Poverty hard limits?

Poverty hard limits? (Full Version)

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lovesobedience -> Poverty hard limits? (5/4/2014 11:38:58 PM)
It could seem that there are those out there who might have a hard limit on poverty. Now it is one thing to be working a fast food job, unable to get better than that, and scraping by each month. But I would think there is a difference, hopefully, between that and someone who has little to no disposable income because they are in school, or something similar. What are people's thoughts on the subject?

LordHeimdall -> RE: Poverty hard limits? (5/5/2014 12:40:28 AM)
First let me start with saying for me this is only a Hypothetical... My Sub and I are not interested in a Poly Household, and unless something terrible should happen to take my Sub from me, I will not be looking for another Sub. For me it would depend on the exact limits of Poverty. If she was working in a minimum wage job and had good hygiene and in all other ways meshed with my personality, it would be no problem. If she were in school, chances are very good she is too young for me. Currently I'd be looking for a sub 30-40 years old. By the time I would actually be looking for a sub, who knows...

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Poverty hard limits? (5/5/2014 12:57:40 AM)
Context is important. In your example, I imagine I'm supposed to think the fast food job is bad and the college student is good? Well, perhaps. But fast food is demanding work, and I'll take someone who isn't too proud to bust his ass however necessary to pay the rent over someone who is bumming about in college with no real drive to get into a career. Likewise if I'm dating a nineteen year old, I might expect her to still be with parents or roommates, and living on a pretty tight budget. If she's thirty five and still in a houseshare and eating ramen noodles every night, I might start to think that she's not yet mature enough to run her own life. There are exceptions, of course. No one can tell what the future brings. If I commit to someone I fully expect that we will go through hard times together and that at some points one of us may need to financially support the other. But I would want to make sure that the 'poverty' wasn't caused by lack of money management skills or selfishness. Perhaps more important than how much money a potential partner has, is their attitude towards it. If I want to save up and avoid debt and invest in property, and you want to charge expensive gadgets and lavish holidays to the credit card, we're not likely to mesh long term.

DaddySatyr -> RE: Poverty hard limits? (5/5/2014 1:03:05 AM)
I can kind of relate; from both sides with a slight caveat: how much a person makes doesn't really matter to me. What I have found is that there are a lot of female profiles (I don't engage with males) that insist that a potential mate be "gainfully employed". Well, that's something of an issue for me because I will probably never work another "meaningful" day in my life. I have been diagnosed with a condition that means that I have less than 20 years to live. I worked hard, all of my life (since I was 14). I made concessions. I saved. I invested. I have been very blessed in my life and I recognize that. Because of all these things, I don't *need* to work. I have a modest, fixed income that affords me all of my needs and some of my caprices. I am going to be going back to school to finish my degree; a promise I made, many years ago to myself and one of my children. I have interacted with a couple of ladies that are of the mind that someone who is not "moving up" is "moving down". I forget 'em and move on. Shallowness is an ugly attribute. By the same token, while I said that what a person makes doesn't matter to me (it's true). I think though, someone who (using your words) "Now it is one thing to be working a fast food job, unable to get better than that, and scraping by each month." might be a double-edged sword. If a person is unable to advance from that, surely, it's not a reflection on them. If a person is un-willing, that's another issue. When I first moved to Pennsyltucky to be with my lady, I "inherited" her "friend" (40 years old) and almost 3 year old daughter. Lisa had been living with Beth for over a year, already because she was unwilling to get a job. She mooched money off of Beth for beer and cigarettes and "contributed" to the household through food stamps and the occasional "surface" house cleaning. She also "contributed" by blaring the stereo as loud as she could, as often as she could, and allowing her child free reign to be as obnoxious as possible (you know the type of parent to whom I refer: Mother: "Johnny, don't do that." Johnny cries. Mother: "Oh, alright but just until dinner time."). The child was almost three years old and didn't know what "Please" and "Thank you" were. She had never been introduced to toilet training, etc. Partially as a result of these things, the landlord had refused to issue a new lease and had asked them to start looking for somewhere else to live. Lisa, the mother, is a drunk, drug-using (when she can get it), lying, thieving, self-centered ... You get the point. When Beth and I decided we would live together, we decided that Lisa would have to go. When we started having the discussion with Lisa, when we got to the part about Beth and I living together, Lisa declared: "Give me six months and I'll make 'other arrangements'. I'm not dealing with *him* ." She knew her free ride was just about over. Lisa didn't *look* for a job (or a place to live) until six months had passed. She moved into her new place in the beginning of November and stopped working before Thanksgiving. As far as I know, she never paid a dime of the rent and has been evicted. Anyway, I needed to paint a picture of the kind of person who might be working that minimum wage job, etc. There are people who might not have the ambition and there are people who might not have the ability. There's a huge difference. I may, at some point, feel the need to get out of the house for a few hours a day. I may find myself wearing orange and brown. I don't *need* a better job. Why would I look for one? Screen captures *still* RULE! Ya feel me?

LordHeimdall -> RE: Poverty hard limits? (5/5/2014 1:49:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr I can kind of relate; from both sides with a slight caveat: how much a person makes doesn't really matter to me. What I have found is that there are a lot of female profiles (I don't engage with males) that insist that a potential mate be "gainfully employed". Well, that's something of an issue for me because I will probably never work another "meaningful" day in my life. ----------- Snip --------------- I have interacted with a couple of ladies that are of the mind that someone who is not "moving up" is "moving down". I forget 'em and move on. Shallowness is an ugly attribute. By the same token, while I said that what a person makes doesn't matter to me (it's true). I think though, someone who (using your words) "Now it is one thing to be working a fast food job, unable to get better than that, and scraping by each month." might be a double-edged sword. If a person is unable to advance from that, surely, it's not a reflection on them. If a person is un-willing, that's another issue. ------------- snip --------------------- Anyway, I needed to paint a picture of the kind of person who might be working that minimum wage job, etc. There are people who might not have the ambition and there are people who might not have the ability. There's a huge difference. I may, at some point, feel the need to get out of the house for a few hours a day. I may find myself wearing orange and brown. I don't *need* a better job. Why would I look for one? Thank you for such an in depth answer Satyr... This is the essence I was driving at with mine. But you answered with so much more elegance. I have seen many people working in these low paying jobs because they can not, or do not feel like, they can get better. It was only with my constant reinforcement to my Sub that she left one of these for a better paying job and is now making almost double with full benefits. I was thinking these things, but put it more simplistically, "and in all other ways meshed with my personality." If she was more like the Lisa, she would not have mesh with my personality and I could not tolerate her. But in the future, I would accept as a sub, someone that goes to work, and has been working for years, in one of these low paying jobs, if she and I meshed in other ways. I would not hold poverty alone against them. Only attitude, which would fall under us meshing together.

DaddySatyr -> RE: Poverty hard limits? (5/5/2014 1:54:13 AM)
Yeah, I apologize. I used to write for a living and, when I really sink my teeth into a subject, I tend to want to make sure that I give as much info as possible to get the correct message across. Since I (maybe wrongly) put the name out there, yes, Lisa and I would not be a good mesh on a lot of levels but, I have to admit that even if we meshed in other ways, if she exhibited an unwillingness to work (whether to better herself or support herself), I would have no time for her. There's a difference between someone "stuck" in a situation because of life's challenges and someone who is just plain lazy. Peace, Michael Screen captures *still* RULE! ya feel me?

LadyLucan -> RE: Poverty hard limits? (5/5/2014 2:35:36 AM)
As a socialist, it would feel absurd to me to judge someone based on their income, job or level of education, since many aspects of each operate outside a person's control. I find the manner in which an individual chooses to spend their leisure time far more telling.

LordHeimdall -> RE: Poverty hard limits? (5/5/2014 4:16:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyLucan As a socialist, it would feel absurd to me to judge someone based on their income, job or level of education, since many aspects of each operate outside a person's control. I find the manner in which an individual chooses to spend their leisure time far more telling. And the only real reason I discounted the student, Lucan, was because in my mind/thoughts, She would probably be too young for my dynamics. Perhaps I shouldn't be so quick to dismiss that as a possibility, as there are people returning to school at late stages of life all the time, as Satyr even mentioned he would be doing. So I should say, I would even consider the student. But once again, for me, it is all a Hypothetical anyways...

windchymes -> RE: Poverty hard limits? (5/5/2014 4:37:05 AM)
It always bugs me to hear people knocking on people who work fast food jobs. Since we seem to like to buy and eat so much of it, who do we think is going to prepare it and hand it out the window to us? When I lived in Northern Virginia, people complained because so many fast food workers didn't speak English well. But those born in America who speak the language thought they were too good to work such a menial job. So.......? The people who earn my respect are those who do what they have to do to get the bills paid. And stay within the boundaries of the law.

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Poverty hard limits? (5/5/2014 10:17:42 AM)
I agree with ^; I respect those who work whatever job necessary or available to get the bills paid and the family supported. But yes to the OP, poverty is a hard limit for me. I've never asked to be supported by anyone else and I'm not willing to support another adult. The exception to that would be for a partner in a LTR whose circumstances change. But as a consideration to start a relationship, poverty and non-employment would be a definitive show stopper.

anniezz338 -> RE: Poverty hard limits? (5/5/2014 2:17:53 PM)
I've always felt that financial status drew the same financial status. Since they are in the same circles, functions, events, it makes sense they would meet others of the same ilk. This isn't Pretty Woman, the world just doesn't work that way.

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Poverty hard limits? (5/5/2014 2:29:03 PM)
Except nowadays, lots of people are meeting online. So the circles have changed. I've also had the experience that people online can be "creative" about their employment and financial health (like lots of other things).

shadowborn61 -> RE: Poverty hard limits? (5/5/2014 3:41:44 PM)
Back in the day i worked at a taco bell and a Frisches big boy for a total of four years all together. A bad economy + small town + not many good paying jobs to begin with = you take any job that pays the bills. Having worked those jobs i have never and will never give a fast food worker a hard time, It is a thankless low paying bust ass job with little incentive but many people do those jobs with pride and so i treat them with respect.

KnightofMists -> RE: Poverty hard limits? (5/5/2014 3:45:11 PM)
There are many reasons why a person is struggling financially. Some reasons are understandable and not a negative valuation to ones character. In other situations it is not so positive. The reality most are living from pay check to pay check. But I found the richest people are not usually the ones with the biggest bank account.

Culdron -> RE: Poverty hard limits? (5/5/2014 6:46:00 PM)
The other side of the coin. I live in abject poverty. This is because of bad choices (not drugs) and mental health issues. To give you an idea I'm at a 6 year high of about $600 a month for a family of 3. I also get food stamps and medical, but no cash. I have a liberal studies Degree from a state school here in PA (bad choice #1) and I come from a family full of higher ed. Very middle class. I feel a very Pygmalion/My Fair Lady sort of thing, where I am caught between who I was (and hope to be again) and who I am now. I have little in common with the people who have spent generations at this financial level, but those that I do have things in common with hear my story and assume I'm after them for their cash. I do ok, I'm not looking to be taken care of. That said, I am looking for someone who has his shit together. Lead by example and all that. Here's why, my kids dad makes $38k or so a year. When I was at my poorest (about $250 a mo) I would have to help him out with my food stamps (we never lived together) because he didn't really have enough to feed the kids or I'd drive them in because he didn't have gas money. So despite making more in a month than I did in almost a year I was able to manage better than he was. It doesn't matter to me what someone makes as long as they aren't going to starve before payday, talk intelligently, have decent manners, and all their teeth.

lovesobedience -> RE: Poverty hard limits? (5/5/2014 10:32:30 PM)
Thank you for your response Culdron. I am also somewhat on that side of the coin. I am working two jobs because one didn't cover the bills, and attending college. And yet, due to unfortunate circumstances in my life, I am not a 20 year old in school, but over 30. It seems like there is an almost unspoken, "When you are settled financially and can support me, then I would talk to you." kind of a mentality. Perhaps I am mistaken, but my profile is not exactly spartan, and I am not looking for a ton of different kinds of people. I just want one submissive woman, to share life with. Whether that is easier or harder, is not as important to me as the journey I would take with that woman. It seems like I am supposed to wait five or ten years to look for someone... does that seem wrong to anyone else too?

shadowborn61 -> RE: Poverty hard limits? (5/6/2014 4:32:07 AM)
@lovesobedience You might have better luck finding a submissive if you find a kink group in or around the area You live in. Try fetlife.com and do a search for groups in Your area and good luck to You Sir.

lilcracker -> RE: Poverty hard limits? (5/6/2014 4:44:52 AM)
Why would you want to be with someone who just wanted your support? My belief is there is someone for everyone....I waited a damn long time for my partner...so long in fact I was so content being single, I wasn't sure I wanted a man but we came together. We met through a friend and in real time not internet. He DOES work in fast food....he has for years so he is past the minimum wage...he is a part of management however, I make more and was completely able to support myself prior to him and would be able to if we parted. We aren't rich just comfy and recently we were able to get a new vehicle...we have babied his long enough and it's time to get something I am comfortable driving. (And yep we would have each been able to get a new one solo but by going into it together we got a better rate.) So nope nothing wrong with fast food. We are pretty happy together in the life we created. My advice is to steer clear of those seeking a 50 Shades novel type lifestyle. I doubt that sort of life will happen outside of the fantasy created in hopeful minds.

Lynnxz -> RE: Poverty hard limits? (5/6/2014 6:42:20 AM)
The type of person that annoys me, is the type that lives paycheck to paycheck, but insists on having children, a new phone, a nice car... Etc etc. You've already proven yourself to be incapable of dealing with your own mess, I'm not going to try and make it more complicated. Irresponsibility is a better measure of someone than their paycheck, I think.

MasterCaneman -> RE: Poverty hard limits? (5/6/2014 7:50:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists There are many reasons why a person is struggling financially. Some reasons are understandable and not a negative valuation to ones character. In other situations it is not so positive. The reality most are living from pay check to pay check. But I found the richest people are not usually the ones with the biggest bank account. That is very true, KoM. You can't buy happiness, nor even rent it. As someone who lives on the edge myself, I can relate to it, and most of my past partners and associates in the Scene weren't what you call 'living the dream'. And I have the experience of seeing how folks who did have the money live it out, and some were desperately unhappy, despite having all the wealth one could possible want.

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