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Why do these forums exist? - 7/8/2013 6:54:51 PM   
BrisbaneMaster73


Posts: 5
Joined: 1/29/2008
Status: offline 		As someone who's been coming to collarme for a few years I can't believe it's taken me this long to ask this question. But, since I'm home sick today and grumpy, I really have to ask... why does most of this message board exist?

I would never even come to the boards except for the scrolling spambox at the main collarme page. Each time I click on a post I think to myself "nah, surely it can't be as stupid as it looks" but the fact that I'm writing this tells you how often I'm wrong.

Not only is the scrolling spambox an annoying distraction but I wonder how much the little pseudo-telex-shit-spewer is costing collarme. Not only in terms of the space it's taking up that could be used for advertising, or in the amount of bandwidth and storage wasted on the roomful of monkeys, but also in terms of members lost due to the "holy shit, if the moronic shit on these boards is an accurate cross section of the average collarme member then I'm out of here" effect.

A cursory glance at the mainpage shows that more than half of the boards have nothing to do with bdsm. Breaking these gems down we have...

Introductions - Introduce yourself. If you already have a profile on collarme then why do you need to "introduce" yourself to "the board"? That's what your profile is for and, get this, when you browse profiles you're not looking at them from random countries on the 10000 to 1 shot that it might be someone you're interested in.

Introductions - Positive Experiences. So, let me get this straight, you've just met this wonderful person and now you want to tell everyone how wonderful they are so they can do their best to steal them away from you? Or is it only here so that guys can create fake profiles and make posts about how wonderful themselves were? Or is it because you're a budding Mills and Boon author who everyone tells to STFU whenever you try to invade their reality with your fantasy world? Whatever the reason, it's stupid at best, or fraudulent at worst. Ironically if "criticism of other users" was permitted it might actually be entertaining or informative. Knowing that DreamGurl69LOL is a balding serial killer might be useful information to some.

Casual Banter - All of it. The less said about this the better. Yet this is the section that seems to come up more often than not in the Dead Shit Scrolls. Everything in this section can be found elsewhere on the internet in about a trillion places. Why collarme thinks that anyone cares about the opinion of people without a clue, or a life, commenting on just about anything they're capable of vaguely understanding, and what is has to do with bdsm, is beyond me.

The rest of the categories seem to be, at least on the surface, possibly useful. At least they're related specifically to bdsm and/or server issues.

In short, surely the reason the forum exists is so one can post things related to bdsm without being ostracised like you would be on other forums. Why not keep it limited to that and dump the rest of the shit that just clogs it up and makes collarme look bad in the process? And, as an added bonus, whilst I'm against rules that tell other people how to live their lives, surely the removal of these sections of the forum would free the poor souls who waste their lives on it. Maybe, once it was gone, they'd have a moment of clarity and realise that it wasn't really that important after all.


PS. I'm aware of the irony of having to post this in the Casual Banter section. The fact that there isn't a "Server Discussion/Improvements/Whatever" forum merely helps proves my point.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Why do these forums exist? - 7/8/2013 6:57:32 PM   
Powergamz1


Posts: 1927
Joined: 9/3/2011
Status: offline 		'Free content providers', and 'driving traffic' are terms that put black ink in the correct column.

(in reply to BrisbaneMaster73)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Why do these forums exist? - 7/8/2013 7:05:36 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

In short, surely the reason the forum exists is so one can post things related to bdsm without being ostracised like you would be on other forums. Why not keep it limited to that and dump the rest of the shit that just clogs it up and makes collarme look bad in the process?


Because I am more than just my kink.

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RE: Why do these forums exist? - 7/8/2013 7:05:58 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I use them as a meeting spot for people who I think have sense, and learning.

_____________________________

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The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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RE: Why do these forums exist? - 7/8/2013 7:08:22 PM   
SubvsSlave


Posts: 201
Joined: 4/6/2011
Status: offline 		I enjoy coming here because, outside of my Master, this is the only place where I am able to share this part of me.

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Why do these forums exist? - 7/8/2013 7:09:51 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Because some of us are looking for more than just finding a hole to use, or someone to use a hole we have. Some of us actually enjoy talking with others on a myriad of subjects.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Why do these forums exist? - 7/8/2013 7:36:53 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		FR

Oh my. Whole lotta gripin' goin' on.

I don't know why CM's creators included the message boards, but I'm glad they did.

I've had interesting conversations on all manner of subjects, and some of those connections have led to real-life, flesh-and-blood friendships. The thread I created about my oncology odyssey has become a source of incredible support. (It's particularly handy when I need to vent about friends or family and seek a safe space for doing so.) Even the virtual friendships have been enriching. I have one CM buddy eager to send me some home remedies for dealing with chemo, and another--out of the blue--once volunteered to help me with a cash crunch that meant I couldn't refill a prescription. And when one member was pregnant on a shoestring, a bunch of us chipped in for a Baby Gap gift card that was much needed and deeply appreciated.

Casual Banter, which has emerged as my preferred playground, reflects the fact that three-dimensional beings have a lot more in their lives than just BDSM. Other posters and I enjoy catching up, sparring over issues of the day, goofing off, and so forth. If it's not your cup of tea, that's just fine. But you might bear in mind that you're not the only guest at the tea party.

The forums also offer a place of connection and conversation for folks who enjoy the company of other kinksters but aren't in the market for partners or playmates.

Reading folks' posts, particularly over time, offers another great benefit that a static profile can't provide: insight into their characters, brain wattage, and ability to play well with others. To take a strictly hypothetical example, a nice torso pic and the title of "Master" might catch my eye. So it's handy to have a way of discovering, without a fruitless exchange of messages, that they're accompanied by breathtaking petulance and a self-centeredness so deep that it drives one to demand that others revamp--or raze--their cyber village because it doesn't match his vision of what a BDSM site should be. Not that that would ever happen, of course.

So here we are, chatting about BDSM and, yes, casually bantering. You're welcome to join us or spurn us as you'd like. Either way, we'll live. You can even, if you prefer, rant about the site's failings, particularly if you don't care what first impression you make. Whatever you choose, enjoy!



_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to Powergamz1)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Why do these forums exist? - 7/8/2013 7:42:37 PM   
bamabbwsub


Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline 		Think of the forums as a social gathering place for people who just happen to enjoy BDSM. You have the same issues with people here that you do in the real world: smart people, dumb people, naive people, jerks, people who make you literally LOL...the works. Now imagine that each thread is a group of people who are standing around chatting about different things. You're walking around the room and hear someone bitching about politics. Not your thing? Then you don't stick around; you move on to the next group (thread) until you find a topic that suits you. There are plenty of threads that make me roll my eyes because of the topic and/or ensuing discussion. I just hit the little "X" on my browser window, and voila! The asinine thread disappears. Simple.



_____________________________

"Everyone is normal until you get to know them." - Dave Sim

I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Why do these forums exist? - 7/8/2013 8:02:09 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

As someone who's been coming to collarme for a few years I can't believe it's taken me this long to ask this question. But, since I'm home sick today and grumpy, I really have to ask... why does most of this message board exist?


Awww.. you.. grumpy???... never would have guessed.

quote:

I would never even come to the boards except for the scrolling spambox at the main collarme page. Each time I click on a post I think to myself "nah, surely it can't be as stupid as it looks" but the fact that I'm writing this tells you how often I'm wrong.


So you decided, in your infinite wisdom, to come to some place you consider stupid... to add to the stupidity.... and you question us



quote:

Not only is the scrolling spambox an annoying distraction but I wonder how much the little pseudo-telex-shit-spewer is costing collarme. Not only in terms of the space it's taking up that could be used for advertising, or in the amount of bandwidth and storage wasted on the roomful of monkeys, but also in terms of members lost due to the "holy shit, if the moronic shit on these boards is an accurate cross section of the average collarme member then I'm out of here" effect.


I always love it when someone who isnt a participant decides to attempt to belittle and berate those he wants so badly to emulate. Sorta like that "nose pressed to the window" kinda deal going on there, sport.

quote:

A cursory glance at the mainpage shows that more than half of the boards have nothing to do with bdsm. Breaking these gems down we have...


Might just actually be because... now... its true.. I could be wrong... but it might just be because people are actually more than their kink. They have more thoughts than just that throbbing you get between your legs.

quote:

The rest of the categories seem to be, at least on the surface, possibly useful. At least they're related specifically to bdsm and/or server issues.


I am so glad the rest of the site meets with your approval. I mean, really! Just who do the owners think they are?!?!?! Not even obtaining YOUR approval for something so important as what sections to put here!!!! The nerve! You should fire them!!! And Alpha as well!!!

~I want ring side seats to that one



_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to BrisbaneMaster73)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Why do these forums exist? - 7/8/2013 8:04:16 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		Have a Snicker's bar why don't you, might take the edge off the fact that you don't seem to have been laid recently.

Why even pretend to ask a question that you don't really care about the answer to? It's nice you had a chance to vent though and got all that squared away.

(in reply to BrisbaneMaster73)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Why do these forums exist? - 7/8/2013 8:06:15 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		It's simply a place to chat with friendly kinkpeople. Like an online munch.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Why do these forums exist? - 7/8/2013 8:10:53 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		~FRing it~

The absolute beauty of human life is the subject of free will. No one puts a gun to your head about coming here. It's a choice. I suppose it's also a choice to piss and moan like a whiner about that which offends your delicate sensibilities, but why make others suffer through the whining.

It's simple. Don't like sections of the forum? DON'T GO THERE. Or perhaps you should demand a full refund of all money you paid to be a member here. Didn't pay anything to join? Oh my, looks like you get to just deal with it

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Why do these forums exist? - 7/8/2013 8:13:06 PM   
goodgirlmary


Posts: 478
Joined: 6/14/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

It's simply a place to chat with friendly kinkpeople. Like an online munch.

This.


This is really a fun place, ya silly grumposaurus. I think a lot of people learn here,make new friends here, and blow off time and/or steam here. I am sure its here to incite loyalty or traffic, but I really don't care. It is awesome

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Why do these forums exist? - 7/8/2013 8:15:44 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		DCNovice said it best.

Don't come to a place you know nothing about and criticize. No one asked your opinion of these boards and no one cares.

We only care when someone comes here with a good attitude, or who askes a good question.

Your question is just petulant.

Interestingly enough, you can tell alot about someone by their posts and in your case, so much has been said.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Why do these forums exist? - 7/8/2013 8:42:36 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Why does PlentyOfFish have forum boards when most of the boards there are not about relationships?



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Why do these forums exist? - 7/8/2013 8:45:10 PM   
DomKen


Posts: 19457
Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		dcnovice said it very well but I'll add my 2 cents.

This is a community. We can be open about who we are in a way few of us can be in the rest of our lives. We don't need to talk about kink all the time but it is relief to know that if it comes up we won't be ostracized as we would be in most other places both on the web and in real life.

Tbh while I've met a number of women from the CM side none of that ever worked out. However even now when I'm no longer actively seeking a mate I still come here for the community.

And if the OP dislikes the forums so much there is nothing forcing him to read them.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Why do these forums exist? - 7/8/2013 8:53:11 PM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline 		Because this is the only place I can safely voice my opinion about various subjects and not have to worry about someone hunting me down and trying to beat me to death with a handfull of uncooked pasta

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to DomKen)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Why do these forums exist? - 7/8/2013 9:00:00 PM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BrisbaneMaster73

As someone who's been coming to collarme for a few years I can't believe it's taken me this long to ask this question. But, since I'm home sick today and grumpy, I really have to ask... why does most of this message board exist?



Well, one reason it exists is to give you a place to post a 32-line bitchfest when you're feeling sick and grumpy.

Other folks use it for other purposes.

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to BrisbaneMaster73)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Why do these forums exist? - 7/8/2013 9:11:33 PM   
BrisbaneMaster73


Posts: 5
Joined: 1/29/2008
Status: offline 		I'm sorry if I struck a raw nerve with so many of you with that post. Don't kill the messenger. The number of total posts of some of the responders is just staggering. In fact, there seems to be a direct relationship between the number of total posts someone has and their level of snarky misplaced anger.

Anyway, the gist I seem to be getting from you is that I'm a prick for thinking a bdsm site and its forums should be pretty much about bdsm interests and not politics or religion or the weather or whatever is popular this minute. Not sure how to respond to something so self-evident. It's like asking me to prove that 1 is greater than 0. If you need to argue that then just move onto the next post, you'll never get it.

A popular response was along the line of "don't like it, don't come here". I'm fine with that, just stop spamming the main server with the latest shit to come from here. I'm forced to read this garbage every time I logon. I don't have the choice not to. Surely even the dimmest of you understood that from my initial post.

There was also a lot about "because my kink isn't me" sort of replies. Now, knowing my audience, maybe I should have been clearer about this in my initial post. But that is *exactly* what I was saying about you. You have your kink, which is fine, enjoy it, whatever. But why do you have to come to a kink site to discuss the fucking weather? If I want to discuss the weather, or find information about it, or find an expert on it, or whatever, I'll goto a weather site, not a kink site. It is exactly the fact that your kink controls your life and the people you associate with that makes the place so shitty. The reason you come here and have a million posts is exactly because your kink is your life. To summarise, there are a gazillion places online where you can chat with better informed people about any topic you want to, why do it here if you are "more than your kink"?


< Message edited by BrisbaneMaster73 -- 7/8/2013 9:21:07 PM >

(in reply to DomMeinCT)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Why do these forums exist? - 7/8/2013 9:18:53 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		why do you think we only come here??? Are you with the NSA? Huh huh?

Are you spying on me???

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 20
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