RE: Perception of Gender roles in the mind of the dominant? (Sissification)

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RE: Perception of Gender roles in the mind of the domin... - 12/19/2014 6:14:16 AM

PeonForHer

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quote:

I'm not under the illusion that I'm as physically strong as a man. Its my mind that matters and not my physical strength ;)

Even if his physical strength does present a bit of a barrier to the D/s buzz, it's easily dealt with - by means of incapacitating him physically in some way - isn't it?

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RE: Perception of Gender roles in the mind of the domin... - 12/19/2014 7:34:28 AM

MariaB

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Even if his physical strength does present a bit of a barrier to the D/s buzz, it's easily dealt with - by means of incapacitating him physically in some way - isn't it?

Yes of course and I have to say, tying a guy up (keep in mind he has to be complaint to be tied up) is something I'm good at. I've admitted to this before and a lot of people on here called me out on it, but I'll say it again...I had two occasions of tying Steve up and provoking him to the point of him losing his temper. He's such a wuss sometimes but he's so easily coerced into a corner and I'm such a bitch sometimes, I can't help but push those buttons of his. On one occasion he was swinging from the rafters of a club like a pendulum and shouting, "I'm going to fu-king kill you". I'm thinking, as long as he's got his trousers round his ankles, even if he does escape, the chances are, I can run fast enough to get away. Instead I brought him to his knees, waited for him to calm down before releasing him. The other time was out in the woods where we were camping miles from anywhere. I swear to you he was shaking with anger and I'm thinking, this is really serious. It took 3 buckets of cold water to calm him down.

I'm not a one trick pony though and so I don't want my submissive permanently shackled and when I do untie him, I want him to feel calm or at least have calmed down. Whilst for some, submission can only come from being shackled, I enjoy the subservience of a person without binds.

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RE: Perception of Gender roles in the mind of the domin... - 12/19/2014 8:14:20 AM

NookieNotes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

I'm not under the illusion that I'm as physically strong as a man. Its my mind that matters and not my physical strength ;)

Even if his physical strength does present a bit of a barrier to the D/s buzz, it's easily dealt with - by means of incapacitating him physically in some way - isn't it?

As MariaB says, that is true.

However, I would do this for fun, only. If I do not know I can trust a person to enjoy/take/do as I say/what I want without binding or physical coercion, I would not be interested in playing.

Submission is my thing, not bottoming.

He/she submits out of desire to please me, not out of any sort of force or punishment, or he/she leaves. One good reason I don't deal with brats.

The size dynamic is MORE fun knowing that I all have to do is give a signal, and he/she is dropped to the floor on all fours in IP (Inspection Position) for me, and instantly into a submissive mindset. One reason I prefer very masculine subs who are physically taller and stronger than I am.

YMMV.

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RE: Perception of Gender roles in the mind of the domin... - 12/19/2014 8:55:22 AM

MariaB

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

The size dynamic is MORE fun knowing that I all have to do is give a signal, and he/she is dropped to the floor on all fours in IP (Inspection Position) for me, and instantly into a submissive mindset. One reason I prefer very masculine subs who are physically taller and stronger than I am.

YMMV.

I know a good few Dommes who like big guys for this reason. Personally I don't like really big men, not because they intimidate me, they don't, but because I don't find them attractive. That comes from my ex husband being a champion power lifter and having a body like a brick shit house and a neck that would make any womans thighs look skinny. He was wonderfully submissive but it always felt like he wanted to compensate that by proving the the rest of the world that he was big, tough and strong.

I find CD's, especially those who can be open about it, even if that's only within a small group, don't feel the need to compensate who they are. I also know that any man, no matter how big or small could deck most women with the sweep of an arm unless of course that woman happened to be a martial arts black belt. I don't go for slim shortish men because I believe I can physically overpower them or believe they can't physically overpower me; I go for that type because I simply find them more attractive to the eye.

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RE: Perception of Gender roles in the mind of the domin... - 12/19/2014 9:03:29 AM

NookieNotes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

The size dynamic is MORE fun knowing that I all have to do is give a signal, and he/she is dropped to the floor on all fours in IP (Inspection Position) for me, and instantly into a submissive mindset. One reason I prefer very masculine subs who are physically taller and stronger than I am.

YMMV.

I know a good few Dommes who like big guys for this reason. Personally I don't like really big men, not because they intimidate me, they don't, but because I don't find them attractive. That comes from my ex husband being a champion power lifter and having a body like a brick shit house and a neck that would make any womans thighs look skinny. He was wonderfully submissive but it always felt like he wanted to compensate that by proving the the rest of the world that he was big, tough and strong.

Well, I'm more into men who are larger, physically, but not necessarily extreme. I usually don't find really large men attractive, either, unless their personalities are super-sparkly.

quote:

I find CD's, especially those who can be open about it, even if that's only within a small group, don't feel the need to compensate who they are. I also know that any man, no matter how big or small could deck most women with the sweep of an arm unless of course that woman happened to be a martial arts black belt. I don't go for slim shortish men because I believe I can physically overpower them or believe they can't physically overpower me; I go for that type because I simply find them more attractive to the eye.

*nods* And I get that. My gay friend calls the short men, "pocket rockets." LOL!

I know women who ONLY like the shy, retiring types. Or only the overweight, feeling worthless types.

I love that there is so much variety. And people to love them.

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RE: Perception of Gender roles in the mind of the domin... - 12/19/2014 9:06:34 AM

GoddessManko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

The size dynamic is MORE fun knowing that I all have to do is give a signal, and he/she is dropped to the floor on all fours in IP (Inspection Position) for me, and instantly into a submissive mindset. One reason I prefer very masculine subs who are physically taller and stronger than I am.

YMMV.

I know a good few Dommes who like big guys for this reason. Personally I don't like really big men, not because they intimidate me, they don't, but because I don't find them attractive. That comes from my ex husband being a champion power lifter and having a body like a brick shit house and a neck that would make any womans thighs look skinny. He was wonderfully submissive but it always felt like he wanted to compensate that by proving the the rest of the world that he was big, tough and strong.

I find CD's, especially those who can be open about it, even if that's only within a small group, don't feel the need to compensate who they are. I also know that any man, no matter how big or small could deck most women with the sweep of an arm unless of course that woman happened to be a martial arts black belt. I don't go for slim shortish men because I believe I can physically overpower them or believe they can't physically overpower me; I go for that type because I simply find them more attractive to the eye.

I agree with you both, though admittedly for some activities I enjoy, they are very physical which is why I like keeping my body in peak condition among other things. I use a lot of physical force at times. He would have to get used to my strength, I play rough and this is why I don't go full throttle right away, the build up is fun too. I also like more physically fit men who can keep up with me, it is kind of a big deal for me now it seems. It wasn't before. I am a lot stronger than I was even last year though I am "smaller" due to lack of testosterone.

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RE: Perception of Gender roles in the mind of the domin... - 12/19/2014 11:21:54 AM

MariaB

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

I agree with you both, though admittedly for some activities I enjoy, they are very physical which is why I like keeping my body in peak condition among other things. I use a lot of physical force at times. He would have to get used to my strength, I play rough and this is why I don't go full throttle right away, the build up is fun too. I also like more physically fit men who can keep up with me, it is kind of a big deal for me now it seems. It wasn't before. I am a lot stronger than I was even last year though I am "smaller" due to lack of testosterone.

Years of professionally riding horses have made my thighs so strong I could crack a guys head with them like a nut or so I've been told. Years of kick boxing helps considerably when it comes to flooring a man and high wall climbing gives you muscles in your fingers as well as your arms and torso.

It was only up until about five years ago that I suddenly realized that every man I'd scened with; every man I had got rough with and every man who had reciprocated that roughness with me, were allowing me to win. I even believed back then that my now ex champion power lifter husband likely couldn't beat me in a fight and never considered for a moment that this gentle giant of a man played about as roughly with me as he would a five year old kid.

I've had some really rough play fights and in my past I've had some very real fights. I don't hold back with a guy but from something that happened to me five years ago, I now fully understand that they do hold back on me, even in real fights.

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RE: Perception of Gender roles in the mind of the domin... - 12/19/2014 11:44:25 AM

GoddessManko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
Years of professionally riding horses have made my thighs so strong I could crack a guys head with them like a nut or so I've been told. Years of kick boxing helps considerably when it comes to flooring a man and high wall climbing gives you muscles in your fingers as well as your arms and torso.

It was only up until about five years ago that I suddenly realized that every man I'd scened with; every man I had got rough with and every man who had reciprocated that roughness with me, were allowing me to win. I even believed back then that my now ex champion power lifter husband likely couldn't beat me in a fight and never considered for a moment that this gentle giant of a man played about as roughly with me as he would a five year old kid.

I've had some really rough play fights and in my past I've had some very real fights. I don't hold back with a guy but from something that happened to me five years ago, I now fully understand that they do hold back on me, even in real fights.

Agreed. I have had my nose broken 3 times. I definitely have had my share of fights when I was younger and very pierced. If a man was into physical fitness as much as the guys in my gym then yea, they probably could take me down full force. Three times larger than me, yes. I do understand realistic physical limitations. I workout mostly with men.
I do keep up with them and have been told I'm one of the few that can but as strong as my legs are that I can legpress a 250 lb man with one of them, I still curl about 25 lbs, maybe 30 max on each arm while a lot of guys can do about 70 lbs. So I definitely don't kid myself in that regard. However I still have agility, flexibility, stamina and endurance on my side so if they can keep up with me in an obstacle course, hike, run or even in the gym they have to be relatively fit in a well rounded sense. No one who isn't fit, man or woman can take me down easily. Tae kwon do is all about defensive training as well and getting out of "holds". The 12 year old black belt in my family tends to ask people to grab her wrist hard so she can show off some of her defensive moves. I told a guy once, (who had almost no muscle tone) that I felt like I could easily crush his hand. It felt that fragile beneath my grasp. Another guy bigger than me thought he could subdue me until I slammed him down and used my strength to keep him there and his arms eventually went limp. They can have that spurt of strength but without the right training they "exhaust their energy". So it's all very relative. You're right. But I don't want to break anyone finding out, LOL.

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RE: Perception of Gender roles in the mind of the domin... - 12/19/2014 12:00:12 PM

DaddySatyr

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

Years of professionally riding horses have made my thighs so strong I could crack a guys head with them like a nut or so I've been told.

Challenge: Accepted! It's going to be legend ... wait for it ...

Michael

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RE: Perception of Gender roles in the mind of the domin... - 12/19/2014 1:31:08 PM

MariaB

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

Years of professionally riding horses have made my thighs so strong I could crack a guys head with them like a nut or so I've been told.

Challenge: Accepted! It's going to be legend ... wait for it ...

Michael

laughs! We could take bets but keep in mind, you may end up with a very long head and a flat face

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RE: Perception of Gender roles in the mind of the domin... - 12/19/2014 2:16:24 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

I swear to you he was shaking with anger and I'm thinking, this is really serious. It took 3 buckets of cold water to calm him down.

I don't know why but that had me bursting out laughing.

You know, I've heard that, sometimes, you can calm people down by reasoning with them, placating them with apologies and smiles and stuff. Still, next time someone's angry with me (say, during a road-rage incident), I shall have three buckets of cold water on hand to help him restore his equanimity.

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RE: Perception of Gender roles in the mind of the domin... - 12/19/2014 2:20:02 PM

PeonForHer

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He/she submits out of desire to please me, not out of any sort of force or punishment, or he/she leaves. One good reason I don't deal with brats.

I think that's a pretty common view amongst femdoms (perhaps Doms, too). It goes to the basic point of consent, of course.

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RE: Perception of Gender roles in the mind of the domin... - 12/19/2014 2:23:09 PM

PeonForHer

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Years of professionally riding horses have made my thighs so strong I could crack a guys head with them like a nut or so I've been told.

TBH, I don't think that's possible, Maria, sadly. It was just a fantasy amongst many men fanned into life by that evil Russian assassin woman in one of the Bond films. Skulls are quite hard - even Englishmen's skulls.

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RE: Perception of Gender roles in the mind of the domin... - 12/19/2014 2:30:18 PM

PeonForHer

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Yes of course and I have to say, tying a guy up (keep in mind he has to be complaint to be tied up) is something I'm good at.

Thumb cuffs. I've concluded that every femdom should carry a pair. Do the job quickly and efficiently, but small and neat enough to be carried in the pocket. I like thumb cuffs. Yes. Thumb cuffs get my thumbs up. The quintessentially 'ladylike' way of restraining a man. Bonzer.

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RE: Perception of Gender roles in the mind of the domin... - 12/19/2014 2:42:00 PM

MariaB

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Yes but they have to offer up their thumbs for you to get the things on. Better things come to mind regarding quick restraints to an unsuspecting man but if I spoke about them here I might get frowned upon and that would never do! What I will say is, women have to be sneaky and take a man by surprise and render him helpless. I guess its much easier to just have his cooperation.

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RE: Perception of Gender roles in the mind of the domin... - 12/19/2014 2:44:09 PM

NookieNotes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

He/she submits out of desire to please me, not out of any sort of force or punishment, or he/she leaves. One good reason I don't deal with brats.

I think that's a pretty common view amongst femdoms (perhaps Doms, too). It goes to the basic point of consent, of course.

I'm not sure I agree. At least not from what I witness. Many LOVE brats, and encourage them with "punishments" for acting out, etc.

While I think that many would claim this in theory, in practical practice, I think many do think (in and out of D/s relationships) that they can FORCE change or behavior, in one way or another.

You see it on these boards a lot, "What can I do to make..."

Yeah.

*shrugs*

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RE: Perception of Gender roles in the mind of the domin... - 12/19/2014 2:44:11 PM

MariaB

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

Years of professionally riding horses have made my thighs so strong I could crack a guys head with them like a nut or so I've been told.

TBH, I don't think that's possible, Maria, sadly. It was just a fantasy amongst many men fanned into life by that evil Russian assassin woman in one of the Bond films. Skulls are quite hard - even Englishmen's skulls.

No it is possible. If you saw Steve you would honest to god call him "pancake head"

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RE: Perception of Gender roles in the mind of the domin... - 12/19/2014 2:53:58 PM

PeonForHer

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Yes but they have to offer up their thumbs for you to get the things on. Better things come to mind regarding quick restraints to an unsuspecting man but if I spoke about them here I might get frowned upon and that would never do! What I will say is, women have to be sneaky and take a man by surprise and render him helpless. I guess its much easier to just have his cooperation.

I know, I know .... Look, Maria, I'm English. I don't care - or, maybe, I want to work at not caring. I think I'd say to the Woman of Dreams: "Be sneaky. I consent to your playing around with my consent". Anyway, I don't frown a lot because I read in my ex's Marie Clares that it ages the skin.

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RE: Perception of Gender roles in the mind of the domin... - 12/19/2014 3:01:43 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

'm not sure I agree. At least not from what I witness. Many LOVE brats, and encourage them with "punishments" for acting out, etc.

While I think that many would claim this in theory, in practical practice, I think many do think (in and out of D/s relationships) that they can FORCE change or behavior, in one way or another.

You see it on these boards a lot, "What can I do to make..."

Yeah.

*shrugs*

Really? I must admit, that's not been my take on it. Though, thinking about it, it's possible that I've assumed that the general consensus is that of the most outspoken of the femdoms here.

On the other hand, I do understand a certain good, though perhaps not very conscious, reason for femdoms to take a shine to brats. Brats 'play' with femdoms and, in so doing, maybe make them feel as though it's all lot more light hearted and human.

It must be pretty damned awful, I'd have thought, for a woman to feel as though she just must 'live' up there on that pedestal - legs always shaven, never having a period, never having a bad hair day, never needing to get down to use the toilet ... quite grim, really. I'd hate for a partner to feel that way. I'd like her to know that she can get off the pedestal and fart when she needs to.

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RE: Perception of Gender roles in the mind of the domin... - 12/19/2014 3:03:41 PM

GoddessManko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
I think that's a pretty common view amongst femdoms (perhaps Doms, too). It goes to the basic point of consent, of course.

It certainly is for me. I don't deal with brats either. My boys are good enough to anticipate my desires, even if eventually. A frail man would have almost zero chance of topping me, ever was the entire point of what I was saying. Women, it matters not where they land on the spectrum, as long as we connect and "like" each other.
Also I like my boys to break outside of the familiar. Exploration together is fun for me.
The physical things I was referring to are suspension and handheld devices etc. One fucking machine is the equivalent of a handheld jack hammer, things of that nature. I don't want something like "strength" to be a limitation in such regard. And the boy I pinned in fairness thought he was trying to wrestle playfully until I noticed a sudden surge in his strength and reciprocated. Not a sub.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
No it is possible. If you saw Steve you would honest to god call him "pancake head"

LOL!!!!!

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 12/19/2014 3:37:46 PM >

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