RE: Orgasm T&D and relationships

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RE: Orgasm T&D and relationships - 6/22/2016 10:33:22 AM

DannyIsNotWelcom

Posts: 177
Joined: 8/7/2015
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quote:

ORIGINAL: captive4ever

In my (gay) male experience, T & D only makes a guy more horny, more submissive and putty in the hands of his Dom(me).

Well that's the idea of it? "Do you want to come slave boy?" - "Yes master very much so. Please! Please!" - "Hmm." - "No I mean it. please master I beg you Sir!" - 'Do you think you deserve it? Have you been a good boy?"- "I think so yes." - "Well then here you go." I've never had anything like that before.

(in reply to captive4ever)

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Post #: 61

RE: Orgasm T&D and relationships - 6/22/2016 3:49:12 PM

DannyIsNotWelcom

Posts: 177
Joined: 8/7/2015
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Being owned in submission is not mood-optional; it's a commitment entered into regardless of how *subbly* one happens to be feeling or not at any given moment.

Little criticism there, when my master made me his slave he didn't ask for my permission, so you can't really call it a commitment. I told him, I obey you because I like it and I want you to be satisfied and he said, is that really all? Well then there is the fact that I otherwise have to fetch the cane an bend over.

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Post #: 62

RE: Orgasm T&D and relationships - 6/22/2016 7:21:53 PM

DeliciousAche

Posts: 39
Joined: 2/23/2016
Status: offline

I will respond to this one. Thank you for your post.

T&D certainly affects men differently than women.

My intent in starting this thread was to discuss Tantalism & Denial and how it affects relationships.

T&D is much more than just physical play as some here seem to think; the intimacy of bonding between partners transcends the normal bonding.
Why? because one is totally submitting and obeying out of dedication, commitment, surrender of body and perhaps mind and, hopefully, love. The two come (not cum) together in a unique bond which can be felt with every stroke of dominant's hand across the submissive male especially when he is in T&D itself.
The surrender for the male is different than the surrender of the female. In nature, the male sexually dominates in most species and humans too, exceptions do arise. For the man, who normally dominates, and now surrenders his own ability to orgasm over to somebody else, the roles are now reversed. He finds himself helpless and at the whims of somebody who is now the focus of their lives. His life now changes, probably forever.
Once the experience has been experienced, one cannot deny the power of effective use of T&D.
I'd also comment that incorrect usage can cause unfortunate results for the submissive. Always practice SSC play.

quote:

ORIGINAL: captive4ever

I'm no expert, and I don't think I'm sexist, but I think this questions pertains to females in a totally different way than it does to males. In my (gay) male experience, T & D only makes a guy more horny, more submissive and putty in the hands of his Dom(me). From what the female subs and slaves here have said it is a very different dynamic for them.

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Post #: 63

RE: Orgasm T&D and relationships - 7/11/2016 3:09:44 PM

DeliciousAche

Posts: 39
Joined: 2/23/2016
Status: offline

I also wanted to ask: do you use/wear chastity devices in concert with T&D?
If so, to what goal? Do you feel they help or hurt a relationship?

(in reply to DeliciousAche)

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Post #: 64

RE: Orgasm T&D and relationships - 7/11/2016 10:28:23 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DeliciousAche
I also wanted to ask: do you use/wear chastity devices in concert with T&D?
If so, to what goal? Do you feel they help or hurt a relationship?

Not happenin' and this has become a deal-breaker issue.

I used to be more tolerant of the idea because I had a couple of friends who were chastity slaves. These were friends who had been Friend-Zoned years ago. They later confided in me that they have been suffering from sexual performance dysfunctions, including but not limited to impotency, as a result of wearing cockcages over a prolonged period of time (4-16 years).

As it became abundantly clear that the chastity lifestyle mentality possessed by male subs is diametrically opposed to the type of sub who is suitable for me to own, this door has been closed shut and sealed off.

Funny - strange, not haha - during this same timeframe, my intolerance for considering a crossdressing partner has reversed itself, as I have become better acquainted with and come to know a few male crossdressers who are not of the (narcissistic) self-absorbed sissyCD variety. In this case, I was positively influenced by subs & switches who were not into "forced" fem, did not have gender-identity insecurities, and were primarily comfortable with their straight male sexuality along with fully embracing their masculine nature. If an impressively high-compatibility match can show me he is not obsessive-compulsive about crossdressing, that it is an impulse he has under control, then I am open to the possibility of choosing to occasionally reward my partner thusly on a sporadic basis. (This would depends on how adept he is at begging, which supplications are permitted whilst my sub consistently maintains himself in good standing.

)

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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
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(in reply to DeliciousAche)

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Post #: 65

RE: Orgasm T&D and relationships - 7/12/2016 2:59:20 PM

DeliciousAche

Posts: 39
Joined: 2/23/2016
Status: offline

@FieryOpal
Thank you for the thoughtful response.
As you elaborate, each person is different in their hopes, desires, turn on/offs and limitations. Clearly the chastized male has his own idea of how a relationship should be. If he is self-focused in chastity and T&D, then he went down the wrong path; he missed the boat. Please check my next post for some healthy thoughts on the matter.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeliciousAche
I also wanted to ask: do you use/wear chastity devices in concert with T&D?
If so, to what goal? Do you feel they help or hurt a relationship?

Not happenin' and this has become a deal-breaker issue.

I used to be more tolerant of the idea because I had a couple of friends who were chastity slaves. These were friends who had been Friend-Zoned years ago. They later confided in me that they have been suffering from sexual performance dysfunctions, including but not limited to impotency, as a result of wearing cockcages over a prolonged period of time (4-16 years).

As it became abundantly clear that the chastity lifestyle mentality possessed by male subs is diametrically opposed to the type of sub who is suitable for me to own, this door has been closed shut and sealed off.

Funny - strange, not haha - during this same timeframe, my intolerance for considering a crossdressing partner has reversed itself, as I have become better acquainted with and come to know a few male crossdressers who are not of the (narcissistic) self-absorbed sissyCD variety. In this case, I was positively influenced by subs & switches who were not into "forced" fem, did not have gender-identity insecurities, and were primarily comfortable with their straight male sexuality along with fully embracing their masculine nature. If an impressively high-compatibility match can show me he is not obsessive-compulsive about crossdressing, that it is an impulse he has under control, then I am open to the possibility of choosing to occasionally reward my partner thusly on a sporadic basis. (This would depends on how adept he is at begging, which supplications are permitted whilst my sub consistently maintains himself in good standing. )

(in reply to FieryOpal)

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Post #: 66

RE: Orgasm T&D and relationships - 7/12/2016 3:01:08 PM

DeliciousAche

Posts: 39
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Please take a look at the previous post and then check out this site:

https://lovecherishobey.wordpress.com/tag/orgasm-denial/

Here are some excerpts from it:

When men are chastised, they are more considerate, more obedient, more thoughtful, more helpful. Let’s face it–while quite a few men are honest about their submissiveness, there are many many more who would have better lives if they admitted their inferiority and sought out a dominant partner to whom they could pledge their loyalty and obedience.

There would be many benefits for the chastised male. They would (finally!) be able to see themselves as submissive and obedient, and could explore that in other ways in their lives. How have they been lying to themselves? Becoming chaste would give many men a much-needed wakeup call for other aspects of their lives.

Once in chastity, men become become calmer, friendlier, more patient, and more pleasant to be around. In return for all this, men only need to give up instant sexual gratification. Is the ability to play with yourself whenever you want really that important that men are willing to sacrifice a better personality?

Men would find that their relationships with their significant other, if they have one, would improve immediately as a result. Besides all the improvements in their comportment mentioned above, they would have given their dominant partner an expression of love and trust that is hard to top–the key to their sexual pleasure.

Once locked up, it’s natural to feel frustrated. This frustration is a good thing, because it teaches men subconsciously that there are some things they cannot have and cannot do. They must accept another person’s opinion, leadership, guidance, and commands. This frustration is healthy. It helps to break down the male ego and all the lies males are told in our society.

(in reply to DeliciousAche)

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Post #: 67

RE: Orgasm T&D and relationships - 7/12/2016 5:09:28 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeliciousAche

When men are chastised, they are more considerate, more obedient, more thoughtful, more helpful.

Statistics please.

quote:

There would be many benefits for the chastised male. They would (finally!) be able to see themselves as submissive and obedient, and could explore that in other ways in their lives.

Statistics please.

quote:

Once in chastity, men become become calmer, friendlier, more patient, and more pleasant to be around.

Statistics please.

quote:

Men would find that their relationships with their significant other, if they have one, would improve immediately as a result.

Statistics please.

quote:

it teaches men subconsciously that there are some things they cannot have and cannot do.

If someone as an adult doesn't realize this, they have some serious issues.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 7/12/2016 5:10:10 PM >

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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Post #: 68

RE: Orgasm T&D and relationships - 7/12/2016 6:36:38 PM

DeliciousAche

Posts: 39
Joined: 2/23/2016
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This is from somebody else's site, Oside. Please read the whole message before responding!

The statements made by that man (I'll presume he is a man) expressed his feelings and I imagine is shared by other men. I certainly don't have statistics on such matters. Heck, getting people to talk about their T&D experiences is hard enough! That is why I started this thread; to get information from others and to share it with the community in general. I am not trying to focus on only viewpoint either; all viewpoints are welcome.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeliciousAche

When men are chastised, they are more considerate, more obedient, more thoughtful, more helpful.
Statistics please.

quote:

There would be many benefits for the chastised male. They would (finally!) be able to see themselves as submissive and obedient, and could explore that in other ways in their lives.
Statistics please.

quote:

Once in chastity, men become become calmer, friendlier, more patient, and more pleasant to be around.
Statistics please.

quote:

Men would find that their relationships with their significant other, if they have one, would improve immediately as a result.
Statistics please.

quote:

it teaches men subconsciously that there are some things they cannot have and cannot do.

If someone as an adult doesn't realize this, they have some serious issues.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

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Post #: 69

RE: Orgasm T&D and relationships - 7/12/2016 7:19:14 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeliciousAche

This is from somebody else's site, Oside. Please read the whole message before responding!

The statements made by that man (I'll presume he is a man) expressed his feelings and I imagine is shared by other men. I certainly don't have statistics on such matters. Heck, getting people to talk about their T&D experiences is hard enough! That is why I started this thread; to get information from others and to share it with the community in general. I am not trying to focus on only viewpoint either; all viewpoints are welcome.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeliciousAche

When men are chastised, they are more considerate, more obedient, more thoughtful, more helpful.
Statistics please.

quote:

There would be many benefits for the chastised male. They would (finally!) be able to see themselves as submissive and obedient, and could explore that in other ways in their lives.
Statistics please.

quote:

Once in chastity, men become become calmer, friendlier, more patient, and more pleasant to be around.
Statistics please.

quote:

Men would find that their relationships with their significant other, if they have one, would improve immediately as a result.
Statistics please.

quote:

it teaches men subconsciously that there are some things they cannot have and cannot do.

If someone as an adult doesn't realize this, they have some serious issues.

You assumed that I didn't read the whole post. You're wrong. What I read is you worshipping someone that has made wide,grossly sweeping generalizations. Every single one of the statements says "men". It makes claims that have no quantifiable evidence...and you endorsed by quoting it.

If you're going to post claims that it changes personality, saves realtionships, etc for an entire sex, or orientation - you should at least do some research. You just posted about the entire male gender like it was fact.

And even if you're quoting someone else, you're still responsible for posting it.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DeliciousAche)

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Post #: 70

RE: Orgasm T&D and relationships - 7/14/2016 6:05:46 PM

DeliciousAche

Posts: 39
Joined: 2/23/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeliciousAche

This is from somebody else's site, Oside. Please read the whole message before responding!

The statements made by that man (I'll presume he is a man) expressed his feelings and I imagine is shared by other men. I certainly don't have statistics on such matters. Heck, getting people to talk about their T&D experiences is hard enough! That is why I started this thread; to get information from others and to share it with the community in general. I am not trying to focus on only viewpoint either; all viewpoints are welcome.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeliciousAche

When men are chastised, they are more considerate, more obedient, more thoughtful, more helpful.
Statistics please.

quote:

There would be many benefits for the chastised male. They would (finally!) be able to see themselves as submissive and obedient, and could explore that in other ways in their lives.
Statistics please.

quote:

Once in chastity, men become become calmer, friendlier, more patient, and more pleasant to be around.
Statistics please.

I am not worshiping anybody, merely sharing somebody's opinion or thoughts on T&D. Just because I share something does not mean I agree with it entirely.
I'm sorry you have not enjoyed this thread. Perhaps there are other threads which you might enjoy more.

quote:

Men would find that their relationships with their significant other, if they have one, would improve immediately as a result.
Statistics please.

quote:

it teaches men subconsciously that there are some things they cannot have and cannot do.

If someone as an adult doesn't realize this, they have some serious issues.

You assumed that I didn't read the whole post. You're wrong. What I read is you worshipping someone that has made wide,grossly sweeping generalizations. Every single one of the statements says "men". It makes claims that have no quantifiable evidence...and you endorsed by quoting it.

If you're going to post claims that it changes personality, saves realtionships, etc for an entire sex, or orientation - you should at least do some research. You just posted about the entire male gender like it was fact.

And even if you're quoting someone else, you're still responsible for posting it.