LadyPact
Posts: 32566
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quote:
ORIGINAL: QualityFirst
I cannot believe what I am reading. You cannot be so stupid as to not see the huge difference between a message I write here to a lady and span e-mail.
If you are really going to call people stupid because they are telling you that 95% of their email is the same thing as spam, I'm going to highly suggest you don't read 90% of the threads around here. You're going to find a lot of things said that are more stupid than that.
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I carefully read the profile and the journal of a lady who makes it clear that she wants a submissive. Only when I am compatible with the requirements she expresses in those texts do I send a personalized message to her. If afterwards, I seem to not be compatible with her, it's because she has have me loose my time by not expressing all her requirements.
Are you really sure about that? Did you read my profile before writing me? Nope.
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People who send the same impersonal to thousands of people, do so without having found a profile of me indicating that I am looking for what they have to offer, and without caring about my specific needs and wants.
OK. You seem to be hung up on this thing about how your write a "good" email.
This is where I start to separate emails (in my view) based on quality. One really neat thing this site did six years (?) or so ago was implement this thing called the spam filter. (Yes, it's really called that.) I think that was pretty much the same time as the hover feature came into play. This spam filter was all about catching folks who were sending the same copy/paste message to everyone, guys who were doing the 'buckshot' approach, (meaning men who just wrote dozens of women within the same time frame) and all kinds of other gunk. Trigger the spam filter and you (meaning any guy X) lost your email privileges. This was supposed to be good for the majority of people. Women would receive less crap and (hopefully) focus on the 'good' emails. Sounds good, yes?
However, this didn't change much about what women got in return for that 'thanks but no thanks' message. Even people who wrote 'good' emails reacted badly. It was still a 'not worth it' situation for women in most cases.
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Of course, becasue the lady doesn't read the 100 messages.
No. You're assuming the lady isn't reading any of the messages just because she isn't reading yours. People like myself, for example, absolutely ARE reading certain emails, probably because I know the person who sent them. She is selecting the ones she will read based on her criteria.
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She deletes unread let us say 95 of the 100 messages. For example, if I send you a message, I estimate the probability that you delete it unread, just based on the sender, to be 99.99% (leaving a probability of 0.01% that you get angry and reply to have me write a punishment of at least 10,000 lines).
You already did send me a message, and yes, I deleted it unread. There was nothing that you were going to tell me in email that couldn't be discussed on this thread.
And, stop doing that bit that I put in bold. That is the ridiculous assumption that, just because you write a female Dominant that she's going to start fulfilling your fetishes and 'punishing' you via email.
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From the 5 remaining messages which she reads partially or completely, she rejects 4 messages. Whether she does this with "no thanks" or with "deleted unread" doesn't change the time she spent to read the messages.
Yep. Until she has to read more messages from all of the 'no thanks' guys. This has been covered multiple times on the thread.
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Yes, and even 8 minutes more in a leap year.
Cute.  A sense of humor is always good. 
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Such figures are impressive, but they don't impress someone like me. You know why? Take a sheet of paper, and notice carefully how many time you spend on what each day. You will soon find out that, like everybody, you waste a lot more than 8 minutes a day on much less important things.
Yet, they are the eight minutes of my choosing. Just like you. Just like everyone.
The part you might be missing is, it's where such things hold importance to me. You are still trying to justify how you think other people should spend their time.
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I gave already an example in this thread about a decent message I received from someone to tell me she was not interested. Today, only a few days later, I received another such message:
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QualityFirst,
Thanks for writing to me! You sound like a nice person but I'm looking for someone who lives closer.
With regard,
Mxxx
That's twice. Do you remember what I told you about how to go with the odds of online dating? You did exactly what I told you not to in both of your examples. 1) You specifically went for someone way outside of your age range and 2) you went for somebody too far away. If your point is just to get rejection emails from women all over the world? OK, you're doing it right. If you have another goal in mind, you might not be.
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This lady no doubt also receives a lot of messages and handles a lot of them with "deleted unread". But she seems to be able to distinguish between such messages and a message that deserves a decent reply, and she is respectful and polite enough and not too lazy to do so.
Or, she's new and is still in the stage of answering everyone. Or, she doesn't get the same volume of email as other people. (Watch how this goes, especially on this site. This is the part about how men like to crow about how they answer "all" of their email. As one half of a couple, I can promise you that I get more 'first contact email in a week than my husband does in an entire year.) Or, she really didn't have anything better to do. Or a hundred other possibilities.
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If you are so successful, it's your problem to get managed that quantity in a decent way. I have not to be the victim from the fact that you don't care about it.
I will tell you something really neat about kink sites. (PonyGroom is familiar with this, too.) Those of us who run groups, do presentations, etc, will get more email just based on that. (He's actually been doing this a lot longer than I have, so he's probably better equipped on the subject.)
As for "managing" it, I do. You just don't like the way I do it by deleting a bunch of stuff from around the globe unread. See how easy that was?
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Unlike the messages I send? What do you know about them? Nothing at all.
I have tried so hard not to be rude on this thread. That patience is slipping.
1) I know you are across the globe.
2) I know you are way too far past my upper level in age range.
3) I know you very specifically didn't read my profile in my attempt to save your time and mine, because I state very clearly the conditions under which you shouldn't expect a pleasant response.
Any person who professes to read profiles *before* sending emails, should pass mine by. You didn't though, did you?
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A very poor excuse to not decently treat the message you receive and which deserve to be treated decently.
You are putting more value on the message that you write than that of the recipient. Your investment of writing the email is not the same as mine when it lands in my inbox.
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You may want to take some time to read the profiles of dominant women. You will then see that a lot of them have also still a lot to learn (as far as some of them are able and willing to learn something).
Here's something I find funny. (It's kind of wrong, in a sense, but it's the truth.)
Sometimes, I will check a person's profile if they start a thread on the forums so I can get a better idea of where they are coming from. Not all of the time. Just when I think it will be beneficial.
When I'm the person sending that first contact email, I hardly ever do. This is mostly because when I write a first contact email, it has nothing to do with kink, sex, dating, looking for a sub, or any of that other stuff. No kidding, here are some examples of first contact emails I write:
"I saw your post (on the other site) about looking for a presenter that fits in <X category>. I saw Person A at an event several years ago and he is absolutely amazing... Blah, blah"
"Was that you I saw on "The Walking Dead" thread on the other site? I just want to make sure it's the same screen name."
"Being a fellow insomniac..."
Pretty much, I write the kind of first contact emails that are the exact same type that I would respond to.
_____________________________
The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT
Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD
Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.
Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
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RE: Deleted unread - 
Profile
thought out message. 
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