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RE: Most annoying behaviors of kink males. - 1/12/2018 5:42:58 PM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave
Ironically, some girls love seeing somebody's inner asshole up front right away.

There is a quote I saw which says, "Being a dominant isn't the equivalent of being an asshole!"

I think that should be the bible.Otherwise, what is the difference between BDSM and a real criminal who abuses women?

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Most annoying behaviors of kink males. - 1/12/2018 5:46:02 PM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NoirMetal
No,they just mean you are not worth talking to. You did not win.

It just means they were intimidated by me. A real dominant to me, doesn't even need to waste seconds of his time to whine about, "You are a dominant, not a submissive." He would purposefully search for the one he is gonna dominate and not even bother with those that he felt is not for him.

The fact that they even bothered to make that effort to say that, to me, already says that, it's not that I am not worth talking to. But they were actually trying to elicit a reply and start a conversation.

Basically, it's just not very masculine manly behaviour and kinda catty like a bunch of reality show housewives or something and that's why I roll my eyes at such comments coming from self proclaim male dominants.

It's bitchy. And I always feel bitchy behaviour exudes a more beta energy.

(in reply to NoirMetal)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Most annoying behaviors of kink males. - 1/12/2018 5:56:33 PM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: heavyblinker
I can honestly picture it too-- you pretending to have no control while telling your 'dominant' exactly what to do.
Just like a spoiled, selfish bitch.

All dominants who think they truly have control, are in delusion, unless they are controlling a woman in an abusive relationship. Like an abused woman who does not want to leave her abuser.

Because in the law of the land, a woman can choose to leave anytime.

Real control is what he can inspire her to do out of her own free will.

I guess you'd never understand. It's nothing to do with "spoiled" or "selfish".

If a dominant inspires a woman to put him before herself, he is a great dominant.

If a dominant goes out and seek a woman who already is altruistic and selfless and put everybody before herself always.

Exactly what has he dominate? It is her default, anybody could dominate her. She always put others first. All you need to do is get upset with her and she'd want to fix it and please you. She'd do this for anybody. There are plenty of characters like this. Especially in Asian culture.

I ain't gonna give that dominant credit for being a great dominant as he has practically done absolutely nothing special that nobody else can do.

(in reply to heavyblinker)
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RE: Most annoying behaviors of kink males. - 1/12/2018 6:49:01 PM   
NoirMetal


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Your'e a waste of time greta. Women like you end up with service tops-Not Doms.

You just don't want to admit they are simply being efficient-and moving on.

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RE: Most annoying behaviors of kink males. - 1/12/2018 10:49:54 PM   
seekingreality


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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloverodella


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
The moment you go like, "Oh you are bossy to me, wah wah wah!" The dude lost control and it's kinda in a way, whining about it. Boo Hoo Hoo, I can't control you, so he is basically saying you are a dominant because I am INCAPABLE of controlling you.


Inherent in that is also "because I can't Dominate you, no one else must be able to, so you're not actually a submissive." The arrogance and lack of self-awareness is staggering.



That's true. It also fails to realize that every dominant is not compatible with every submissive, just as every vanilla hetero male is not compatible with every vanilla hetero female. Imagine if a guy didn't connect with a woman on a vanilla date. Would he say "You're not a true dater!" in the way that many around here like to declare someone is not a "true" submissive" because they have a different view of BDSM.


The trouble often is that people have so much trouble connecting that they become frustrated and angry when they land a "prospect" who doesn't pan out. I sense that anger from a couple of people participating in this thread.

(in reply to cloverodella)
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RE: Most annoying behaviors of kink males. - 1/13/2018 12:27:57 AM   
heavyblinker


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
To me, if a man can't control me. He is my beta. It's as simple as that. I become the one controlling him. And it makes it worst when he admits it to me that he is unable to control me. I lose respect for him.

This whole, "you are not a submissive" bullshit always comes from online dominants. I can just imagine they been saying this to like at least hundreds of chick online who they cannot control.


I don't think it's that they are unable, more like they are unwilling.
They approach you, are quickly turned off by your domineering attitude, fail to comply with your own very specific demands on what a 'dominant' must be, and then you pretend they're the phony one.

And you will probably just continue to pretend that being rejected by someone constitutes a failure on their part.

It seems to me that you're just offering NSA sex to anyone who can pretend to be dominant until they get bored, and calling it BDSM.

(in reply to Greta75)
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RE: Most annoying behaviors of kink males. - 1/13/2018 12:32:49 AM   
heavyblinker


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
Because in the law of the land, a woman can choose to leave anytime.

Real control is what he can inspire her to do out of her own free will.

I guess you'd never understand. It's nothing to do with "spoiled" or "selfish".

If a dominant inspires a woman to put him before herself, he is a great dominant.


I can just imagine what 'putting yourself before him' would mean to you.
Something along the lines of: 'okay, now I will allow you to do everything I want you to do to me'.

And they complain about the do-me male subs!!

(in reply to Greta75)
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RE: Most annoying behaviors of kink males. - 1/13/2018 5:17:39 AM   
NoirMetal


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I thought that do me bottoms like switch guys who shade toward the subbie side. So they can still get a stiffy while following the script. Do me bottoms are just a bore overall.

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RE: Most annoying behaviors of kink males. - 1/13/2018 7:47:30 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave
Ironically, some girls love seeing somebody's inner asshole up front right away.

There is a quote I saw which says, "Being a dominant isn't the equivalent of being an asshole!"

I think that should be the bible.Otherwise, what is the difference between BDSM and a real criminal who abuses women?

Depends upon the context.

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Most annoying behaviors of kink males. - 1/13/2018 7:54:23 AM   
LadyPact


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NoirMetal
I thought that do me bottoms like switch guys who shade toward the subbie side. So they can still get a stiffy while following the script. Do me bottoms are just a bore overall.

I'll agree with part of it. Random dude X from the internet telling me how he wants me to top him doesn't interest me in the least. I don't even play that way with people I know. I don't fit the definition of service top very well.

I do kind of feel bad though. When I answered the original, I did it from the perspective of the category of people who do initial/cold call emails to me the most. Being a Dominant woman, of course, that's going to be submissive/bottom men. There for a bit on the thread, it was coming across as 'hey, let's all bash submissive men,' which isn't necessarily deserved.

Just something to think about.



_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to NoirMetal)
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RE: Most annoying behaviors of kink males. - 1/13/2018 6:40:23 PM   
NoirMetal


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: NoirMetal
I thought that do me bottoms like switch guys who shade toward the subbie side. So they can still get a stiffy while following the script. Do me bottoms are just a bore overall.

I'll agree with part of it. Random dude X from the internet telling me how he wants me to top him doesn't interest me in the least. I don't even play that way with people I know. I don't fit the definition of service top very well.

I do kind of feel bad though. When I answered the original, I did it from the perspective of the category of people who do initial/cold call emails to me the most. Being a Dominant woman, of course, that's going to be submissive/bottom men. There for a bit on the thread, it was coming across as 'hey, let's all bash submissive men,' which isn't necessarily deserved.

Just something to think about.



But the numbers shade so heavily towards annoying do me bottoms that the ones who really want a relationship get shut out by the trash,as the women burn out and shut down from the sheer volume of retardation.

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RE: Most annoying behaviors of kink males. - 1/13/2018 6:42:38 PM   
Lucylastic


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I feel that way about a lot of male doms....as well

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(in reply to NoirMetal)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Most annoying behaviors of kink males. - 1/13/2018 6:59:05 PM   
NoirMetal


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I hear ya Lucy. I'm older,so I value companionship over just getting my dick wet.

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RE: Most annoying behaviors of kink males. - 1/14/2018 11:28:54 AM   
WhoreMods


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RE: Most annoying behaviors of kink males. - 1/14/2018 2:37:46 PM   
needlesandpins


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Maybe this is entirely where people get their wires crossed between those that life it, those that bedroom it, and those that just wank over it.

I'm a bedroom only Switch. My wants list is extensive, and nothing at all. It is entirely dependent on the person I am with. My ex got nothing submissive from me in 16 years, and would tell you I was strictly a domme, because he never deserved anything submissive from me. My ex playmate got it all, and I had it from him too.

It's bullshit to tell Greta she's too bossy just because she knows exactly what she wants and doesn't want from a guy. Why should she accept sub standard crap from a man just because he claims to be a Dom? He doesn't have to accept her either, fair enough, but we don't have to put up with less from anyone, regardless of labels.

Needles

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RE: Most annoying behaviors of kink males. - 1/14/2018 3:24:33 PM   
DesFIP


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Most guys are intimidated by me. I’m smarter than most of them and wealthier. My background includes things they’ve only dreamed of.

And I could spot someone interested in using me from before I was of age. It doesn’t make me a fake sub though. Just someone who would much prefer to stay home with a good book than get involved with some dude who I’m not compatible with.

I’ve never believed that a synonym for submissive is miserable.and too many doms whom I cannot respect do hold that point of view.

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Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Most annoying behaviors of kink males. - 1/14/2018 7:38:18 PM   
NoirMetal


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quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

Maybe this is entirely where people get their wires crossed between those that life it, those that bedroom it, and those that just wank over it.

I'm a bedroom only Switch. My wants list is extensive, and nothing at all. It is entirely dependent on the person I am with. My ex got nothing submissive from me in 16 years, and would tell you I was strictly a domme, because he never deserved anything submissive from me. My ex playmate got it all, and I had it from him too.

It's bullshit to tell Greta she's too bossy just because she knows exactly what she wants and doesn't want from a guy. Why should she accept sub standard crap from a man just because he claims to be a Dom? He doesn't have to accept her either, fair enough, but we don't have to put up with less from anyone, regardless of labels.

Needles

Because she is dissing Doms when she doesn't really want one.

_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Most annoying behaviors of kink males. - 1/14/2018 9:57:30 PM   
Owner4SexSlave


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Joined: 4/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

Maybe this is entirely where people get their wires crossed between those that life it, those that bedroom it, and those that just wank over it.

I'm a bedroom only Switch. My wants list is extensive, and nothing at all. It is entirely dependent on the person I am with. My ex got nothing submissive from me in 16 years, and would tell you I was strictly a domme, because he never deserved anything submissive from me. My ex playmate got it all, and I had it from him too.

It's bullshit to tell Greta she's too bossy just because she knows exactly what she wants and doesn't want from a guy. Why should she accept sub standard crap from a man just because he claims to be a Dom? He doesn't have to accept her either, fair enough, but we don't have to put up with less from anyone, regardless of labels.

Needles


This nails part of the issue(s) involved in the complex maze of BDSM match making hell/heaven.

I have a female switch friend which her primary live in relationship is with a vanilla guy. Known her for some time now and we have a lot of mutual friends in the real time. It's none of this online "bullshit" which a lot of this actually truly is (in my harsh honest opinion).

We've been doing a lot of talking voice about things, because I know from experience to not rush into things blindly or take a hell of a lot for granted. So, she's is afforded to be poly and this is with her primary's knowledge and approval. Sounds all good so far, right? Not exactly, because the more and more we talked she realized I was not a bedroom only type of Dominant. That all of my relationships were truly D/s outside of the bedroom too. This made me stop and do some serious, and I mean serious thinking about if I can or can not find the on/off switch for keeping it to the bedroom only. I'm mentally forming some clear barriers and defining some limits, if I her and I do this thing too.

It's exceptionally important for people to not get their wires crossed up about things. Like making certain a playmate is just that....a playmate.

There are people which keep things to the bedroom, no shame in that either. There's a diversity here in BDSM land.

(in reply to needlesandpins)
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RE: Most annoying behaviors of kink males. - 1/14/2018 10:04:02 PM   
Owner4SexSlave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Most guys are intimidated by me. I’m smarter than most of them and wealthier. My background includes things they’ve only dreamed of.

And I could spot someone interested in using me from before I was of age. It doesn’t make me a fake sub though. Just someone who would much prefer to stay home with a good book than get involved with some dude who I’m not compatible with.

I’ve never believed that a synonym for submissive is miserable.and too many doms whom I cannot respect do hold that point of view.


I can spot women which are interested in being used by me too. I make jokes about how I'd rather be alone and enjoy my own space compared to getting wrapped up with somebody which I'm not compatible with. I enjoy my personal space and how amazingly drama free it is. Also, I can't deal with stupid either. There's only a few types of generalized submissive personalities I care to deal with. It's important for people to know what they don't want as it is for what they do want.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Most annoying behaviors of kink males. - 1/14/2018 11:19:38 PM   
Owner4SexSlave


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Never ceases to amaze me how things plummet into the swamps of what is or is not a Twue Dominant and submissive. The Forums are littered with it even. I've been using this website on/off for a long long ass time now.

On the matter of control. Soon as somebody has you frog or hog tied up. You have zero control as long as you are tied up. It's not some illusion either. Sure you have control over your thoughts, feelings and emotions. But you have literally Zero control physically. This is part of the thrill and joys of bondage is the loss of control.

The same applies to consent to none consent situations even. Ironically, it's not about sex, use and abuse as it is experiencing not not being in control. Loss of Control and experiencing it, is perhaps one of the main conversation points which a great deal of subs, switches and such have expressed to me over the years.

Also being forced to do things that they actually hate or dislike. Now, I'm not some complete bastard. I very much take an interest in things the other enjoys and likes. especially mutual and over lapping interests. This does not make them some do-me submissive.

But since the whole damn topic of do-me submissive has popped up here. Above all else, the context of it needs to be clearly established when talked about. If it's a complete Do-Me personality type or mindset within a D/s relationship. That can lead to problems, although in some dynamics like a Daddy/Little girl that is workable. Depending upon the personality of both Dom and submissive.

Just because somebody has the Do-me mindset, does that mean the Dominant has to cater to it? Some girls enjoy being told "NO!". LOL. But seriously, these kind of relationships require getting to know and understand each other. Communication is important.

But one damn thing I know, a good number of activities I got involved with... started off with some submissive type.. literally and specifically offering themselves up specific activity use. Some of these things challenged the notions I had of my own limits, and what I was or was not willing to do. Some of this stuff I was all over. Some took me a bit to warm up to the notion of selling my soul to devil to do before doing. There was some things which I passed up and didn't warm up to until years later. All and all, I will express this much. They did not have "Do-me" bossy personalities at all.

Being a Dominant also means you are the granter of wishes too. I'm not speaking in the context of a M/s relationship where center attention is upon the Master/Mistress/Owner. Although even slaves are human beings too. A lot of this stuff again, there is no one true one wayism involved in things.

Pay attention to how a submissive phrases things.. "you can (insert activity here) with/to me" or "I want you to (insert activity here)". It's ultimately the Dominants decision to do or not to do. I might sit there and make somebody rephrase it. This is all if it's at the beginning to get to know somebody or not. If there's any kind of D/s involved in things or not. If there's no D/s involved, I'd still sit there for a moment and debate about the kind of crazy they just offered up for me to do to or with them. You only live once in life you know. Some times just doing something for the thrill of it works. But this is all centered around activity experience and not D/s relationships. Context is and always is exceptionally important here.

Relationship bossy do me type..those kinds of women though, I won't give an inch with right away, even if I'm into things. It's when they openly realize and enjoy the fact they can't boss me around... is when I've dealt with their bad behavior enough that it's got through to them. I'm speaking purely on the dating or getting to know one another stages of things too. Not as 24/7 or some other involved relationship. Women will quickly figure it out, if you are or are not right for them. Just because a Women comes off all bossy or demanding, doesn't mean you should quickly shut them down. Some like to test to see if they can walk over a guy, or wrap them around their pinky.

I've been called hard headed, I've been called asshole, I've been called selfish, I've been called other things too. But not in the completely bad way either. Hard to translate the tones of voice used here on the message boards. Put it this way, I wasn't such an asshole, head headed or many other things... that they didn't want to see me again. If anything the exact opposite happened.

I had a girl one night, which I just met. She pulled out a cigarette and placed it to her lips.. making the physical gestures in a demanding sort of way for me to lit for her. She was exceptionally hot looking. I really don't like that kind of attitude or behavior in general. I knew exactly what she was trying to do too. Rude bitch, didn't politely ask for light. I pulled the lighter from my pocket and tapped in down on the table standing up right in front of her. My friend at the time about lost his mind that I would treat a women so rudely. Anyways, it stunned her for a moment. She eventually reached down and picked it up and lit her own smoke. Kind of gave me a bit of a look, me I was just as friendly as I could be, save perhaps a brief smirk or something.

When I went to the bathroom, my friend cornered me down. Man, that's no way to treat a woman what the fuck is wrong with you. I tried to explain it to him. Her behavior and demanding attitude is bad behavior and I'm not going to be treated like all the men drooling over her ass in the club. Especially by a girl which has weaponized herself with self sexual objectification to have that control over men.

Yes, I was that asshole which didn't play along too. Ironically, over the course of a few weeks, when ran into her. She come over and sit with us and hangout. I didn't sink money into buying her drinks, or none of that. What's funny, is that she said what she enjoyed was feeling safe sitting with me. The guy which was least all over or after her in the club. She tossed me her phone number one night even.

Which brings me to another point I want to make, being Dominant does not mean trying hard to get the girl either. Some times, you almost need to ignore them. All depends if they are playing the game of weaponize self sexual objectification and those control games or not. Also nothing that guarantee's anything. If the girl is truly not into you, she's just not into you. Being Dominant does not mean every women is going to fall and keel over for you, or that you are going to get their attention. actually if it worked like that, I think I'd stay home and never leave the damn house.

I lost where I was going with all this now. Oh yeah, just because somebody has a do-me attitude about anything does not mean they won't submit or not worthy of D/s relationship material.

If you blow somebody off too quickly without getting to know one another, and actually go through the motions and testing one another. One might be passing something good up. Just my thoughts on this.

Although on the other side here, it's rather brutal. Back to the wires crossed as previously mentioned in this thread by Needles.

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 60
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