RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website - 8/26/2017 2:27:40 PM

ThatDizzyChick

Posts: 5490
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

But apparently only your definition of 'slave' is right

I never said anything like that, so take your stupid strawman, shove it up your ass, and fuck off.

You claimed the inverse of it, by asserting that a theory of slavery where enforcement is required was wrong (smh worthy even), and by proclaiming that if obedience isn't SOP, then the thing being discussed isn't voluntary slavery.

Once again, shove your bullshit strawman up your ass and fuck off.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website - 8/26/2017 2:28:06 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

As long as he enjoys having to force you to do stuff all the time... i guess it's all good.

Huh... where would you get the assumption that he does?

Seems like he must always be on his guard and ready to since he can't assume you'll obey.

You mean how like people in a leadership roles must actually be ready and willing to lead?

Yeah, the burden of command sucks like that.

And while he can't just assume I will obey, he's pretty good at predicting whether I will or not...

Seeing that you, personally, can't seem to think in anything but the simplest of examples, tamaka... think of it this way:
Plantation slaves in the 1800s... did they need to be whipped for every individual fluff of cotton they picked, or was the general knowledge that they could be whipped for failing to meet quotas usually sufficient to get them to comply?
How often do you think the average slave was actually disciplined in order to get them to obey commands?
And if, on a certain plantation, slaves would figure out that they would not be disciplined, not matter what they did, even with full out disobedience, do you think they would keep picking cotton?

My relationship is the same way. If Ullr tells me to do something, I know that if I don't comply there will be consequences.
If consequences fail to produce the desired results, he will use physical force in an ever escalating pattern, until he gets what he wants. My option to stop that sequence it to leave the relationship. Barring that, he'll do what it takes to get what he wants.
It means that if he tells me to get him coffee, he gets it, because I'm unlikely to be willing to put up with the consequences for not getting him coffee.
But likewise, he's not limited to only ordering me to do stuff I'd voluntarily obey him on. He can order me to do stuff I wouldn't or couldn't comply with on my own, and then make me do it anyways.

It results in a dynamic where I pretty much do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, but he's got to stay on top of the fact that he's actually getting it. He can't just give me an order, never check up on its compliance, and then forget about it indefinitely, trusting that it's just taken care of in perpetuity because he casually mentioned it once.
If he's not going to enforce obedience, and I don't feel like following the command, I won't do it.

I'm not in an obedience/pleasing dynamic with him. I have given no guaranty that I'll obey him, nor do I give a shit about pleasing him beyond how much he inspires me to care.
What I've done is given him the guarantee that I won't hold him enforcing my obedience against him legally, regardless of what methods he chooses to implement.
If he chooses to extract no obedience from me whatsoever, and let me do whatever I want, so be it.
Likewise, if he chooses to put me into a strict micromanagement situation where I cannot even refuse to comply, even if I wanted to, so be it as well.

It's his choice... He's the one responsible for getting him what he wants. I'm not the one responsible for giving it to him without any effort on his part.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to tamaka)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website - 8/26/2017 2:36:18 PM

tamaka

Posts: 5079
Status: offline

Well if that's what it takes for him to get what he wants and he's willing, able and desiring to live in that type of paradigm with you, i guess it's all good... at least for now.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website - 8/26/2017 2:43:53 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

at least for now.

At least for now is 7 years and counting, with us moving move more and more in this direction the longer we're together, instead of further away from it.

When we first got together, we tried the whole "I obey him just because I'm a slave, and that's what slaves are supposed to do" and it doesn't work. Not only is it impossible for me to enforce my obedience on myself with some of the things he expects of me, he also doesn't enjoy it when I try to, because it produces undesirable side effects, such as emotional guilt trips for failing to obey commands I don't have the fortitude or self-discipline to obey.

So he decided that, considering that he's the one in control, the onus for ensuring obedience would be on him, not me.
If he gives me a command, and I don't obey it, it's his fault, not mine. Again the same way it's the plantation owner's fault if he can't get his slaves to pick cotton, not the slaves' fault.

If he fails to get obedience, it's because he didn't do what was needed to get it, not because I somehow failed to be his.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to tamaka)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website - 8/26/2017 2:47:59 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

But apparently only your definition of 'slave' is right

I never said anything like that, so take your stupid strawman, shove it up your ass, and fuck off.

You claimed the inverse of it, by asserting that a theory of slavery where enforcement is required was wrong (smh worthy even), and by proclaiming that if obedience isn't SOP, then the thing being discussed isn't voluntary slavery.

Once again, shove your bullshit strawman up your ass and fuck off.

*shrug*

When you believe somebody's actually making strawman arguments, you don't act like this.

I'm sorry at how much the nerve I struck is upsetting you, but the constant dogma of "unenforced obedience as SOP is the only way to define voluntary slavery/submission" with every other thing being ridiculed as a failure on part of the s-type is getting old.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website - 8/26/2017 2:54:30 PM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: planff01

How can a master make his slave stop coming on the website after she is posted she is owned and collared by master

Tell her not to come to the website. If she disobeys, well, slave might not be the proper term for her.

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to planff01)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website - 8/26/2017 3:44:12 PM

tamaka

Posts: 5079
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

at least for now.

At least for now is 7 years and counting, with us moving move more and more in this direction the longer we're together, instead of further away from it.

When we first got together, we tried the whole "I obey him just because I'm a slave, and that's what slaves are supposed to do" and it doesn't work. Not only is it impossible for me to enforce my obedience on myself with some of the things he expects of me, he also doesn't enjoy it when I try to, because it produces undesirable side effects, such as emotional guilt trips for failing to obey commands I don't have the fortitude or self-discipline to obey.

So he decided that, considering that he's the one in control, the onus for ensuring obedience would be on him, not me.
If he gives me a command, and I don't obey it, it's his fault, not mine. Again the same way it's the plantation owner's fault if he can't get his slaves to pick cotton, not the slaves' fault.

If he fails to get obedience, it's because he didn't do what was needed to get it, not because I somehow failed to be his.

If my Master fails to get obedience it's because i have an attitude problem and He manages to get me through that pretty quickly.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website - 8/26/2017 3:47:35 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

If my Master fails to get obedience it's because i have an attitude problem and He manages to get me through that pretty quickly.

Exactly... if your Master fails to get obedience, it's his responsibility to fix it. Not yours.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to tamaka)

Profile

Post #: 48

RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website - 8/26/2017 3:51:13 PM

tamaka

Posts: 5079
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

If my Master fails to get obedience it's because i have an attitude problem and He manages to get me through that pretty quickly.

Exactly... if your Master fails to get obedience, it's his responsibility to fix it. Not yours.

I see. Of course i agree with you on that.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Profile

Post #: 49

RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website - 8/26/2017 4:12:59 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

If my Master fails to get obedience it's because i have an attitude problem and He manages to get me through that pretty quickly.

Exactly... if your Master fails to get obedience, it's his responsibility to fix it. Not yours.

I see. Of course i agree with you on that.

Then you agree with me on everything.

Unless you're in a relationship where the slave has sworn obedience at the start, in which case failing to obey is the slave failing to live up to her promises, if you tell a slave to not go onto a certain website, it's the Master's responsibility to ensure that obedience happens, not the slave's.

If the Master has done his job properly so far, he ought to be able to get that obedience just by giving the command, because the slave knows him well enough to know there will be consequences for disobeying him, and dreads those consequences more than the benefit disobedience would render.
If the relationship is very new, or he's been lax in the past, he might have to do more than that, such as for example, punishing disobedience when it occurs, or controlling the slave's computer access so that disobedience is impossible (which is mostly only advisable if you don't want to make it into a teachable moment, because it doesn't make disobedience more unlikely in the future).

In the end though, whether the slave obeys or not is his responsibility. Not the slave failing or succeeding at keeping fulfilling their role properly.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to tamaka)

Profile

Post #: 50

RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website - 8/26/2017 4:32:14 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

Exactly... if your Master fails to get obedience, it's his responsibility to fix it. Not yours.

<Gag, gag, choke, chortle cough>

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Profile

Post #: 51

RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website - 8/26/2017 4:54:57 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
In the end though, whether the slave obeys or not is his responsibility. Not the slave failing or succeeding at keeping fulfilling their role properly.

No, it's not

Y'all have choices to obey, *because you entered this sh^t" of your own free will. If your JOB is to be involved in whatever you're doing, SO BE IT!

It's not my *job* to treat people like children if a person can't live up to their end, that's on them. Its not my job to coddle them, excuse them, or any other thing. Good to know that they expect a free pass because I'm responsible for their bulsh^t behavior.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Profile

Post #: 52

RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website - 8/26/2017 5:05:46 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
In the end though, whether the slave obeys or not is his responsibility. Not the slave failing or succeeding at keeping fulfilling their role properly.

No, it's not

Y'all have choices to obey, *because you entered this sh^t" of your own free will. If your JOB is to be involved in whatever you're doing, SO BE IT!

Again, if you want to enter into a relationship where the slave promises to obey you because they entered into the relationship and that's what they promises, more power to ya. In that circumstance you certainly have the right to claim that they failed to keep their end of the bargain if they fail to obey you.

However, that's not my reality. I haven't sworn obedience, and it certainly isn't my job to obey.

It's my 'job' to be Ullrs property. And being his property means acknowledging that he can do whatever he wants with me.
It does not mean "being responsible for doing whatever he says" no more than that it's his dog's responsibility to not eat a dog treat that gets dropped on the ground.

If Ullr wants his dog to not eat food when it drops on the ground, it's HIS responsibility, and not the dog's to ensure the dog is trained to obey him.
If the dog fails to obey him and eats the food anyways, what it means is that Ullr failed to sufficiently train the dog to obey him... it doesn't mean that the dog broke its side of the relationship and is now a 'crappy' dog.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
It's not my *job* to treat people like children if a person can't live up to their end, that's on them. Its not my job to coddle them, excuse them, or any other thing. Good to know that they expect a free pass because I'm responsible for their bulsh^t behavior.

Good for you.
As you'll note, I'm not in a D/s dynamic with you, and so you're free to hook up with any kind of s-type you like.

But I would kindly appreciate it if you'd quite telling me what my job is within my own damn relationship.
Because in this household, the responsibility for obedience falls on the one giving the commands, not the one getting them, and that applies for human and other pets/property alike.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 53

RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website - 8/26/2017 5:07:50 PM

kiwisub22

Posts: 450
Joined: 7/16/2016
Status: offline

I would agree with most of this - I'm an adult, I chose to enter a D/s relationship - where I and my dominant crafted our relationship - to include my obedience - even when he wasn't watching. Actually, for me, especially when he wasn't watching. I agreed to abide by his rules, and as an adult with integrity, that is exactly what I did.

I don't understand the idea that a "slave" will only obey her "master" when she feels like it, or can get away with not doing it. How is that a slave? For that matter, how is that any integrity?
If the slave is not obeying the master, then she isn't really a slave, and he isn't really a master. What they have, I think, is a vanilla relationship with kinky sex, or kinky overtones.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 54

RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website - 8/26/2017 5:14:27 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub22

where I and my dominant crafted our relationship - to include my obedience - even when he wasn't watching.

Exactly, you have crafted your relationship to include your obedience as an expectation.
Which means that if you fail to obey, you've violated the terms of your relationship.

The same way that if you promise to have a monogamous relationship, and you then fuck another person, you've failed to uphold your promises in the relationship.

However, do you not understand that there's other ways to set up relationships than yours?
If you agree to be poly, and you fuck somebody else within the terms of your poly relationship, you have not violated the terms of your relationship.

Just like if you don't swear obedience, and you then disobey, you've not violated the terms of your relationship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub22
For that matter, how is that any integrity?

How does integrity come into play, if no promises are broken, no agreements violated, and the terms of the relationship are upheld?

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to kiwisub22)

Profile

Post #: 55

RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website - 8/26/2017 5:36:17 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Umm, yeah. You're not getting over this time.

In my dynamics, we all have jobs to do. You'll have to excuse me that I think that.

After talking with Ullr, I came to a conclusion.

Due to your preposition regarding encounters,I would not risk myself.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Profile

Post #: 56

RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website - 8/26/2017 5:50:50 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Umm, yeah. You're not getting over this time.

In my dynamics, we all have jobs to do. You'll have to excuse me that I think that.

Of course we all have job.

You, however, don't get to define for Ullr and me what mine is.

BTW LP, as a military spouse, I'm really surprised that you're putting the responsibility for effective leadership on the subordinates, and not on the person carrying the command.

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 8/26/2017 5:57:38 PM >

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 57

RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website - 8/26/2017 6:32:14 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Umm, yeah. You're not getting over this time.

In my dynamics, we all have jobs to do. You'll have to excuse me that I think that.

Of course we all have job.

You, however, don't get to define for Ullr and me what mine is.

I was one of the greatest supporters for the recent encounters. However, I wouldn't be ok with it.

This "make Me" crap, doesn't sit well with me. I mean, if you want to disregard other people, that's fine, FOR YOU. Not for me.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Profile

Post #: 58

RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website - 8/26/2017 6:38:24 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I was one of the greatest supporters for the recent encounters. However, I wouldn't be ok with it.

This "make Me" crap, doesn't sit well with me. I mean, if you want to disregard other people, that's fine, FOR YOU. Not for me.

We're not talking about my recent encounter with Cali.

We're talking about how my relationship works. I have no idea what you're talking about on me disregarding other people.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 59

RE: how to keep my slave from coming to the website - 8/26/2017 7:16:43 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
BTW LP, as a military spouse, I'm really surprised that you're putting the responsibility for effective leadership on the subordinates, and not on the person carrying the command.

Damn right I do!

Do you really think I need MP to tell me what my responsibilities are? In case you missed it.., I was rather self--sufficient long before MP ever came along. Why would I need a so-called "leader"?

I'm responsible for me, toots. Who do you think takes care of this sh^t while the spouse is deployed?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Profile

Post #: 60