FieryOpal
Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013 From: Maryland Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Exidor Looking at the lists in the thread, I can only surmise that either most of you are painfully vanilla, or the core relationship issues are the same between vanilla and BDSM... That's the point, though, intimate relationships don't vary much other than in the particulars (closed loop, open or poly); although in my experience I've found and seen that the degree of bonded D/s intimacy becomes more intense and devotional than in your typical vanilla couple's bonding. I'll add that the difference with a casual (FWB) set-up is that I personally don't believe you can have an authentic D/s dynamic without the critical component of ownership/loyalty/commitment. You can *play* at having a Dominant-Top and submissive-bottom dynamic during BDSM play scening, just as you can pretend to be making love to a casual FWB sex partner you aren't in love with, but in either case, this would only be an empty shell of going through the motions, not the real deal. TRUST would still have to be at the top of the lists with kinky play partners, in terms of consensuality always being honored and possible personal safety issues.
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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau
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