trained or un trained???

trained or un trained??? (Full Version)

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submissiveclassy -> trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 12:41:15 PM)
Would appreciate E/everyone's thoughts on. " Is it best for a submissive to be trained before seeking a Master"?

mnottertail -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 12:43:38 PM)
This will turn into a shit-slinger... My side is that you come and learn how I want things done, there is no training you could recieve that I can find acceptable. And now the other side...... LOL

impishlilhellcat -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 12:44:10 PM)
I've had Masters tell me you need to be deprogrammed or unlearn everything so and so taught you. On the flip side I've had Masters say well I can train you so you have these basic principles for the next Master you serve. I love training I love expanding and growing and stretching my limits. I think it's all about personal preference.

TxBadMan -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 12:49:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: submissiveclassy Would appreciate E/everyone's thoughts on. " Is it best for a submissive to be trained before seeking a Master"? I am sure that you will receive many different answers for such a question. My own personal preferance can go either way. In the end though, it matters not whether a submissive/slave is trained because eventually, it comes down to the Dominant/Master training their OWN. Anything you learn from another will not necessarily apply to the Master that you eventually become attatched with.

FelinePersuasion -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 12:49:59 PM)
You could find some basic information but I think it's a waste of time to train someone on something like this because the person you go to could find everything you learned abhorent and then what.

swtnsparkling -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 12:57:59 PM)
IMO- the only one to Train you is the one you will become submisisve too. He is the only one who will know what it is he desires from you and how he wishes you to act /behave and learn what will be pleasing for him. Don't fall for anyone telling you - you need to be trained and they will train you that is a bunch of bunk.

Mercnbeth -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 1:06:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: submissiveclassy Would appreciate E/everyone's thoughts on. " Is it best for a submissive to be trained before seeking a Master"? this slave believes it all depends on what the training is, specifically. for example, training one's self to relax through meditation is fabulous and can't see why anyone who doesn't belong to some sort of fundamentalist Christain sect would discourage it. on the other hand, what is the point of, e.g., learning and practicing how a particular Master or Mistress prefers His/Her slave to behave in the company of others when there is no set protocol for such a thing(unless one is kajira?).

mnottertail -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 1:14:37 PM)
I always have this vision of a girl looking up at me when attached to my genitailia and saying "This is how MasterFearsomeTrainer trained me how to do it" Imagine.

Caretakr -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 1:26:34 PM)
It matters not. They can have years of training, or none-they are going to have learn everything from scratch, either way.

Caretakr -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 1:27:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail I always have this vision of a girl looking up at me when attached to my genitailia and saying "This is how MasterFearsomeTrainer trained me how to do it" Imagine. And my reply would be, "And just where the fuck is he now?" [;)]

mnottertail -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 1:30:18 PM)
Mine would require structural repair.

skaterboy -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 1:42:14 PM)
Hmmmm, to train or not to train, that is the question? Atleast, that is what Shakespear would have said......me thinks? Honestly, do what you think is right, it's your life! Most Masters/Doms will accept you with or without training. Good luck

RavenMuse -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 2:20:27 PM)
I do prefer a girl with some experience... but not because of training, rather because having some experience she is likely to be able to be clearer about her needs and limits, her fears and problems. On the other hand newer girls haven't had the bad experiences at the hands of compleat fuck-up so-called Doms that you have to help them over. Either way, I need to learn them and they need to learn me and I need to teach them how I expect things done, what will make ME happy. So training is pretty much the same wether they have been trained before or not.

slavejali -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 3:14:13 PM)
quote: I do prefer a girl with some experience... but not because of training, rather because having some experience she is likely to be able to be clearer about her needs and limits, her fears and problems. I need to learn them and they need to learn me and I need to teach them how I expect things done, what will make ME happy. So training is pretty much the same wether they have been trained before or not. Nice post [:)] quote: this slave believes it all depends on what the training is, specifically. I agree with that too. There are lots of ways that a submssive/slave could be pre-trained that would be an assett to any Master they came to be with. Taking courses to broaden their knowledge, learn and polish skills etc. quote: I've had Masters tell me you need to be deprogrammed or unlearn everything so and so taught you. That's true too. Whenever you spend a lot of time with someone, you do become conditioned to their way of doing things...so when moving from one D/s relationship to another...there is a period of transition. No dominant is the same.

skaterboy -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 3:20:36 PM)
A tale of two cities...or a city of two tails? I can only add that reading will only broaden your curiosity and give you answers at the same time....So, READ. Sometimes it's the in between the lines that answer your questions....but, you will eventually find your answer. Good luck.

DesertRat -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 3:27:42 PM)
I agree with fastlane/slowlane/sirmise/kickinchick/skaterboy/Kevin. Reading can be good. So can talking to others. As for the training? Trained or untrained, it makes no matter to me. Having some real experience is good in a 'nuts and bolts' sense, but the two people are still going to be learning about each other, no matter what. Bob

legz -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 3:29:10 PM)
What is trained? when ever Master teaches his sub differently from others. My advise to you would be educate yourself on the lifestyle and attend some local events, ask as many questions as you desire...There is no wrong question.... Good Luck! legz[:)]

amayos -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 4:31:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: submissiveclassy Would appreciate everyone's thoughts on "Is it best for a submissive to be trained before seeking a Master"? Forgive my tendency to speak in terms of slave rather than submissive, but my predilection is for the untrained enthusiast, or one who has had little exposure to the popular circus. Unless I knew the former Owner, I have little to go on as to how the prospective slave was programmed and conditioned. I have used the term "undoing" to describe the process in which value systems and learned behaviors that I disapprove of are neutralized and a new foundation of theory is built in its stead. This is precisely what must occur should the prospective slave you're appraising bear little resemblance to your ideal, despite the avowed "years of experience". A slave's experience is only beneficial if you can further build upon it—otherwise it becomes a chore of pruning. Having said that, it is a pleasure to see one who has come full circle and has drawn her own conclusions about the illusory garden of BDSM, when she has seen with her own eyes the facades and the trickery of its masks and seeks for something true in her servility.

LokisBrat -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 5:00:09 PM)
I think just as the military has, some basic training is okay, but no specialty training is sought until they are assigned, this is the same for me. I prefer to finalize the process, after all I am grooming them for me, and I do appreciate the growth on a more personal level. There are definitely situations that I handle a bit different than most, but my personality and way of thinking is definitely different. I think each individual has their own twist on things that suit them. What I seek out of Brat, I am sure is not the same as another Dom/Master would seek. If they were already perfectly trained, my twisted mind would not be able to sit and think of punishments for mistakes and failure, and thats half the fun for me. LOKI

Padriag -> RE: trained or un trained??? (7/5/2006 5:07:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: submissiveclassy Would appreciate E/everyone's thoughts on. " Is it best for a submissive to be trained before seeking a Master"? My answer remains the same the last time this was asked... neither. There are pro's and con's to each and in my personal view neither is entirely superior. On the one hand you have a slave who has been previously trained, that might be some form of very basic and generalized training or it might have been the result of serving a previous owner or it might have been part of some group they were part of, what ever the reason such training will do several things. It will give them experiences to draw on, some additional self knowledge, some preconceived expectations and ideas, various habitual behaviors, and probably a higher initial degree of confidence. While some of that can be a positive thing towards serving a future owner, some aspects can also create problems. For example having learned behaviors that the new owner finds undesirable. There are also expectations that may be incorrect, for example the slave may have been taught she is just a sex object, and the new owner expects her to serve in other capacities (for which she is unprepared). The higher initial confidence can turn into despair if she finds she has a lot of new behaviors to learn and new expectations to adapt to. Converserly the untrained slave is closer to being a blank canvas, has fewer preconceived notions, but the preconceived notions she does have may not be grounded in reality (or real experience), they may have fears and desires that are not realistic, they have fewer experiences to use as reference points for what to expect, everything is new to them which can be both exciting and terrifying (at the same time), they may have lower initial confidence, but with some success in training this usually rises quickly, they often require more direction and patience while learning intially (because everything is new to them and they don't have an baseline experience to draw on). Again this is a mixture of good and bad things for the owner who is training them. The only time I really recommend training beforehand is if it is a very generalized course in common terminology, etiquette, listening, obedience, etc. That is, something that is more of a primer on what being a slave means, rather than slave training in the more common sense.

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