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RE: Truth and lies - 1/4/2014 5:26:35 AM

SubSlutSlave11

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Thank You, Kalikshama! My fingers (and toes) are crossed. ;)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

I believed what he said, bc of he seemed like a stand-up guy, and that was where I went wrong. he said he was 'clear' but then tells me afterwards that he may have herpes!! WTF?!? (ha) I told him that piece of information would have been great to know up front. he is so blasé about it, that is what gets me.

I get tested every few years but I don't think I've ever seen herpes included on the panel. So his latest test may well have been "clear."

However, the way he mentioned it to you, sounds like he knew him having it was a possibility.

Fingers crossed that you didn't contract it.

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RE: Truth and lies - 1/4/2014 5:30:35 AM

SubSlutSlave11

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Little wonder- Again, don't assume. We knew each other for a year, have met before, and NOT had sex! Don't think I am some stupid silly woman...and if you cared to read and not just reply, I have said it's my fault!! I said I screwed up. So, don't bother replying if you can't take time to read and just want to blabber about things you don't know. Perhaps you're the one who has the trouble finding, bc you seem very bitter. have a good one.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

ORIGINAL: EventideFortuna

littlewonder,

Herpes can be transmitted with condom use. In fact there are very few STDS that can actually be prevented by condom use, while use does bring down the risk it doesnt negate it is able to be transmitted

That may be true but I'm betting this is not what took place with the op. I get the feeling they said "Yeah, we're clear so let's have sex without the condoms". I mean come on, someone tells you something it MUST be true so don't bother taking precautions, especially if they are someone you just met. And I'm of the opinion that if someone did something like this, then they have no right to complain. Take responsibility for yourself.

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Post #: 22

RE: Truth and lies - 1/4/2014 5:37:49 AM

SubSlutSlave11

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Here's the deal, I know what I did, and I have taken responsibility. What I can't get over is the flippant attitude that was shown by the a-hole. I have cancer, he knows that and he also knew I am (was, not sure until tested for herpes1) std free. Btw, he's older and seemed old school, so trust was grown over the year. We used condoms, gosh, I bought those, along with dinner and cab fair, lol!! So, please don't reply with some, "You shouldn't feel sorry for yourself...". I don't. I am pissed that I was lied to by someone I considered at least, a friend. That's honestly what hurts the most.

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RE: Truth and lies - 1/4/2014 6:06:06 AM

kalikshama

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I assumed the same thing littlewonder did. In fact, this is exactly what my man and I did:

quote:

"Yeah, we're clear so let's have sex without the condoms"

Except we exchanged paperwork. (Which did not include a test for herpes.)

I thought you were talking about genital herpes. Now I know Herpes 1 = oral herpes. HSV-1 affected 57.7% of Americans tested in a 1999-2004 study. Its prevalence is 90-100% in many other countries.

I know you feel betrayed, but perhaps you should speak to your doctor before you invest a lot of emotional energy in this.

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RE: Truth and lies - 1/4/2014 6:08:40 AM

SubSlutSlave11

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Thanks, will do. Hope you're having a great day. :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

I assumed the same thing littlewonder did. In fact, this is exactly what my man and I did:

quote:

"Yeah, we're clear so let's have sex without the condoms"

Except we exchanged paperwork. (Which did not include a test for herpes.)

I thought you were talking about genital herpes. Now I know Herpes 1 = oral herpes. HSV-1 affected 57.7% of Americans tested in a 1999-2004 study. Its prevalence is 90-100% in many other countries.

I know you feel betrayed, but perhaps you should speak to your doctor before you invest a lot of emotional energy in this.

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RE: Truth and lies - 1/4/2014 7:04:28 AM

MariaB

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The thing to keep in mind is, all forms of Herpes can show up as a false negative, depending on when the person gets tested.

I'm sorry your going through this op but no matter what the results are, this really isn't the end of the world. If it turns out you contracted herpes, I'm sure you will deal with it and learn to live with it. If you are clear then even better. Either way, this man, friend, lover betrayed you and I don't blame you for feeling like you do.

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RE: Truth and lies - 1/4/2014 7:19:52 AM

SubSlutSlave11

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Thanks, MariaB. I appreciate and you're right.. I need to get over feeling hurt and just get on. I hope you're having a better time on the site, lol. ;) Thank You for not making me feel shittier. :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

The thing to keep in mind is, all forms of Herpes can show up as a false negative, depending on when the person gets tested.

I'm sorry your going through this op but no matter what the results are, this really isn't the end of the world. If it turns out you contracted herpes, I'm sure you will deal with it and learn to live with it. If you are clear then even better. Either way, this man, friend, lover betrayed you and I don't blame you for feeling like you do.

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RE: Truth and lies - 1/4/2014 7:29:35 AM

tj444

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

I'm sorry your going through this op but no matter what the results are, this really isn't the end of the world. If it turns out you contracted herpes, I'm sure you will deal with it and learn to live with it. If you are clear then even better. Either way, this man, friend, lover betrayed you and I don't blame you for feeling like you do.

when people hear the words "cold sore" they don't think that much about it (there are plenty of ads for abreva etc) because so many people either get those or know someone that gets them.. but say the word "herpes" and all hell breaks out..

Has anyone ever had chickenpox? well, that is in the Herpes "family" also..

"More than 90% of the US population has been infected by the Chicken Pox."

"The biggest difference between all types of herpes is where the blister forms and the specific virus that caused it. The 8 known common names for Herpes viruses that can infect humans, are:
Type 1- Oral Herpes (HSV-1)
Type 2- Genital Herpes (HSV-2)
Type 3- Chicken Pox and Shingles (HHV-3)
Type 4- Epstein Barr virus (EBV) Can cause Mononucleosis (The kissing disease)
Type 5- Cytomegalovirus (CMV) Can also cause Mononucleosis
Type 6 and 7- Roseolovirus (HHV-6a and HHV-6B and HHV-7)
Type 8- Kapasi’s Sarcoma (KSHV)"

http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2013/01/chicken-pox-is-a-form-of-herpes/

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RE: Truth and lies - 1/4/2014 7:36:31 AM

SubSlutSlave11

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Thank You, tj444. I get it, and yes I understand that a cold sore is a form of herpes... I am mad at myself...and LMAO!! I just saw Your profile pic...that's good!!! Thanks for the chuckle :)

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RE: Truth and lies - 1/4/2014 7:44:17 AM

tj444

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SubSlutSlave11

Thank You, tj444. I get it, and yes I understand that a cold sore is a form of herpes... I am mad at myself...and LMAO!! I just saw Your profile pic...that's good!!! Thanks for the chuckle :)

well.. if you want to hear something totally strange..

"A genetically engineered version of the virus that causes herpes shows promise as a treatment for a particularly aggressive type of breast cancer, according to a new study in animals."

http://www.livescience.com/16736-herpes-virus-triple-negative-breast-cancer.html

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RE: Truth and lies - 1/4/2014 7:47:46 AM

SubSlutSlave11

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Yes, that is definitely odd... and I beat breast cancer, wonder if that was the miracle drug? ha ;) (but really did beat breast cancer :)
Thanks for not making me feel worse. :)

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RE: Truth and lies - 1/4/2014 4:58:13 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SubSlutSlave11

So, I don't mind you giving opinions, but don't assume anything... people may do the same about you. :)

Yup, they do but it doesn't bother me. I expect them to. Why would I care if they judge or assume things about me? I'm a mature adult who doesn't find it a big deal. I actually want them to. It makes me think about what I'm doing and why I'm doing it and why people think the way I do and how I come across to them. Assuming imo, is a good thing, not a bad thing.

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RE: Truth and lies - 1/4/2014 6:03:59 PM

SweetAnise

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littlewonder simply saying to the OP, "I am sorry for making that assumption." Would be far better than having to STAND YOUR GROUND making a point about how you feel when people make assumptions about you.

< Message edited by SweetAnise -- 1/4/2014 6:04:50 PM >

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RE: Truth and lies - 1/4/2014 7:05:49 PM

WPHslave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetAnise

littlewonder simply saying to the OP, "I am sorry for making that assumption." Would be far better than having to STAND YOUR GROUND making a point about how you feel when people make assumptions about you.

Thank You, SweetAnise. That's perfectly said, I super appreciate you understand what (or why) I'm trying to say. I don't judge, and I don't care to judge. I guess one could say I publicly humiliated myself; but that type of "incident" will not happen again. Lesson learned, ha. I have researched it more, and eh, it is what is. But I would have rather known, upfront and made decision myself.
Hope all is well for you, SweetAnise. Again, thanks. :)

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RE: Truth and lies - 1/5/2014 3:59:54 AM

ResidentSadist

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What a strange thread full of errant advice. Condoms will not protect you from herpes type 1, it is not an STD.

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RE: Truth and lies - 1/5/2014 8:55:17 AM

sheisreeds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SubSlutSlave11

Ummm, I knew the guy for a year... We DID USE condoms, but of course, guys 'can't feel..blah' (as I said, knew him for a year). I have ZERO problem getting dates. I am bored of 'vanilla' and NEED to do what I need to do.

So, I don't mind you giving opinions, but don't assume anything... people may do the same about you. :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

If you didn't use a condom, start using them. It's stupid not to and I would think in this day and age any person above the age of 12 would know this.

Maybe next time before having sex, take awhile to get to know the person for awhile. What's the rush, especially if you have had poor man judgment in the past?

Also Herpes is one of the STDs where condoms do not offer full protection. Along with HPV and a few others.

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RE: Truth and lies - 1/5/2014 9:09:09 AM

DesFIP

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So when you started having sex, you didn't have the sense to say "I've made an appointment with the doctor for us both to get std scans" and then show each other the paperwork.

You failed to protect yourself and you keep insisting that it isn't your responsibility to do so. With that attitude, expect your future relationships to be just like your past ones. The only common denominator is you.

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RE: Truth and lies - 1/5/2014 12:21:12 PM

D0MBLKMAN2Serve

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REITERATING: Condoms will not protect you from HSV .... in general get to know the person and establish trust before letting him poke around ;-) Sorry to hear about your situation SubSlutSlave. Going forward be careful. It is brave of you to come out and seek advise. Hats Off.

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RE: Truth and lies - 1/5/2014 1:02:44 PM

MariaB

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DesFip, where does the op keep insisting it wasn't her responsibility? and what do you mean by saying, 'when you started having sex'? herpes type 1 can be passed on by kissing, you don't need to have sex to catch it and even if they were both tested, the chances of a false negative result is pretty high.

This was a year long long relationship, not some guy she kissed under the mistletoe at a party. I don't believe you read this thread other than the initial post.

Your sympathy astounds me

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RE: Truth and lies - 1/5/2014 1:40:14 PM

SweetAnise

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To WPHslave: Your welcome.

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