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Have fem dommes gone completely over the top insane? - 6/19/2017 8:24:28 AM

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Who ever came up with the insane notion that a 'twu slave' is one who has no wants or desires? That strikes me as brainless insanity. Do slaves actually gamble with their lives like that? Trusting someone who admits they have no interest in their well being?

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RE: Have fem dommes gone completely over the top insane? - 6/19/2017 8:25:26 AM

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Findoms don't have to be real. If crazy and desperate has money-take it.

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RE: Have fem dommes gone completely over the top insane? - 6/19/2017 8:29:04 AM

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so these profiles seeking twu slaves to move in 24/7, are really fin dommes in disguise?

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RE: Have fem dommes gone completely over the top insane? - 6/19/2017 8:30:25 AM

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I did say 'fEm' not fin in the title, could have you confused the title?

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RE: Have fem dommes gone completely over the top insane? - 6/19/2017 8:39:37 AM

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You see a lot of male fetishists who talk like that. As a result, new dommes get the idea that unless they cater to that, they can't find a sub.

Watch porn aimed for male subs. It's all like this because that's what wannabe male subs fantasize about. It's not, of course, how you have a real relationship.

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RE: Have fem dommes gone completely over the top insane? - 6/19/2017 11:26:50 AM

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I see just as many female Dommes who think it is all about them and the slave does not have any say. These are internet born fantasy people. It is not just due to male porn. Some people are selfish, some people are dysfunctional and some have no idea of what it takes for a relationship to grow.

The reality is that is takes 2 people to make a relationship work. Both people will have wants and needs. For the relationship to grow both people must get their needs met. That is true whether or not BDSM is involved.

A sub/slave has rights. They always have the right to say no. They can walk away from the relationship at any time. The fantasy internet world of BDSM causes some people believe otherwise. In reality, everyone has basic inalienable rights.

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RE: Have fem dommes gone completely over the top insane? - 6/20/2017 7:31:34 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
You see a lot of male fetishists who talk like that. As a result, new dommes get the idea that unless they cater to that, they can't find a sub.

Watch porn aimed for male subs. It's all like this because that's what wannabe male subs fantasize about. It's not, of course, how you have a real relationship.

I've always thought the problem with the male fetishists was that they pretend to want to fulfill the desires of others when it's really their own desires.
Certain dommes are the ones who want to 'correct' this by saying that 'true' male subs would serve them without considering their own desires at all.

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RE: Have fem dommes gone completely over the top insane? - 6/20/2017 8:29:24 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: heavyblinker

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
You see a lot of male fetishists who talk like that. As a result, new dommes get the idea that unless they cater to that, they can't find a sub.

Watch porn aimed for male subs. It's all like this because that's what wannabe male subs fantasize about. It's not, of course, how you have a real relationship.

I've always thought the problem with the male fetishists was that they pretend to want to fulfill the desires of others when it's really their own desires.
Certain dommes are the ones who want to 'correct' this by saying that 'true' male subs would serve them without considering their own desires at all.

yes, thankfully theres no pretense with the solution, the fin and own all your assets dommes? you believe its because males all want their fetish itch scratched?

So what about focusing on dominant or submissive as a relationship prerequisite are those not fetishs?

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Democracy; The 'People' voted on 'which' amendment?

Yesterdays tinfoil is today's reality!

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RE: Have fem dommes gone completely over the top insane? - 6/20/2017 8:34:19 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DocStrange

I see just as many female Dommes who think it is all about them and the slave does not have any say.

The reality is that is takes 2 people to make a relationship work.

I have often pondered where the 'its all about ME' crowd came from? Strikes me as unreasonable as you said.

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"We the Borg" of the us imperialists....resistance is futile

Democracy; The 'People' voted on 'which' amendment?

Yesterdays tinfoil is today's reality!

"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session

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RE: Have fem dommes gone completely over the top insane? - 6/20/2017 9:01:29 AM

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I usually refer to them as bad stereotypes but I also say there is no such thing as true slaves etc. But because so many people are prepared to enable that mind set you become alienated, banned etc when you point out the flaws and who is doing it and why. It actually breaks my heart over the many years I have been coming onto these sites and seeing what people write. God forbid if you speak out against things like that on eg that other place. Far as I can make it out it has become a concentrate of all that is wrong on sites. Poly and looking just don’t tell the partner. In wonderful relationships but just hanging about on eg forums for people to feed my fragile fractured ego. On and on I could go as some of you are well aware.

But I dated a pro dome a long time ago and she was a nice enough person and it would be unfair of me to comment further on that.

When I sign on eg here almost every profile displayed on my main page is a financial dome or hot lesbian – Sure I get many are blokes and scammers but after your first few thousand it’s hard not to get fed up with it and pissed off.

What surprised me about this place is that whilst there are relatively few people on the forums the quality of mind and opinion is very good, exceptional even.

You go to that other place, as an example, then go look at what is getting said on half a dozen forums and by whom and why.

What kind of message is that to send to ordinary people, included are those bad mad stereotypical patently false information, demands, and expectations, on certain sites.

I get we are all different and want different things. But they should be tethered to reality and I get people can have fantasies

One of my many forums bans on that other place was me saying there is no such thing as a tru slave - and half them were screaming at me for saying that

So real0ne I dont understand the term twu slave - to me its a load of bollocks for a variety of reasons, and propagating the myth, enabling that mythology, etc is a dangerous thing to do.

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RE: Have fem dommes gone completely over the top insane? - 6/20/2017 9:35:09 AM

MAINEiacMISTRESS

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne

Who ever came up with the insane notion that a 'twu slave' is one who has no wants or desires? That strikes me as brainless insanity. Do slaves actually gamble with their lives like that? Trusting someone who admits they have no interest in their well being?

I think this has nothing to do with gender of the "dominant". I've seen many male dominant profiles, and had conversations with some, who thought their female subs should give up ALL free thought (including thoughts of self-preservation) and do everything and anything for their Dom, even to the point of danger.

I have to agree with you though, there are many dominants out there who seem outright NUTS, and even DANGEROUS, IMO. Perhaps they are inexperienced and overzealous trying to impress. I see the same disfunction in some of the subs I've conversed with over the years. I think we've all seen "red flags" at some point.

Every relationship is different, and every sub (and Domme/Dom) is different. Each good D/s relationship is a combination of factors that work for the specific persons involved. There is no rule written in stone that says you MUST do this/that to be "TWU". If a particular person's expectations don't work for you look for another until you find the right match.

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RE: Have fem dommes gone completely over the top insane? - 6/20/2017 9:42:16 AM

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"I've seen many male dominant profiles, and had conversations with some, who thought their female subs should give up ALL free thought (including thoughts of self-preservation) and do everything and anything for their Dom, even to the point of danger. " if it wasnt clear from my post - I was also including that lot thanks for writing in better than I could've :) I became saturated and overloaded with profiles like that a long time ago and believe them, that mindset, to be the many these days.

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We SAtuRaTe yOur aLPHA brain WAveS, ThIs is nOt A DrEAm The wiZaRd of Oz, shoES, CaLcuLUs, DECorAtiNG, FrIDGE SProcKeTs, be VeRy sCareDed – SLoBbers,We DeEManDErs Sloowee DAnCiNG, SmOOches – whisper whisper & CaAkEE

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RE: Have fem dommes gone completely over the top insane? - 6/21/2017 8:03:55 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS

quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne

Who ever came up with the insane notion that a 'twu slave' is one who has no wants or desires? That strikes me as brainless insanity. Do slaves actually gamble with their lives like that? Trusting someone who admits they have no interest in their well being?

I think this has nothing to do with gender of the "dominant". I've seen many male dominant profiles, and had conversations with some, who thought their female subs should give up ALL free thought (including thoughts of self-preservation) and do everything and anything for their Dom, even to the point of danger.

Thanks but this is not about what does or does not work for me, its about loonytune dommes, unless you are attempting to 'apologize' for over the top lunacy of so many dommes out here?

I can see why sydney is conducting studies out here since its such fertile ground for proving freud correct after all.

The exception proves the rule. I did not say or imply there were zero males out here that are not just as bad if not worse, What I am saying is there is a much larger percentage of women that exhibit over the top dysfunctional disorders in the name of 'Domme' than men in the name of 'Dom' with that regard.

_____________________________

"We the Borg" of the us imperialists....resistance is futile

Democracy; The 'People' voted on 'which' amendment?

Yesterdays tinfoil is today's reality!

"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session

(in reply to MAINEiacMISTRESS)

RE: Have fem dommes gone completely over the top insane? - 6/22/2017 1:35:15 PM

MistrssSinclaire

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The way it has been presented and explained to Me, and the way I have always understood it is that even in a slave/Mistress or Master relationship, SSC (Safe Sane Consensual) is always the rule. Any Top that doesnt understand this or practice this is severely handicapped in Their understanding or growth as a Dominant and puts their bottoms in danger and doesnt know what They are doing.

But the relationships have been defined to Me as this:

A submissive has a voice, opinions, and the right to freely express them to their Dominant as long as they ask politely to speak and share their opinions on the play/session or their needs and desires communicating with the Dominant giving feedback to Them.
A Dominant is to always value these opinions and feelings and to allow their subs to speak and communicate as long as its in a respectful and informational way in order to further enhance the play with their subs and not to get snarky or be rude or disrespectful to the Dominant.

A pet sub (pony puppy kitty bunny or other type pet) is the same as above for normal subs only they are pets as well and enjoy being a pet or pet/animal like to their Dominant. They too have a voice, opinions, and are free to expression them and talk about it.

A bratty sub/pet is allowed to backtalk or get snippy or be obstinate because that is part of the kink and fetish of having a bratty sub. The snarkier they are the more spankings and punishments they earn from their Dominant and that is part of the fun. ;)

A slave HAS no voice, opinion, rights, or freedoms to speak freely or tell the Dominant what they like or dont like, will or wont do, because they are a slave fully 100% owned and controlled by their Dominant who can do as they please to them. But here is where it gets tricky and most people don't understand this... just because a person is a slave with no voice or opinions or the ability to say NO to You and that they do not want something or for You to do a specific something to them, that does NOT mean or give You the right to put their LIVES in danger or do inhumanly CRUEL things to them that could maim them for life, kill them, alter their bodies in a way that can never be reversed, or allow your slave to DIE or be MALNOURISHED/STARVED and or BEAT them mercilessly. You can whip them and spank them and punish them, but without proper after care or attention to helping them recover, this is INHUMANE and ILLEGAL.

The "noob" Dominant on the block who thinks they can treat a slave however they wish, even unto the point of WRONG abuse and or DEATH/MAIMING, is sorely mistaken and VERY dangerous to a new slave that doesnt understand these key points and facts. The "noob" slave will hookup with this poorly untrained uneducated Dom/Domme out of pure desperation, and as is often the case, they will be abused and neglected and used and some even DIE at the hands of an inexperienced Dominant that doesnt know HOW to do proper breath play, knife play, fire play, or other dangerous scenarios that most experienced Dominants know well that have trained in such things properly and safely.

But lets not shame ALL the fem Dommes out there for simply having a fetish of wanting a slave whether male or female that doesn't talk back ever and does as instructed 24/7 365. There ARE people out there that live that type of relationship and do it well and above all, SAFELY, so its not our place to shame one kink or type of fetish and lifestyle that others enjoy.
But yes, we should make people aware that they should KNOW THEIR DOMINANT before consenting to ANY play and it should always be SSC with certain boundaries, even if you have to get it in legal writing as a contract.

As for financial Dominants... I dont see the harm in a sub or slave or pet wanting to hand over all their money and possessions/assets to a Dominant who will take control over it. For some bottoms, they are TERRIBLE with money and waste it, and so their fetish is to have a mommy or daddy type FinDominant to take control of this habit and curb it and make sure they dont. The issue with this is really only two things:
1. The sub/slave/pet that wishes to be financially controlled has NO SENSE whatsoever in their desperation on WHO IS a trustworthy, mature, respectful, and HONEST, finDominant to tell them apart from money scammers and fakes.
2. The "finDominants" who masquerade as such who lie, cheat, steal, and USE finslaves subs or pets to MAKE MONEY from them and steal blindly from them because hey, its EASY CASH.

Aside from that, the KINK itself or the willingness or need to fulfill it isnt to blame. Its all in the way you CHOOSE the people you wish to serve/obey and have a relationship with and IF you can trust them or not to be 100% REAL.
Thats ALWAYS been the problem in this lifestyle. There are "posers/wannabes" that USE people and lie.... and then there are the REAL Dominants and bottoms that actually WISH to serve/control and have a real working relationship.

I would argue that even BOTTOMS can play this game or headgames with Dominants. In My time as a Mistress I have met MANY false male subs/slaves that tried to manipulate Me and rush into something with Me not because they wanted to serve Me or worship at My feet and have a real relationship with Me... but rather they were just "looking for SOMEONE/ANYONE in the heat of the moment to 'play with' to get their rocks off and have THEIR fantasies and needs fulfilled while only attempting to toy with Me and lie to Me.

Just wanted to throw My thoughts out there on this subject from a Dominant females perspective. ;)
Not trying to pick a fight just trying to illuminate and share what I have learned from living this lifestyle over the years and what My views/definitions are.

BDSM is MANY different things to MANY different people and calling out a kink or fetish saying "Its wrong because so many people are doing it wrong and cant be trusted and are out of control!" isn't very mature. To each their own really. You just have to CHOOSE WISELY who you serve or who you control and how by actually having experience. All kinks/fetishes are valid, in My opinion, as long as they dont cause DEATH or PERMANENT INJURY/RUIN to someone.

~Mistress S.

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RE: Have fem dommes gone completely over the top insane? - 6/22/2017 1:41:21 PM

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Who are you to judge sit in judgement?

Sydney university is and has always been a sloppy false viral waffle are you that pathetic?

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We SAtuRaTe yOur aLPHA brain WAveS, ThIs is nOt A DrEAm The wiZaRd of Oz, shoES, CaLcuLUs, DECorAtiNG, FrIDGE SProcKeTs, be VeRy sCareDed – SLoBbers,We DeEManDErs Sloowee DAnCiNG, SmOOches – whisper whisper & CaAkEE

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RE: Have fem dommes gone completely over the top insane? - 6/23/2017 5:11:25 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedsDesire

Who are you to judge sit in judgement?

Sydney university is and has always been a sloppy false viral waffle are you that pathetic?

what kind of screwball juvenile statement in the form of question is that? I imagine you expect me to shut my brain off like you

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"We the Borg" of the us imperialists....resistance is futile

Democracy; The 'People' voted on 'which' amendment?

Yesterdays tinfoil is today's reality!

"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session

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RE: Have fem dommes gone completely over the top insane? - 6/24/2017 2:36:37 AM

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quote:

Who ever came up with the insane notion that a 'twu slave' is one who has no wants or desires?

Someone who wants that in a slave, duh.

quote:

That strikes me as brainless insanity.

Somebody wanting something you don't doesn't necessarily make them insane , it makes them incompatible with you.

quote:

Do slaves actually gamble with their lives like that? Trusting someone who admits they have no interest in their well being?

I don't know if they really do, but I have seen a goodly number of people saying they do.

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RE: Have fem dommes gone completely over the top insane? - 6/24/2017 2:38:47 AM

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quote:

A slave HAS no voice, opinion, rights, or freedoms to speak freely or tell the Dominant what they like or dont like, will or wont do, because they are a slave fully 100% owned and controlled by their Dominant who can do as they please to them.

Oh bullshit.

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RE: Have fem dommes gone completely over the top insane? - 6/24/2017 10:22:06 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistrssSinclaire

The way it has been presented and explained to Me, and the way I have always understood it is that even in a slave/Mistress or Master relationship, SSC (Safe Sane Consensual) is always the rule.

It's been explained wrongly to you, and you've misunderstood.
SSC isn't always the rule, neither in M/s relationships, nor in other types of kink relationships. There's a whole lot of people who don't ascribe to SSC (myself included) and have a different practicing philosophy. RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) being the most well known besides SSC.

I don't follow SSC, because I engage in a whole bunch of things which just plainly aren't safe, nor would be considered sane, by the vast majority of people.

In that sense, what I do is much closer to RACK than to SSC, but I can't even claim I follow RACK either, because I engage in consensual non-consent.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistrssSinclaire

A Dominant is to always value these opinions and feelings

Always value these opinions? What nonsense... what if the opinion is just plain wrong? Should I then still value it?

If anybody comes to me and utters sheer nonsense, I have no value whatsoever for their opinion or their feelings about their opinion. I don't attribute some sort of make believe value to things which are idiocy.
And that has nothing to do with whether that person is submissive or not.

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 6/24/2017 10:47:16 AM >

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RE: Have fem dommes gone completely over the top insane? - 6/24/2017 4:00:43 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne
Who ever came up with the insane notion that a 'twu slave' is one who has no wants or desires? That strikes me as brainless insanity. Do slaves actually gamble with their lives like that? Trusting someone who admits they have no interest in their well be-

If you took a poll right now asking folks how many of their employers care about their wants and desires, on a realistic level, what percentage do you think you'd get back?

This isn't to say that M-types don't care about well being. Think about it. Most employers have to follow OSHA, EPA and other regulations, 'cause they're responsible. (That, and they don't want to be fined,)

Des hit a part of this, right on the head.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
You see a lot of male fetishists who talk like that. As a result, new dommes get the idea that unless they cater to that, they can't find a sub.

Watch porn aimed for male subs. It's all like this because that's what wannabe male subs fantasize about. It's not, of course, how you have a real relationship.

A lot of this crap stems from porn. It becomes a cycle. Male fetishists want and newbie female Dommes, get that exposure. They *think* that's the way to respond. Next time you're looking around, see how many porn influenced stereotypes you can spot.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne

quote:

ORIGINAL: DocStrange
The reality is that is takes 2 people to make a relationship work.

If one equates all dynamics as "relationships," that might be correct. Not all of us put the romantic/emotional attachment into this thing. I don't always have the "in love" thing with my secondaries. I get that fulfillment from my primary relationship.

quote:

I have often pondered where the 'its all about ME' crowd came from? Strikes me as unreasonable as you said.

Allow me to assure you... This stuff is about me. I don't hide it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistrssSinclaire

The way it has been presented and explained to Me, and the way I have always understood it is that even in a slave/Mistress or Master relationship, SSC (Safe Sane Consensual) is always the rule.

Who on God's Green Earth taught you that?

Some people just plain shouldn't teach.

If you really believe that, you should get out more.

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