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RE: Agressive Males? - 12/3/2017 7:33:21 PM   
LTE


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...and that is also not shit is men are supposed to be the aggressor and most women expect them to be so. That is coded in our chromosomes. The DNA for both genders. It's how the human race was designed. However, some women have bought in to the notion that they are not women by redefining what a man and a women are in relationship to each other and then find themselves on a forum justifying this irrational behavior. Take a Red Pill and call me in the morning.

(in reply to LTE)
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RE: Agressive Males? - 12/3/2017 7:39:20 PM   
Lucylastic


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LTE

...is shit. What is not shit is that some women are crazy enough to feel threatened when no threat is intended.

and what would you know about what women feel? Your imaginings are from a single source.
YOU
oh and you are Not a female

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(in reply to LTE)
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RE: Agressive Males? - 12/3/2017 7:47:21 PM   
longwayhome


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

No, saying you’re good to go if they don’t strongly shut you down, is not correct.
There’s not a woman on earth who hasn’t been threatened for saying no. We’re lucky if it stops with threats.

And it is never appropriate to cause a hostile work environment. Which is what happens when you view coworkers and subordinates as a pool of available vaginas.


Was that post really in response to me?

When I said that "I was never raised with concept of men being the aggressor and women being passive", it was not a denial that there are men who think that way but rather a statement that for me (thankfully) there has never any doubt in my head that kind of behaviour is completely unacceptable.

I have repeatedly posted in this kind of thread that I do not understand or accept any male attitude which bemoans how men are poor creatures who are put upon in today's workplace or dating culture, where somehow the slightest error can lead to a sincere individual being branded as a sexual harasser.

It is perfectly straightforward to treat the opposite sex properly, understand the meaning of the word "no" and to refrain from pressurising and harassing people. Men who don't understand the boundaries and claim that they can't act naturally because of "political correctness" have a strange idea of what is natural and respectful.

Incidentally the statement I made that anyone being the "aggressor" making me feel uncomfortable unless of course both parties have agreed that is how they like it was a reference to the fact that with proper explicit consent some people may like to engage in a situation where someone is a sexual aggressor. That may be in the context of a BDSM relationship where appropriate negotiation has taken place in advance, not a commonplace to be carried out if one party thinks the other one would like it that way. Feeling justified in being an "aggressor" just sounds like a male excuse for threatening, and possibly criminal, behaviour.

Contrary to the suggestions of some male posters, it isn't complicated to refrain avoid harassing your female work colleagues. As you suggest refraining from viewing "coworkers and subordinates as a pool of available vaginas" is a good start.

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: Agressive Males? - 12/3/2017 8:15:58 PM   
longwayhome


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LTE

...and that is also not shit is men are supposed to be the aggressor and most women expect them to be so. That is coded in our chromosomes. The DNA for both genders. It's how the human race was designed. However, some women have bought in to the notion that they are not women by redefining what a man and a women are in relationship to each other and then find themselves on a forum justifying this irrational behavior. Take a Red Pill and call me in the morning.


Do you seriously believe that or is it just a sad excuse for bad behaviour?

Both men and women can flirt and initiate explicitly sexual behaviour. Indeed it is quite comical to watch a man who thinks he is doing the chasing being reeled in by a woman who is in complete control of the situation.

Our DNA codes for men being on average bigger and stronger. Beyond that you are on pretty shaky ground. Is your reasoning based on caveman logic, or just reference to outdated patriarchal ideas of men choosing their partners and women just passively accepting? Do you really think that's how it was, even in the "good old days"? Or is that just your fantasy of how you would like things to be now?

And in reference to your previous post, why do you doubt that women sometimes find themselves subject to abusive behaviour when they say no? Try taking your head out of the sand, see what is around you and listen to what women are telling you.

All is requires is a respectful attitude and an open mind.

(in reply to LTE)
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RE: Agressive Males? - 12/3/2017 8:42:32 PM   
Milesnmiles


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quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods

Passive aggressive males in your case, judging from the whinily entitled bitching whenever you get onto this one, sweetie.
Hi Froggy, I was wondering how long it would take for you start trolling this thread.

What's the matter, couldn't come with a actual comment on the OP?

(in reply to WhoreMods)
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RE: Agressive Males? - 12/3/2017 8:44:50 PM   
Milesnmiles


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75


quote:

ORIGINAL: Milesnmiles
Interesting story and accept for him not being honest at first, seemed to be handled well.

He has a habit of lying about his occupation. When he first met me, he also lied to me about his occupation too. But they fell inlove and I don't think any woman would be unhappy that a man is actually making more money than he let up initially. But this woman is also wealthy in her own right as she is a rich kid with large inheritance from parents and the job was not important to her, as she wasn't wanting for money to start with. So it all worked out.

I'm glad it worked out for them, I just find that it is hard to trust someone who starts out by lying to you.

(in reply to Greta75)
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RE: Agressive Males? - 12/3/2017 8:48:55 PM   
ResidentSadist


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quote:

Would you like a club to go with the caveman concept?


I think it is all about communication and people reading skills. I have used the caveman w/club approach a multitude of times. But, I have enough empathy and intellect to only do that with cave women types, not fragile types or feminist that wouldn't appreciate or be receptive to it.

If you can't read people well enough to spot who has the same interests as you, you're gonna' ask all the wrong people out to dinner at the wrong time.

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RE: Agressive Males? - 12/3/2017 8:59:11 PM   
Milesnmiles


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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloverodella
quote:

ORIGINAL: Milesnmiles
When I was raised men were to be the aggressor and women were to be passive.

The old “men chase and women choose” concept.

But now it seems that if the “chase” is more than a onetime offer of dinner, it is sexual harassment. (In the work place asking twice can legally be considered sexual harassment)

So I guess my question is; are men to stop being the aggressor, stop chasing and just let women chase and choose?

Simply, YES, men are to stop being the aggressor stop chasing and just let women chase and choose.

The whole premise is wrong from the start -- you're conflating "pursuer" with "aggressor". They are two very different things.

Pursuing a women is asking her out and if she declines or acts wishy-washy, stop pursuing. There is no chasing her, just accepting rejection. After she says no, continuing after her is aggressive.

Being an aggressor is to get rejected, but then keep asking until she finally relents. It doesn't have to be in a "mean" manner, just unwanted. Aggressive acts in this sense may include gift-giving, dinner offers, flowers, etc.; acts that would be otherwise be considered nice or romantic.

Think Pepé le Pew. My instinct was to call him an extreme example, but with all the women coming out with stories of unwelcome or forced kissing, groping, hugging, etc. some men in power have taken his behavior as normal.

The answer here is simple. It's the same as the 2 consent threads you started.

If you're worried about being a harasser, just stop assuming there are mind games going on and (here's a totally! new! concept!) take no for no. If she is the kind to play mind games, she'll either miss out or let you know she actually is interested by saying so. Who wants to be with someone who plays mind games and doesn't just tell you what they want, anyway?

As far as the workplace goes, there's an old saying: don't shit where you eat.

I actually was kind enjoying your post until you decided to act like a jerk and started in with your; "(here's a totally! new! concept!) take no for no" idiocy and I thought I bet she also believes that the slogan "just say no to drugs" has stopped drug abuse. I hate to break it to you but real life just doesn't work that way.

(in reply to cloverodella)
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RE: Agressive Males? - 12/3/2017 8:59:46 PM   
Lucylastic


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You dont expect everyone to appreciate your "caveman with club" approach :)

Too many men dont have that filter.

_____________________________

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<) )╯SUCH
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\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
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(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
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(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Agressive Males? - 12/3/2017 9:17:28 PM   
Milesnmiles


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quote:

ORIGINAL: longwayhome
...

I have repeatedly posted in this kind of thread that I do not understand or accept any male attitude which bemoans how men are poor creatures who are put upon in today's workplace or dating culture, where somehow the slightest error can lead to a sincere individual being branded as a sexual harasser.
...

I found this to be interesting, I don't know about this "poor creatures" thing but will point out that I have started three threads just to have conversations about topics that seemed to be in the news and mostly to hear what others have to say on the subjects. For the most part I have not given my opinion on the subjects and yet without even knowing how I stand on the subject, I have been called a sexual harasser and an advocate for rape and that without the "slightest error".

(in reply to longwayhome)
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RE: Agressive Males? - 12/3/2017 9:33:08 PM   
cloverodella


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Milesnmiles

I actually was kind enjoying your post until you decided to act like a jerk and started in with your; "(here's a totally! new! concept!) take no for no" idiocy and I thought I bet she also believes that the slogan "just say no to drugs" has stopped drug abuse. I hate to break it to you but real life just doesn't work that way.


Just say no to drugs? Where in your ass did you pull that whack ass straw man from?

But you're right, in real life it doesn't work out that "no means no" because men, such as yourself, keep arguing that "no" means one of a 50 shads of gray instead of a black and white, plain as day, one word sentence.

(And I'll address your non-sequitur for fun... In a family full of hardcore drug addicts, I escaped drug addiction by saying no to drugs. It was simple. I said no when friends offered, and they respected me enough not to ask again. "No" is simple.)

(in reply to Milesnmiles)
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RE: Agressive Males? - 12/3/2017 9:35:37 PM   
Milesnmiles


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quote:

ORIGINAL: longwayhome
The whole idea of anyone being the "aggressor" makes me feel uncomfortable straight off ...
If the word "aggressor" makes you feel uncomfortable use any word you like. I was taught the male does the asking and the women says yes or no and regardless of the answer the male is to open the doors and pay for the dinner and defend her if need be and generally treat her as a "lady" even if she cusses like a sailor, if that makes you "uncomfortable" so be it.

(in reply to longwayhome)
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RE: Agressive Males? - 12/3/2017 9:50:52 PM   
Milesnmiles


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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloverodella


quote:

ORIGINAL: Milesnmiles

I actually was kind enjoying your post until you decided to act like a jerk and started in with your; "(here's a totally! new! concept!) take no for no" idiocy and I thought I bet she also believes that the slogan "just say no to drugs" has stopped drug abuse. I hate to break it to you but real life just doesn't work that way.


Just say no to drugs? Where in your ass did you pull that whack ass straw man from?

But you're right, in real life it doesn't work out that "no means no" because men, such as yourself, keep arguing that "no" means one of a 50 shads of gray instead of a black and white, plain as day, one word sentence.

(And I'll address your non-sequitur for fun... In a family full of hardcore drug addicts, I escaped drug addiction by saying no to drugs. It was simple. I said no when friends offered, and they respected me enough not to ask again. "No" is simple.)

Are really this stupid, great it worked for you, whoopee and yet we are in the midst of a massive drug epidemic, how come "just say no" didn't work for them?

People like you keep saying things idiotic things like "yes means yes and no, no" and some how think that will fix everything and don't realize that you are actually being a pedophilia apologist.

(in reply to cloverodella)
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RE: Agressive Males? - 12/3/2017 10:26:06 PM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Milesnmiles
I'm glad it worked out for them, I just find that it is hard to trust someone who starts out by lying to you.

Yea, for me, I have this habit of lying to anybody I met from online about my real identity. They don't get my real name, my real phone number, my real email. What they get are all disposable. Even if I been fucking this dude for 2 years. He still does not know my real identity.

That's just me. For me, it's safety. If things turn south. I want to disappear. I had bad experience of men stalking or retaliating if you want to stop seeing him. Like a literal "Have sex with me again or else......things he knew about me threatening to use against me."

So this is what I do to protect myself. And it's just FwBs to me anyway. Only 3 men who I developed a trust with, did I confess to them my real identity and none of them got mad about it and think it's no big deal. They understood completely and we are all still good.

(in reply to Milesnmiles)
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RE: Agressive Males? - 12/3/2017 10:35:19 PM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LTE

...is shit. What is not shit is that some women are crazy enough to feel threatened when no threat is intended.


No usually the threat is very direct.

(in reply to LTE)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Agressive Males? - 12/4/2017 12:11:43 AM   
ResidentSadist


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True... and, I that isn't my only approach or perspective. I am multifaceted.

If I a guy is shallow, has one perspective and big boobs are the only qualifier to spark his interest... he is gonna' bark up the wrong trees. Girls don't think with their boobs... well, not most of them anyway. So the fact she has big tits, and he is attracted to them (not her), doesn't mean her brain is attracted to his approach to her as an object. And there you have ... sexual harassment.

Now the same big titty girl gets approached by a man that is responsive, and makes her (not her boobs) feel he is attracted to her for reasons that require some intellect and heart to perceive . . . there you have flirtation.

If a guy is too fucking stupid to have figured that out, he ought to go smack his parents for raising him wrong. I was a preteen when my mom and dad taught me that if you like a girl, and want her to like you, you should focus on her, listen, and make her feel like she is the only person in the world when you talk to her. Let her know how she makes you feel. Be open, vulnerable (but not fragile) and if there is any chance of chemistry, she will respond in kind. Then later, when she is gargling your sperm, you can tell her what nice titties she has. :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

You dont expect everyone to appreciate your "caveman with club" approach :)

Too many men dont have that filter.



_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.


(in reply to Lucylastic)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Agressive Males? - 12/4/2017 12:29:49 AM   
Greta75


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RS, companies should hire you to teach men about things like this. You articulated it perfectly.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
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RE: Agressive Males? - 12/4/2017 8:38:28 AM   
porcelaine


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

That's just me. For me, it's safety. If things turn south. I want to disappear. I had bad experience of men stalking or retaliating if you want to stop seeing him. Like a literal "Have sex with me again or else......things he knew about me threatening to use against me.


I can recollect a time when people were more discriminating about the things they shared and did not turn over private information without serious vetting. But many are more accommodating today.

I’ve had similar thoughts in the past regarding damage control and what-if scenarios. I tell very little about myself in general. I place those nuggets with great intention and never in the same spot. But as you’ve noted problems can arise. While that has been attended to there’s the necessity of caution for the reasons you’ve shared and more. I don’t blame you for taking steps to alleviate the compromises that may come up.

My aunt once told me that women talk too much. She framed that comment along the lines you’ve mentioned. It was her consensus that their revelations were of a magnitude that if things went awry they’d have little recourse. No place to hide so to speak because they’ve revealed everything to the other party. I took those words to heart given her age (70+) and my involvement with alternative relationships. She made it clear, “You will always have a way out. The bailout will always come.” But the caveat was clear: Keep it to yourself. I understood the necessity of holding that card close to my breast.

And I trust you have quite a few of your own.

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Agressive Males? - 12/4/2017 8:40:46 AM   
porcelaine


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I was a preteen when my mom and dad taught me that if you like a girl, and want her to like you, you should focus on her, listen, and make her feel like she is the only person in the world when you talk to her. Let her know how she makes you feel. Be open, vulnerable (but not fragile) and if there is any chance of chemistry, she will respond in kind.


The voice of reason speaks! Well stated.

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Agressive Males? - 12/4/2017 12:57:45 PM   
longwayhome


Posts: 1035
Joined: 1/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Milesnmiles

quote:

ORIGINAL: longwayhome
...

I have repeatedly posted in this kind of thread that I do not understand or accept any male attitude which bemoans how men are poor creatures who are put upon in today's workplace or dating culture, where somehow the slightest error can lead to a sincere individual being branded as a sexual harasser.
...

I found this to be interesting, I don't know about this "poor creatures" thing but will point out that I have started three threads just to have conversations about topics that seemed to be in the news and mostly to hear what others have to say on the subjects. For the most part I have not given my opinion on the subjects and yet without even knowing how I stand on the subject, I have been called a sexual harasser and an advocate for rape and that without the "slightest error".



You will notice that just as you haven't actually gone as far as to give your opinion, I haven't gone as far as to acuse you of anything of the sort.

You must be making a general point using me as your patsy.

Thanks mate. Always a pleasure.

(in reply to Milesnmiles)
Profile   Post #: 40
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