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Collarme users suggestions to end the Budget shutdown. - 10/10/2013 10:57:52 AM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

Alright, if you have a workable solution to the present problem in Congress, be it logical, illogical or down right cruel and unusual, please put it here.

My solution is simple:

1) Remove all the toilet paper from all the bathrooms in the capital.

2) Lock all the doors in the capital so that no member of congress can leave.

3) Feed them nothing but tex-mex and prune juice.

4) Inform them that they cannot get toilet paper or leave until they come up with a solution.

As for the President.

1) Lock him in a room with a toilet and feed him the same diet.

2) Pipe in a mixture of music by One Direction, Weird Al, and the chipmunks sing Britney spears.

3) inform him he will only be released when he signs the plan put forth by congress.

_____________________________

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Post #: 1

RE: Collarme users suggestions to end the Budget shutdown. - 10/10/2013 11:10:44 AM

RacerJim

Posts: 1583
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Since the usurper himself recently emphatically proclaimed "It's the law" my suggestion is that he agree to sign a CR which funds the entire government including "the law" as passed by both houses of Congress and he himself signed -- i.e., sans any delays or exceptions. Alternatively, he should agree to sign a CR which funds the entire government including "the law" with all the existing delays and exceptions plus, in the interest of fairness, a delay for the individual mandate and exceptions for conservative and Christian organizations.

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 2

RE: Collarme users suggestions to end the Budget shutdown. - 10/10/2013 11:11:44 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Where is that fairy tale from?

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Post #: 3

RE: Collarme users suggestions to end the Budget shutdown. - 10/10/2013 12:18:34 PM

Moonhead

Posts: 16520
Joined: 9/21/2009
Status: offline

Decimation.
Shoot 10% of the Republicans who are refusing to pass the budget through the head, then restage the vote.
Repeat until it works.

_____________________________

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(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 4

RE: Collarme users suggestions to end the Budget shutdown. - 10/10/2013 12:22:46 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Or do a Darth Vader on Boehner, and tell Eric Cantor, you are commander of the teabaggers now. Don't fail me.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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Post #: 5

RE: Collarme users suggestions to end the Budget shutdown. - 10/10/2013 10:12:53 PM

NoBimbosAllowed

Posts: 1450
Joined: 9/19/2013
Status: offline

cut all $$ going to any 'performance art' or 'conceptual art' from people who basically have started out by breaking the law ala taggers, like that talentless piece of shit "Banksy".

Do what Brits do and open up parliament Discussion Time and charge tickets and add a silent auction where the biggest bid gets to ask three questions of all the elected folk with the right to KEEP THEM ON TOPIC and toss them in gaol for a day if they fillerbuster.

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Post #: 6

RE: Collarme users suggestions to end the Budget shutdown. - 10/11/2013 3:24:29 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

IMO, this shutdown is the latest example of the evils of a two party system. A Republican knows that he need only make his Democratic opponent look bad, and there is no alternative. A Dem knows the same thing about the GOP opposition. So they will do all sorts of things that make themselves look bad, as long as the other side looks worse. Even worse, the gerrymandered districts are one-party places where politicians are responsive only to voices within their own party.

A viable third party would force candidates to run on their own merits, because if the Dems and GOP look ridiculous, the third party candidate will collect their votes.

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Post #: 7

RE: Collarme users suggestions to end the Budget shutdown. - 10/11/2013 3:31:19 AM

ShaharThorne

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline

Which is why I'm Green Party...an Independent or Liberation Party might straighten this mess out

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Post #: 8

RE: Collarme users suggestions to end the Budget shutdown. - 10/11/2013 7:40:24 AM

MasterCaneman

Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
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I agree. A viable third party would force a vote. And term limits.

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(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 9

RE: Collarme users suggestions to end the Budget shutdown. - 10/11/2013 7:44:22 AM

theshytype

Posts: 1600
Status: offline

I'd like the ability to vote members of congress off the island.
Or vote them to a deserted island.

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 10

RE: Collarme users suggestions to end the Budget shutdown. - 10/11/2013 8:19:44 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

Chuck Lorre's thought:
CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #425

Perhaps I've read too much science fiction, but I can't help thinking that the way out of this protracted battle over universal health care is a good ol' Edgar Allan Poe/Michael Crichton-style plague. Who's going to bicker over access to medical care or insurance deductibles if one wet cough from a busboy kills all the rack o' lamb-eating small government advocates in the restaurant? Who's going to fight against pre-existing condition coverage when it becomes frighteningly clear that we are all, rich and poor, smart and stupid, cute and inbred, swimming in the exact same bacterial soup? I'm betting no one. Because when that day happens, helping a sick person get well will not be an act of mercy or generosity. It will be the very definition of selfishness. And if history has taught us anything, selfishness rocks the casbah. Of course, there is plenty of sci-fi literature that takes this story down an even darker path. It involves everyone with a wet cough getting rounded up at gunpoint and trucked into "rehabilitation camps" in North Dakota. A privileged young man, raised on rack o' lamb, sees their suffering and sacrifices himself in order to lead them to a free clinic in Canada. When things are looking particularly grim in their march out of viral bondage, a small government advocate smiles cruelly and says to the young man, "Where's your health insurance now, Moses?"

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Post #: 11

RE: Collarme users suggestions to end the Budget shutdown. - 10/11/2013 12:26:27 PM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

Plague? Yeah that would get both sides working together...

I have my biowar... biobenefits division working on a virus that causes all women to have nymphomaniac tendencies and find guys like me irresistible. That what you talking about?

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 12

RE: Collarme users suggestions to end the Budget shutdown. - 10/14/2013 11:19:23 AM

hlen5

Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moonhead

Decimation.
Shoot 10% of the Republicans who are refusing to pass the budget through the head, then restage the vote.
Repeat until it works.

You radical, you!! I like it!!

Extra points for correctly using decimation!!

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(in reply to Moonhead)

Post #: 13

RE: Collarme users suggestions to end the Budget shutdown. - 10/14/2013 11:23:44 AM

hlen5

Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

Chuck Lorre's thought:
CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #425

Perhaps I've read too much science fiction, but I can't help thinking that the way out of this protracted battle over universal health care is a good ol' Edgar Allan Poe/Michael Crichton-style plague. Who's going to bicker over access to medical care or insurance deductibles if one wet cough from a busboy kills all the rack o' lamb-eating small government advocates in the restaurant? Who's going to fight against pre-existing condition coverage when it becomes frighteningly clear that we are all, rich and poor, smart and stupid, cute and inbred, swimming in the exact same bacterial soup? I'm betting no one. Because when that day happens, helping a sick person get well will not be an act of mercy or generosity. It will be the very definition of selfishness. And if history has taught us anything, selfishness rocks the casbah. Of course, there is plenty of sci-fi literature that takes this story down an even darker path. It involves everyone with a wet cough getting rounded up at gunpoint and trucked into "rehabilitation camps" in North Dakota. A privileged young man, raised on rack o' lamb, sees their suffering and sacrifices himself in order to lead them to a free clinic in Canada. When things are looking particularly grim in their march out of viral bondage, a small government advocate smiles cruelly and says to the young man, "Where's your health insurance now, Moses?"

Aka "the Stephen King Superflu Solution (The Stand) ".

_____________________________

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(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 14

RE: Collarme users suggestions to end the Budget shutdown. - 10/14/2013 11:34:36 AM

eulero83

Posts: 1470
Joined: 11/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

Alright, if you have a workable solution to the present problem in Congress, be it logical, illogical or down right cruel and unusual, please put it here.

My solution is simple:

1) Remove all the toilet paper from all the bathrooms in the capital.

2) Lock all the doors in the capital so that no member of congress can leave.

3) Feed them nothing but tex-mex and prune juice.

4) Inform them that they cannot get toilet paper or leave until they come up with a solution.

As for the President.

1) Lock him in a room with a toilet and feed him the same diet.

2) Pipe in a mixture of music by One Direction, Weird Al, and the chipmunks sing Britney spears.

3) inform him he will only be released when he signs the plan put forth by congress.

I think that option was used during the Council of Trent with good resoults, but I have no source to cite now.

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 15

RE: Collarme users suggestions to end the Budget shutdown. - 10/14/2013 11:56:14 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

I think a kindergarten class should be randomly selected to take over the decision making. Everyone is behaving like children anyway.

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Post #: 16

RE: Collarme users suggestions to end the Budget shutdown. - 10/14/2013 1:22:04 PM

hlen5

Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

........2) Lock all the doors in the capital so that no member of congress can leave.
spears.

......Give them a 3 day deadline and threaten to replay the War of 1812.

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(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 17

RE: Collarme users suggestions to end the Budget shutdown. - 10/14/2013 1:26:29 PM

slavekate80

Posts: 362
Joined: 7/4/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

I think a kindergarten class should be randomly selected to take over the decision making. Everyone is behaving like children anyway.

Or we could make a rule that if they can't come to a decision on a proposed budget within 7 days, a team of three Magic 8 Balls will decide whether or not it passes. Majority rules, "cannot predict now" counts as an abstention and must be re-shaken until it produces a yes or no.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Post #: 18

RE: Collarme users suggestions to end the Budget shutdown. - 10/14/2013 2:40:30 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moonhead
Decimation.
Shoot 10% of the Republicans who are refusing to pass the budget through the head, then restage the vote.
Repeat until it works.

Black out the cameras, bolt the doors and arm the democrats.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Moonhead)

Post #: 19

RE: Collarme users suggestions to end the Budget shutdown. - 10/14/2013 2:43:26 PM

MasterCaneman

Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline

I have a solution, but I can't post it. I'd get a knock on the door from some alphabet agency for sure. And probably a gold letter to boot.

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 20

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