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RE: Someone Should Write A Book... - 7/24/2006 7:40:31 AM   
darkinshadows


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Thats part of my websitesite susan, but I linked all my favourite books to amazon, so just click the book to link to it if that helps to find them.
 
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RE: Someone Should Write A Book... - 7/24/2006 7:42:46 AM   
SweetSarijane


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Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		Consensual Sadomasochism is another book. I've not read it yet, but it's on the way by mail. I get most of my books at http://powells.com   I just type in titles in the search bar on the home page and it brings them up and also gives other book ideas in the same general vein. They have new and used.

My book collection is small so far. I've got "The Loving Dominant, The Bottoming Book, and SM 101 so far and the one I mentioned on the way. Next up will be Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns.

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RE: Someone Should Write A Book... - 7/24/2006 7:49:42 AM   
Vancouver_cinful


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetSarijane

Consensual Sadomasochism is another book. I've not read it yet, but it's on the way by mail. I get most of my books at http://powells.com  


Wow, I was there last spring and they had tons of erotica but only 1 non-fiction book about BDSM in their whole store. I checked their computer listings in the store, thinking maybe they were just sold out, and found none of the well-known books listed that I would have expected. I wonder if they only offer them online?

Susan, try searching for Pat Califa, and Fetish Diva Midori. I'm reading Wild Side Sex by Midori, and it's awesome.

< Message edited by Vancouver_cinful -- 7/24/2006 7:52:55 AM >

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RE: Someone Should Write A Book... - 7/24/2006 7:55:44 AM   
SusanofO


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Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Hey you guys (and gals) are all great for sending me these suggestions! Thnak you so very, very much! It's wonderful. I ma writing all of these down and will definitely go shopping today or tommorrow! (BIG HUGS FOR ALL WHO WROTE ME).
So generous. Thank you! 

- Susan

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RE: Someone Should Write A Book... - 7/24/2006 8:13:32 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Its an interesting question, SusanofO.

Books about SM that focus on relationship.

See, there are many books about the techanical stuff -- I won't list them because others have.

There are many books about Ds or about stereotypes or personal experiences/approaches to Ds.

Usually there is an assumption in the many books I've read that the relationship is Ds even if the activities are more SM.

Frankly I know that does not have to be true.

I had a great SM relationship with a man in NYC -- we got together to do SM stuff every week, not a bit of power or authority was ever exchanged, it was just for the fun of the activities. So we were friends really. We didn't that we needed a special book or guide other than to be friends. We were fairly good at being friends.

I think that is why you aren't finding books focused on the relationship in an SM situation. Either it is assumed it will be Ds or it is assumed its a friendship or a otherwise vanilla relationship.

Out of the hundreds of books I have here at home, I cannot honestly think of one that deals with SM relationships that does not assume it is, at some level, a Ds relationship too.

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Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: Someone Should Write A Book... - 7/24/2006 8:30:35 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Status: offline 		http://www.collarchat.com/m_269642/mpage_1/key_book/tm.htm#269653
submissive lit

Books on Subs/Bottoming

Books for subs/slaves

Books

Books on the lifestyle

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RE: Someone Should Write A Book... - 7/24/2006 8:41:13 AM   
SusanofO


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Status: offline 		Tammyjo: Yes, I am wondering if the motivations and what brings people to S/m, are any different than for D/s (even if it things have evolved, or whatever, to primarily D/s, in the S/m relationship in question - if that makes any sense. 

I imagine it's all pretty individual, but someone told me that the book Consensual Sadomasochism delves a bit deeper than many books into things of that nature, and the emotional relationships in S/m. Altough I haven't read it, so I don't know, and all the other books listed are wonderful to know about, and I am going to check them out and order some, no doubt - I am definitely getting that one.

LA: Thanks so much for the links. It is much appreciated.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/24/2006 8:42:59 AM >

_____________________________

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And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: Someone Should Write A Book... - 7/24/2006 8:46:18 AM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetSarijane

Consensual Sadomasochism is another book. I've not read it yet, but it's on the way by mail. I get most of my books at http://powells.com  


Wow, I was there last spring and they had tons of erotica but only 1 non-fiction book about BDSM in their whole store. I checked their computer listings in the store, thinking maybe they were just sold out, and found none of the well-known books listed that I would have expected. I wonder if they only offer them online?



I'm in the midwest and haven't made it to the coast to visit powells, but I do know they use several warehouses or locations in getting together books for orders as I've read about it on the website and they will send store maps with orders too. Besides shipping options they have where you can go pick up your order when it's ready if you're in the area. Maybe it's easier to find and order them online. I've bought from powells online for 3 years now and am very pleased with them.

One thing I do know is that doing a search to find bdsm non fiction is problematic for me there, but if I know titles of what I'm looking for I do a search on that and generally get other possible titles as well.

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RE: Someone Should Write A Book... - 7/24/2006 8:53:08 AM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO


I imagine it's all pretty individual, but someone told me that the book Consensual Sadomasochism delves a bit deeper than many books into things of that nature, and the emotional relationships in S/m. Altough I haven't read it, so I don't know, and all the other books listed are wonderful to know about, and I am going to check them out and order some, no doubt - I am definitely getting that one.



I heard that too which is why I decided to get it. It should be here any day now lol. With my needs and pleasure for/in pain play I want to understand it as fully as possible, understand me. It seems I'm always learning more about me these days and it's a wondrous thing to be discovering new things. I tend to try and deep think and analyze the new discoveries as they come and I love to read and reading about these things is a great way to find individual understanding I think....if that made sense.

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RE: Someone Should Write A Book... - 7/24/2006 12:39:59 PM   
DoctorDubious


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Joined: 6/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Tammyjo: Yes, I am wonngderi if the motivations and what brings people to S/m, are any different than for D/s (even if it things have evolved, or whatever, to primarily D/s, in the S/m relationship in question - if that makes any sense. 

book Consensual Sadomasochism delves a bit deeper than many books I imagine it's all pretty individual, but someone told me that the into things of that nature, and the emotional relationships in S/m. Altough I haven't read it, so I don't know, and all the other books listed are wonderful to know about, and I am going to check them out and order some, no doubt - I am definitely getting that one.

LA: Thanks so much for the links. It is much appreciated.

- Susan


Hey All,

RE: motivations....

Despite all the cheap lame glib useless ignorant Freudian crap
you see slung around here like shit in a monkey-house,
I suspect nobody really knows what motivates kink,
deviance.... or even individual variance in breakfast cereal preferences...

........ least of all the person themselves..........


The great explorer, writer, mystic, and totally perverted
Sir Richard Francis Burton (not the actor)
... discovered the source of the nile
... was the first white man to penetrate Mecca
... had a great translation of The 1001 And 1 Nights
.... had an original translation of The Kama Sutra
who also fucked everything, everybody within reach,
... in remarkably creative ways....

had this to say about motivation....

"Abjure the why, and seek the how"

***************************************8


I own most of the books mentioned
in this thread (except the leathermen stuff)
and they are all pretty good, actually.

When I owned a bookstore in downtown Calgary
back in medieval times, I had a little BDSM section
in with the sex books.  Surprisingly, the section
had some of the crappiest sales of any section...
.... except for Story of O, which I misfiled there,
as well as in literature in translation...

I think the world is ready for more
mainstream book publishing on kink topics
... really ready....
but predicting book sales has lead
smarter wiser richer men than me to ruin....

There's been little good writing on the emotional/relational
side of S/M, which is amazing considering
the incomparably deep emotional shit
that flows like the Amazon river through
the consensual cruelty, pain, fear, disgust, outrage,
humiliation, abuse, and outright damage
that can be such a wicked delight.............

I'd like to put in a good word for Erotic Surrender,
which is spotty .... her scenarious and ideas for
scenes are kinda pedestrian .....
but when ya search thru that crap
for the odd moments of personal revelation
and emotional vulnerability...
....... there's moments of pure golden writing there......

DD, a bookish old goat....
PS.... I wonder if the person

who said erotic surrender had no sadism in it
has worn fierce excruciating clamps
in quite the way described in that book
(I'm trying to remember.... it's been a long time since I read it...)

< Message edited by DoctorDubious -- 7/24/2006 12:52:39 PM >

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RE: Someone Should Write A Book... - 7/24/2006 12:58:34 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		When ever i hear that i think that some one should be the person saying it...i mean think of it, you write beutifully, you are very wise, you have your own insight, why not write the exact sort of book you are looking for?
 
now that may sound far fetched but i wrote a musical on BDSM when i first started and it really helped me understand my relationship with D-Life  in a way that just reading or watching a play can not...just a thought.,

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RE: Someone Should Write A Book... - 7/24/2006 2:19:37 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Tammyjo: Yes, I am wondering if the motivations and what brings people to S/m, are any different than for D/s (even if it things have evolved, or whatever, to primarily D/s, in the S/m relationship in question - if that makes any sense.

I imagine it's all pretty individual, but someone told me that the book Consensual Sadomasochism delves a bit deeper than many books into things of that nature, and the emotional relationships in S/m. Altough I haven't read it, so I don't know, and all the other books listed are wonderful to know about, and I am going to check them out and order some, no doubt - I am definitely getting that one.

LA: Thanks so much for the links. It is much appreciated.

- Susan


"Consensuaql Sadomasochism" by Henkin and Holiday is a good book but it is written more in a "explain it to the mundane" way in my opinion. But even there the sections about the "relationship" seems much more focused on Ds questions to me than simple questions you might have in a SM arrangement. There is also an emphasis on SM as an activity as opposed to a sexual orientation or a lifestyle, its fun role-playing and erotic theatre to a good degree. Which is can indeed be.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Someone Should Write A Book... - 7/24/2006 3:19:44 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		:: scribbles notes for a few more books to add to my collection ::

Gotta love swapping reading lists.

Long as we're throwing fiction onto the pile, there's one more I would add.
The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by Ann Rice  ISBN: 0452156610

Also found this one by Jack Rinella on B&N which looks interesting.
Compleat Slave: Creating and Living an Erotic Dominant/Submissive Lifestyle  ISBN: 1881943135

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RE: Someone Should Write A Book... - 7/24/2006 3:37:51 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetSarijane
I'm in the midwest and haven't made it to the coast to visit powells, but I do know they use several warehouses or locations in getting together books for orders as I've read about it on the website and they will send store maps with orders too.


I checked out the link and sure enough they do offer lots of BDSM books. I found it very strange when we were there that I couldn't locate them, nor did the in-store catalogue show them as available.

I plan to go again, and maybe this time I'll just get a salesperson involved. It is possible though that they aren't instore, although, as you say, they obviously warehouse them. Since there is a great fetish store just across the street, I assume it's legal to sell that stuff in Portland. LOL

I sure liked the store, and the prices! Since I live in Canada ordering the books online creates the possibility that Customs will hold them. (To protect our children they say, since the books aren't really illegal here. ) It's happened before.  

I'd much rather buy them there. I just tell them at the border that I bought books at Powell's and the customs person usually waves us on without a problem.

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RE: Someone Should Write A Book... - 7/24/2006 8:40:16 PM   
HollyS


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

:: scribbles notes for a few more books to add to my collection ::


*looks over your shoulder, copying notes*

I've not seen anyone mention "Radical Ecstasy" by Dossie Easton, which spends most of its time discussing how bdsm can be a transcendent spirtual experience.  She discusses the psychological processes involved for both tops and bottoms and puts it in a context I appreciated - bdsm as more than just kink. 

If you've not been there, Fetish Auctioneer offers books, toys and lots of other things for those looking.  Check it out, you might find a bargain.

~Holly


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RE: Someone Should Write A Book... - 7/24/2006 9:04:00 PM   
nefertari


Posts: 425
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline 		How about  On The Safe Edge:  A Manual for SM Play  found at www.alternate.com

You can also check out www.greenerypress.com or www.qualitysm.com if these haven't already been mentioned.  I skimmed  through all of the posts, but am too tired to actually read them word for word, at the moment.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Someone Should Write A Book... - 7/24/2006 10:19:30 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for the generous replies, people. It was kind of you. I am going to be reading a lot now, hehe!

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Someone Should Write A Book... - 7/25/2006 12:26:55 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		Personally, I think this has turned out to be a great thread.  I hope it keeps going.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Someone Should Write A Book... - 7/25/2006 5:43:03 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Okay, I'll bump it up to the top of the page and see what happens...*Does anyone have any books on SadoMasochitic relationships to list on this thread that have not been mentioned yet?

Thanks for stopping by!

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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Profile   Post #: 39
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