How common is it to fall in love with a submissive or Dominant

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> How common is it to fall in love with a submissive or Dominant

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How common is it to fall in love with a submissive or D... - 7/14/2006 4:34:41 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Just thought I'd drop this bomb-shell question I've always wondered about before I go take my daily rest.

I truly am not "pushing" here for or against "loving" someone (what I define as deep, deep caring about another person - others may have other definitions), or "justifications" for either opinion-requirement.

I am (really) purely wondering how common it is for people to love their Dominants/Masters and - or submissives-slaves (or not).

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/14/2006 4:35:26 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

Post #: 1

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 4:39:22 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

The only submissive I've had I also loved. It do happen.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 2

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 4:46:04 AM

subedana

Posts: 100
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline

I think it may be more common than most people think. After all we're dealing with a lot of basic emotional things.
Not to mention just the trust issues, which is the basis for any relationship.

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 3

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 4:50:16 AM

PrincessH

Posts: 9
Joined: 6/16/2005
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline

I believe it is nearly impossible for a sub to not fall for her dominant. I know I have and I have come to expect it... at least on some level.

_____________________________

Princess H
www.DominationNow.com

(in reply to subedana)

Post #: 4

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 4:52:45 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Just thought I'd drop this bomb-shell question I've always wondered about before I go take my daily rest.

I truly am not "pushing" here for or against "loving" someone (what I define as deep, deep caring about another person - others may have other definitions), or "justifications" for either opinion-requirement.

I am (really) purely wondering how common it is for people to love their Dominants/Masters and - or submissives-slaves (or not).

- Susan

Hello SusanofO,

I have *deeply caring* feelings for my Master; I respect and adore him.

I have him *Right up there next to Jesus* as one disgruntled dom-hopeful described it.

The dom-hopeful was correct ..... but my Master earned it; he didn't demand or ask for it and doesn't *need* it.

Regards, agirl

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 5

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 5:10:11 AM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

How common is it for someone to fall in love with another who takes them out for drinks, a bite to eat, and a movie every two weeks? One is invited in for coffee, they have sex, and decide to add sex to there status quo of seeing each other. How common is it for people to fall in love with each other who start out with such simple routines?

The same things apply to people participate in BDSM.
Personaly, I wouldn't want someone calling me there master if they didn't love me.
Untill I hear and or say the L word. We're a kinky play partners who are more S&M and less D&S.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 6

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 5:24:55 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

The only way i've ever been collared has been to someone i loved. For me it is an absolute requirement.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 7

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 5:31:31 AM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I have loved each and every sub that I've had the pleasure of calling Mine. However, I've never been in love with a submissive until My girl came along. I fell in love with her almost immediately.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 8

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 5:36:23 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Thanks for the replies, folks. I cannot sleep (been having trouble w/that lately so I just got up and read the responses so far). I appreciate the answers. I know it sounds like a silly question, but I really want to know. Thank you.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 9

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 5:47:16 AM

MrrPete

Posts: 614
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

I would never collar a woman without loving her. But that's not the question.

I think it's very common.

One of the problems with out language is often we only have one word for something
that has many different facets. We have to add idetifiers: mother's love, brotherly love, plutonic love etc.
Personally, I've never played with anyone that I didn't have some feelings for even if it is just lust. :)

_____________________________

Awrabest,

Mr. Pete

Boycott Citgo

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 10

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 5:51:36 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

My guess is that it is fairly common, too.

Okay. I define "love" as deep, deep caring for another person. I'll delineate that to
describe what I more specifically mean in this instance:

*Hot, erotic sex, as well as more "mellow" sex (that includes, or can include, intercourse), plus (or including) bdsm activity, plus a D/s or M/s relationship, And deep, deep concern and active caring for the partner's welfare.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/14/2006 6:02:13 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to MrrPete)

Post #: 11

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 5:55:10 AM

talibahh

Posts: 389
Joined: 4/9/2006
From: NSW Australia
Status: offline

hello SusanofO,

i don't think it's *silly*... its nice to be reading positive *stuff* and to see that others have the same kind of experiences/feelings etc.

i was going to write a lot here... but i think it's best said simply...

i love my Master

tali

< Message edited by talibahh -- 7/14/2006 5:59:43 AM >

_____________________________

"It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time" ~ Sir Winston Churchill

in giving You my freedom, i gain the freedom to be me ...
~ tali ~

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 12

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 5:58:50 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Thanks for your reply, Tali.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to talibahh)

Post #: 13

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 6:06:26 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I have been inlove and loved all my Dominants except one. Thats because I found out he was a player the first time I met him.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 14

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 6:58:21 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

I would say it happens more often then not. I've had submissives that I didn't love before, it helped me to see their actions for what they were and keeps from drawing out a relationship that should've ended.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 15

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 7:07:40 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Just thought I'd drop this bomb-shell question I've always wondered about before I go take my daily rest.

I truly am not "pushing" here for or against "loving" someone (what I define as deep, deep caring about another person - others may have other definitions), or "justifications" for either opinion-requirement.

I am (really) purely wondering how common it is for people to love their Dominants/Masters and - or submissives-slaves (or not).

- Susan

I think it is probably pretty common, especially if it has become a long-term relationship.

The answers given here by others do a fairly good job of explaining why, especially when taken all together.

When you think of the intricacies of a D/s relationship and the complexity of the feelings engendered within the relationship, it becomes easier to understand.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 16

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 7:12:20 AM

Caretakr

Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

It's to be expected, but we don't all express it the same way.

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 17

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 7:23:35 AM

NyxNymph

Posts: 43
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline

I wouldn't take or give a collar unless on some level I loved the person.. I realized I loved my Man about 2 days before BDSM started filtering in, that was the only way it was going to happen, before I'd drop everything I had to be sure there was mutual love, respect and caring

(in reply to Caretakr)

Post #: 18

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 7:44:19 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I loved my first dominant, and I have already become attached to Sinergy even though we have been seeing each other a couple of months. I do not get excited over a dom that I do not think I could fall for in a big way or see a future with because Ds is a lovestyle to me. People look for differing things in their interactions though.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 19

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 7:46:07 AM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Of course it happens. I'd like it to happen too.
I like the feeling of owning a sub and of protecting and rewarding her as well.
And of course sex and bondage are much better when a sub and a Dominant care about each other deeply!
I believe in love at first sight but most of the time love takes it's own sweet time.
I like reading about all the Doms and subs in here who are committed to each other and in love and I want that for myself too, that's why I'm in this site.
I like cooking for my sub as a way of "caring" for and "protecting" her. I like being able to provide her with a nice place to live for the same reasons.
And I like having her on my arm in public as a way of showing that I own her.
I'm a very good cook too!

(in reply to Caretakr)

Post #: 20

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