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Predatory Stalkers - 2/19/2014 6:36:19 AM   
laylaonherknees


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/24/2013
Status: offline 		What kind of advice can you give to deal with predatory stalkers? This site does not allow blacklisting and I get rid of a AA DOM that I have no interest in. I have tried blocking features on my offline email and phone and am contacting my local sheriff's dept to get a restraining order.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Predatory Stalkers - 2/19/2014 6:51:25 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I assume you have made it clear that you don't want any more contact? If you spell out that you feel like he's stalking you and consider to take the appropriate legal steps, he might just stop.
In case that doesn't help, you might have to simply change your email and phone number and ditch your old profile here and make a new one. I hope he doesn't have your address.

Fingers crossed that he understands you aren't playing hard to get but that you really aren't interested, and that it's just an issue of miscommunication.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to laylaonherknees)
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RE: Predatory Stalkers - 2/19/2014 7:03:41 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laylaonherknees

What kind of advice can you give to deal with predatory stalkers?

Quite simple - you report them.
Then you get a restraining order.

Once those are done, you report every breach of the order.

This is a no-brainer.
Where's your common-sense??


(in reply to laylaonherknees)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Predatory Stalkers - 2/19/2014 7:07:59 AM   
laylaonherknees


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/24/2013
Status: offline 		I have plenty of common sense and am educated. He is a duplicitious AA DOM. He fooled by Master as well. He is using fake pics on his profile. This venue does not allow blacklisting but I suspect he has done this to many others. He is like Jekyll and Hyde.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
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RE: Predatory Stalkers - 2/19/2014 7:10:16 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		Scary thing is, restraining orders only work on the pushy but sane.

Get a restraining order, but please do not depend on that sheet of paper keeping you safe.

For a genuinely obsessed stalker, a restraining order is like thinking a piece of paper is kevlar. It won't stop a dangerous threat.

WinD

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
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RE: Predatory Stalkers - 2/19/2014 7:14:03 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline 		Agreed.
But the site won't do anything (why should they with no proof?).
That's why you need to be vigilant.
Report every single breach of the order.
Too many breaches and they'll eventually pick him up and cart him away for processing (jail).
Well.... at least that's how it works over here.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Predatory Stalkers - 2/19/2014 7:14:09 AM   
laylaonherknees


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/24/2013
Status: offline 		I understand what you are saying about the restraining order and that it has no value to someone that is apparently not sane. I cannot understand how someone can become so twisted and obsessed. My thought is that I will have to try to kick him where it counts and threaten his livelihood and profession.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Predatory Stalkers - 2/19/2014 7:16:55 AM   
laylaonherknees


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/24/2013
Status: offline 		I have proof....incessant emails, texts and phone records. I am taking my phone up to verizon to see what they can do. he is calling me in the middle the night. What kind of nut does this? he texts, he calls, it's neverending.

(in reply to laylaonherknees)
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RE: Predatory Stalkers - 2/19/2014 7:17:26 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		... NM

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 2/19/2014 7:18:20 AM >

(in reply to laylaonherknees)
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RE: Predatory Stalkers - 2/19/2014 7:19:32 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		No, I'm going to say it. That is ridiculous. Don't threaten, don't communicate with him. Just don't. If you do, well then see Freedomdwarfs earliest comment.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Predatory Stalkers - 2/19/2014 7:29:15 AM   
SweetAnise


Posts: 480
Joined: 8/23/2013
Status: offline 		Best way to deal with a stalker is to stop communicating with him. If you have your evidence then all you need to do next is silence your phone at night to get rest. Reject calls coming from him. Do not answer calls you don't know. Change your user profile if you must. No answering calls. No leaving nasty messages. No threats. Go to the police take your evidence file for a TRO and then get the RO. If he is emailing you put his email into a folder so you DON'T SEE THEM. If he is emailing you on CM....contact Support. You can have peace of mind. But do not name him...it is what he wants.

_____________________________

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us."-Marianne Williamson




(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
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RE: Predatory Stalkers - 2/19/2014 7:31:33 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laylaonherknees
I have proof....incessant emails, texts and phone records. I am taking my phone up to verizon to see what they can do. he is calling me in the middle the night. What kind of nut does this? he texts, he calls, it's neverending.

Why Verizon? Why aren't you walking into your local police office and asking them what THEY can do? Why not get the ball rolling in a serious fashion rather than play games?


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to laylaonherknees)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Predatory Stalkers - 2/19/2014 7:31:43 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		What's an AA Dom?

(in reply to laylaonherknees)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Predatory Stalkers - 2/19/2014 7:43:24 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

What's an AA Dom?


I had that same question. My best guess was 'angry, abusive'. But, I'm starting to lean toward her AA sponsor.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Predatory Stalkers - 2/19/2014 7:45:33 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: laylaonherknees
I have proof....incessant emails, texts and phone records. I am taking my phone up to verizon to see what they can do. he is calling me in the middle the night. What kind of nut does this? he texts, he calls, it's neverending.

Why Verizon? Why aren't you walking into your local police office and asking them what THEY can do? Why not get the ball rolling in a serious fashion rather than play games?


I would have started with my phone company too, but I would have contacted them the first day. Also, I've been shutting my ringer off at night for 25 years.

laylaonherknees - what's your email provider? Have you already figured out how to block his messages or send them to your Spam folder?

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Predatory Stalkers - 2/19/2014 7:48:17 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

What's an AA Dom?


I had that same question. My best guess was 'angry, abusive'. But, I'm starting to lean toward her AA sponsor.


Ya, since she knows what he does for work, I'm leaning towards that AA as well.

laylaonherknees - has your Master told this guy to back off?

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Predatory Stalkers - 2/19/2014 8:00:44 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		http://cyberstalkerhelp.org/

_____________________________



(in reply to laylaonherknees)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Predatory Stalkers - 2/19/2014 8:12:15 AM   
laylaonherknees


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/24/2013
Status: offline 		Blocked him on email on YM and he got through filters. Contacted sheriff's dept already. Tried to block him unsuccessfully through Verizon which is why I am going up there today At first, I thought hell in a day he will just give up and go away. But he hasn't at all. I dont understand the attraction.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Predatory Stalkers - 2/19/2014 8:16:36 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline 		http://www.stalkinghelpline.org/creating-a-log/

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to laylaonherknees)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Predatory Stalkers - 2/19/2014 8:18:35 AM   
ExiledTyrant


Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

http://cyberstalkerhelp.org/


Ha! Simpatico :) I knee jerked linked before I read the thread.

xoxoxoxo
Exiled

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 20
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