RE: Sharing a sub with other dom

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RE: Sharing a sub with other dom - 3/9/2014 3:06:18 AM

bachus

Posts: 31
Joined: 1/27/2014
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Very clear you have some concerns about some of the things that are happening in the relationship. Honestly communication is really very important in BDSM, without it really not wise to be in any relationship.
However it is not for me to judge you relationship, still most submissive's I know would start running and not look back, and I would not blame them.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

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RE: Sharing a sub with other dom - 3/9/2014 1:05:54 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

Thank you for the answer. First of all he does not know I am craving for the answers here. For the question part, yes we made a agreement and during my slavery I agreed that I would never ask a question unles he allows me to do so. I realy can't understand why this is not acceptable and it highly makes me respect him. I guess this is because I am more into mental bdsm and mind fuck.

How do you two get to the point of him allowing you to ask a question?

My ex Master did not like to be questioned about his decisions. He like it when I framed questions, "May I make a request?" or, "I have a question." If he granted me permission to continue, at that point I would.

< Message edited by kalikshama -- 3/9/2014 1:08:00 PM >

(in reply to quickiemy)

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RE: Sharing a sub with other dom - 3/9/2014 1:26:51 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

[quickiemy]

Thank you for the answer. First of all he does not know I am craving for the answers here. For the question part, yes we made a agreement and during my slavery I agreed that I would never ask a question unles he allows me to do so. I realy can't understand why this is not acceptable and it highly makes me respect him. I guess this is because I am more into mental bdsm and mind fuck.

How do you two get to the point of him allowing you to ask a question?

My ex Master did not like to be questioned about his decisions. He like it when I framed questions, "May I make a request?" or, "I have a question." If he granted me permission to continue, at that point I would.

Big, big difference. Huge. I don't know any Dominant who likes being continually questioned about the whys and wherefors of ground that's already been covered, but neither do they shirk their open communication responsibilities within the dynamic. Some matters of a private nature that don't affect you is another story.

I notice you refer to "my slavery" and that you haven't addressed a number of the questions I raised. One last question until the others are answered. Does your concept of slavery include your blind acceptance of whatever your Master says to you, so that you can feel justified in using any loopholes or uncovered ground (under the auspices of you can't ask questions about parameters, limits, or determine whether you are both on the same page) to go do your own thing in your free time when you feel you are no longer under his authority? Unless you both agreed to it, this isn't how D/s-M/s works. That is how dysfunctional relationships operate.

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(in reply to kalikshama)

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RE: Sharing a sub with other dom - 3/9/2014 2:18:49 PM

CynthiaWVirginia

Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: quickiemy

Have you ever shared your sub with other dom? Does your sub/slave enjoy with it?

Sexually? Hell no.

For a demonstration at a party? Yes, sometimes. He loved receiving florentine flogging so that others could see how it was done.

For service type stuff? Yes. I've loaned him out to at least three other dominants (friends). His skills have saved our friends from having to pay out hundreds of dollars to repair men. He doesn't enjoy it. It messes up his body for days afterward (he's disabled), but it's the right thing to do and I don't loan him out often.

quote:

I am wondering if this means that my dom is bored of me, or he finds it arousing.

I don't know. He might even have an agreement with several other dominants that when any of them are between submissives, they will share theirs so that everyone gets laid or gets their house cleaned, yard work done, etc.

As for the not being allowed to ask questions thing, yes, I could see how that could work. Especially if there is a "no punishment zone" daily journal being kept.

Myself, I tend to explain what I want/expect in detail. I believe I do a very thorough job of it, and am reasonably good at reading faces and body language. My slave has a brain injury, my adult son has autism, and my mother is pretty deaf even with her hearing aid...for the sake of clarity I have them ask me questions whenever they feel they need to. I try to be an endless well of patience because I would rather know that everyone is on the same page than have...chaos...and have to roll up my sleeves to clean up all kinds of mental and emotional messes and fix screw ups that could have been prevented.

< Message edited by CynthiaWVirginia -- 3/9/2014 2:20:53 PM >

(in reply to quickiemy)

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RE: Sharing a sub with other dom - 3/14/2014 2:05:01 PM

Arturas

Posts: 3245
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quote:

ORIGINAL: quickiemy

Have you ever shared your sub with other dom? Does your sub/slave enjoy with it?

No.

Clearly other Dom's at dinner or at the club wanted the opportunity but I never considered it and know she would not enjoy it either. I do enjoy the looks she gets so in a way I do share her, her beauty, as I suppose most Dom's do.

Did someone already say this...the first question would make a nice poll. Would you consider doing that?

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RE: Sharing a sub with other dom - 3/14/2014 2:08:23 PM

Arturas

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...for a time we did do public play but only together and I don't consider public play where she is bound to the whipping horse with her skirt pulled up over her back and her panties down around one high heeled leg while I publically play with her for several hours as "sharing" with other Dom's. Nobody else was allowed to touch her while she was so helpless and in my care.

At the same time I did see shared submissives and shared Dom's.

< Message edited by Arturas -- 3/14/2014 2:09:23 PM >

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