Spellbinder83
Posts: 82
Joined: 7/4/2008 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: cloverodella quote:
ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83 Why did you stop replying? Did I put the Queens of the message board in their place with the truth? I'm not puttimg up with ignorance anymore. Legit replies get legit responses. You make a stupid reply, you get a response that calls out your stupidity. An hour and a half that you don't get a reply in the forums and you start going off? Not cool, man. The "legit replies" comment I imagine is directed at me since it's basically in my profile. You dropped no "truth" anywhere, nor pointed out any ignorances other than your own, I promise you. This is all especially weird because you started your post wanting honest answers and for people to eviserate you. I know that was tongue-in-cheek, but it says to me you want brutal honesty at the very least. Believe it or not I get your frustration. I'm disabled, though not to the extent that you are. I'm not house-bound, which I'm guessing you mainly are. Your situation sounds dreadful; I'd hate to have to have a home healthcare worker. Hell, It kills me that my partner had to do everything around the house because I'm not capable. When he goes on a tear to clean the house, I get anxious and very depressed. I've had 10 years to accept this shit. You've had much less. So I get that. You must be lonely as all get out. But that's no excuse. That said, hanging so much hope on someone you've never even talked to is not healthy. Going off the way you have here is not healthy. Thinking the anger you spit out here is anything resembling a reasoned response is not healthy. It may sound like an insult when DarkSteven said see a counselor, but it's legit advice. I have fantasy head canons about how perfect a match with someone is, and the perfect life we could live, too. But the normal thing is to keep that to yourself. There are two problems you've got going on that I can see. The first is depression or mental illness about your injury. It's plain depressing to be disabled or chronically sick. It just is. In a short time you've had to make a lot of adjustments. It sucks to be 37 and deal with health things you shouldn't "have to" for another 40 years. Our society says you are what you do for work, and that fact alone can make us feel worthless and hopeless. The second you will not like to hear. You may be a generally nice fellow, but you've got Nice Guy™ Syndrome. You consider yourself a nice guy coming in last, do you not? Obviously you think women owe you a response when you write them, and not just that, but to look at your profile. Writing to her that you'll leave her alone when she looks at your profile but doesn't respond is unnecessary -- all you had to do was actually leave her alone to respect her disinterest. That's the kind of behavior that other women see as a warning flag. I suggest you read up about Nice Guys™ and ways to not be one, and not from men who pity themselves like the incels. You likely won't like how women write about Nice Guys™, but accepting that will be a part of breaking the entitlement to women's time and attention that you have. You need to get yourself together. Because right now you aren't. I hate that you are disabled as well. I still have the possibility of recovery. Your situation sounds more permanent. You have my empathy. Legit replies was not directed at you. If you'll notice, I haven't looked at your profile. I was only talking about "truth" in the sense that I was providing additional info that I believe proved some people judgemental, like how I knew her ethnicity, things like that. I wasn't refering to "dropping knowledge" or anything like that. Why couldn't you reply like that the first time? That is exactly what I want to hear. Not the judgemental stuff you spewed the first time. Stuff I don't like to hear, but need to hear. Eviscerate was not an invitation for judgement. It was just meant to encourage replies. This is ask a Master, not Extreme Humiliation & Degradation. I did regret the first paragraph after I sent it. That internal dialogue should have stayed internal. I have pent up anger from my previous post where I was also judged. When the same people did it again, and I knew this board was poorly moderated, I was not about to be a doormat. Some may be falsely accused. They will receive an apology if needed. Public, if necessary. Yes, I know seeing a counselor is legit advice. I saw one for depression before the stroke. Really, any depression is directly related to maybe not getting my mobility back. That does bother me. My anger says stop judging me and back off. I doubt anyone here likes to be judged. But if I were perfectly fit, being judged would still piss me off. I think I am a nice guy. Most women do not look at my profile here, most of the time, it does not bother me. I wanted her to look at it because I felt we were a good match. My profile does the best job selling me. Is that nice guy thinking? I'm not sure. It does irritate me when women delete my messages without reading them. I admit I think that is bullshit. I see your point about simply leaving her alone. I wanted her to see the profile because we match so well. What's an incel? I want to read up about Nice Guys. What resources do you recommend?
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