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RE: In your head. - 7/23/2016 5:18:48 PM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76
I think we understood what he meant and many of us pointed out it's not a bedroom scene for us. it's one part of our life.

Then I admit to being confused. Like you, I read immediately that OP was discussing bedrooms scenes. So I didn't respond because Carol and I don't do anything like that... no whips... no chains... no nada. Why respond with an off-topic answer?

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Post #: 41

RE: In your head. - 7/23/2016 5:56:42 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: armysgt

I am looking for some fresh perspectives on drawing a submissive out of her (his?) daily public persona and sweep them into their more true identity.

Yeah, funny how we didn't manage to translate that into "Tell me what will turn my submissive on".

You got the answers you got, because you didn't ask the question you meant.

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Post #: 42

RE: In your head. - 7/23/2016 6:54:52 PM

DesFIP

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And if your partner won't open up to you about her fantasies, that says a lot more about you op, than her. None of it good.

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Post #: 43

RE: In your head. - 7/23/2016 7:27:17 PM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
And if your partner won't open up to you about her fantasies, that says a lot more about you op, than her. None of it good.

That's quite a few leaps of logic. I've been with Carol for 20 years now. She is certainly willing to open up to me about her fantasies. That hardly means that she herself has thoroughly explored her own fantasy space and it wouldn't preclude me from seeking outside inspiration. Sure, I'd have to map anything I heard here against what I know of my wife, yada yada... but I disagree with your interpretation here. I can think of lots of perfectly normal reasons why I might want such input.

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Post #: 44

RE: In your head. - 7/24/2016 5:45:43 AM

LilJuly76

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not every scene involves whips and chains, there are plenty of non S & M scenes out there.

If the OP was talking about whips and chains if I was his wife I would fun, whips and chains etc.... are fun but only with someone that is experienced and knows what they are doing. I sense the OP is too new to even understand what to do properly involving that.

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RE: In your head. - 7/24/2016 7:10:23 AM

DesFIP

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I meant Jeff, that if he's asking and she doesn't feel safe talking to him, that's on him. I feel safe talking to The Man. I have from the beginning as I imagine Carol did with you.

But the assumption that anyone who likes some bottoming is actually servile, wanting nothing more than to crawl at his feet is one hell of a leap. Many people are only interested in bedroom play and they shouldn't be put down for that.

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Post #: 46

RE: In your head. - 7/24/2016 7:49:29 AM

Cell

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I commend you on your patience Jeff.

< Message edited by Cell -- 7/24/2016 7:50:20 AM >

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Post #: 47

RE: In your head. - 7/24/2016 8:08:35 AM

LilJuly76

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I mean run not fun

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Post #: 48

RE: In your head. - 7/27/2016 6:39:33 PM

poise

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
That's quite a few leaps of logic. I've been with Carol for 20 years now. She is certainly willing to open up to me about her fantasies.

Late to the party, and after reading all the responses, I think I have the OP's question all wrong, but I'm gonna wing it. But first...JeffBC by way of DesFip, sort of. (confused yet?)
I've got a few years more in my relationship than you do with Carol, and believe it or not, some of my fantasies are things I'd still be embarrassed to offer him. Not that they're way out there, it's just not something I feel I'd be comfortable expressing with him without blushing like a school girl. Yes, even after all these years, and to counter DesFip, this isn't about him being less than in any way, or me not being my true self.
quote:
ORIGINAL: armysgt
I am looking for some fresh perspectives on drawing a submissive out of her (his?) daily public persona and sweep them into their more true identity.
I'm going to play with your words just a little bit armysgt, if you don't mind.
I'd like you to wave a magic wand while standing naked and erect with your eyes never leaving mine, and make my skin glisten and be as smooth as it can be, and my body as pleasing and compliant as can be. Also, take those little gray hairs that have started to show and hide them. And once I see that glimmer of satisfaction in your eye, I know I am the best submissive I can be, which is what I think most submissives strive for. That's the best prop ever in my bedroom. :)

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Post #: 49

RE: In your head. - 7/28/2016 12:03:31 AM

NookieNotes

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We are 24/7, although we don't live together. It's just our dynamic.

I live a crazy life, with several business interests and a new project that just got funded. Today, in the car, heading to some personal time, we talked about his work and mine.

As we walked to the door, I said what I often say, "Until we leave my house again, there will be no talk of business."

When we got to my bedroom, we set our daytime things down, as we do. Unburdening ourselves of the things that require our attention in the outside world. He noticed a book on my bedside table, and asked about it. I told him it would have to wait until we left. He knew immediately why.

Then, we hugged. A full body, loving, giving hug.

THAT is how we start. How we leave the day behind. It is a ritual. Anything after that is open to our imaginations, but that hug is always the beginning.

But then, our relationship is based on our deep love and affection for one another, not the crazy scenes we dream up and enact. Those are just, well, FUN!

*smiles*

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RE: In your head. - 7/28/2016 12:33:59 AM

Gauge

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quote:

ORIGINAL: armysgt
the "Game"

You lost the game.

Just saying.

Embrace your inner geek.

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Post #: 51

RE: In your head. - 8/1/2016 5:57:37 AM

BrownEyedGirl45

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If you feel you need tricks and props, you aren't a very good Dom, and you certainly aren't with a sub that wants to submit to you. You either have it or you don't.

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Post #: 52