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Herpes - 9/2/2016 12:05:16 PM   
Rush30


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I'm very open and honest about my status on my profile about having HSV2.
We all know STIs exist, but I don't see too much talk about it on this site or others. I've yet to see another profile that states they are HSV positive on this site. Im sure most people are afraid to admit their status. Herpes is the most common STI, most people who have it don't know it, because some people may never show symptoms, but can spread it without knowing. Most STI screenings don't even test for herpes, you have to ask for it.
I've had it for 12 years now. I take anti virals on a daily basis, I haven't had an out break in 3 years. With condom use and anti virals, their is only a 0.5% chance I can pass it on.
For prospective,
If you had unprotected random sex with a stranger you have a 15-18% chance of catching an STI.
The worst part about having herpes is the stigma associated with it. It's a non life threatening infection that is easily controlled.
I've seen so many profiles that state all the sexual activities people engage in.
Are these people using protection?
Are they being safe?
Are they not concerned about STIs?
Do they just take the persons word that they are STI free?

My question is, would you have a relationship of anykind ( sexual, just play partners) with someone who has HSV?
If not, why? Because of the stigma?
Fear of catching it?

Their is still plenty of activities that you can engage that is safe for everyone.

I guess I look at it like this, wouldn't you rather have a relationship with some who KNOWS they have HSV and take proper precautions, than taking someone's word that they are clean?

Sorry for the length of this, I wanted to hopefully start a discussion about what people think about STIs, especially herpes.


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RE: Herpes - 9/2/2016 12:15:01 PM   
freedomdwarf1


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I don't know about others but I would definitely not have any association/relationship with someone who has any sort of STI.

For a lot of people, that it a red line and a deal-breaker.
There may still be plenty of activities for those with herpes, but from my PoV, it puts restrictions on key areas of play that I just wouldn't be hapy with.



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RE: Herpes - 9/2/2016 12:20:45 PM   
WhoreMods


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Would it sound snide to say that herpes is the most common social disease because people like yourself can't be bothered to use a rubber or dam to avoid sharing your gift with everyone you fuck?

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RE: Herpes - 9/2/2016 2:27:55 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14409
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods

Would it sound snide to say that herpes is the most common social disease because people like yourself can't be bothered to use a rubber or dam to avoid sharing your gift with everyone you fuck?


It's actually not the most common STD - HPV actually has that status.

http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 9/2/2016 2:28:35 PM >


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RE: Herpes - 9/2/2016 2:31:57 PM   
Rush30


Posts: 40
Joined: 8/26/2016
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@ whoremod why do you make such foolish attacks and assumptions?
If you looked at my profile I'm totally open and honest about myself, have been from day one. So please don't group me with all the other asses out there.
Why would you assume that anyway?
Did you ask me how I caught my herpes? No!
Did you ask how long I've had it? No!
Did you ask if I always used protection? No!
Do you even know the first thing about herpes?
How it spreads?
What are the real risk factors?
No! You just assume! It makes you look uninformed and nieve.
I answered your assumption in my other post, but I think you need to hear it again.
I've had it for 12 years, caught it from my wife of over 20 years. She had it before we were married, I knew she had it after our second date. Been in my open marriage over a year. For your information I haven't had sex with ANYONE other than my wife for 23 YEARS!!!
I'm looking for a connection with a woman not to just jump in sack!
So next time don't make assumptions about someone you don't know!

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RE: Herpes - 9/2/2016 2:54:06 PM   
Rush30


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Yes you're right. I meant to say it's one of the most common STIs. It's consider so common that it's not even part of an STI screening.

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RE: Herpes - 9/2/2016 3:05:17 PM   
Rush30


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@whoremod Nice of you to block me before I had a chance to view your profile. What's makes you look more foolish is that you didn't even bother to READ my profile. But you still passed judgment on me.

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RE: Herpes - 9/2/2016 3:12:36 PM   
OsideGirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30

What's makes you look more foolish is that you didn't even bother to READ my profile.


You don't know that.


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RE: Herpes - 9/2/2016 3:26:50 PM   
Spiritedsub2


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30

@whoremod Nice of you to block me before I had a chance to view your profile. What's makes you look more foolish is that you didn't even bother to READ my profile. But you still passed judgment on me.


WhoreMods didn't block you. He has his profile on hide so no one can see it, not just you. As do I. You make yourself look even worse berating regular forum members on the basis of your own stupid assumptions.

Edit: To answer the question in your OP, I'd risk herpes for someone important to me. But no way for a bullshit encounter with a married man.

< Message edited by Spiritedsub2 -- 9/2/2016 3:29:47 PM >


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RE: Herpes - 9/2/2016 3:41:19 PM   
Rush30


Posts: 40
Joined: 8/26/2016
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Why do you hide your profile?
I've been on this site less than a week, I post 2 questions and I'm getting attacked!
I'm still navigating this site and not sure of all of its functions. YES I ASSUMED I was being blocked, so shoot me for making a mistake, but I'm not afraid to admit when I make a mistake.
But why would any of you pass judgment and attack people but keep yourself anonymous?

I'm here to learn, to find friends, make connections, and expand my mind, not get attacked.

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RE: Herpes - 9/2/2016 3:45:04 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14409
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30

Why do you hide your profile?


Because men ignore what women write in their profiles and contact us anyway.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Herpes - 9/2/2016 4:10:12 PM   
Rush30


Posts: 40
Joined: 8/26/2016
Status: offline
Well, I'm not like other men. It's hard to believe! But I don't message anyone that doesn't seem like a match to begin with.
I don't keep messaging if I don't get a response. I use proper grammar, and say hello, nice to meet you, and usually write I few sentences to tell her about myself in a respectful way.
But their are some of us good guys out here. It really stinks to be grouped together with all the other animals before you get to know me a little.

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RE: Herpes - 9/2/2016 4:59:51 PM   
NookieNotes


Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods

Would it sound snide to say that herpes is the most common social disease because people like yourself can't be bothered to use a rubber or dam to avoid sharing your gift with everyone you fuck?


Yes, it would. Herpes is passed on in many ways. I was born with HSV1 because my mother had it and had an outbreak when she was pregnant with me. I had cold sores when I was a teen, but have never popped positive on a test of any sort. I am "clean" according to science, and have never passed on my gift, even when married and having fluid bonded sex for 15 years.

Some people got it through kissing. My Pet has HSV1. He got it from kissing a girl in 5th grade. He has never popped positive on a test, and yet he gets cold sores a few times a year from stress and is very careful about his contact during and for two weeks after. As far as he knows, he's never passed it on, even when married.

Some people get it through oral sex. HSV1 can be passed to genitalia through oral, and then presents very similarly to HSV2. This is usually only caught when tested WHILE the outbreak is there, and the outbreak is often not noticed by people. It is, however, contagious even when there is no visible outbreak.

My ex BF got HSV2 from being raped by an older woman a year after we were together. She used a condom, but had an outbreak at the time.

Neither HSV1 NOR HSV2 in the genital region is necessarily protected by a condom, as the outbreak does not always keep itself to the genital area protected by a condom. Nor is it always visible.

So, It would not only sound snide, but in this case, it would sound ignorant to say that.

< Message edited by NookieNotes -- 9/2/2016 5:02:01 PM >


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RE: Herpes - 9/2/2016 8:31:53 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
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No, OP, I would not.

I've actually passed by two submissive males that I was entering into relationships in my life based on their HSV - 2 status.

They were both honest to the best of their ability. I do consider disclosing this to allow people to make an informed decision. Withholding knowledge, intentionally, would mess with the premise of informed consent.

quote:

If not, why?

Because, no matter how low the percentage of it being passed along can be, all of the "safer" sex precautions, it will never be the same as zero. I'd probably never forgive myself if I brought home the 'gift that keeps on giving' to my primary partner.

Might not have been the answer you wanted. However, I assure you, it is an honest one.


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RE: Herpes - 9/3/2016 12:45:47 AM   
Greta75


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Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
Some people got it through kissing. My Pet has HSV1. He got it from kissing a girl in 5th grade.

It's good to hear that it is true you can get STDs from Kissing.

I have such a strict no fluid exchange policy that includes no kissing in my casual sex interactions. Men always tell me sexual diseases cannot be spread through kissing, but I always insisted that it could! My argument used to always be bleeding gums as a seepage for Aids to go through. And it's hard to detect when that will happen. And they call me paranoid. Thus no oral sex or oral anything of any kind that I will participate in ever in any of my sexual interactions, unless it's an exclusive relationship. Good to know, I have real cause for concerns. Now I can mention this!

After all, in casual sex, I trust nobody when they claim they use protection or practice safe sex or whatever. I treat everyone as infected with something to keep myself safe.

And PS to OP, unfortunately, if one is talking about casual sex, I will definitely refuse to sleep with someone who have declared his sexual disease condition to me.

But it is different in a future partner situation, where you are considering factors more than just sexual pleasures with each other and developing an emotional bond.

But casual sex. I'd just skip. No point taking the risk to be infected as well for someone who is just temporary in your life.


< Message edited by Greta75 -- 9/3/2016 12:49:53 AM >

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RE: Herpes - 9/3/2016 1:08:07 AM   
NookieNotes


Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
Some people got it through kissing. My Pet has HSV1. He got it from kissing a girl in 5th grade.

It's good to hear that it is true you can get STDs from Kissing.

I have such a strict no fluid exchange policy that includes no kissing in my casual sex interactions. Men always tell me sexual diseases cannot be spread through kissing, but I always insisted that it could! My argument used to always be bleeding gums as a seepage for Aids to go through. And it's hard to detect when that will happen. And they call me paranoid. Thus no oral sex or oral anything of any kind that I will participate in ever in any of my sexual interactions, unless it's an exclusive relationship. Good to know, I have real cause for concerns. Now I can mention this!

After all, in casual sex, I trust nobody when they claim they use protection or practice safe sex or whatever. I treat everyone as infected with something to keep myself safe.

And PS to OP, unfortunately, if one is talking about casual sex, I will definitely refuse to sleep with someone who have declared his sexual disease condition to me.

But it is different in a future partner situation, where you are considering factors more than just sexual pleasures with each other and developing an emotional bond.

But casual sex. I'd just skip. No point taking the risk to be infected as well for someone who is just temporary in your life.



Did you notice that Herpes (HSV1 and HSV2) are also not restricted by condoms? A condom also does not protect you from syphilis or HPV, because again, they present outside of the actual genital area covered by a condom. There is currently a huge outbreak of syphilis in the Raleigh area. Pet and I get tested regularly, because we do play (safely) with others.

And note, it's not just "STDs" from kissing, it's specifically HSV1, which is commonly know as cold sores. That is an STD. Well, they are called STIs (the i is for infection), now, but that's splitting hairs.

You may want to take a look at one of the best breakdowns I've seen:

https://markmanson.net/std-guide

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RE: Herpes - 9/3/2016 1:21:08 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
Did you notice that Herpes (HSV1 and HSV2) are also not restricted by condoms? A condom also does not protect you from syphilis or HPV, because again, they present outside of the actual genital area covered by a condom. There is currently a huge outbreak of syphilis in the Raleigh area.

Do regular soap kill these viruses?



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RE: Herpes - 9/3/2016 3:09:21 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30

I'm very open and honest about my status on my profile about having HSV2.
We all know STIs exist, but I don't see too much talk about it on this site or others. I've yet to see another profile that states they are HSV positive on this site. Im sure most people are afraid to admit their status. Herpes is the most common STI, most people who have it don't know it, because some people may never show symptoms, but can spread it without knowing. Most STI screenings don't even test for herpes, you have to ask for it.
I've had it for 12 years now. I take anti virals on a daily basis, I haven't had an out break in 3 years. With condom use and anti virals, their is only a 0.5% chance I can pass it on.
For prospective,
If you had unprotected random sex with a stranger you have a 15-18% chance of catching an STI.
The worst part about having herpes is the stigma associated with it. It's a non life threatening infection that is easily controlled.
I've seen so many profiles that state all the sexual activities people engage in.
Are these people using protection?
Are they being safe?
Are they not concerned about STIs?
Do they just take the persons word that they are STI free?

My question is, would you have a relationship of anykind ( sexual, just play partners) with someone who has HSV?
If not, why? Because of the stigma?
Fear of catching it?

Their is still plenty of activities that you can engage that is safe for everyone.

I guess I look at it like this, wouldn't you rather have a relationship with some who KNOWS they have HSV and take proper precautions, than taking someone's word that they are clean?

Sorry for the length of this, I wanted to hopefully start a discussion about what people think about STIs, especially herpes.





First off, kudos to you for being so open about this. It takes a brave person to do that and I for one respect you for doing so.

Your question :"would you have a relationship of any kind ( sexual, just play partners) with someone who has HSV?
If not, why? Because of the stigma?


I certainly wouldn't have casual sex with someone who admitted to having HSV but I would play with them. Reasons… I am married and it would be irresponsible of me to risk catching something that I could then pass on to him. Also, like you, I would be very open about it and that is bound to limit play partners, even if we aren’t having sex.

When me and mine got together we got tested for Hep, HIV and an array of STD's before having unprotected sex. Whilst awaiting the results we discussed how we would handle one or the other of us having HIV or Hep and we both knew that we couldn't let it ruin our relationship, even though our relationship was still only at the fledgling stage.

I have regularly played with a friend of mine who has HIV. It makes little difference knowing he has this virus because I take the same precautions with other play mates as I do with him.

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RE: Herpes - 9/3/2016 4:48:52 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
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In the past, I was in a sexual relationship with someone who was also open about his HSV-2 status.
He too was a practitioner of safer sex practices and also took anti-virals as a precaution.

But the virus can still shed even if there aren't symptoms and I wouldn't enter into a sexual relationship with someone now simply because I just like not having to deal with that.

I have a sneaking suspicion that there is a genetic tendency to be more or less vulnerable to HSV infections because neither my parents nor I have ever had it.
My sister-in-law does get cold sores and my brother has never caught it from her.
They have kids and at least one does break out in cold sores and at least one does not; I am not sure about the 3rd.

HSV does not scare me though.
HPV does.
It can be passed on and there aren't any symptoms and then some strains can cause cervical, anal, penile and head & neck cancers.

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RE: Herpes - 9/3/2016 5:04:37 AM   
NookieNotes


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Joined: 11/10/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
Did you notice that Herpes (HSV1 and HSV2) are also not restricted by condoms? A condom also does not protect you from syphilis or HPV, because again, they present outside of the actual genital area covered by a condom. There is currently a huge outbreak of syphilis in the Raleigh area.

Do regular soap kill these viruses?



It kills HSV. Outside the body. It will not kill syphilis.

Luckily, syphilis is treatable, and relatively harmless unless left untreated.

< Message edited by NookieNotes -- 9/3/2016 5:06:02 AM >


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