quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

It has been discussed with frequency on these forums: there are a lot of kinky people on POF,

quote:

ORIGINAL: newatdis
It probably doesn't even matter, I get it LadyP. This girl probably wants more in the form of pain than I would feel comfortable giving. I say that and I quickly think, I have always been into pleasing my woman...lol

My real question would be why is she on a dating site like POF. You know that is vanilla, where I found her...wtf.

Since you seem to have a sense of humor about such things, I honestly don't know. I'm not on POF or OKCupid, but I've heard plenty of kinky people talk about their experiences on those sites. It's often enough that I think it's valid. Why not? Kinky people are a certain percentage of the population, so they are even going to be on "vanilla" dating sites.

quote:

ORIGINAL: newatdis
@ Ladypact: I am going to say something very liberating here, I am laughing but keeping it 100% on the real. Kept it a guarded secret for most of my life. When I was in my mid/late teens I did push a toothpick through the outer layer of skin on my (whatever name is appropriate here) to the point where I could do that today. Meaning, it was permanent. Hurt at first, but it felt good so I kept pushing until it went all the way through. I am saying this because I want you to know, I can appreciate the experience of pain and pleasure. Even if I just did it to myself. I also sent "the girl" pics and told her before hand. I knew she was going to see it anyway.

This is about playing with your brain chemistry. It's one of those things that we kinky people toy with. Your body is naturally made to create adrenaline, endorphin flow, electrical impulses to cause certain reactions. Kinky folks manipulate these things and make them work to our advantage.

Now that I think about it some more, I want you to ditch that book that got half a star out of five. There's an amazing book list that is a sticky on the General BDSM discussion board. If you want a real book, go for these titles:

"The Topping Book"

"Screw the Roses (Send Me the Thorns)"

"SM 101"

"The Loving Dominant"

There is so much information in those books that could never be conveyed on a message board. There's so much education to be had in those pages. Somebody like me (or even us) pales in comparison.

This is not to say don't ask questions. You should, and we'll try to answer. That includes the times you might not like the answer.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: newatdis
It probably doesn't even matter, I get it LadyP. This girl probably wants more in the form of pain than I would feel comfortable giving. I say that and I quickly think, I have always been into pleasing my woman...lol

My real question would be why is she on a dating site like POF. You know that is vanilla, where I found her...wtf.

Since you seem to have a sense of humor about such things, I honestly don't know. I'm not on POF or OKCupid, but I've heard plenty of kinky people talk about their experiences on those sites. It's often enough that I think it's valid. Why not? Kinky people are a certain percentage of the population, so they are even going to be on "vanilla" dating sites.

quote:

ORIGINAL: newatdis
@ Ladypact: I am going to say something very liberating here, I am laughing but keeping it 100% on the real. Kept it a guarded secret for most of my life. When I was in my mid/late teens I did push a toothpick through the outer layer of skin on my (whatever name is appropriate here) to the point where I could do that today. Meaning, it was permanent. Hurt at first, but it felt good so I kept pushing until it went all the way through. I am saying this because I want you to know, I can appreciate the experience of pain and pleasure. Even if I just did it to myself. I also sent "the girl" pics and told her before hand. I knew she was going to see it anyway.

This is about playing with your brain chemistry. It's one of those things that we kinky people toy with. Your body is naturally made to create adrenaline, endorphin flow, electrical impulses to cause certain reactions. Kinky folks manipulate these things and make them work to our advantage.

Now that I think about it some more, I want you to ditch that book that got half a star out of five. There's an amazing book list that is a sticky on the General BDSM discussion board. If you want a real book, go for these titles:

"The Topping Book"

"Screw the Roses (Send Me the Thorns)"

"SM 101"

"The Loving Dominant"

There is so much information in those books that could never be conveyed on a message board. There's so much education to be had in those pages. Somebody like me (or even us) pales in comparison.

This is not to say don't ask questions. You should, and we'll try to answer. That includes the times you might not like the answer.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

I actually have parts of his initial story below in blue in his own words for context, because I was showing it to a friend who also is in collarspace but doesn't bother with collarchat. And asking him to guess the age of the person who wrote this!

Sorry newatdis, I cannot believe you are a dad who raised a kid on your own, because, I am just imagining how you would blow up at your kid constantly for questioning you or being mischievous. Saying that you brought up a kid means nothing. I'd love to hear your kid's testimony about what he thinks about you. And how tight your relationship is with your boy would be far better testimony of your character.

I hope this is just an online personality you are pretending to be for laughs, but if this was your real personality. I cannot get over your age and the disconnect of the way you are. And I think that woman dodge a bullet, because, even if she came back, can you stop yourself from over-reacting to some new incident again?

And my biggest pet peeve is seeing older men behave like how an immature teenage person who have not fully evolved in their emotions and dealing with hormones behave.

It sounds like you are a person who will do and say things emotionally as an instant reaction, before you really think about the consequences. Well, you said, you don't want to speak to people who will judge you like they are perfect. And my interpretation of this is that because it makes you lose control of yourself.

I just feel that, one of the most important quality of being a dominant is, that he must have control of himself, before he can have control of others. You got to master yourself first and your temper. I'd still very afraid for that lady under you with this type of instability.
And the thing is, I see LP taking a mother hen role, talking to you in a manner where you won't react childishly. And I see this as a bad sign. But LP is a dominant, she can manage any man if she wants. For me, you're the dominant, you shouldn't need women to manage you to get your calm mature behaviour out. Just saying.


Okay, I didn't want to really get into it because I wasn't sure if anyone would reply or I would be taken seriously. I met a girl online about a month ago. Constant communication between us, about a week before we met she brought up the dom/sub thing. She came to my house Friday night, we met when she arrived in town and immediately wanted to follow me home. Without going into details we had a great night, I know I didn't do everything she wanted, stupidly I asked to do one thing when I already knew what she wanted and of course when I asked, the answer was no. We fall asleep, wake up and she is hungry (I was already considered Master and her slave) I am laughing thinking I will be an embarrassment to the lifestyle but I made her a fukken egg sandwhich. Afterwards, we played outside with my Doberman pinscher. Came back into the house she went out and brought her belongings in from her car. About 20 minutes later she said she got a text from her son (who I knew lived with her) saying the heat in the house wont work, and she had to go home. I was obviously upset and she said to me "after lastnight if I didn't think we made a connection I would feel comfortable to say so"..I told her to do what she had to do (she lives 2.5 hours from me) immediately after she left I noticed all her jewelry still in my bedroom...texted her before she was at the end of my street and her reply was "I'm too upset, I'll get it another time" I am also confused because when we were outback playing with my Doberman she made a comment that "next time I come I bring ..her dog" and everything changed within 15 minutes. So, I did give her a little grief...and the last thing I said was I would give her space to think about things. I am clueless as to wtf just happened. I am no Dom but I realize I have always behaved in certain manners with my ex's. She was my guest, I seen no harm in making her an egg sandwhich, I took complete control in the bedroom...well, amost except one thing. So, what to do now? Was I just her toy, imaginary dom in her head who she had her way with, even got him to make f-ing breakfast. I have no idea....I'm like f-it..but, I am also having a hard time letting it go


Yes, I eventually did have her get on top. Just like I had her walk up the steps first when going to the bedroom. simply because I wanted to watch her ass as she walked up the steps. If she wanted to leave, why talk about bringing her dog back next time (15 minutes earlier) I didn't get too kinky with her, not at all. She brought up anal before we met, I mentioned it and she declined. that was that. Whatever, I f-ing blocked her on messenger, and sent her a text on my cell saying how I feel. She wasn't trying to communicate so fuk it. I'll get over it. I guess she should have gotten someone that knew not to let her get on top...it was only after I had her every other way..wtf...seriously.

Oh, also told her I was deleting her off my cell, which I did. And deleted all her f-ing pics. there will be no more whacking off to them. I have girls chasing me (one just sent me a text asking if she can come over sometime) but, seems like you never want the ones that want you, but the ones that don't. Again, fuk it....I'm not contacting her anymore and I don't expect to hear from her. ALTHOUGH, I do wish I just stfu and didn't say anything and waited to see what she would do. Too late for that. Soon the book (how to train your new sub I ordered on ebay will be here) and I'll learn about this.

quote:

ORIGINAL: newatdis

Edit last post? I wasn't talking to anyone in particular. I didn't quote anyone. If anyone is feeling like that post is directed at them that is beyond my capabilities.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml



Hey newatdis... You've ambled into a bar... lots of different styles and approaches, as you get to know the different personalities you'll discover that a lot of us are sincere... we may come over as cranky sometimes, but it's probably not too late for you to edit your last post in the light of LL's last.

quote:

ORIGINAL: newatdis
You can't even decide if you want to attack me, or TRY to give helpful advice.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cinnamongirl67

Just blow it off. I'm 48 and have had more meltdowns then candle wax.
Good luck.

quote:

ORIGINAL: newatdis

" this girl is not your slave. If you played M/s games for one night"

sucks that I didn't have instructions to the game.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cinnamongirl67

I'm gonna stir this pot until I put a hole in it! Must be my oppositional defiant disorder kicking in.

We all do love to state our opinions don't we?
I really hope you don't leave upset.
Along time ago, I would say 4 to 5 years ago I posted a relationship problem on here and the thread ended up being like 30 pages long lol!!!
Most of it was me fighting with everyone.
I understand your upset right now and that's okay. I have a hair trigger temper too, or did, now I've mellowed a little.
There are a ton of women out there. I'm sure it's frustrating to sift through people's bs. Because yep! A lot of people aren't very honest. I think sometimes it's because they theirselves don't know what they want. Other times it's they are just plain liars.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cinnamongirl67

I'm gonna stir this pot until I put a hole in it! Must be my oppositional defiant disorder kicking in.

We all do love to state our opinions don't we?
I really hope you don't leave upset.
Along time ago, I would say 4 to 5 years ago I posted a relationship problem on here and the thread ended up being like 30 pages long lol!!!
Most of it was me fighting with everyone.
I understand your upset right now and that's okay. I have a hair trigger temper too, or did, now I've mellowed a little.
There are a ton of women out there. I'm sure it's frustrating to sift through people's bs. Because yep! A lot of people aren't very honest. I think sometimes it's because they theirselves don't know what they want. Other times it's they are just plain liars.