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dreamlady -> RE: Why would someone do this? (3/17/2016 9:57:02 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Darkfeather
But the fact remains, when two or more people engage in social interaction, we kinda expect it. Please and Thank You, Hello and Goodbye, basic polite mannerisms. The fact that we don't get them (more often than not), doesn't change the fact that at least one side expects this.
I completely get what you're saying, I really do.
No doubt, you have enough decorum to not spam every woman within a 500/1000/2000/3000/5000-mile radius of you who has clearly stated that she is not interested in engaging in long-distance interactions.
No doubt, you don't target women whose age range and/or other preferences you don't meet by any stretch of the imagination.
No doubt, you don't message women whose profiles say they are already in a committed relationship and/or are only here for the forums.
No doubt, you think that by saying hello, good day, or some other impersonal pleasantry should entitle you to a hollaback, even if your stats (or profile picture or profile text or Interests list, etc.) is not in line with what a woman is seeking.
No doubt, you take the time to read through profiles to assess the likelihood of making a suitable match, and consider yourself a promising contender if only you were given a fighting chance, right?
But. A great majority of men aren't like you. If you truly want to convey that you are special and a cut above the rest, than your introductory message should reflect that.
Speaking of cop-outs, no longer taking the time to put much effort into your messages is a cop-out.
Would you expect common courtesy if and when you have not demonstrated the same? You (plural) shouldn't.
Would you bother to apply for a job for which you are not qualified and then expect to get the red carpet treatment? Would you apply for a job just so you can get a TBNT response? I doubt you would because you aren't a fool. And you certainly wouldn't return to try to convince HR by debating with them that they should hire an unqualified applicant. Then when you get rejected for a second time, you start cussing them out, saying that you didn't want their sorry job to begin with and they can shove it where the sun doesn't shine (or else threaten to do harm to the establishment). Yeah, a real class act.
Would you show up uninvited at an unknown family's family reunion gathering or take it upon yourself to invite yourself to a random family's outdoor BBQ and expect to be warmly greeted when they don't know you from Adam and you have no business interrupting their festivities? (Keep in mind that a person's inbox is their turf, not yours.)
Would you want random strangers to accost you asking you for a light or to bum a cigarette, and then proceed to argue with you about holding out on them, when you weren't even smoking to begin with?
Would you want people who cannot help you in any way, shape or form to waste your time by stopping to offer you condolescences (and nothing else) because they had nothing better to do than to pull over the side of the road to say, Sorry dude, I can't give you a lift and my cell phone's not charged so I can't let you use it, and I'm running late for work so I'm too busy to give you a hand, but have a nice day anyway? While you courteously respond, Have a nice day, too, and thanks for the thought, you would be muttering "Wtf? What an idiot" to yourself, wouldn't you.
Common courtesy works both ways, my friend. Being (and I'm not saying that you are) presumptuous and not valuing other's time at the expense of your unsolicited pride is not showing courtesy. It's like going around a neighborhood that is not your own where nobody knows you, loitering in their driveway, and/or knocking on doors to sell an unwanted and unneeded product. If someone's dog lunges out to bite you in the arse, then that's on you, not them. [:-]
DreamLady
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