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Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? - 7/23/2013 5:27:16 PM

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So I rarely post to this forum but I had a few personal thoughts that I wanted to express and get some feedback on...I am open to all comments and great conversation...Please leave ignorance and arrogance out of this...Thanks for reading in advance...

I am a lifestyle Domme who has recently reached out towards the FinDom community...I find that the FinDom community is more suitable for my needs and more so fits with what I enjoy...I personally have been a Dominant for many years but recently just decided to try the online aspect of the lifestyle...& FinDom just made it so much more enjoyable for ME...What Goddess doesn't enjoy being spoiled?...but I understand that there are scam artist who take advantage of people but what one indulges in is their business and if they choose to do very little homework on someone they plan on embarking on a journey such as a D/s relationship with seems like a personal silly mistake on their behalf...

From my personal experience I have come across some great people and have had very good feedback. So far it has been a really awesome experience but I have noticed that on this site in particular there are a great deal of FinDom haters...lol...Meaning they do NOT agree with the way I or others choose to live our lives and they feel the need to voice their opinion...Where I get confused is because all of these individuals have been subs...Contacting ME to be of service to ME but they only want to serve ME the way they want to lololololll when did this start happening...?

Ignorant as ever...how can you be of proper use to anyone with a closed mind and a big mouth? ... Also who applies for a job they do NOT want ? Anywho I have gotten very used to weeding through the B.S. and have learned that people will be people and to NOT take anything personal....

But the way I see it is Domination is Domination...A power Exchange is a Power Exchange...but that is the Power Exchange I enjoy most...and to ME as long as the Domme and sub have the proper agreement suitable to their liking the relationship can be very fulfilling...Many people have different fetishes, needs, wants, etc...I have learned that despite a particular group of individuals and/or any titles a D/s relationship is all about finding a great match where both parties get the most out of one another...

What are your thoughts on this topic...?

< Message edited by CoCoCapitalist -- 7/23/2013 5:28:22 PM >

RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? - 7/24/2013 10:44:05 AM

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Welcome to the boards!

We've had lengthy convos on this topic, including the 67 page Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s, and it seems there's a new thread on the subject every week, so you may not get the robust conversation you seek.

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RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? - 7/24/2013 12:25:55 PM

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canard levres

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RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? - 7/24/2013 12:36:49 PM

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I think it would be really cool if we could use the system to our advantage in some way for the same topic not to be repeated over, and over, and over. You know, maybe that angle about not cross posting topics or the forum guidelines that say this:

quote:

Overview of the forums - Here is what we are working towards with the forum sections. Please become familiar with our forum and try to place your post in the appropriate section. If you are uncertain where it belongs then please use your best judgment and pick a single forum to post in. Do not post the same or similar thing in every forum. If it does not belong there a moderator will move it. Please keep in mind that this is added work for the moderator so we ask that you please look over the other areas before posting.

or this

quote:

Duplicate and Repeat posts - Please do not make posts bringing peoples attention to another post in the same or a different area. If you have something to contribute to the topic then please post to the original topic. Please do not start a duplicate or similar thread if there is an active thread on the subject already or was fairly recently.

There's literally another post on financial domination five topics down from this one and another at the top of the board in the Ask A Mistress section. Isn't there a way we can use the forum guidelines about this subject to our advantage?

This is not a complaint, but it is a sincere question.

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RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? - 7/24/2013 12:48:26 PM

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HI CoCoCapitalist, like it's been mentioned, there are numerous threads on this topic, so it's obviously an emotive one! I have replied in several threads and will do the same here for you on my views on it.

I don't see a problem with it as no one is being forced into it. I don't profess to know what goes on in a good Fin Domme/sub relationship, but I imagine quite a lot of time has to be spent on the computer by the Domme and this is quite rightly chargeable. For a person who is far too shy or maybe can't get to see a Domme in person, then I'm sure a good Fin Domme could be a good solution. Personally, although it's not for me, if I ever did do this sort of thing, the Domme would also have to be mighty experienced (showing true commitment to the bdsm world) as being messaged 'get on your knees slave' or whatever, just isn't going to wash.

I'm in the UK and I estimate that of the thousands of fin dommes purporting to live here, maybe only 3% are real. The rest are made up from a small group of oldish blokes who have literally hundreds of accounts here and non scene women on the blag. Just my guess.

Please may I ask if you could tell me a bit about how a 'typical' Fin Domme arrangement works? I'm not interested in amounts but am interested how it happens. i.e. a typical pro domme session may run like this:

Contact Domme to see if you get on and then arrange session.
Arrive and discuss the session
Do the session
Pay the fees
Have a chat (maybe discuss the next session) and say goodbyes

;-)

(in reply to kalikshama)

RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? - 7/24/2013 1:16:19 PM

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Well like I said I am not here much so I haven't had time to dibble and dabble in the forum much but I do thank everyone for sharing and pointing me in the proper direction...Sorry If I irritated anyone with repetitive post but what started as a irritating personal problem to me became a legitimate question that I began to wonder about...Just thought I'ld ask...Once again thanks for the feedback...I'll be sure to search before I ask next time

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RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? - 7/24/2013 7:07:58 PM

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quote:

But the way I see it is Domination is Domination...A power Exchange is a Power Exchange...

Bullshit.

If you keep out of my face you might find my manners tolerable. If you don't, you won't

I doubt that needed to be explained.

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(in reply to CoCoCapitalist)

RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? - 7/24/2013 9:15:58 PM

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Since the beginning of time, every prostitute in the world has asked the same question.

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RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? - 7/24/2013 9:32:17 PM

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I would assume prostitutes ask "are you looking for a good time" or "suck or fuck?" (Saw that on a documentary on HBO)

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RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? - 7/24/2013 9:48:35 PM

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I had never thought about it until the previous posts.
The definition of prostitution is money for sex, sex for money.
Seems to me, if we "assume" FinDomming is "sexing", then it's no different than prostitution. That's not a value judgement. That's just logic.

So, the real question is whether FinDomming is sexing.

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RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? - 7/24/2013 9:51:58 PM

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I can answer that. Fin dom is not sexing. Well, not for me anyway.

Of course I would be the person to assume something like that.

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Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

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RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? - 7/25/2013 6:02:34 AM

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You get what you ask for. Your profile says you are looking for low life pigs. Why would you expect any better?

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(in reply to CoCoCapitalist)

RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? - 7/25/2013 6:15:25 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Galacia

I had never thought about it until the previous posts.
The definition of prostitution is money for sex, sex for money.
Seems to me, if we "assume" FinDomming is "sexing", then it's no different than prostitution. That's not a value judgement. That's just logic.

So, the real question is whether FinDomming is sexing.

Findomming is dominating someone with money thrown into the mix. There are many aspects of domination that don't involve sex at all. Now there are a lot of folks who seem to think that you can't have one without the other. And for them that might be true, but I have not found that to be the case with most people I meet.

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RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? - 7/25/2013 6:21:53 AM

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quote:

Seems to me, if we "assume" FinDomming is "sexing", then it's no different than prostitution. That's not a value judgement. That's just logic.

Maybe you need to look up the legal definitions of "prostitution"

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RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? - 7/25/2013 6:29:49 AM

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I have nothing against pro domming or fin domming, as long as it's consensual and one party isn't getting ripped off.

There are so many scammers on this site and others, that fin dom and pro dom are now dirty words. Too many take the money and run, with no intention or ability to actually dom someone.

And that's sad.

If you're going to be in this field, you have to realize you have a lot of competition to deal with and bad rep to overlook, not to mention 'subs' to weed through. It's part of the job, yes?

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RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? - 7/25/2013 6:44:29 AM

MAINEiacMISTRESS

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quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi
There are many aspects of domination that don't involve sex at all. Now there are a lot of folks who seem to think that you can't have one without the other.

I always feel sorry for those who think the two subjects (Domination and sex) are automatically related. What a limited life they lead.

I and My subs have very rewarding and fun real life D/s relationships, we are very close and never has sex been involved.

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RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? - 7/25/2013 9:21:45 AM

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i am the same too regarding sex and submission. They are quite separate things but they can be integrated.

< Message edited by jola37 -- 7/25/2013 9:22:19 AM >

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RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? - 7/25/2013 6:16:41 PM

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One thought I have is that the men who participate in it don't post about their experiences or how it makes them feel. Most of the posting is from women seeking to justify their business / interest in it.

Men who don't participate in it have hostile views. (These guys post a lot.)

Some might argue that BDSM borders on abuse. In the same vain financial domination might border on extortion, blackmail, and prostitution. It can't be fun to be associated with those practices. It makes me wonder how the participants set limits. I often wonder how a guy feels having to pay for female attention. I imagine a polarity there between excitement and self recriminations. Hence why we never see guys posting about their positive experiences here.

It's rare, too, to see participants merely describe a scene wherein we might get an idea of how much money is involved and what kind or reward is offered in return.

Under the umbrella of BDSM, I would put FIN DOM under the designations of humiliation and power exchange. In general, I don't think humiliation is a strong pillar for LTRs. I have never seen a description or evidence of a LTR in his area.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 7/25/2013 6:25:42 PM >

(in reply to CoCoCapitalist)

RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? - 7/25/2013 6:38:04 PM

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Submissive men have an incredibly difficult ability to have any understanding or empathy of any man's kinks other than their own. Femdoms see, witness, hear kinks of all levels because if they have not experienced it with their partners, trust me, some man has pushed it onto them and explained it in a million different ways trying to get them to try it.

As I posted in the other thread, some subs into humiliation really enjoy the fantasy of the unobtainable princess, beautiful girl (often younger) who he cannot afford, the woman who is showered with gifts and money from men who are more powerful and have more money than he does. It's similar to cuckolding. These men get off on profiles of money femdoms. They probably masturbate to them. They contact the money femdoms and when they are rejected, they get off even more.

Other subs see the findom profiles of these types and are angry, thinking these ladies are making a lot of money.

The women making these fake profiles are doing it because they see other profiles doing it and think this is a way to make money. The marketing strategy is to claim that OTHER men give them a TON of gifts and to make it sound extraordinary. The higher up on the pededstal, the better. These profiles are especially erotic to the men that get humiliated by them. When the men reach out to them in droves, the women feed right into their fantasies by listing how all the OTHER subs have NO problem providing the gifts and money and these men, also, can be rewarded (!!!!) with attention if they pay, also. The women do not realize these men do not want attention, they want....REJECTION!!!

When the men say they cannot pay..but maybe the women will have mercy on them.....the women give them exactly what they want. A harsh response. The cycle repeats, and the sub man gets exactly what he wants, a very, very degrading denial. Told he is a LOSER. Told he has wasted her precious time. Told he will never amount to anything. He probably has her beautiful photo on the screen and prints the emails and reads it and jerks off. I bet they save these emails and have a"best of" category.

What I don't understand is why subs NOT into this fetish get sucked into it and bother complaining about it. The women with the money/paypig fantasies are wasting their time; the men who enjoy financial submission are VERY selective and know how to shop for a good partner and don't fall for them. The subs that get off on rejection and driving this market and they are lapping up these highly creative profiles.

Remember: The subs that get off on "Princess" and "Money Goddess" fantasy get off on the unobtainable woman who enjoys financial pampering and gifts from other men and IGNORES him.

Akasha

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(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Financial Domination / What are your thoughts & Why ? - 7/25/2013 6:59:07 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi
There are many aspects of domination that don't involve sex at all.

I'd say there are many people here and to each his own.
For some, it's sex; for others, it's service.
For yet a few, it's a lifestyle.

Just like anything else, I guess.

< Message edited by Anatolium -- 7/25/2013 7:00:15 PM >

(in reply to thishereboi)

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