quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillsurrnder

I was talking to a Dom and He decided He wanted to meet me for dinner. i had agreed to meet with the condition that i do not get sexual on a first meet. When i put this condition on meeting, He changed from dinner to having a drink. He told me that in order to meet, He had to have full control over everything including whether or not there would be sex. i told Him that i could not agree to that. i am single and new to this and i am not here to be used by every Dom i meet for the first time and that is why i have this rule for myself. He told me that He doesn't think i am submissive because i have this rule in place to protect myself from being taken advantage of. He told me that i was trying to be in control. i was told by a friend that happens to be a Dom, i should have this rule in place. So, my question is...as long as i am not taken...do i have the right to say no sex at a first meet?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

ST, Sin (and others) you're right and I was wrong. I had time to think about it and maybe it's time to do away with these sections. There are times when questions really CAN only be answered by _________ as they are the only ones who could possibly know but there are also a lot of questions which could be answered by anyone. The one exception perhaps is the Gorean Board which is separate from BDSM. I think it more productive if the person who is asking the question specify if they only want one perspective.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

That's really it, isn't it -- everyone thinks they know better than everyone else.

My doctor doesn't give me legal advice. My lawyer doesn't give me medical advice.

My musician friends don't tell me how to write. My writer friends don't tell me how to perform.

Knowing one doesn't have all the answers is key to any kind of real wisdom. Respecting the wishes and requests of others is key to any kind of real maturity.

That's really the issue. Separate sections, group sections, clear OP requests -- none of it really matters, as long as the above is true. Sometimes, that's just the nature of interacting with others.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SinFix

Lol.. well damn it, why didn't I get the memo? I never get the memo

Though our endearing Arty, loves to point out the fact that subs shouldn't post here given the name, has no problem being hypocritical and posting in ask a sub.. which begs the question.. Is he a switch hitter?


Edit cause of the sadistic bastard that created auto fill and auto correct..

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kittenluv954

a woman always has the right to say no. on the first date, the second, and even the tenth. she can say no forever if she wants. for a man (Dom or not) to disregard that is still considered rape.

This reply is for the OP, still getting the hang of this forum.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SinFix

Yes, but she did not say that upfront.. only after she got responses from subs

quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

quote:

ORIGINAL: SinFix

LOL.. I know I skipped that class, I instead went to the seduce tyrants class, much more fun and entertaining... But to stay somewhat on topic here, OP came onto this forum to pose a question to "masters", got answers from all types though resented the fact she got answers from fellow submissives. In all fairness, is that hazing? giving the name of the forum, should submissives keep their perspectives to themselves even though it could be very beneficial to newbies? The majority of newbs that come here, have that "cluelessness" about them of one true wayism, and would it benefit these forums to either "rename" them or keep status quo that has "regulars" appearing to haze and drive off the newcomers?

In this case her choice. She even said if she wanted our perspective she would have asked for it. Clear enough. I think if more than one perspective is wanted it'll be asked in the general forum.

quote:

ORIGINAL: UnholyBear

quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

quote:

ORIGINAL: SinFix

LOL.. I know I skipped that class, I instead went to the seduce tyrants class, much more fun and entertaining... But to stay somewhat on topic here, OP came onto this forum to pose a question to "masters", got answers from all types though resented the fact she got answers from fellow submissives. In all fairness, is that hazing? giving the name of the forum, should submissives keep their perspectives to themselves even though it could be very beneficial to newbies? The majority of newbs that come here, have that "cluelessness" about them of one true wayism, and would it benefit these forums to either "rename" them or keep status quo that has "regulars" appearing to haze and drive off the newcomers?

In this case her choice. She even said if she wanted our perspective she would have asked for it. Clear enough. I think if more than one perspective is wanted it'll be asked in the general forum.

So then what you are implying is that for people like my self who don't fully identify as dominant or fully as a submissive should keep our damn noses off this section? It's a fact of life that many of us identify as switches and we are able to engage on both sides to the D/s dynamic. That in itself gives us a unique perspective since we have a good idea how of both perspectives.

Frankly to rant, demand or insist that in this section or any other section on this site to be restricted or even implied that it is solely regulated for specific roles is utterly bullshit in my eyes. Yes this section is geared towards dominants thus is this strictly for ones who are legitimately 100% dominant, what about the ones who are still growing into that role? What about switches who are primarily dominant yet also engage in submission? What about people who identify as Primal? etc etc etc. You can clearly see it leads to absolute idiotic to restrict a person based on how they identify in WIITWD

quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

quote:

ORIGINAL: SinFix

Lol.. well damn it, why didn't I get the memo? I never get the memo

Though our endearing Arty, loves to point out the fact that subs shouldn't post here given the name, has no problem being hypocritical and posting in ask a sub.. which begs the question.. Is he a switch hitter?


Edit cause of the sadistic bastard that created auto fill and auto correct..

We've been trying to figure that out since he started hanging out on the Gorean Board trying to convince us he's a Gorean. He's all yours now. Sorry.

quote:

ORIGINAL: UnholyBear

quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveSpark

quote:

ORIGINAL: SinFix

LOL.. I know I skipped that class, I instead went to the seduce tyrants class, much more fun and entertaining... But to stay somewhat on topic here, OP came onto this forum to pose a question to "masters", got answers from all types though resented the fact she got answers from fellow submissives. In all fairness, is that hazing? giving the name of the forum, should submissives keep their perspectives to themselves even though it could be very beneficial to newbies? The majority of newbs that come here, have that "cluelessness" about them of one true wayism, and would it benefit these forums to either "rename" them or keep status quo that has "regulars" appearing to haze and drive off the newcomers?

In this case her choice. She even said if she wanted our perspective she would have asked for it. Clear enough. I think if more than one perspective is wanted it'll be asked in the general forum.

So then what you are implying is that for people like my self who don't fully identify as dominant or fully as a submissive should keep our damn noses off this section? It's a fact of life that many of us identify as switches and we are able to engage on both sides to the D/s dynamic. That in itself gives us a unique perspective since we have a good idea how of both perspectives.

Frankly to rant, demand or insist that in this section or any other section on this site to be restricted or even implied that it is solely regulated for specific roles is utterly bullshit in my eyes. Yes this section is geared towards dominants thus is this strictly for ones who are legitimately 100% dominant, what about the ones who are still growing into that role? What about switches who are primarily dominant yet also engage in submission? What about people who identify as Primal? etc etc etc. You can clearly see it leads to absolute idiotic to restrict a person based on how they identify in WIITWD

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillsurrnder

Try reading the replies, honey.

I posted this to see what Doms had to say...not subs, anyway! If I wanted your opinion I would have posted in ask a sub...

Your opinion can be kept to yourself!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moderator3

LOL

I must say that...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

That's really it, isn't it -- everyone thinks they know better than everyone else.

My doctor doesn't give me legal advice. My lawyer doesn't give me medical advice.

My musician friends don't tell me how to write. My writer friends don't tell me how to perform.

Knowing one doesn't have all the answers is key to any kind of real wisdom. Respecting the wishes and requests of others is key to any kind of real maturity.

That's really the issue. Separate sections, group sections, clear OP requests -- none of it really matters, as long as the above is true. Sometimes, that's just the nature of interacting with others.