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RE: worst thing your Dom/me can do - 7/26/2006 4:47:24 PM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		Everyone can do bad things, and I do not know that they are always done on a completely conscious level.

For me, the worst was not one thing, but a series of things that culminated to a lot of destruction.

First there was the build up of trust and a culling of a profound depth of emotion within me.  After time went by and I was firmly planted in my total submission and love, there was a drastic change of rules.  Almost everything that was once up, became down, that sort of thing, with the rational that... if you love me and are as deeply submitted to me as you say you are, and as I wish my slave to be,  you will trust me and we will work through your 'hang ups' about my new decisions together...

The together part is what kept me going... How could I not try to be better for him, when he was going to show me how, when he would help me?

What seemed the worst to me was when that stopped being the case, the 'together' that is.  When I struggled (and I struggled hard) with these things which, from the very beginning I had always stated were things I could not and would not deal with (and was legitimately trying to overcome for him, even if in a very ungraceful manner)... when I floundered, failed, and often times weeping and emotionally ragged came to him for help and was told (in summary) that I was crazy, not submissive enough and to get over it or be gone... that to me felt like abandonment, while sort of keeping me there physically to take care of the housekeeping.   I know he doesn't see it that way (in fact when I told him it felt like I was being abandoned, I can not tell you the wrath that incurred), and there are always two  (and equally legitimate) sides to the story.  Let me give him his due... it can not have been fun for him, wanting so much for me to change into what he wanted...wanting me to be so much more than I was, and my continual stumbling and disappointing him ... and all the emotions that went with that for both him and me... I am sure that is very hard for an owner, who is supposed to be being served and getting pleasure from his property. 

But, to me, that sort of abandonment was so terrible, was the absolute worst... it has destroyed huge parts of me and taken away so many parts of who I once was, that I really don't recognize this thing that is me.. or that which is left of me.

We have to be very careful in what we do.  I walked into this eagerly for the absolute love and devotion I had (and still do) for him.  I guess we make and allow what is the worst for ourselves.

< Message edited by puella -- 7/26/2006 4:48:53 PM >

(in reply to babyboyk)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: worst thing your Dom/me can do - 7/26/2006 5:01:40 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		Being releases would be the worse thing.

Next would be those thin little twigs of his. OUCH!!!

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: worst thing your Dom/me can do - 7/26/2006 6:52:50 PM   
irishbynature


Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline 		Telling me I have to be quiet for ANY length of time! (grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrh)

_____________________________


What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller


(in reply to tangria)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: worst thing your Dom/me can do - 7/26/2006 7:54:55 PM   
mellian


Posts: 211
Joined: 9/6/2004
Status: offline 		Ignored, abandonment and doing something to completly ruin my trust.

-mellian 

_____________________________

Since my pic link doesn't work, here is my profile:

http://www.collarme.com/bdsm/v/50276/details.htm

(in reply to babyboyk)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: worst thing your Dom/me can do - 7/26/2006 9:20:31 PM   
DreamyLadySnow


Posts: 359
Joined: 1/23/2005
Status: offline 		How does being ignored, instead of addressing the issue, make the relationship stronger or build trust?
Seriously, I don't get it.

LS

(in reply to tangria)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: worst thing your Dom/me can do - 7/26/2006 10:39:09 PM   
suggababy23


Posts: 73
Joined: 10/16/2005
Status: offline 		Ignoring me and lying.  Those are worst than just about any physical punishment that I can think of. 

(in reply to DreamyLadySnow)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: worst thing your Dom/me can do - 7/27/2006 11:11:07 PM   
coca


Posts: 53
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		mentally :

* ignoring
* loosing the communication
* loosing trust ( lie )

physically :

* forcing me to do some stupid chores again and again ( like ironing the same clothes again)
* and forcing some activities (more than my limits)  e.g whipping limit or spanking limit etc...

(in reply to suggababy23)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: worst thing your Dom/me can do - 7/27/2006 11:26:16 PM   
grneyedgirl


Posts: 65
Joined: 7/23/2006
Status: offline 		being ignored for no reason...

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*A subby -always- has the last word in any arguement.. YES MASTER*

(in reply to coca)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: worst thing your Dom/me can do - 7/28/2006 12:02:51 AM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline 		i think the worst thing Any Dom/me can do to Any sub..  "closeting"... as in keeping him/ her secret because of needing to keep up appearances on His/ Her end, deceit, ext.

Not claiming is probably the most painful thing i can imagine, because a large part of the serving is being proud to be Your sub/ slave, and being recognised as a cherished jewel, whether that be as romantic partner or as property.  i have seen subs going thru this almost wither in the submissive spirit.

as for my Own,  worst thing the Mister does is withhold sex.  Almost impossible to imagine a male that can do that, but Mister knows that 3 days without is the surest way to hint me that something isn't right.  (He's still learning to communicate as a Dominant, He's developed "punishment techniques" over the years without ever learning the constructive ways that i understood, but that's changing. Or i am changing, i can spot it for what it is now, and respond by correcting the behavior He's addressing non-verbally.)

So my second vote on worst thing a Dom/me can do would be
trying to correct behavior using ESP.


(in reply to grneyedgirl)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: worst thing your Dom/me can do - 7/28/2006 1:03:56 AM   
kisshou


Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		ignore me

(in reply to babyboyk)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: worst thing your Dom/me can do - 7/28/2006 3:45:42 AM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		ignore me
have a look of disappointment in his eyes


_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to kisshou)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: worst thing your Dom/me can do - 7/28/2006 5:24:18 AM   
peterK50


Posts: 433
Joined: 1/12/2006
Status: offline 		Make me paint, I HATE painting.

_____________________________

Religion Is About Seeking Knowledge, Not Knowing All The Answers.

(in reply to cuddleheart50)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: worst thing your Dom/me can do - 7/28/2006 5:36:14 AM   
cheshireboy


Posts: 217
Joined: 5/10/2006
Status: offline 		dismissial.
 
cheshire
"a typo is a way of life"

(in reply to tangria)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: worst thing your Dom/me can do - 7/28/2006 8:28:06 AM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Mavis, three days without sex?
!!!???
Now THAT is cruel and Sadistic!!!

(in reply to cheshireboy)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: worst thing your Dom/me can do - 7/28/2006 8:45:59 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		LIE

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to babyboyk)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: worst thing your Dom/me can do - 7/28/2006 9:53:36 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		Coach me on the golf course when i'm beating Him

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to babyboyk)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: worst thing your Dom/me can do - 7/28/2006 3:37:13 PM   
corsetgirl


Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: txpet

For me the worst thing is being ignored


Yeah, I would say that is the worst because this punishment can carry on forever!  Give me a swift punishment and be done with it! 

I guess that may have a lot to do with my upbringing because some members of my family would carry that anger for days!

(in reply to txpet)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: worst thing your Dom/me can do - 8/15/2006 7:48:28 AM   
babyboyk


Posts: 90
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline 		i guess being ignored seems to be the most common punishment, as im guessing the sub/slave ends up punnishing themselves, never a good thing (i guess it saves the Dom/me a job i supose. lol), but like most i prefer a swift punishment, so the incident is over and done with

(in reply to corsetgirl)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: worst thing your Dom/me can do - 8/15/2006 8:22:47 AM   
Cutiepie74019


Posts: 106
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline 		definetly being ignored



_____________________________

"There are thorns everywhere, but along the path of vice, roses bloom above them."

Marquis DeSade

(in reply to tangria)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: worst thing your Dom/me can do - 8/15/2006 12:20:15 PM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		To physically strike without control, blame or punish the sub for the Dom's short comings, to lie, to be self focused, and generally to lack integrity or compassion.

(in reply to babyboyk)
Profile   Post #: 40
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