leonine
Posts: 409
Joined: 11/3/2009
From: [email protected]
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ORIGINAL: egern
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ORIGINAL: eulero83
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ORIGINAL: kevin32
I find it funny that a question I asked about someone else's experience would be turned around to imply something was wrong with me.
Yes, I'm new to BDSM and inquisitive about this world. But any question I ask does not imply that I want to partake in its nature. I just like to know about different experiences from others who've been there, and what's it like from their perspective. I do appreciate those who were forthcoming with a response.
mostly I was kidding you, there can be submissive that maybe like the idea of the person they fancy to dominate them without asking, but when you used the words "against your will" in a sexual scenario then the only response you can have from real people is "that's called rape", becuse it is. Than in general BDSMers like to talk and discuss, some also signing contracts so connect the odds.
I think we are walking a tight line between fantasy and reality here, political correctness not withstanding.
Inisisting on the primary importance of consent in BDSM is not political correctness. It's the difference between a paintball game and a school shooting.quote:
Is 'dominate without asking' force against your will? Normally, yes, by definition.
When I've been in a long lasting relationship with a sub or slave, there have been times when I've felt justified in taking control when she was protesting that she didn't want it here or now or whatever I was after, and forcing her to accept my will and submit with a fight and come to enjoy it.
To date, it's always worked out well. But that's because in a situation like that her consent is already implied, and I'm just working over a short term hitch. If I were to do the same thing with a stranger, I'd probably end up in jail, and rightly so.
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Is going over the limits in a play going against your will?
Again, there've been times when I've felt that the consent to do that, to push through a limit in the face of the sub's protests and resistance, was implicit in our relationship. But again, only with someone I knew well and who trusted me deeply.
I did it once absent such intimacy and consent, when I was swept away by a super-hot scene with a casual play partner, and my only excuse is that I was listening for a safeword and didn't hear one: she herself was so caught up in the scene that she forgot she had a safeword. But she had told me her limits, and I did break them without consent, and I was wrong.
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I think the fantasy is great and many people might want to get as close to it as possible - but by that very nature it is not really against their will.
To my knowledge some have enacted fantasies for others that concerned 'rape' or 'attack' or 'taken prisoner' at unexpected times, but again, while it came unexpected and with unknown people and force, it was not against people's will but something wanted.
While it is of paramount importance to distinguish between fantasy and reality, it must also be possible to discuss the fantasy.
Absolutely, and I love to discuss the fantasy till the slaves come home, not to mention play at it (Want to be kidnapped and broken by force? I can arrange it.) and write books about it. But this started with a post that sounded, at best, vague about the dividing line. And that is a hot button for a lot of people here, as it should be.
_____________________________
Leo9
Gonna pack in my hand, pick up on a piece of land and build myself a cabin in the woods.
It's there I'm gonna stay, until there comes a day when this old world starts a-changing for the good.
- James Taylor
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RE: Were you ever "forced" to be a submissive... - 
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