RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (Full Version)

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Lucylastic -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (7/29/2015 6:30:15 PM)

Im gonna join in with the other ladies in thanking you for your post Need.
such refreshment is lovely.



NeedAWhirlie -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (7/29/2015 6:32:02 PM)

Thank you, MAINEianMISTRESS (such a clever name- I love it).



MAINEiacMISTRESS -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (7/29/2015 6:58:31 PM)

Screw THAT, I'm reading on My teeny little iPhone, scrolling with My fingers. You get two, MAAAAYBE three pages worth of My attention, if you're lucky. LOL


quote:

ORIGINAL: Anchises

Just a tactical question.

When a thread has 16 pages, do newcomers actually read all 16 before posting?

DISCLAIMER: I didn't read all 16 pages - I'm just curious who has that kind of mental fortitude.




Lucylastic -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (7/29/2015 7:10:25 PM)

Yeah , depends on the topic n how i came across it, and how it resonates with me. Sometimes, I just give my thoughts, sometimes i go thru each thread carefully ,especially if its more than my opinion, such as links, sources.



TNDommeK -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (7/29/2015 7:27:31 PM)

I skim, I sometimes read. I did this thread.



RemoteUser -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (7/29/2015 9:57:55 PM)

I think time will be the great justifier for financial domination.

If it is still prevalent five years from now, I suspect it will be sidelined much in the same way Gor was. I remember clearly when Gor first hit the online scene. A lot of people scoffed at it, said it was just playing at BDSM, putting on roles crudely written out by a juvenile delinquent. But Gor stayed on, and in time while it carved its own niche out into the community it was segregated from the mainstream, and still is to this day.

People who want it, will get into it, and people who don't, will avoid it.

The current chaos is mainly over the fact that financial domination is a competitive market, and based on money, so there will always be thousands of young girls fighting over wallets. The reality of needing to advertise for this fetish means that any mainstream forum will be inundated, and the only way to stem that off will be segregation, fair or not. Otherwise, people will find exactly what is going on now: for every few journal pages they scroll through they will be subjected to advertisements for a fetish they do not subscribe to.

I understand reluctance towards segregation. Heck, why not just make a list of choices to pick and choose and let people weed out everything but what they're focused on? Well. There's coding, there's funding, there's time; if you put one group to the side you'll be called on playing foul, if you make a choose-your-own-fetish system to keep the playing board level then you curb natural social functions. If you throw everyone together you'll have others crying foul for not being pandered to.

Nonetheless, I see the segregation coming. Not now. I'll say, three years. Call me on it in 2018, we'll see how things have progressed by then. If the kink doesn't bottom out, sidelining may become the only way to go.



DaddySatyr -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (7/29/2015 10:17:56 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser

I think time will be the great justifier for financial domination.



I know this is just a small amount of what you wrote, but I think it is the main thrust and I disagree, entirely.

You have a portion of the population that has found a way to exploit another portion (and they make money, doing it). I don't see it ending, anytime soon.

I have often said that the nature of BDSM means that we will always have a percentage of misogynists that manage to "blend in" to our community. I absolutely believe the same is true (and even more so and in greater numbers) when it comes to the money leaches.

Why should our community be any different from the rest of society?



Michael



Lucylastic -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (7/30/2015 4:06:51 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

You have a portion of the population that has found a way to exploit another portion (and they make money, doing it). I don't see it ending, anytime soon.

Michael[/color]


DO you mean sex trafficking of children and women into prostitution?
oh nope , sorry, wrong topic.....my bad...., fin dommery is the danger to the men of the world.



TNDommeK -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (7/30/2015 11:29:31 AM)

Slow claps^^



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (7/30/2015 11:51:29 AM)

<tosses lucy and TN some popcorn>

There's a really easy way for men not to be taken advantage of by the big mean fin dommes -- um, don't pay them any money!

The women are here b/c the men DO pay them money. Even though the site tells them not to. Since most of these transactions are online I don't see the huge threat -- no one is forcing them to hand over a credit card.

Now, do I think there are some fraudulent people who try to make a shady buck on here? I do. But they're not findomees. They're criminals.

I don't think findommes or prodommes are criminals (and believe prostitution should be decriminalized here in the US).

If some of the men who have posted here truly believe findommes ARE criminal, then again, don't transact with them. Problem solved.




BitaTruble -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (7/30/2015 1:17:48 PM)

FR

I can see turning over my financial health to someone who is expert but turning over money to someone with a lower credit score than you is the reason that folks say a fool and his money are soon parted. Do fin dommes disclose their credit scores? Just curious but I would bet..no, they for the most part, would not.

ymmv

Ugh..hate one handing it on the iPad.



TNDommeK -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (7/30/2015 1:55:50 PM)

I have a pretty decent credit score but I would not share that with anyone. Not really sure why I wouldn't. I just think that's a private issue. But, I see your point.



NeedAWhirlie -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (7/30/2015 5:47:51 PM)

Right on, Lucylastic! What a perfectly stated point. & ChatteParfait- so true- I peruse FinDomme sites frequently and there are too many pictures of cash and presents and stories from the subs for me to think it fake (which I suspected at first). Those men are doing it willingly and just as lustfully as the 17-year old boy hungrily feeling his date up in the front seat of the car on prom night.

So, BitaTruble- I think you bring up a really important point. For me, ironic as it might seem, if the FinDom or Domme is in obvious need of money, that completely ruins the dynamic. If his or her credit score were poor and he or she were clearly suffering financially, depending on me for money, it turns it from a kink to simple financial support or gift and it's a major sexual turn-off. I don't find that I need a credit score or anything even so direct- it becomes evident in time what the person's situation is to me.


Oh, i missed your other post previously, Lucylastic- thank you very much. I just want to say it's been a shocker - the compliments. Honestly, I thought I was going to be bullied out of the thread, as happens frequently in forums, so it's been nice to be appreciated for the chance I took. It's very humbling and flattering, thank you.



TNDommeK -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (7/30/2015 6:23:47 PM)

Agreed. I think in Roch's old thread we touched on the ability to be able to turn money and tributes down. It's about control.
A few people once said the reason fin dommes endulge in the kink is for money only. I had to disagree, I have money. Of course money is a part of it, but I don't rely on it. I'm real quick to dismiss a slave and his money.



Lucylastic -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (7/30/2015 6:47:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: NeedAWhirlie

Right on, Lucylastic! What a perfectly stated point. & ChatteParfait- so true- I peruse FinDomme sites frequently and there are too many pictures of cash and presents and stories from the subs for me to think it fake (which I suspected at first). Those men are doing it willingly and just as lustfully as the 17-year old boy hungrily feeling his date up in the front seat of the car on prom night.

So, BitaTruble- I think you bring up a really important point. For me, ironic as it might seem, if the FinDom or Domme is in obvious need of money, that completely ruins the dynamic. If his or her credit score were poor and he or she were clearly suffering financially, depending on me for money, it turns it from a kink to simple financial support or gift and it's a major sexual turn-off. I don't find that I need a credit score or anything even so direct- it becomes evident in time what the person's situation is to me.


Oh, i missed your other post previously, Lucylastic- thank you very much. I just want to say it's been a shocker - the compliments. Honestly, I thought I was going to be bullied out of the thread, as happens frequently in forums, so it's been nice to be appreciated for the chance I took. It's very humbling and flattering, thank you.

Hiya:) just calling it as I see it... I hope you stick around..
PS thank you :)



CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (7/30/2015 8:45:06 PM)

quote:

I am a sexual sadist. I can prove my paraphilia really exists and can be found within DSM-5 criteria. So can 106 other fetish paraphilias. However, there is no such fetish, no paraphilia that defines money pigs, financial domination or a FinDom. So for me, I have to ask myself if it's a real life fetish? The answer I came up with was no.


I haven't read this entire thread and probably won't be able to till this weekend (and can't wait to do so, it looks like it's going to be a fun read), but I wanted to respond to this part.

(Am playing Devil's Advocate.)
Do kinksters allow any SDM-whatever define/validate us? Back when they were calling it a mental illness I was calling it good clean fun. And...if they haven't added every person's kink to the list yet of approved paraphilias, eh, give them time and they will eventually catch up. Also, we don't have any workshops in my area. No dungeons. If I required this to validate any of my kinks I'd be out of luck.

No matter how many times I say heck no, guys have tried to hound me into becoming their findomme, and yes, even begging to be "pay piggies" . I've also met up with and talked with guys who explained to me why they wanted someone to "rape their wallet". I'm always curious about what makes other people's boats float.

At first it annoyed the H out of me because their kink wasn't my kink, and yes, I invalidated them because of it and felt like my way was the one twue way. Now I think about it this way: If some people get a hard dick out of setting up a scenario where they can feel "forced" or that their wallet is "being raped"...it may not be MY kink but it's obviously theirs.




ThePrincessKali -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (7/30/2015 9:12:39 PM)

I agree with TN that it is about control. Do I enjoy having someone send me gifts or pay for me to get nice things? Sure. Would I be struggling to get by without them, no I work for a living. I have turned down tributes from submissives. Mainly those who seemed to not have a healthy mindset. There are tons of subs out there who beg to be "bled dry." Aka having all of their money taken and leave them with nothing. 99.9999% of those are lying or fantasizing. I once encountered a man who actually wanted that. I turned him down and suggested he seek a therapist before he became homeless because he gave all of his money to a Fin Domme.

And in regards to Fin Dommes being a threat to men, how exactly do you think I (or any Fin Domme for that matter) would force anyone to give us money online? I have had a ton of submissives ask me to blackmail them or use teamviewer to make purchases from their computers. I don't. I don't want them to change their mine and seek out legal action against me. But there are people out there that want to be forced. So how exactly does that make us criminals? If someone was begging to be spanked and then someone went and spanked them would you feel the same way?



TNDommeK -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (7/31/2015 2:23:07 AM)

pretty much all of that^



MAINEiacMISTRESS -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (7/31/2015 4:42:37 AM)

I do find the barely-of-age, "pay my rent or I'll be evicted" types very annoying. For a woman to be DEPENDENT on the charity of a man really peeves Me off. She NEEDS him, yet portrays herself as "Dominant", and it turns My stomach some men think all Dommes are like this.

A fin Domme should be FINANCIALLY Dominant over Her submissives (have good credit and be able to survive without him paying Her bills). If She MANAGES his money, keeps him paying his bills on time, controls his frivolous spending (and charges a fee for Her time, that's understandable) then he's actually BENEFITTING from it.

I used to think it was all about those young girls trying to find a new daddy to buy them things, but seeing MATURE Dommes with their own separate income yet enjoying having PSYCHOLOGICAL control of a man and ALL aspects of his life, and more and more men are admitting they get a RUSH from the fear and humiliation...I now accept that YES, it IS a fetish or kink just as much as the other control & humiliation fetishes are.



MAINEiacMISTRESS -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (7/31/2015 4:56:05 AM)

There are a TON of guys who beg Me to tie them, naked, to a tree and leave them in the woods over night. Now tell Me, is THIS a fetish? On a personal note I'd have to say, "I've asked Myself whether it is, and the answer is NO." (And by the way, it's downright NOT SAFE with the resident pack of coyotes that howl behind the farm every night, the 500 lb blackbear that tore the neighbors' beehive to smithereens, the bobcat that crossed the road by My mailbox, and the huge cougar I saw in the neighbor's field, all hunting here at night)...yet "outdoor bondage" is indeed a recognized fetish, in fact it's here on the CollarSpace interests list.



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