NuevaVida
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quote:
ORIGINAL: JeffBC quote:
ORIGINAL: KnightofMists I would also state if you never consider or entertained the idea of poly or a poly sexual experience then yeah. You just very nature took to monogamy like breathing. But even a momentary consideration of poly and rejection of it is in of it self choosing to remain monogamist. That is making a choice. Yup. And quite literally not an hour ago I was pondering how cool it'd be to fly as I watched some crows. So I made a choice to be landbound, right? Much as I like you you are smoking crack here. Look, I ponder all sorts of things all the time. I even invested a full year's worth of effort re-wiring Carol to be poly-capable (and to some extent, myself also). Yet, oddly enough, I remain entirely uninterested in actually pursuing a poly relationship. The default stance is pretty strong and I have little incentive to change it. So the only way this statement becomes true is in the rather ridiculous expectation of near infinite self-control that I tend to have (and not always measure up to). But in a more pragmatic fashion it's just plain not so. Sorry Jeff I gotta jump in here and ask something because your reply confused me and I'm not sure if I'm misinterpreting. Are you saying monogamy is NOT a choice for you? Since you ponder flying and can't fly, you ponder poly but can't poly? Am I connecting those dots correctly? What I'm getting is, you don't believe people are wired a certain way, but you don't believe it's an active choice to be that way, yet you re-wired Carol to be that way even though she wasn't that way to begin with (but it wasn't a choice for her). Besides the fact that your comparison of pondering poly (something that is physically possible) to flying like a bird (something that is fantasy and magical), I'm really not understanding what you're saying. Maybe it's in your wording, maybe it's in my comprehension, but...I'm not getting it. quote:
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I know the am het and it will not change. OK, bit of an interesting tangent but for me I would NEVER say that. It goes right back to "I'm in control of me." That statement would strike right to the heart of everything I see as "dominant" (and no, I'm not saying you're not dom, I'm saying I'm an odd duck with how I see this whole "wired" business). And if you're in control of you, then what you do or don't do is your choice, right? Except monogamy is not your choice? But you're not "wired" for it, either? I get that you think monogamy is no more a choice than being gay. I don't get how you don't agree that people are "wired" a certain way. And if Carol's monogamistic (?is that a word?) nature was not a choice, then how is it she is no longer monogamistic? If she wasn't wired a certain way, how did you re-wire her? Seriously interested in what you're trying to describe here.
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