From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Admittedly, phat, pawg, thick and the like are over the borderline for conservative social norms in that they are sexualized comments... but I think your comment does not apply as an across the board rule of thumb, even if applicable to the above terms. Sure, everything is real in the mind of the beholder, to the beholder... but if an insane person sees black as white, it doesn't mean that is true. A person that sees a compliment within social norms as an insult, does not change the fact it was really a compliment.
If a man compliments an angry biased feminist that is truly very pretty, by saying that she looks pretty and she gets pissed at being objectified... the truth is still that she is pretty. So the compliment is real, whether she chooses to take it that way or not.
At least that is how I see it.
A compliment is in the mind of the complimented, not the complimenter.
-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.