Wayward5oul
Posts: 3314
Joined: 11/9/2014
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Ok, first, love the username! The whole idea behind that movie is a guilty pleasure/fascination for me.
quote:
ORIGINAL: TylerDurdenJr
Good afternoon Gents or Sirs.
I am not a gent or sir, but I am a woman that interacts with your intended audience every day, from your side of the slash, so if you are open to it, I am willing to offer some insight and advice based on my experiences. If not, feel free to scroll on.
[quoteI was just simply wonder if Masters/Doms ask for or demand tributes and gifts?
I have personally never come across a male dom that required tribute or gift. Not online. Not in person. Nor anywhere in between. Not from men who consider themselves lifestyle doms, nor ones who do it only in the bedroom. Nor anywhere in between.
[quoteI personally am seeking a Mistress. But am obviously having a hard time understanding why the monetary gifting is mandatory.
This is purely a personal observation, after having been among those in the world of bdsm for 3-4years now, so take it with a grain of salt. Five years from now I might answer this very differently. Hell, one year from now I might answer this differently.
But my current impression is that female subs vastly outnumber male doms, and femdommes vastly outnumber male subs. Supply and demand. Male subs must be willing to go a step further in order to attract dommes. And must be willing to prove their seriousness in regards to interaction. With femdommes in such high demand, they have the prerogative of placing a more tangible value on their time than the average male dom. And because people in this world (on both sides of the slash and of both genders) tend to flake out very easily, its not uncommon for a dom/domme to invest time in a sub only to have them disappear into thin air. And I have the impression that that happens ridiculously often with F/m interactions. By requiring gifts/tribute, a male sub shows that they are approaching the interaction with some degree of seriousness.
Secondly, you cannot discount the kink factor-what makes a male feel submissive (as a general rule) probably varies from what makes a female feel submissive. Just as what attracts a dominant woman will vary in some way from what attracts a dominant man. So there is probably going to be some specific differences that can generally be attributed to male doms vs. femdommes.
Lastly-and I am not sure how to express this without also expressing a bias that I observe everywhere in the world of bdsm (and to an extent share)- since there is such a (perceived or otherwise) demand for femdommes, many women have found it lucrative to operate as a means of padding their wallet, rather than as an expression of bdsm. While there are ways to incorporate financial domination into a bdsm dynamic, there are also many women who take advantage of that to benefit themselves. My perception is that the latter far outweighs the former.
Don't misunderstand me-from what I have read on these boards, it is not uncommon for a D/s dynamic to include aspects of financial domination. I personally know people who have M/s relationships that includes a financial factor. In my own mind, I kind of think of the difference in terms of findommes and "finducks"-the latter being far more common and motivated by greed, not bdsm.
[quoteI cant even approach a Domme on here without her asking for a tribute. I guess my problem with the whole thing is that I am not looking for cheap thrills on here. I am looking for a deeper meaningful experience that the vanilla world cannot provide. I am not particularly comfortable talking about my kinks and fetishes with those that are not into the lifestyle
Go to munches, Join your local bdsm group and then join SIGs within your local bdsm group. I like collarspace, but if it were my only means of interaction with others involved in bdsm, I would be so freakin' disillusioned, bitter, and would have so many misunderstandings regarding bdsm that I might as well live in a parallel universe. I consider this site, and others, as another medium in which to interact with those I know in real life, and to also learn from others that I may never meet but who have perspectives which can enhance my own knowledge and experiences.
OK, I have edited this and previewed it a dozen times, and I can't get it to format correctly. I have seen this happen with some other posts, but I thought it was an error on the part of the poster. But the quote:
and just isn't doing its magic! So I resorted to italics. Deal with it. 
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Do male Doms ask for tribute? - 
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