Funny Messages from the "Other Side"

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

Funny Messages from the "Other Side"

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> Funny Messages from the "Other Side"

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 10/14/2012 9:13:41 AM

Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline

I know the women here get all sorts of funny messages from guys on the dating side of CM. "Funny" encompasses a wide spectrum.
I don't know if men have the same experience.
What I do know is I'd love to read some of your favorite messages, be they WTF, or funny, or bizarro, whatever. Anyone who'd like to share?
I got this one last night (I'm 53) copied below in its entirety exactly as received:

hello good age

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 10/14/2012 9:26:03 AM

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

A 24 year old sent me an email yesterday saying:

U likey to sucki the cocky?

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 10/14/2012 9:35:48 AM

Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

A 24 year old sent me an email yesterday saying:

U likey to sucki the cocky?

I just knew this thread was going to make me hysterical!

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 10/14/2012 9:37:03 AM

Posts: 572
Joined: 8/20/2012
Status: offline

Read bottom to top...and don't get any ideas - he's MINE!

TallullahHk on 10/11/12 at 2:50 PM:
That's fantastic for you. I'm not interested in anyone who needs to relocate.

xxxxxxxx on 10/11/12 at 2:43 PM:
You should rethink that statement since I am receiving A disability pension and all medical covered by them I can really move anywhere i want to go and never miss a payment.

TallullahHk on 10/11/12 at 2:03 PM:
Thanks but I'm looking for someone local.

xxxxx on 10/11/12 at 1:52 PM:
Very interesting tattoo. Would love a face pic as I am sending you one. (His photo is of him obviously recovering from a surgery as it is him laying in bed with his shirt not quite covering his beer belly and exposing surgical bandages. It also looks like he hadn't had a shower in many days.)

(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 10/14/2012 9:54:20 AM

Posts: 37
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: Missoula, MT
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

I know the women here get all sorts of funny messages from guys on the dating side of CM. "Funny" encompasses a wide spectrum.
I don't know if men have the same experience.

Generally we don't, other than the occasional message asking us to go look at their pictures on a pay porn site. I get about 3 of those a year.
I haven't gotten an unsolicited message other than those in the last two years.
I suppose I might get more messages if I put a picture up or if I didn't mention that I already have a sub, but that doesn't seem to prevent women from getting messages.
Ah well, guess I'll just have to watch this thread to get my daily humor.

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 10/14/2012 10:03:04 AM

Thaz

Posts: 617
Joined: 4/28/2012
Status: offline

Actualy I get a fair few. Mostly from gay guys who it apears cant read a profile :-/

Edit> Another one right after that! <looks around with paranoia> Unless its one of you lot trolling :-)

< Message edited by Thaz -- 10/14/2012 10:35:29 AM >

(in reply to MtGames)

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 10/14/2012 10:44:02 AM

Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallullahHk

Read bottom to top...and don't get any ideas - he's MINE!

xxxxxxxx on 10/11/12 at 2:43 PM:
You should rethink that statement since I am receiving A disability pension and all medical covered by them I can really move anywhere i want to go and never miss a payment.

xxxxx on 10/11/12 at 1:52 PM:
Very interesting tattoo. Would love a face pic as I am sending you one. (His photo is of him obviously recovering from a surgery as it is him laying in bed with his shirt not quite covering his beer belly and exposing surgical bandages. It also looks like he hadn't had a shower in many days.)

He's independently wealthy and willing to relocate? If you should change your mind and pass him up...

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to TallullahHk)

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 10/14/2012 10:47:12 AM

Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline

It's too bad you don't get the messages the women do; they can be beyond funny. I try really hard not to be too snarky in those I respond to, but I'm not all that mature sometimes.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to MtGames)

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 10/14/2012 11:10:35 AM

Posts: 494
Joined: 2/16/2009
From: New Jersey
Status: offline

Here's an unusual one. A guy trying to "save" me.

Dated:
10/14/12 12:20 AM

2 Thus saith the LORD the maker thereof, the LORD that formed it, to establish it; the LORD is his name;
3 Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.

Just remember that when you die, and stand in front of JESUS, that you can never say I never knew about your GOOD NEWS of salvation. Because HE cared enough to send me to you, to draw you. You will have no excuse and no defense. You are ACCOUNTABLE now!

I hope and pray that you change your heart and mind, and see that you are a sinner, and that you, like all of us have fallen short of the glory of GOD. I hope you see that you need a SAVIOR just as every single person on this planet does.

Unless you next email is in the affirmative, this will be the last email you receive from me. If you have any questions regarding the LORD OF ALL CREATION, or HIS WORD, of course I will answer that.

I hope and pray that you make the right decision before its to late!

_____________________________

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 10/14/2012 11:13:27 AM

Posts: 494
Joined: 2/16/2009
From: New Jersey
Status: offline

How can I forget the message I got today from a guy I was chatting with when he asked for a pic and I refused.

"No pic always means that you have a big, swinging dick"

_____________________________

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley

(in reply to masmiss)

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 10/14/2012 11:28:18 AM

Posts: 1336
Status: offline

I received this the other day...

I want to meet you tonight because you are so gorgeous. I am 42 years old, safe/sane dom with much experience. I live in OC and own my own company...

Followed by...

are you being shy ? Did yoiu read over my profile

When I never responded... the final message was...

You ugly cunt.. no one would ever want you.. I was doing you a favor!

_____________________________

Membership Co-ordinator, ProSubs"R"Us

Lead with love, live with love, leave with love.

(in reply to masmiss)

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 10/14/2012 11:28:25 AM

Posts: 572
Joined: 8/20/2012
Status: offline

First message from someone and they told me that no picture in my profile meant I was either a fat pig or stupid. He had a totally empty profile. He never did respond when I wrote back "So by your logic you are stupid. Congrats!".

(in reply to masmiss)

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 10/14/2012 11:40:15 AM

Posts: 865
Joined: 4/23/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shininglight23

I received this the other day...

I want to meet you tonight because you are so gorgeous. I am 42 years old, safe/sane dom with much experience. I live in OC and own my own company...

Followed by...

are you being shy ? Did yoiu read over my profile

When I never responded... the final message was...

You ugly cunt.. no one would ever want you.. I was doing you a favor!

LOL. I've gotten a few of the "you're very attractive, let's meet" messages that, after ignoring or politely declining, deteriorated into the "you fat, ugly cunt" message.

_____________________________

Beauty fades...stupid is forever
~ Judge Judith Scheindlin
____________________________________________

“Be that self which one truly is" ~Soren Kierkegaard

(in reply to Shininglight23)

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 10/14/2012 11:42:54 AM

Posts: 4122
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline

FR

I've several good ones over the time I've been here.Here is the latest one since it is easy to find.I wrote to "her" first after Googling her pic and receiving over 60 hits and I sent her the link showing all the places the pic "she" stole was found.

"Her" response...
From: xxxxxx

Dated:
10/8/12 4:20 PM

helow hun if u dont mind if u have a yahoo can you add me this is my email -----------______ [email protected]

I will admit "she" did change her profile pic a few days later...to one that only had 21 hits on Google image...lol.

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1H-Y7MAASkg&feature=related

(in reply to TallullahHk)

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 10/14/2012 11:51:42 AM

Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline

Yes, lots of these kind of messages come our way. The flip side of the laughs we get. At least you know we all get them and they're nothing to do with you.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to Shininglight23)

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 10/14/2012 12:39:39 PM

Posts: 6
Joined: 9/23/2012
Status: offline

From five seconds ago....

"You deleted my mail without reading it. Is that because you are a rude and classless cunt?"

The funny thing is that he does not remember we have spoken before, and I know exactly who he is.

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 10/14/2012 1:31:45 PM

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

In a first letter, she tells me that after reading about me on the forums she has chosen me to "cut her tits off". She has breast cancer and wants them to go out "with glory".

I am so lucky to be chosen for such tasks aren't I? After all, a day without flaying anyone is like a day without sunshine.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to ObeyMe35)

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 10/14/2012 1:48:12 PM

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

Do the mails just have to be from this site or similar sites?

If the latter is okay, read on:

I had a lady with whom I was involved and we were members of a swingers' site. We stated in our profiles that we always played together and that would not change.

I can't tell you how many guys and couples thought that didn't apply to them and what I am about to type is a rather decent re-enactment of some of the stupidest mails:

hornycple4u: "We just read ur intire prof and its a grate read. we realy like Sara and would love to her serve us for an evening. unfortunately "John" doesn't really like to share his women so, that's out but Michael is welcome to watch ... blah, blah, blah ... we hope youll take us up on our offer because you can't do much better."

My response: "Wow! I don't know what to say, exactly. I don't know if I have ever been the receipient of such a magnanimous offer! The two of you are willing to allow my lady to serve you for a night and just because of your respect for our relationship, I get to watch? I'm floored.

I'm sorry but, I think I am going to have to decline your gracious offer ... yada, yada, yada"

hornycple4u: "Yeah, John is great and we're both really open-minded. We wouldn't normally make an offer like that but you seem like a decent guy ..."

My response: "Here's a dollar. Go buy a clue"

Peace and comfort,

Michael

< Message edited by DaddySatyr -- 10/14/2012 1:50:37 PM >

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to ObeyMe35)

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 10/14/2012 1:49:44 PM

Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline

My immediate reaction to that was to wonder if a woman had really written it.
No good day without a flay?!!

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 10/14/2012 2:02:53 PM

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

Fucking

Dated:
10/9/12 6:01 PM

I liked your profile. I turn my subs into upscale call girls who make 10,000/wk. Let's talk.

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> Funny Messages from the "Other Side"

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.078