RE: schools of thought.. an of shoot (Full Version)

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juliaoceania -> RE: schools of thought.. an of shoot (7/21/2006 8:44:35 PM)

ownedgirlie, I have never said you should have a safeword, just as I do not think that others should tell me i shouldn't have one..if I get hurt and I post about it on CM, then someone can say they told me so..smiles. I wouldn't judge your situation, it just isn't my place.



ownedgirlie -> RE: schools of thought.. an of shoot (7/21/2006 8:53:19 PM)

Julia, I didn't think you judged me, and hope that you see I was not judging you either.  I just wanted to comment on that particular sentence of yours, about communication, because I do not see the two go hand in hand (no safeword must mean no communication).  I do hope you took my words in a way that was not personally offensive to you, as I did not mean them as such, at all.



juliaoceania -> RE: schools of thought.. an of shoot (7/21/2006 9:24:01 PM)

I didn't ...smiles... I was making sure you understood my intent



ownedgirlie -> RE: schools of thought.. an of shoot (7/21/2006 9:28:19 PM)

I did, but thanks for being sure :)  [sm=flowers.gif]



ClassAct2006 -> RE: schools of thought.. an of shoot (7/22/2006 3:21:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leakylee

In reading the thread on the safe words, there seems to be two main school of thought on them. The first being that they have paramount place in our play, and the second being that can be there or not.

My question is how did you come to your decision? Was it by experience? Did a session somewhere light the bulb that confirmed this path for you? Was it from the numberous sources available in researching and learning?

Thank you for sharing
Lee


A matter of English law, I think. I want an ability to withdraw consent in an agreed way. I've never had to use one actually ever but I've always had one; but nor have I spent a lot of time with people I don't know and trust either.



Manawyddan -> RE: schools of thought.. an of shoot (7/22/2006 7:57:19 AM)

I expect a new person I am playing with to have a safeword, but I don't use it as an exclusive guage to measure the intensity of our interactions. I've been with too many people who go non-verbal during play.

I use a safeword (and slowword, like 'yellow') as a safety belt: I don't drive without one, but I don't think the point of driving is to keep going until I need to use it! I prefer to pay attention to my surroundings and watch the pace of traffic, instead.



Archer -> RE: schools of thought.. an of shoot (7/22/2006 8:39:29 AM)

All words are communication if they are heard and understood. This includes safewords.
Safewords are ONE WAY to communicate. In most cases they are used to simply without as much potential for misunderstanding, communicate HEY I'M in DISTRESS HERE we need to talk.

It is in the lessened chance of misundertanding that they have a value.
Stop, don't
Stop Don't Don't Stop
Please Don't stop
Being the perfect example of how plain speach can go wrong or right depending on your view.

Are you a person who likes to struggle against the submission of the moment? Are you someone who wants to work through the ideas of resisting the activity? There are times and places and forms of play where plain speach just works counter to the scene in question.

How can I do an interrogation scene without a safeword? (The withheld information being the safeword generally).

In Leather

Archer



leakylee -> RE: schools of thought.. an of shoot (7/29/2006 9:52:15 PM)

Using fast reply.
I am not meaning to revive this. I just wanted to thank everyone for responding to the thread. I didnt mean to disappear. We had a bit of a family thing that had to be dealt with. I really appreciate everyones thoughts and input. I truly enjoyed reading them.

In hopes that everyone has enjoyed thier weekend
Lee





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