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QualityFirst -> RE: Deleted unread (5/8/2016 6:54:07 PM)
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ORIGINAL: HoneyBears
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ORIGINAL: QualityFirst
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ORIGINAL: HoneyBears
Your profile indicates Actively Seeking Online Romance.
I'm optionally open to it. It is not a requirement.
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You think all Bavarian dominants are impolite? Then you really don't know the Bavarians.
Understood that you are seeking on-line interactions in addition to whatever else may come your way. You questioned anjelikaJ's suggestion that you could get better results by attending local events rather than relying upon the Internet cold-contacting method of messaging to get a domme interested in you.
Local events and Internet contacting each have their specific advantages and drawbacks. As I am prepared to an online relationship, the Internet allows me to contact people from all over the world, thus greatly increasing my chances to find a good match.
Online is 100% safe and doesn't require travel or accomodation: you can dominate me from the comfort of your home.
Imagine you want me to sit on my knees for 4 hours. With an in person encounter, you know that I do it because otherwise, you will torture me. With online in front of my webcam, it costs you less than one minute to establish a Skype session, and, when you are satisfied, to watch if I am still sitting on my knees and telling me that the session is finished. But moreover, you have the advantage to know that, however boring, exhausting and painful it was, I kept sitting on my knees for 4 hours, not because otherwise you could torture me, but just because I wanted to offer you this satisfaction.
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It is and it isn't, insofar as even if you were not submissive, and even if you were not contacting dominants, it is not up to you whether you are of interest to anyone else based on whatever criteria they may no matter how much you happen to believe you would make a suitable match.
Of course. Even if I fulfill all the criteria of someone else, that person is perfectly entitled to refuse me, and even without having to tell me why. It's just about the way this is done. There are more elegant ways than deleted unread. But then again, everyone who wants to show that she or he has no good manners is allowed to do so.
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Point blank, was your message Deleted Unread by a domme who had also selected she was open to conducting cyber D/s? If not, then you were taking a shot in the dark expecting to hit the bull's-eye in the name of civility, when your expectation in making unsolicited contact was unreasonable to begin with. Is this your idea of being considerate from your end? It does not matter how polite your message was; nobody is obligated to read or to respond to any communiqué (your sales pitch) which does not match up with their consumer needs, generally speaking.
Please, tell me where on Collarspace one can indicate if she or he is interested in an online relationship or not, except in the text of the profile or the journal.
I have received requests to submit online from people after having viewed their profile, although, based on their profile, I thought they would never be interested by online. So I suppose that there are dominants who didn't consider an online relationship, but who feel attracted to with I am prepared to offer them this way.
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Not many dominants want submissives who are loosey-goosey (a saying) or all over the map (a saying, but in your case could be literally apropos) in terms of not being selective of whom they offer their submission to. Many so-called submissives are suspect in this regard, as not really being sincere in offering submission as opposed to just wanting to get their cyber freak on.
Dominants differ with respect to this. Some don't want a doormat, but a sub who is alpha in vanilla life. Others want a sub who considers himself to be a worthless slut.
The fact that I am not very selective stems from my core concept of submission. For example, the fact that I am not selective with respect to gender stems from the fact that, as a submissive, when a dominant wants me to submit, I have not to choose whether I will have to lick a clit or to suck a dick.
In fact, if you want to better understand my submissiveness, let me tell you this. I would have liked to be the wife of a husband who comes home drunken, insults and beats his wife for no reason until she cries, then brutally rapes her and cruelly beats her if she dares to get wet. But I would think my husband didn't love me if he didn't treat me in this was. And no, I am glad that I am not a masochist at all (there is no pain I am able to enjoy, I have a low pain treshold, and I am afraid of pain), as therefore, a sadistic dominant can be sure that, if he tortures me, I will really suffer from it.
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By the same token - which is not to say that this pertains to you personally - subs who go around claiming to be no-limits slaves, are not welcomed with open arms due to how absurdly disingenuous, unrealistic, and recklessly fantasy-based such a declaration is.
Many submissives seem to not be very well aware about the difference between phantasies that arouse them, and what they would be able to really undergo.
As long as we are talking about BDSM (and not about criminal sadists), everybody has limits.
My strategy is to inform a dominant about my hard limits, which leaves the dominant a large framework into which the dominant can treat me however she or he wants, whether I like it or not. I have no wish list, and I don't expect a dominant to care about what I like and what I don't like. The dominant's satisfaction is all I need for my satisfaction.
With respect to hard limits, the traditional BDSM credo "consensual, safe, and sane" is unsifficient to me. I also exclude illegal interactions, as well as interactions that could (psychologically) hurt other people. For example, I will not allow you to kick me in the balls in presence of my daughter, because she would not understand why her dady allows you to torture me.
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ORIGINAL: QualityFirst
Please... I am straight, and I have no stick in my arse, I am still an anal virgin.
That was a slang phrase, as subsequently explained by Shandirra. It is to acting like an anal-retentive stickler to your made-up rules, as being "butt hurt" is to publicly airing your private grievances over an imagined slight to your wounded pride. [:-]
OK, thank you very much to explain me this. I do my best, but there are expressions in English I still don't know. Please apologize for it.
Over all, I would like to thank you very much for your contributions to help me better understand some things.
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