RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive or Dominant

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RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 7:50:35 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

I think it's extremely common for people within the community to fall into infatuation. D/s BDSM brings up a lot of emotions and breaks down walls. I think it accounts for the high rate of relationship turnovers within the community.

However love does happen and our group of friends contains mostly long term couples (5 or more years).

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 21

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 7:52:01 AM

LTRsubNW

Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Thanks for the replies, folks. I cannot sleep (been having trouble w/that lately so I just got up and read the responses so far). I appreciate the answers. I know it sounds like a silly question, but I really want to know. Thank you.

- Susan

Susan, my first Domme, I fell madly, deeply, head over heels, insanely in love with. She's a great person, highly intelligent, well respected in the lifestyle community and I'll always have incredible memories of her till I die. She taught me a lot.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 22

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 7:53:17 AM

impishlilhellcat

Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline

I was deeply and madly in love with my last Dominant. He loved me too or so he said. I have to agree that I couldn't serve someone if I didn't envision some sort of future with them

_____________________________

Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book - Unknown

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 23

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 8:11:09 AM

vield

Posts: 354
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Yes we are humans sharing intense physical and emotional experiences, so it certainly is common to find the "L" word applied.

Of course since "love" has so many dozens of meanings and shades of meanings, I suggest that it is important to make sure all parties involved in one's "love" know in detail what the word means to you in your relationship to them.

It is easy to honestly say you love someone, and hear them say they love you honestly, yet both of you feel something very different from what the other feels.

Thus it is very easy to deceive oneself into believing what the other person feels must be the same things you feel.

I think this type of miscommunication breaks up way too many relationships.

Often when you learn that the other really has different feelings, one tries to put blame on the other, loses trust and decides they have been betrayed.

I feel guilt is not a healthy thing, whether given or received.

As always, your mileage may vary.

vield

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 24

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 8:20:11 AM

LadyAlzara

Posts: 38
Joined: 3/31/2005
Status: offline

Falling in love with submissives.....that is the way it is for some of Us. We have made the choice to train you and condition you. We, of course, have feelings for each of you. Is it love? For some of Us, yes, We love dceeply, and passionately. We wish you each only good things, lovely lives.
I do not deal in guilt, except where it heightens the scene. I want to nurture and punish the slaves that I train. I expect them to relish the duality of My nature. To excell at the tasks placed before them. I love them each, differently, as One loves Their children. And sometimes it goes beyond that into a deeper passion for the submissive....sometimes not...

Zara

(in reply to vield)

Post #: 25

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 12:23:18 PM

leakylee

Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline

I loved the dom couple that I had the honor of serving. They had a place in my heart that will never be filled by anyone else. But the truly "in love" head over heels, was my last Master. That man rocked my little bubble. It led me to places that I never thought I was capable of going. The intensity factor is magnified so to speak.

love and light
lee

_____________________________

I am so not right, that I left..

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 26

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 12:25:22 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

I appreciate all of the responses, I really do. Thank you.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to LadyAlzara)

Post #: 27

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 12:35:10 PM

Sunshine119

Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline

amo, Amat, Amamus

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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 28

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 12:50:08 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Is that Latin? What does it mean? Are those different kinds of love? Or does that phrase indicate that love "grows"?
Thanks for replying.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Sunshine119)

Post #: 29

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 1:08:26 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Susan, I think it's conjugating a verb or something.
"I love, you love, we love?"

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 30

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 1:17:46 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Thank you.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 31

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 1:20:02 PM

Caretakr

Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

Interesting perspective about love vs infatution.

I think actual love is much more rare.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 32

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 1:27:15 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Susan, this is a great topic! Thanks for starting this thread.
I'll have more in a couple of hours.
It's nice and hot here and I'm going out to the pool for a dip and to work on my tan.

(in reply to Caretakr)

Post #: 33

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 1:32:11 PM

raiken

Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline

i believe, that when dealing with human emotions, no matter what the individual desires or interests maybe, it is as common as in any other walk of life or lifestyle...human energy connects, bonds, and something happens in the heart. i believe that no one can choose who they fall in love with, (insert own definition here) in other words, when an attraction exists, it just seems to form all on its own...
However, i can DECIDE whether i want to continue with that feeling, foster it and let it grow, or i can DECIDE to cut it off and let it die.

~raiken

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 34

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 2:13:40 PM

NastyDaddy

Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Just thought I'd drop this bomb-shell...

... how common it is for people to love their Dominants/Masters and - or submissives-slaves (or not).

Great question as well as responses... I'm a Dominant and I love myself very dearly or not.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 35

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 3:07:40 PM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

For me, love is a requirement of the relationship, but not one-sided or unrequited love. Love for everybody!

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to NastyDaddy)

Post #: 36

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 3:33:50 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

For me, love is a requirement of the relationship, but not one-sided or unrequited love. Love for everybody!

Wooooooo hoooooooooooooo! ~rubs hands in anticipation~ Bring it on, feastie.

(in reply to feastie)

Post #: 37

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 3:44:12 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Ahhh! Just got in from the pool. Nice warm breeze blowing, reminds me of that Frank Sinatra song, "The Summer Wind!"
Now, don't get that song stuck in your heads!

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 38

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 4:14:38 PM

ScooterTrash

Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

I have always said...kink is nice but it's fairly easy to find. Now finding someone you can share an emotional bond with....that's priceless. In other words Susan...yes. Of course in my case, I get to have those feelings for a Dominant as well as a slave...woo hoo, I get a double helping.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 39

RE: How common is it to fall in love with a submissive ... - 7/14/2006 4:41:29 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

I have yet to see a D/s relationship that didn't incorporate some level of love. That is not to say that it is not possible or doesn't exist...but I have not seen it or even met any that have. So I would say it is very rare situation that love is not part of the D/s dynamics. Now as far as Play goes.... I think it is not uncommon that love is not part of the Play dynamics, particularly with those causual play encounters I have had or seen others do.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 40

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