When I was raised men were to be the aggressor and women were to be passive.
The old “men chase and women choose” concept.
But now it seems that if the “chase” is more than a onetime offer of dinner, it is sexual harassment. (In the work place asking twice can legally be considered sexual harassment)
So I guess my question is; are men to stop being the aggressor, stop chasing and just let women chase and choose?
Simply, YES, men are to stop being the aggressor stop chasing and just let women chase and choose.
The whole premise is wrong from the start -- you're conflating "pursuer" with "aggressor". They are two very different things.
Pursuing a women is asking her out and if she declines or acts wishy-washy, stop pursuing. There is no chasing her, just accepting rejection. After she says no, continuing after her is aggressive.
Being an aggressor is to get rejected, but then keep asking until she finally relents. It doesn't have to be in a "mean" manner, just unwanted. Aggressive acts in this sense may include gift-giving, dinner offers, flowers, etc.; acts that would be otherwise be considered nice or romantic.
Think Pepé le Pew. My instinct was to call him an extreme example, but with all the women coming out with stories of unwelcome or forced kissing, groping, hugging, etc. some men in power have taken his behavior as normal.
The answer here is simple. It's the same as the 2 consent threads you started.
If you're worried about being a harasser, just stop assuming there are mind games going on and (here's a totally! new! concept!) take no for no. If she is the kind to play mind games, she'll either miss out or let you know she actually is interested by saying so. Who wants to be with someone who plays mind games and doesn't just tell you what they want, anyway?
As far as the workplace goes, there's an old saying: don't shit where you eat.
I actually was kind enjoying your post until you decided to act like a jerk and started in with your; "(here's a totally! new! concept!) take no for no" idiocy and I thought I bet she also believes that the slogan "just say no to drugs" has stopped drug abuse. I hate to break it to you but real life just doesn't work that way.