an honest observation. Why deny something that is obviously noticable?

Thanks dark....I don't know why. It seems every time one of these threads comes up that people have to take it, personalize it and start defending their right to be fat or be thin or like fat or like thin or diet or not diet or or or or.......

It's just an observation....and an accurate one at that....not a personal slam.

Did anyone ever notice that there seem to be more purebred dogs at dog shows than there seems to be in the general dog population?

_____________________________

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~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

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"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to darkinshadows)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:26:03 AM

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I was watching the news one day, and there was a report about overweight people. It said they don't look at themselves as overweight. I agree with you, dark. I used to get upset (in high school) when my friends would comment on my weight. And now i realize how incredibly stupid that is.

It's obvious i'm a BBW, so why should i get so pissed off if someone comments on it.

Why should anyone get so pissed off when it's so obvious.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:27:19 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

OH and can I add... why are these threads always directed at the overwaight women... has no one noticed there are just as many overwaight men around???

Because I doubt as many over-wieght men would reply to it.

heh your probubly right... but that doesnt make it any less anoying that these are always directed at the fems!!!

_____________________________

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(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:27:23 AM

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From: UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

OH and can I add... why are these threads always directed at the overwaight women... has no one noticed there are just as many overwaight men around???

Because I doubt as many over-wieght men would reply to it.

I believe that is an astute observation Mr D. But why is that do you think?

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:27:44 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44
Because I doubt as many over-wieght men would reply to it.

Oh no....we're not going to get into some twisted definition of what is feminine vs. masculine are we??????? LMAO

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:29:52 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

Why are people so damn defensive at such a simple question that the OP makes? Its not a troll question IMO... its an honest observation. Why deny something that is obviously noticable?

Thanks dark....I don't know why. It seems every time one of these threads comes up that people have to take it, personalize it and start defending their right to be fat or be thin or like fat or like thin or diet or not diet or or or or.......

It's just an observation....and an accurate one at that....not a personal slam.

Did anyone ever notice that there seem to be more purebred dogs at dog shows than there seems to be in the general dog population?

LOL cute!!!

and its not that he made an observation... its that people over and over again seem to need to make THIS same observation over and over and over again... its like beating a dead horse... Yes its an observation but is it such an importent one that a thread needs to be started about it AGAIN??

And like so many have said befor beeing that he did bring his observation to open forum he left him self open to people saying what they feel about his statment if he doesnt like it or anyone els doesnt like it they needent post here!

< Message edited by enigmabrat -- 6/27/2006 9:35:24 AM >

_____________________________

Leather strap $85.00 on Master card
Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
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a Master that can use them all Priceless

(in reply to mistoferin)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:30:08 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

Why are people so damn defensive at such a simple question that the OP makes? Its not a troll question IMO... its an honest observation. Why deny something that is obviously noticable?

Thanks dark....I don't know why. It seems every time one of these threads comes up that people have to take it, personalize it and start defending their right to be fat or be thin or like fat or like thin or diet or not diet or or or or.......

It's just an observation....and an accurate one at that....not a personal slam.

Did anyone ever notice that there seem to be more purebred dogs at dog shows than there seems to be in the general dog population?

Hmmmmmmmmm.....

Very well put

(in reply to mistoferin)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:32:17 AM

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Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline

'cause that's what guys see on the S&M videos and MTV, and that's what they think they're going to see at Lifestyle parties and at online sites, and don't get that it's all just real people.

quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

OH and can I add... why are these threads always directed at the overwaight women... has no one noticed there are just as many overwaight men around???

_____________________________

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(in reply to enigmabrat)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:37:53 AM

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Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

OH and can I add... why are these threads always directed at the overweight women... has no one noticed there are just as many overweight men around???

And I repeat...

I also think that big handsome men are hot. Daddy is a big guy, 6'2", huge arms, barrel chested, used to play college football, *swoons*... He just flips my pancakes...

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(in reply to enigmabrat)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:40:20 AM

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Joined: 10/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

[and its not that he made an observation... its that people over and over again seem to need to make THIS same observation over and over and over again... its like beating a dead horse... Yes its an observation but is it such an importent one that a thread needs to be started about it AGAIN??

And like so many have said befor beeing that he did bring his observation to open forum he left him self open to people saying what they feel about his statment if he doesnt like it or anyone els doesnt like it they needent post here!

Well enigma....because just like you he's new. He likely hasn't seen all of the previous threads on this. He likely has questions just like you or anyone else who is new, and just because all of those questions have been answered before doesn't make it wrong for them to be asked again.

He didn't make a statement....he asked a question. This question:

quote:

Why does bdsm appear to attract far more than its' fair share of overweight women?

No judgements...no personal feelings on obesity or his preferences....just a question. Why is asking a question such a bad thing???

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to enigmabrat)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:42:05 AM

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Daddysredhead, i also like big men. I myself am 6 ft even, and love, absolutely love tall men. Though they're hard to find. Being tall was hellish during puberty since i was a foot taller than...well... everybody (except the teachers, of course)

But this isn't about my height, or anyone elses. The OP specified women, not men. So, there wasn't hardly any responses by big men.

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:42:44 AM

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I cant speak for anyone but myself, but my personal opinion is this: I am an overweight woman who is into BDSM. I didnt just suddenly become overweight, just like I didnt suddenly fall into this lifestyle. I believe that all of my adult life I felt like something was missing, something so important and sustaining to my spirit, and I couldnt figure out what it was, so I ate. Food made me happy. It also made me fat. Once I found the lifestyle 9 years ago, I realized what had been missing from my existence and stopped adding weight to my body. The lifestyle sustains me.
I freely admit I havent lost any weight either. Thats a whole other "im comfortable being me" post.

Respectfully,
~Thunder

(in reply to darkinshadows)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:42:59 AM

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But honestly how can someone think they can make a statement about something that is to many a personal and touchy subject and not expect some emotional replies???

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Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
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a Master that can use them all Priceless

(in reply to mistoferin)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:43:48 AM

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Okay
I had to get in here.
The first few posts were really reasonable.
And then it just seems to get more irate.
Understandibly so.
I just counted the people listed at the top who are reading this post ,twenty at least..
So we all know its a very heavy issue.(yukyuk)
Look.
If you are fat and you can find someone who digs on that then you are lucky.
Just like the thin lonely girls who get lucky.
There will always be people who for one reason or another feel the need to sort people out into little groups.
Be yourself
Be proud of what you are.
Lose weight Gain weight
Learn a new skill
Just LIVE YOUR LIFE..
Someday you will find someone walking the same path.
Word up,let them pass or leave them behind ..but dont stop walking.
Let everyone else examine the whys and wherefors..be too busy LIVING
just sayin'

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RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:44:54 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

OH and can I add... why are these threads always directed at the overweight women... has no one noticed there are just as many overweight men around???

And I repeat...

I also think that big handsome men are hot. Daddy is a big guy, 6'2", huge arms, barrel chested, used to play college football, *swoons*... He just flips my pancakes...

hehehe i like bigger men

_____________________________

Leather strap $85.00 on Master card
Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:47:42 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

But honestly how can someone think they can make a statement about something that is to many a personal and touchy subject and not expect some emotional replies???

Because honestly....he didn't make a statement of any kind....he simply asked a question. He didn't say "There are too many overweight women at bdsm events". He didn't say "I don't like overweight women". He didn't say "Women at bdsm events should all be forced to diet". Those would be statements. He simply asked a question. People allowed their own sensitivities to come into play. He is not responsible for that. His question was generic....and people chose to personalize it.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to enigmabrat)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 9:48:44 AM

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I'm new to CM, and i haven't seen anyone get reamed; until now. The fact that so many people took the OP to heart, and became defensive, offended, and started to damn him/her to hell, and on and on, is really disturbing to me.

Yes, the overweight issue is about as touchy as abortion, or gay marraige. This has been said before, and i'm going to keep saying it: It was a simple question that a newbie wanted to ask.

I read the question, and it made perfect sense to me. I didn't see any degrogatory comments, and i was about as far from being offended as you can get. And, shocker of shockers, i'm a BBW.

I'm still confused why people thought the OP was being mean, or negative, or whatever.

(in reply to enigmabrat)

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