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What Dominants do for me - 12/23/2016 4:51:50 PM

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OK, my first serious thread.... be gentle (fuck that i am a masochist, rip into me as hard as you can ..make it hurt baby!!!)
OK so over on the other site there was a discussion where I talked about the way I revealed my deepest thoughts, fantasies and insecurities to my fellas (not all at once, it is an ongoing process). And it got me thinking about what the Fella said about how he viewed being dominant (which I posted in the pain thread). And i started thinking about how i could boil down what a dominant does for me, why i need one, into a simple statement, and this is what I came up with.

He takes my shit off my chest and puts it on his shoulders.

Thoughts?

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

RE: What Dominants do for me - 12/23/2016 5:16:06 PM

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Joined: 12/22/2016
From: UK, Manchester
Status: offline

Heh. I'm a mental masochist myself. :3

And it's a good thing. You have wants and needs. It's listened too. He's there for you. That's not just being a decent dom, there's being a decent person. I know people that I do this with. Rarely it's a dom. Maybe sometimes. When you open up and are accepted as you are then that's always good. In my case no one is expected to be there back either. Can't speak for your dom.

Btw, I'm into the darker things myself. Care to share anything there? You actually got me curious now. Some of what I know is roleplay related (hellhounds are fun and sadistic) but a lot can apply IRL as well. It's only fantasy if no one shares it with you. People out there can and even will.

< Message edited by Taramafor -- 12/23/2016 5:21:30 PM >

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

RE: What Dominants do for me - 12/23/2016 5:30:09 PM

Posts: 5079
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

OK, my first serious thread.... be gentle (fuck that i am a masochist, rip into me as hard as you can ..make it hurt baby!!!)
OK so over on the other site there was a discussion where I talked about the way I revealed my deepest thoughts, fantasies and insecurities to my fellas (not all at once, it is an ongoing process). And it got me thinking about what the Fella said about how he viewed being dominant (which I posted in the pain thread). And i started thinking about how i could boil down what a dominant does for me, why i need one, into a simple statement, and this is what I came up with.

He takes my shit off my chest and puts it on his shoulders.

Thoughts?

He creates a place for us to be our truest selves.

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

RE: What Dominants do for me - 12/23/2016 7:32:20 PM

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quote:

I'm into the darker things myself. Care to share anything there?

I'm not sure. Either of the legitimaterness of it cording to the site, or the rightness of revealing it, I may go from "Freaky chick" to "Fuck her she needs to die"

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to Taramafor)

RE: What Dominants do for me - 12/23/2016 7:38:02 PM

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quote:

He creates a place for us to be our truest selves.

yeah. I can agree with that. Do you think that works with what I said, I think it does. He creates that safe place by taking the responsibility of our desires off of us, and placing them on himself.

Or do you see it different?

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to tamaka)

RE: What Dominants do for me - 12/23/2016 7:51:35 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

He creates a place for us to be our truest selves.

yeah. I can agree with that. Do you think that works with what I said, I think it does. He creates that safe place by taking the responsibility of our desires off of us, and placing them on himself.

Or do you see it different?

Yes what you said is definitely part of it. But with that being said, i am referring to the magical place where Master and slave are no longer mere mortals but more of eternal beings/spirits interconnecting in such a special and intimate way that they become one... she becomes an extension of Him. What you described is a prerequisite for that process to happen.

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

RE: What Dominants do for me - 12/23/2016 7:52:57 PM

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Joined: 2/6/2011
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What I enjoy is completely losing control my body to someone. I love feeling helpless. I love a dominant who can seriously play with my body like an instrument he is really good at and manipulate it to react at his will, in a way like wrestling of my body away from me.

So actually although I have never experienced this before, but if a dominant could make me cum from verbal commands, I think that would be amazing. But clearly it takes training and haven't really had one who is committed to work it to that stage.

As for the psychological side of it. I just like being second in command to somebody who i admire and respect and adore. I hate leading. I want someone to lead in our family nucleus. And I want to be his most valuable assistant.

But if I rationalise everything. I was never safe by the ones who were suppose to protect me and lead me. Aka my parents. They were my abusers.

So for me, it's extremely intoxicating to be able feel safe with someone on the level, where I can be completely helpless and under his control, and knowing he would never harm me.

I boil everything down to a need to feel completely safe with someone.

I cannot experience this with a vanilla, because, I need the person to have dark needs and to be able to regulate and control his own dark needs to not harm me with it.

It's like, I love the feeling of feeling safe with a wild full grown tiger or lion. Knowing it is dangerous but it won't eat me up. And honestly, I will probably be one of those idiots who think wild animals are safe. And won't be surprise if that's how I die some day. If I disappeared from this forum, and ya see in the news Chinese girl got eaten up by some wild animals. That's probably me.

Because that's one of my biggest fantasies. Not to be eaten by a wild tiger or lion, but to be able to interact and touch a wild tiger or lion and not get eaten up. But to make that dream come true. Comes with huge risks.

BUT I will probably be eaten or killed in the process. But also, I am totally unafraid and reckless like that, even with dogs, when they are viscious growling and barking at me, I move forward and touch them, I put my hands through people's gates to touch their hostile huge guard dogs, whenever I am in the mountains, any wild animal I see, I walk towards them, and try to touch them. Most of the time, they will run away. I will never blame the animal. If they reject me, they reject me. I understand and I know the risks.

There is this venomous snake who's venom could kill you in 1.5 hours that I saw in my hikes, that was jumping and hissing at me. I just walked towards it, and got closer and closer, talking to it and it got more and more piss off at me. In the end, it just slithered away. And my friends think I am fucking crazy. But that's me. I rather die by an animal than by disease.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 12/23/2016 8:09:06 PM >

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

RE: What Dominants do for me - 12/23/2016 7:56:26 PM

Posts: 5079
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

What I enjoy is completely losing control my body to someone. I love feeling helpless. I love a dominant who can seriously play with my body like an instrument he is really good at and manipulate it to react at his will, in a way like wrestling of my body away from me.

So actually although I have never experienced this before, but if a dominant could make me cum from verbal commands, I think that would be amazing. But clearly it takes training and haven't really had one who is committed to work it to that stage.

As for the psychological side of it. I just like being second in command to somebody who i admire and respect and adore. I hate leading. I want someone to lead in our family nucleus. And I want to be his most valuable assistant.

My Master did that to me. He can actually play with my cunt with his voice... like his vocal chords vibrate inside me. He can do amazing things with his voice inside me... it is amazing.

(in reply to Greta75)

RE: What Dominants do for me - 12/23/2016 7:59:50 PM

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Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka
My Master did that to me. He can actually play with my cunt with his voice... like his vocal chords vibrate inside me. He can do amazing things with his voice inside me... it is amazing.

Yea, I am sure! It's like, I know the techniques, I can even teach the man how to make it happen, but just never been in a long term enough serious bdsm relationship to really make it happen.

To me, this is something, you want to do with someone you will be forever with. And I haven't met that person.

(in reply to tamaka)

RE: What Dominants do for me - 12/23/2016 8:04:48 PM

Posts: 5079
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka
My Master did that to me. He can actually play with my cunt with his voice... like his vocal chords vibrate inside me. He can do amazing things with his voice inside me... it is amazing.

Yea, I am sure! It's like, I know the techniques, I can even teach the man how to make it happen, but just never been in a long term enough serious bdsm relationship to really make it happen.

To me, this is something, you want to do with someone you will be forever with. And I haven't met that person.

: ) i hope You find Him. It took me 10 years. By the time i found Him i was giving up... maybe that's how it is supposed to be...anyways, He surprised me with this trick because i honestly had no idea there was such a thing that could be done!

(in reply to Greta75)

RE: What Dominants do for me - 12/23/2016 9:00:27 PM

Posts: 5490
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quote:

the magical place where Master and slave are no longer mere mortals but more of eternal beings/spirits interconnecting in such a special and intimate way that they become one... she becomes an extension of Him. What you described is a prerequisite for that process to happen.

Never encountered that, or at least I don't recognize it, so am going to have to accept your claim and admit envy. Go you babe!

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to tamaka)

RE: What Dominants do for me - 12/23/2016 9:08:10 PM

Posts: 5490
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quote:

But if I rationalise everything.

Oh yes isn't that so annoying. when all you want is to get fucked that stupid voice says "Yes dead, but why" ...why...my cunt is wet and there is a bid heard dick, what more why is needed!~?!

quote:

So for me, it's extremely intoxicating to be able feel safe with someone on the level, where I can be completely helpless and under his control, and knowing he would never harm me.

I agree, but to be honest,while "knowing" I will not come to harm, knowing that my Fellas know enough about me to cause me harm at a moment's notice is entirely intoxicating, that they won't, but they can.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to Greta75)

RE: What Dominants do for me - 12/23/2016 9:10:10 PM

Posts: 5490
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

What I enjoy is completely losing control my body to someone. I love feeling helpless. I love a dominant who can seriously play with my body like an instrument he is really good at and manipulate it to react at his will, in a way like wrestling of my body away from me.

So actually although I have never experienced this before, but if a dominant could make me cum from verbal commands, I think that would be amazing. But clearly it takes training and haven't really had one who is committed to work it to that stage.

As for the psychological side of it. I just like being second in command to somebody who i admire and respect and adore. I hate leading. I want someone to lead in our family nucleus. And I want to be his most valuable assistant.

My Master did that to me. He can actually play with my cunt with his voice... like his vocal chords vibrate inside me. He can do amazing things with his voice inside me... it is amazing.

oooh I envy you, and yet do not. that is an equal Yum and Yuk thing to me.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to tamaka)

RE: What Dominants do for me - 12/23/2016 9:12:22 PM

Posts: 5490
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka
My Master did that to me. He can actually play with my cunt with his voice... like his vocal chords vibrate inside me. He can do amazing things with his voice inside me... it is amazing.

Yea, I am sure! It's like, I know the techniques, I can even teach the man how to make it happen, but just never been in a long term enough serious bdsm relationship to really make it happen.

To me, this is something, you want to do with someone you will be forever with. And I haven't met that person.

: ) i hope You find Him. It took me 10 years. By the time i found Him i was giving up... maybe that's how it is supposed to be...anyways, He surprised me with this trick because i honestly had no idea there was such a thing that could be done!

Funny isn't it. When you find the right one, even if he doesn't know it, he is the one. Sometimes you have to train him how to use you right.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to tamaka)

RE: What Dominants do for me - 12/23/2016 9:19:29 PM

Posts: 5079
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

What I enjoy is completely losing control my body to someone. I love feeling helpless. I love a dominant who can seriously play with my body like an instrument he is really good at and manipulate it to react at his will, in a way like wrestling of my body away from me.

So actually although I have never experienced this before, but if a dominant could make me cum from verbal commands, I think that would be amazing. But clearly it takes training and haven't really had one who is committed to work it to that stage.

As for the psychological side of it. I just like being second in command to somebody who i admire and respect and adore. I hate leading. I want someone to lead in our family nucleus. And I want to be his most valuable assistant.

My Master did that to me. He can actually play with my cunt with his voice... like his vocal chords vibrate inside me. He can do amazing things with his voice inside me... it is amazing.

oooh I envy you, and yet do not. that is an equal Yum and Yuk thing to me.

Lol... it can be quite a dilemma!

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

RE: What Dominants do for me - 12/23/2016 9:20:58 PM

Posts: 5079
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka
My Master did that to me. He can actually play with my cunt with his voice... like his vocal chords vibrate inside me. He can do amazing things with his voice inside me... it is amazing.

Yea, I am sure! It's like, I know the techniques, I can even teach the man how to make it happen, but just never been in a long term enough serious bdsm relationship to really make it happen.

To me, this is something, you want to do with someone you will be forever with. And I haven't met that person.

: ) i hope You find Him. It took me 10 years. By the time i found Him i was giving up... maybe that's how it is supposed to be...anyways, He surprised me with this trick because i honestly had no idea there was such a thing that could be done!

Funny isn't it. When you find the right one, even if he doesn't know it, he is the one. Sometimes you have to train him how to use you right.

The only thing i've trained Him on is snuggling. : )
Everything else He's taught me... (so far)

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

RE: What Dominants do for me - 12/23/2016 9:59:28 PM

Posts: 5490
Status: offline

Pshaw and like snuggling is not majorly important!
Actually that is one thing I have fround almost every guy who claims to be dom needs to learn, that snuggling doesn't make you weak.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to tamaka)

RE: What Dominants do for me - 12/23/2016 10:41:55 PM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

For us this is more about the power than the kink. (Although we have a great deal of fun with the kink)

I'm an alpha personality, but I don't really enjoy being the person in control. I take the responsibility seriously so I end up agonizing and analyzing every decision. By giving up control it has allowed me to grow my strengths, just relax and focus on working on a happy life for us.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

RE: What Dominants do for me - 12/24/2016 4:32:08 PM

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Joined: 7/16/2016
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My dominant gave me much more than kink and sex. He gave me the freedom to relax into who I am, and accepted me as that person. I really never felt that I could be just me, but he made me comfortable in showing myself. I guess what he gave me was the feeling of safety..............

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: What Dominants do for me - 12/24/2016 6:44:32 PM

Posts: 5490
Status: offline

I am really loving the responses here.

quote:

the freedom to relax into who I am, and accepted me as that person.

yeah, I can really relate to that. To be accepted with all your dark secrets exposed is a wonderful thing.

One thing I am finding very interesting about the responses is the way that we are all basically saying that the dominant "allows" us to do/be something. I find this fascinating as so much of the externals are about the dominant requiring things, it is so nice to find that I am not alone in feeling I am being allowed, that the real core of what is going on is my being given permission to be freely myself.

it's almost as if the being "required' to do the kinky sex stuff is like just the payback we give them for allowing us to be free.

I kind of like that way of looking at it.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to kiwisub22)

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