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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/6/2014 9:09:49 AM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
110lbs is just 7.5 stones.
For a normal height person that would be towards the bottom end of the 'healthy' BMI scale.
I would call that 'underweight' and definitely not healthy and certainly not to my taste.

I know, you have expressed many many times you like women with meat on their bones.
But majority of men here do not. As I said, men like what they grew up with as the norm.

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/6/2014 9:11:22 AM   
littleladybug


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75


So I want to know what status of women is tied to?



IMO, the freedom of choice-- as I explained in my last posting.

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/6/2014 9:14:54 AM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug
IMO, the freedom of choice-- as I explained in my last posting.

But I have no idea what freedom of choice do Singaporean women have lack of?
If one wants to talk about a country that discriminates against men and gives women more rights than men, our country is definitely it.

Okay, except for pregnancy, many companies still fires women for being pregnant, but the issue with that is in interviews, you will be asked if you plan to get pregnant and if you answered yes, you won't be employed, and if you answered no, and if you got pregnant, they have the right to fire you as you lied.

So maybe that's the part where we get low rankings, but that's just not giving female special privileges for getting pregnant, which isn't exactly discrimination.

The government tries to solve this problem by compensating companies for women's maternity leave, fully subsidies their salaries, but most companies just don't want to hire a pregnant woman, and many of these companies are MNCs by the way, Western companies.


< Message edited by Greta75 -- 11/6/2014 9:16:50 AM >

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/6/2014 9:21:07 AM   
littleladybug


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75



Okay, except for pregnancy, many companies still fires women for being pregnant, but the issue with that is in interviews, you will be asked if you plan to get pregnant and if you answered yes, you won't be employed, and if you answered no, and if you got pregnant, they have the right to fire you as you lied.

So maybe that's the part where we get low rankings, but that's just not giving female special privileges for getting pregnant, which isn't exactly discrimination.



That's *not* discrimination??

I'm only going by what you have just said here, but it seems to me like part of the culture *is* about gender discrimination. The US went through this 5 decades ago (see my posting about 4 pages ago regarding our first two female Supreme Court Justices). If as you say "many companies" do this, I can see that would be *precisely* why Singapore gets low marks.

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/6/2014 9:22:11 AM   
Zonie63


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

Difficult to say. If we're comparing how it is from country to country, then one might compare the status of women from country to country and see how different areas of the world measure up. I came across this survey which did that, and the top ten were all Western countries. Iceland, Sweden, and Canada were the top three. The USA placed at #8. The highest ranked Asian country was the Philippines at #17 (although they still beat the UK which ranked at #19). Singapore ranked at #37, and Malaysia came in at #81.

What's the ranking based upon, especially when in Singapore, in schools without fail every year, the female top in grades. We still have alot of single gender schools, so it's easy to compare male versus female grades. Also most women work. Stay at home moms are more common in the west than in our country.


The categories were outlined.

quote:


8, United States of America
Overall score (out of 100): 89.8
Justice: 82.9
Health: 92.8
Education: 97.3
Economics: 83.9
Politics: 68.6

...

37, Singapore
Overall score (out of 100): 80.8
Justice: 84.5
Health: 84.1
Education: 87.3
Economics: 84.1
Politics: 42.7


I can't say how they actually quantified all of this, although it seems the category with the widest difference is in Politics. How much sway or influence do women have in the political arena? In the US and other Western countries, women do have a strong voice which is heard, otherwise many of the changes and reforms promoting equality in our system never would have come about in the first place.

Also, if Singapore has relatively more single-gender schools than in the US, that may also account for the difference in the educational category. Single-gender schools have been a source of some controversy in the West, such as when women weren't allowed to attend any of the military service academies or other previously all-male bastions. Likewise, many previously all-female institutions have since become open to males. A widely-held view in America is that segregation leads to inequality, which is why single-gender schools have been largely frowned upon.

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/6/2014 9:22:41 AM   
littleladybug


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

The government tries to solve this problem by compensating companies for women's maternity leave, fully subsidies their salaries, but most companies just don't want to hire a pregnant woman, and many of these companies are MNCs by the way, Western companies.



Western companies who are operating in Singapore, under Singapore's rules. In this case, it's not them, it's the laws enacted under which they operate.

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/6/2014 9:25:57 AM   
Zonie63


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75


quote:

ORIGINAL: Zonie63
I think it's implied that they're already saying that, but perhaps they don't see things as "simply" as you would like them to.

Unless I am having some serious English comprehension problems.

If a man says to a girl that's been rape, "Oh, it could have been worst, you could have been killed."

That means a man is actually saying his against rape? Wow!



I don't know how we got to this absurd example, but since you asked, then he would be saying it in a left-handed, offensive, insensitive, (possibly) misogynistic and crass manner, but...yes.

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/6/2014 9:28:10 AM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug
see my posting about 4 pages ago regarding our first two female Supreme Court Justices

Singapore has more female judges than male judges though in the supreme court.
I think it's understandable that companies do not want the inconvenience of finding a replacement for the employee while she's busy going on months of long leave because of her choice to get pregnant.
Pregnancy is a choice, not an illness, anyway, even if it's illness, let's say she has cancer and can't work anymore, most companies won't keep her anyway.

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/6/2014 9:30:17 AM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug
Western companies who are operating in Singapore, under Singapore's rules. In this case, it's not them, it's the laws enacted under which they operate.

There is no law that says you can't hire pregnant women or must fire them. It's free choice by the companies. Infact, our law says, hire those women, when they get pregnant, we will take over paying their salaries. We just don't believe in forcing companies to hire an employee that is gonna go MIA for a few months because of her choice to get pregnant.
I always said the solution to this problem is that, woman gives birth, go straight back into the workforce, while men goes on the 3 months paternity leave and be the full time baby caretaker, that way, they won't fire pregnant women anymore.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 11/6/2014 9:33:12 AM >

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/6/2014 9:32:19 AM   
freedomdwarf1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75


quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
110lbs is just 7.5 stones.
For a normal height person that would be towards the bottom end of the 'healthy' BMI scale.
I would call that 'underweight' and definitely not healthy and certainly not to my taste.

I know, you have expressed many many times you like women with meat on their bones.
But majority of men here do not. As I said, men like what they grew up with as the norm.


My Japanese friend disagrees with you.
I do not believe you speak for the majority of men in your country or Asia for that matter.
Maybe amongst your circle of friends.

My friend says Asian women are too skinny and too obsessed with being skinny because that is what they think their menfolk want. Apparently not so according to him and his friends.




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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/6/2014 9:33:01 AM   
littleladybug


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

Singapore has more female judges than male judges though in the supreme court.


And, while that is a good thing, it was not my point in mentioning it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
I think it's understandable that companies do not want the inconvenience of finding a replacement for the employee while she's busy going on months of long leave because of her choice to get pregnant.



*This* was my point in mentioning it. How can you say that you don't understand the difference in the impression of the "status of women" after saying this? If this is any sort of "universal opinion", I can certainly see why there are so many women going back to work so shortly after having children...and it's not because of the affordability of hired help....


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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/6/2014 9:34:33 AM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

My Japanese friend disagrees with you.
I do not believe you speak for the majority of men in your country or Asia for that matter.
Maybe amongst your circle of friends.

My friend says Asian women are too skinny and too obsessed with being skinny because that is what they think their menfolk want. Apparently not so according to him and his friends.


Well I am not Japanese, I am chinese. I do not know what Japanese men taste are as I've only met one Japanese man in my entire life.


< Message edited by Greta75 -- 11/6/2014 9:35:42 AM >

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/6/2014 9:35:04 AM   
littleladybug


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

There is no law that says you can't hire pregnant women or must fire them. It's free choice by the companies. Infact, our law says, hire those women, when they get pregnant, we will take over paying their salaries. We just don't believe in forcing companies to hire an employee that is gonna go MIA for a few months because of her choice to get pregnant.



No...but the law ALLOWS for discrimination on the basis of gender in hiring and firing-- there is a HUGE difference there.

And while "your law" seems to be a good one, apparently it's not working too well.

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/6/2014 9:42:21 AM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug
And while "your law" seems to be a good one, apparently it's not working too well.

I just do not understand how is it the company's responsibility to make sure a woman does not have to choose between her family and her career. Many men have to choose too, and some choose family and some choose career. Sure they don't have the carry the package, but they can choose to be buried in work or choose to be around for his family. Whatever he chooses, something will be sacrificed, it could be his promotion, his job prospects.


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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/6/2014 9:42:22 AM   
FieryOpal


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Zonie63
quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

I got to say, it is in absolute shock that quite huge number, infact, as of now, 100% of my caucasian locally based vanilla male friends, who I thought were super nice guys and gentlemanly, is trivializing this whole thing, saying that they are making too much of a big deal out of it, when I brought up the subject to them. Like WTF?

In comparison to local men, and infact, based on internet alone, in our local online media when featured this story, overwhelming majority of local men in my country called the men in video animals, basically disapproving of their behaviour. Whereas you go youtube and so many western men are saying this behaviour should be okay.

But with local men, if a woman got raped or molested, the first thing they always ask is how was she dressed, and they do often believe without a doubt that the dressing plays a major part. So they got their backwards parts too. But they are all in universal agreement that cat calling is unacceptable or basically any of those objectifying comments in the video are not civilized behaviour.

Really cultural difference huh?
<snip>
quote:

But I really don't understand the western men who will not indulge in such behaviour themselves, would support the behaviour saying we're over-reacting. They gotta know on some level it's not okay, if they don't indulge in it themselves, but they just won't admit it that it's not acceptable.

I've noticed a wide range of opinion among men. Even in this thread, not all men seem to be of one like mind on this issue (or any other issue for that matter). I've also noticed that a lot of men are not necessarily saying that it's acceptable or that it's no big deal, but merely pointing out that it could be much worse than what we see in the video (as one poster noted that E. St. Louis or Detroit would be far worse than what we saw in NYC). A lot of women seem to be saying that it actually does get worse than what we see in the video, although a lot of men who seem to be trivializing this may not be seeing that connection.

Zonie, I'm not saying that you're like this, but just going by the way most men of all ages talk amongst themselves, I long ago concluded that the link between the sexual objectification of women and men's laissez-faire attitudes toward it is because:

1. There are men who think that women are essentially like them, anatomical differences aside. That we think alike, that we are soft-wired the same. This is the "sameness" fallacy of Equal Rights which has corroded feminist thought on a philosophical level with which many militant feminists and so-called egalitarians have carried the ball. We are all of equal value as individuals. We are all not the same, however. A Dominant is not the same as a submissive; a submissive is not the same as a Dominant. Yet we still have equal value and intrinsic worth (or should).
2. Ergo men think women want to be treated the same way that they themselves want to be treated. There isn't a man I've ever met who doesn't want to be sexually objectified. It's just a matter of by whom. This is why many men don't see anything wrong with stalking. They would love to have a desirable woman, who is not mentally unstable of course, stalking or pursuing them.
3. So even those men who wouldn't engage in these non-consensual behaviors themselves, are often not quick to condemn other men who do. The problem with vanilla conduct between the sexes is that the vanilla world does not automatically acknowledge the right to consensuality between persons without raising awareness. I know of kinksters who are still ignorant about consensual BDSM, those who have no regard for basic D/s protocols.
4. Which goes to show that this egalitarian crap is just a bag of hot air and has no actual substance to it. It's a way for those men to justify *getting theirs* and for getting away with socially unacceptable behavior.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zonie63

As for addressing the subject of how a woman dresses, that's always a can of worms. Strictly speaking, the view that it shouldn't matter is one that holds prevalence. Citizens in a free society have every right to dress as they choose and no one has any right to attack or harass anyone else based on that or any other pretext.

Again, the disconnect and cognitive dissonance between what we've been told is acceptable to say in public in mixed company, and what is actually believed within, or what we understand about how some males behave toward females whom they perceive as being *open game*. Yes, many people still believe that a woman who dresses provocatively, exposes parts of her body, or wears tight-fitting clothing, invites not only unwanted male attention, but is "asking for it."

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zonie63

I remember when I was over at a friend's house, and his 15-year-old niece was about to go to the mall with her friends. She was wearing a very, very short skirt, and her uncle told her to wear something else. I wouldn't say that they got into an argument over it, but she was clearly not happy about it and genuinely could not understand why she had to wear something different to go out to the mall. Some might view his attitude as sexist and chauvinistic, although from his point of view, he might have seen it as more protective. If, as you say, a man's duty is to protect women, then he would see it as his interpretation of carrying out that duty. Sometimes, there's a thin line between being protective and oppressive, and that's the dilemma faced by many men in this society.

I don't have a daughter, but if I did, you can bet I'd be hovering over her like a she-hawk. That girl wouldn't be allowed to go anywhere unchaperoned.
As for parental protectiveness, I have heard out of his own mouth, a so-called liberal progressive who has the loosest sexual morals of any man older than me I have ever met, say that it is a girl's parents' duty to make sure she doesn't leave the house WITH THEM ON A FAMILY OUTING without wearing a blouse which could expose anything when she bends over. That it is their fault for not teaching their underage daughter to keep covered up so as not to entice adult male predators. Because apparently, men have a free pass to act badly and inappropriately to females and shouldn't be held accountable for their natural urges. A Rape Culture Re-Invented.

[Edited for missing word]

< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 11/6/2014 10:21:20 AM >


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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/6/2014 9:45:11 AM   
ExiledTyrant


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Fiery,

I've always said men and women are separate species with the freakish ability to breed.

Jus sayin

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/6/2014 9:53:33 AM   
Greta75


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If I had a daughter, I would simply teach her that, she should have the right to wear whatever she wants, but many men out there are idiots and cannot control themselves when they see scantily clad women and she may get attention she may not appreciate receiving. So the problem is, that part is totally beyond her control. So she can choose whether to risk meeting such idiots or not and hope that there aren't too many of them out there. I wouldn't stop her from not covering up. But I think she would make the right choice on her own and be wise about it if I put it that way.
I also realise that the most perverted minded men are usually the most obsessively protective dads because they are thinking every man thinks what he thinks if he saw a woman on the street looking like that.

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/6/2014 10:14:12 AM   
FieryOpal


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Fiery,

I've always said men and women are separate species with the freakish ability to breed.

Jus sayin

Ain't that the truth. It is like women are from Venus and men are from Mars. We speak different love languages.

(Btw, remember that porno dude who kept getting that mixed up and saying that women are from Mars? Despite getting corrected on the title of that popular book.
I swear I wanted to smack him upside the head.)

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There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/6/2014 10:15:58 AM   
GoddessManko


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quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Zonie, I'm not saying that you're like this, but just going by the way most men of all ages talk amongst themselves, I long ago concluded that the link between the sexual objectification of women and men's laissez-faire attitudes toward it is because:

1. There are men who think that women are essentially like them, anatomical differences aside. That we think alike, that we are soft-wired the same. This is the "sameness" fallacy of Equal Rights which has corroded feminist thought on a philosophical level with which many militant feminists and so-called egalitarians have carried the ball. We are all of equal value as individuals. We are all not the same, however. A Dominant is not the same as a submissive; a submissive is not the same as a Dominant. Yet we still have equal value and worth (or should).

I disagree to an extent. There are various ways a human being can develop. Someone on another thread said "four fundamentals for compatibility". But let's use this to say four fundamentals for human development.
1; PHysically. - This is the most visually influential part of making an impression in a social setting. But physical wellness and development also influences quality of life, longevity for the most part, as well as health to the degree that we can control. Let's in this exercise use two individuals. A woman is operating at 95% efficiency in this area, a man at 10%. Now yes, the man has denser bones, bigger muscles and testosterone which give him an obvious and very tangible advantage over the woman should he be operating at the same efficiency but he is not, ergo they are not equivalent. There are subsets of this, including libido, sexual health, speed, stamina, strength and endurance. We all have variations of those above. Weight lifting focuses on aesthetics but a full figured individual can still possibly outperformed a chiseled person in every area BUT strength, ergo they are more well rounded and efficient.
2; Mentally - This is usually the second most important impression a person can make on another (emotionally might be on equal footing), but this has one singular subset which is academia. It allows you to learn, the higher your IQ, the higher your learning proficiency, but let's say someone with a IQ of 90 isat 100% efficiency, not only with learning but with using that knowledge in ways that is beneficial to themselves and others. While another with an IQ of 130 (going into another category) lacks the ability to communicate ideas, utilize their thoughts and learning or make any valid contributions to their own personal lives or society at large. Their operative ability is 10%. This would be very low especially if they lack emotional development which goes hand in hand with mental development and would rather self pity than think of ways to overcome obstacles. The person at 90 may have odds stacked against him if the latter was as efficient as him but they're not. Also in some cases, it is a medical hurdle the savant cannot help like autism. Many austistic individuals have genius IQ but are fetal in their social capacity due to no fault of their own.
3; Emotionally- For myself this is a constant struggle. When you have daily frustrations in the inefficiency of oneself and others, emotions can be hard to keep in check. This is why weakness in itself is my weakness. I loathe it but yet I try to understand it and exercise patience. This comes with being self aware. No one always has their emotions in check, but having self awareness of one's shortcomings in the defining point in becoming better or having a higher EQ. I am sure my IQ outweighs my EQ, which is why acknowledging trials and difficulty are just as important and GOOD for me as triumph and success, helps me further develop my EQ and lead a happier existence.
Someone might see one who sees the world through rose colored glasses as naive, I would label them as having a higher EQ than most. This is the area where many, many less intelligent people grow to success. They understand the art of networking and socializing and marketability and use it well. Someone with those abilities can be a trailblazer while someone else of higher intellect can constantly self sabotage either through action or inaction or the action or inaction of OTHERS.
4; Spiritually- I believe this is the least acknowledged but possibly most important factor in human development. For a long time as a child, all I cared about were good grades, winning, being the best. I never really cared for global issues or even the person sitting next to me in class. I believe moving to the US helped increase my social awareness greatly, and through that, most of my learning took place outside of the classroom. I thought credentials were a testament to my intellect but now I realize there are those far better, more intelligent than myself who simply never had the opportunity to prove it, and therefore I am humbled.
I can still eb a smart ass due to my impatience with others, that may always be a constant struggle for me, but I try my best to improve those 4 areas of my life to be the best version of myself. Spirituality also has many subsets of religion but those are all tools like weights are to the physical, You can actually build your body/self with it, or destroy it. It all depends on how a person chooses to use it.
That being said, no, someone with less who does more is not on equal footing or equal to someone who has everything yet does nothing.
quote:


2. Ergo men think women want to be treated the same way that they themselves want to be treated. There isn't a man I've ever met who doesn't want to be sexually objectified. It's just a matter of by whom. This is why many men don't see anything wrong with stalking. They would love to have a desirable woman, who is not mentally unstable of course, stalking or pursuing them.

Some men should acknowledge some women are simply more capable than them. Some of us do things better. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Gender has no bearing on it.
quote:

3. So even those men who wouldn't engage in these non-consensual behaviors themselves, are often not quick to condemn other men who do. The problem with vanilla conduct between the sexes is that the vanilla world does not automatically acknowledge the right to consensuality between persons without raising awareness. I know of kinksters who are still ignorant about consensual BDSM, those who have no regard for basic D/s protocols.
4. Which goes to show that this egalitarian crap is just a bag of hot air and has no actual substance to it. It's a way for those men to justify *getting theirs* and for getting away with social unacceptable behavior.

Agreed.
quote:


Again, the disconnect and cognitive dissonance between what we've been told is acceptable to say in public in mixed company, and what is actually believed within, or what we understand about how some males behave toward females whom they perceive as being *open game*. Yes, many people still believe that a woman who dresses provocatively, exposes parts of her body, or wears tight-fitting clothing, invites not only unwanted male attention, but is "asking for it."

This kind of thinking is dangerous and makes lame excuses for dangerous acts, to that I say, "Be less of a pussy."

quote:


I don't have a daughter, but if I did, you can bet I'd be hovering over her like a she-hawk. That girl wouldn't be allowed to go anywhere unchaperoned.
As for parental protectiveness, I have heard out of his own mouth, a so-called liberal progressive who has the loosest sexual morals of any man older than me I have ever met, say that it is a girl's parents' duty to make sure she doesn't leave the house WITH THEM ON A FAMILY OUTING without wearing a blouse which could expose anything when she bends over. That it is their fault for not teaching their underage daughter to keep covered up so as not to entice adult male predators. Because apparently, men have a free pass to act badly and inappropriately to females and shouldn't be held accountable for their natural urges. A Rape Culture Re-Invented.


The 11 year old in my family (soon to be 12) is a black belt in tae kwon do. She can disarm a man and get out of any "holding" position and also knows how to break wood with various parts of her body and use all the weapons. It is always an option. I like the idea of tasing someone til he pisses himself personally.


< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 11/6/2014 10:19:26 AM >


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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/6/2014 10:19:03 AM   
ExiledTyrant


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quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal


quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Fiery,

I've always said men and women are separate species with the freakish ability to breed.

Jus sayin

Ain't that the truth. It is like women are from Venus and men are from Mars. We speak different love languages.

(Btw, remember that porno dude who kept getting that mixed up and saying that women are from Mars? Despite getting corrected on the title of that popular book.
I swear I wanted to smack him upside the head.)


LOL> yep, men are from mars and women are from venus, we wants tha pussy an they wants tha penis.

I am more of a chick though, I tend to feel my way through things rather than think my way around them. Sometimes my head does get in the way of it and I over think things too much.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to FieryOpal)
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