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RE: Completely inexperienced - 2/24/2014 7:54:56 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: totallyrandom
Hello,
anyone with an answer. Are most doms ok with taking on someone who the kinkiest thing they've ever done was get handcuffed to the bed like once and is there some rule as to who makes first contact the dom or sub or is it like any other relationship and it doesnt matter who makes the first move?

Many doms would delight in taking a complete newbie like you, because they believe it's easier to shape you to suit their preferences. On the other hand, you got to be careful, you are also seen as a vulnerable innocent target for less scrupulous self-proclaimed dominants.

Just whoever you play with, make sure he cares about your physical, emotional and mental welfare.

(in reply to totallyrandom)

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Post #: 21

RE: Completely inexperienced - 2/24/2014 11:13:44 PM

Inghammar

Posts: 145
Joined: 11/25/2012
Status: offline

It's no fun to meet someone halfway through a phase or whose interest lie in forms of control you aren't able to do. I require someone who shows at least a long-standing interest related to my areas of concernment. For me to feel right with someone there needs to be at least a modest effort to acquire some gear, or a relevant blog of what they enjoy at the very least. These things are important signposts that tell me what type of control the person seeks and whether or not I think they would be a good fit for me.

(in reply to Greta75)

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Post #: 22

RE: Completely inexperienced - 2/25/2014 2:48:16 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
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Kerching!

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Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

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Post #: 23

RE: Completely inexperienced - 2/25/2014 5:59:31 AM

chatterbox24

Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Am I the only one who loves that Kana calls himself "this cat"?

Ha. Yeah its cool but don't tell em I said so, cause it might go to one of his nine lives.

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I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

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Post #: 24

RE: Completely inexperienced - 2/25/2014 8:21:54 AM

MarcEsadrian

Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Waiting for a guy to contact you may mean you are only getting contacted by horn dogs. While the good guys have given up and just read about bdsm. If there's someone who attracts you, then you saying hi and you love his Twain quote or picture of a waterfall will only get a good response. Most males don't ever get emails from women they don't know and they are thrilled and almost pathetically delighted to receive one.

Brava! This was really well said. Granted, there's a difference between initiating friendly casual conversation vs. "approaching" someone, but if you are a submissive female and a man has caught your eye, there is absolutely no sensible reason why you should delay with starting up that sort of conversation and being upfront with your motives.

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Founder, Humbled Females

(in reply to DesFIP)

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Post #: 25

RE: Completely inexperienced - 3/4/2014 4:53:23 AM

KaruSF

Posts: 16
Joined: 7/19/2012
Status: offline

I do ASK about experience, but it's not a filter - have accepted subs with little or no experience, and some with lots. Try having a conversation. Dominants are not all the same, so one person's idea of perfect may be another's "no chance in hell". When interviewing a prospective sub, I am not usually as concerned about their level of experience as I am their overall attitude and expectations.

(in reply to totallyrandom)

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Post #: 26

RE: Completely inexperienced - 3/4/2014 11:06:15 AM

DomGuyDan

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/2/2014
Status: offline

Everyone starts somewhere. And I think especially where BDSM is concerned (where it can be dangerous) having a experienced partner can be really important. I've always enjoyed showing someone the ropes (forgive the pun).

(in reply to totallyrandom)

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Post #: 27