Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off?

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Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/2/2013 10:54:22 PM

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Men - dominants and subs (please identify) -

Is your attraction level (and feelings of dominant or submissive desire, moreso) impacted by a woman's use of foul language (in casual situations, pre-play, NOT while doing S&M).

Like a woman that casual says, "That fuckin' sucks," or "Those bitches...."

What is your first impression? For example, do submissive men find this kind of bitchy sounding woman to be potentially dominant when she's freely using unrefined language? Or does it seem she may be more sexually outgoing?

For dominant men, does it strike a chord that maybe she's a "dirty girl"?

Or taking all BDSM out of the equation, does a woman with a foul mouth turn you off? Oh - here is a good example. Like the way Deborah Morgan talks in Dexter. Like a foul mouthed woman who is totally integrating curse words into her language.

Akasha

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/2/2013 11:13:17 PM

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I don't like it much in all honesty, though context is everything. Much of the time it's just unnecessary imo. At the extreme emotional end sure swearing is aptly expressive, casual use no.

I've met the occasional person where every other word was virtually swearing, I always felt they were exceptionally angry people or very bitter (or indeed high as a kite). Whether it's true obviously I couldn't say, it is just the impression I get. I've also sometimes wondered if it's a form of armour to keep people at arm's length.

I certainly don't equate swearing and foul language with dominance or confidence, or anything to do with sexuality (though I do enjoy a few choice words during play :p)

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/2/2013 11:22:34 PM

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Although your question isn't directed towards me, a submissive female, I'll still put my two cents in.

Me, personally, am not offended by foul language. I believe no word is inherently bad. Still, I do believe there's a time and a place and many times unnecessary.

Just as too many flowery words annoy me, too many cuss words do as well. I suppose, just too many words in general.

I only typically use them in times of pain. Even then, I tend to stop myself (a habit when you're used to sensitive ears being around). If I stub my toe on a piece of furniture it really just turns out to "Fahhhh!"

With that said, I would be turned off if it had a strong presence in his dialogue. I'd start to believe his vocabulary was somewhat limited and would also lead me to believe he had little respect for me.

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 1:31:03 AM

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I use a lot of swear words in casual speech. It just feels natural to me and most of the time I don't even notice I'm doing it.

Because my Master is used to talking this way as well, he finds my use of swear words to be another note of compatibility between us. I wouldn't really say it's either a turn-on or a turn-off for him, though. The way I talked just made him feel that I was not uptight and was a fun person that he could get along with.

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 2:56:53 AM

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I don't like it in men or women.

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 3:08:47 AM

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Just the right amount and at the right times, it can indicate a sort of liberation. Too much and too often is a sure sign of a social insecurity...maybe more.

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 3:47:09 AM

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As a heating/gas engineer, some of the building sites I used go to in London, especially some of the East End ones left me shocked when I heard what came out of people.

"...'ere Terry you f****ng wan*er, luzz us the cun*ing 'ammer..." is about as mild as it got, but it ranged up to them tell each other "what happened last night when they went round to each others mother houses", i.e. I shagged your mum lastnight mindless banter. I hate these sites so much and luckily I don't ever have to go to these sites now thank heavens.

I have a friend and she swears lots but she knows how to swear and be funny, she's a proper life and soul of a party. She got on the microphone once at a big party (about 300 people) to tell the dj he was shit (playing for himself, not the crowd and getting off on his own tunes) ! The whole place fell about laughing as she was in fact, absolutely spot on hehe. She'd said what everyone had been thinking for the last 2 hours! So this swearing is just fine with me.

In bdsm though, I feel it would be a bit of a turn off as it can indicate a loss of control. By far the biggest turn on for me is just a raised eyebrow, suggesting something like "are you sure you want to test me?" But this is just my own tastes :-)

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 4:04:43 AM

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The question isn't directed at me but I'll answer anyway.

There is a time and place for everything and imo that includes language. I'm not offended but there certainly are those that are. I don't think it's "polite" to force what some may consider "foul language" on those that find it offensive when there are obviously other words that could be used.

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 4:11:40 AM

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Why is this question limited to women? It's better for males to use foul language, or somehow more appropriate?

I use foul language at times, and so does Himself. We are both adult enough to know when to use it and when not. I use more foul language than he, if Himself says 'fuck!' he's not saying it for emphasis (the way I might), he's pissed.

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 4:32:44 AM

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I really dislike it. In the bedroom, it can be a little hot. My sister cusses a lot, and I went through a phase of cussing. I will ask her when she comes over to tone it down. Its like finger nails on a chalkboard for me. I think people get so used to it they have no idea how offensive it is. To me its classless.

< Message edited by chatterbox24 -- 8/3/2013 4:33:41 AM >

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 5:27:50 AM

Kana

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I'm fucking pissed that filthy sluts flap fuckholes like cocksucking hoes

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 5:31:27 AM

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I have no problem with it. Language is language. It is being mean spirited, bullying, and hurtful that are turnoffs. Strong language is just a tool for communication... no different than clinical language, legalese, or idioms.

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 5:40:06 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

I'm fucking pissed that filthy sluts flap fuckholes like cocksucking hoes

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 5:51:06 AM

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Ya know, I cuss like a sailor at home. But on here or in public in front of others, I try not too.
It's weird bc when I do cuss here I feel like its unbecoming of me.
But fuck that!
Lol

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 6:28:55 AM

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Foul language in casual conversation neither perks my submissive ears nor suggests a woman is more receptive to sexuality. I barely register the occasional expletive but if someone is cursing like a sailor, then I begin to wonder if they are capable of expressing themselves with more precision.

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 6:33:35 AM

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I would like to add......

When I cussed, I meant it as a power word, to put emphasize on what I was saying. I actually found it diminished the power of my words to others I wanted to connect with, because it was only the cussing they were hearing.

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 6:48:00 AM

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I grew up in a household where the word "fuck" was an adjective. My dad was in the Navy and my mom was a cocktail waitress, so I had two great role models. That being said, there are definite limits on its usage in the world and by whom. While it can be hot in the bedroom and acceptable in stressful situations elsewhere, I've noticed that if it's overused by a woman it appears as if she's compensating for something and not attractive at all. The key word is "overuse". And it does apply equally across genders to me.

Over the years I've moderated my vocabulary because in sales, you can't annoy the customer. In the back office, we cuss like sailors-out in front, we're churchmen. More than once, with my GF, I've had to check her because she sometimes forgets when she's in public. She doesn't like it, but she forgets that if she pisses off the wrong people, I'm the one who has to fix it, not her.

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 6:52:18 AM

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Call me old fashioned, but as a rule I don't care to hear women swearing. It is a huge turnoff and, to me, indicates a lack of class. My dad was a "southern gentleman" from Tennessee, and I was taught that women don't swear, and men don't swear around women. Like I said..."old fashioned". I do sometimes swear, especially when I get irritated about something, but I try to keep it to a minimum. I worked in construction, and had friends that included ex-cons and bikers, so swearing was something that did kind of rub off a bit onto me. However, I was also taught that if you have to swear to make a point, then you probably don't have much of a point to make.

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 7:30:05 AM

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There was a poster here for a while that used a lot of foul language. She had interesting things to say, but the way she said it made me skip her posts. Likewise people in real time that use a lot of bad language tend to lose my interest.
I perceive swearing as being a sign of frustration, and I don't care to be around people that have that little self control.

In a role playing scenario, it can be hot for someone to call me slut, but outside of that, complete turn off.

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 8:17:23 AM

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I am with Dark Steven...I do not care for foul language from ANYONE and, in fact, other than in sexual situations, I will not be involved with men who use "fuck", "shit" "ass" as "sentence enhancers". Of course, this probably explains why my 12 yr old thinks "sucks" & "crap" are words that gets your moth washed out with soap

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