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ORIGINAL: Darkfeather
The biggest problem here, is we can't give specifics. On either side. I can't copy and paste an email I have sent out, ya'll just have to take my word for it. The other hand, you (collective, not specific), can't post the rude emails, or the useless emails.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

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ORIGINAL: Darkfeather
The biggest problem here, is we can't give specifics. On either side. I can't copy and paste an email I have sent out, ya'll just have to take my word for it. The other hand, you (collective, not specific), can't post the rude emails, or the useless emails. We are seeing this from two different sides, and neither is able to give common ground. But I can't say, to a guy, having a message that addresses points brought up in a profile, touching similarities in the fetish bucket list, and maybe answering a question or two posed in the journal section, constitutes, to us, taking the time to write a message. Honestly, this doesn't take all that long, you are simply responding to similarities, perceived, between yourself and the recipient. What guys are trying to clarify, is that "effort", reading the profile, finding key points, not sounding like a raving idiot (syntax, spelling, context, etc), to us it feels like work. And yeah, anyone who puts work/effort into something, wants to see some kind of return, any kind of return

That's not entirely correct. According to forum guidelines, you most certainly can post a example of an email that you have sent, or received, as long as you take out the identifying markers. What you cant do is allow the other person's screen name to remain, include any link to their profile or journal entries, etc. There's a whole "return to sender" thread in another section that follows these rules.

With that said, I agree with you, entirely. Who doesn't want return on their investment?

I'm willing to be fair. No, I don't have to work at this as hard as you do. At the same time, I don't *just* do well at this because I have an innie, rather than an outie. My success rate is not entirely dependent on a pair of boobs. Some of it really is simple marketing. Same concepts.

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ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

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When a new woman here will easily get over 100 emails an hour, why would they need to pay?

I guess I did it wrong

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But the fact is,
1. it is far more common for a woman to receive enough messages on a non-paid site that she doesn't need to go to a paid-site
AND
2. it is not unusual for women to get free memberships on paid sites, in return for little to no active participation, while men have to pay

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I seem to remember the toying around with a section devoted to success stories. Where people would praise the nice people, tell their winning tales, stuff like that. I can only see the benefit in both sides coming together and sharing what works and doesn't, in a neutral environment. I am pretty sure most of us guys would welcome constructive criticism.

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ORIGINAL: ReMakeYou
Sites with a Ladies Night business model still pop up from time to time, but Match has been around longer and done better without such tactics.

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ORIGINAL: ReMakeYou

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But the fact is,
1. it is far more common for a woman to receive enough messages on a non-paid site that she doesn't need to go to a paid-site
AND
2. it is not unusual for women to get free memberships on paid sites, in return for little to no active participation, while men have to pay

For the more respectable paysites, "not getting enough messages" is considered a feature instead of a bug. Requiring an up-front cost will discourage people who just message to stir shit, and having to pay for membership should (at least in theory) mean that everyone there is seriously invested in finding a relationship. Sites with a Ladies Night business model still pop up from time to time, but Match has been around longer and done better without such tactics.

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I seem to remember the toying around with a section devoted to success stories. Where people would praise the nice people, tell their winning tales, stuff like that. I can only see the benefit in both sides coming together and sharing what works and doesn't, in a neutral environment. I am pretty sure most of us guys would welcome constructive criticism.

Positive Experiences focuses on relationships that go well. That generally happens a long time after the initial exchange.

And while a dedicated forum for people to ask third parties for advice might not get enough traffic to justify making one, you're certainly free to make a thread for that purpose. Encouraged, even. Outside of editing out their screen name (and real name, if they mention that), it's unlikely that any random back and forth could be an issue.

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ORIGINAL: Darkfeather

That looks to be the place. Not sure where one would put a critical analysis of sent messages though. It's not exactly a positive experience, but would lead to one

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ORIGINAL: betataster

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ORIGINAL: Darkfeather

That looks to be the place. Not sure where one would put a critical analysis of sent messages though. It's not exactly a positive experience, but would lead to one

Messages that you sent? They're yours and you are free to post them wherever you like, provided that you redact the identity of the recipient

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ORIGINAL: ReMakeYou
For the more respectable paysites, "not getting enough messages" is considered a feature instead of a bug. Requiring an up-front cost will discourage people who just message to stir shit, and having to pay for membership should (at least in theory) mean that everyone there is seriously invested in finding a relationship.

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Positive Experiences focuses on relationships that go well. That generally happens a long time after the initial exchange.

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ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

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ORIGINAL: betataster

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ORIGINAL: Darkfeather

That looks to be the place. Not sure where one would put a critical analysis of sent messages though. It's not exactly a positive experience, but would lead to one

Messages that you sent? They're yours and you are free to post them wherever you like, provided that you redact the identity of the recipient

Exactly right.

This is a copy of a response I wrote. The guy lived in another state and asked me about my tat. He couldn't make out the number and thought it was 42. That tells me he looked at my pics. He also asked if I were 'real' because he really would like to say hello and last, he mentioned and answered the question in my profile about being an item in an antique shop.

As you can see, I put the 'gist' of what he asked but my response to him is fully what I wrote cut and pasted from my 'send' file.

"It's a 49 although I have a great appreciation for 42 as I have read Hitchhikers Guide several times. I'm a 49er football .. um.. okay, I guess you could say fanatic. :D

I am quite real as I'm not nearly adept enough at writing complex code to come up with a form of AI that could write a profile or use a passport as well as myself. ;)

Also, AI programs don't use emoticons and I love those things!

So, you got to say your hello, which is what you wanted and.. here's a perk.. a "Hello" back to you which you didn't even ask for and my quite human word promising you that I'm a real, live and not a Memorex version of a person.

Brooms are great.. if I were a witch, I could mount you and fly. ::giggles:: Now.. after all that.. you being so far away this is the only email you're going to receive from me.. so, I hope you enjoyed it and that I will NEVER see you in the forums complaining that you don't ever get responses to your emails. :D

Be well, be good, behave or have fun. I have found it is impossible to do all those things at once but maybe you'll have better luck than me. ;)

Celeste"

Is it okay for him to write me back? Am I obligated to respond again? Since I just wrote that I would NOT write to him again, will he attempt to turn me into a liar?

Stay tuned for next weeks episode! Same trubled time, same trubled channel. ;)

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ORIGINAL: betataster

I would write back to you, thanking you for the response and wishing you well. I would not expect you to reply. I would acknowledge in my response that I did not expect you to reply.


Then I would stalk you...
It's a joke!

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ORIGINAL: Greta75

FR
I'm actually dealing with a situation in one of my local activity group, where this guy is randomly messaging any young female in their 20's with a pretty picture. Trying to make friends, chat them up, and of course when they either ignore him, do not respond, or refuse to give him their phone number, he gets aggressive and angry towards them for "being rude in not responding to him", and even threatening to blacklist them from other groups and things like that.

I confronted him and told him, this is unacceptable behaviour as I have met this guy in real life. And he told me, "I am just trying to make friends, people join these groups to make friends, how can these women possibly not expect to be contacted? Aren't they here to make friends too? And if the women don't like me, they can just block me, why still keep allowing my messages to get through to them?"

Like I was so face-palm talking to this dude that it's like, I see what the problem is. He doesn't believe what his doing is harassment at all. Like genuinely cannot see or realise how what his doing is harrassment. In his own retarded brain, he just feels that, he was just being friendly and all these women are too high on their horses to even decently respond. And they deserve to be "punished" for being such proud bitches! His a total psycho!

And I've advised all women involved to make police reports.

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ORIGINAL: Darkfeather

I still say cop-out, since you say that the majority of women have changed their attitude/disposition based on a relatively small cross-section of this site. Would we not all agree that the number of male registrants FAR outweigh the number of female? Would we also not all agree that, based on how the general attitude towards contact goes, it is the MALE's responsibility to make first contact (though I find it whole heatedly pleasant to get an initial message from, yes, a woman).

What this all means, is that a large number of men send out messages to potential women. Those messages then fall into 3 general categories. One, not even read (either seen in the preview skip and not interested, or tossed into the dreaded message filter cast off for all eternity). Two, read but not replied (this usually compromises the majority of messages unfortunately (I say unfortunately because we as senders, have absolutely no idea why no response was given... not compatible, age, race, likes/dislikes, alignment of the stars and planets, or any one of the millions of reasons two people don't hit it off). The third, and as op stated, is a response, a few messages, then nothing (for reasons, see point two). Boil all this down, and what you have is men sending out messages, in the off chance (read, small, minute, infinitesimal chance) that we get read, then replied to, then maintain any sort of conversation. Now me, I'm jaded, curmudgeonly. I have been doing this for a long, long, long... time. So getting no response is what I have long since come to expect. Hell, I have even stopped putting actual effort into my messages, since to be quite honest, spending actual time on an insightful well thought out, relevant first response means nothing when it doesn't even get opened. So what we end up with is, jaded, annoyed men, who get nothing even for the effort, and women who are jaded by the lack of good messages or any real conversation. What's the solution? If I knew that, I'd be getting the big bucks

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Do you know how hard it is to reply to say 3 or 4 women in a different way,

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This proves its a switch you turn on or off.

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I too would LOVE a simple "No Thanks" hell I would pay to get an actual reason.