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RE: Perfectionist - 8/2/2006 8:12:51 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250
Was he one of those people who washes their hands all the time?

Obsessive compulsive disorder is a different but related anxiety issue. It is indeed usually caused by feeling lack of control and needing to create ways to "make it right" but is far less rational in its creation of obsessions and compulsions than perfectionism.

Monk really is a great example of a type of OCD perfectionist combo.

Most people in the world have a few OCD habits, but very few encapsulate OCD to the point of being a disorder. There are also a wide variety of obsessive/compulsive behaviors beyond the cleaning issues.

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RE: Perfectionist - 8/2/2006 10:45:27 PM

nefertari

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I'm a perfectionist, but I don't expect it out of others. That being said, if someone is doing something that I normally do and not doing it "right", I'll just take over. I don't get angry or berate them because I know it's my quirk and not theirs and we generally laugh about it. I don't see it as a negative.

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RE: Perfectionist - 8/3/2006 12:18:46 AM

Kedikat

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I define perfectionist as constantly disappointed with everything, including self, and annoying as hell.
If they are perfectionist and not self critical as well, they should be shot.

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RE: Perfectionist - 8/3/2006 5:18:56 AM

RavenMuse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50
What is your personal defination of a perfectionist?

Someone who strives for standards as near to their definition of perfection as possible and doesn't accept less of themselves unless they are absolutely satisfied that physicaly, mentaly and emotionaly could NOT have done any better. Where they do let themselves down they take lessons from it and make sure they do a damn sight better NEXT time.

quote:

...is being a perfectionist a good thing or a bad thing?

It can be either, depends how it is handled. I expect very high standards from those around me, I expect higher of myself, but DO allow for the fact that we are only human. We may never reach 'perfection' as it is an ideal, but we should strive to get as close as possible. I see that as a damn good thing.

However someone who expects more than another can actualy give and then berates them for failing, that is a bad and frankly harmful thing.

< Message edited by RavenMuse -- 8/3/2006 5:19:33 AM >

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RE: Perfectionist - 8/3/2006 5:55:18 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50

What is your personal defination of a perfectionist? I have come to realize that it means different things to different people. I was married to a perfectionist for 30 yrs and I have vowed never to become involved with another one again...is being a perfectionist a good thing or a bad thing?

I don't have a personal definition...... my OED gives a perfectly good decription...**refusal to accept anything short of perfect**

I lived with someone for 15 yrs , who fitted this definition and from that experience alone, it was not an even moderately productive way to be, for him, let alone me, as his partner. It can be hugely crippling on many levels, not just for the person themselves but those around them.

The saddest thing is, that someone afflicted so, can find that happiness eludes them constantly. There is the constant drip of disappointment that eats away.

How awful must it be to live your life, when NOTHING meeting your idea of *ok*? It's all pervading and affects every aspect of your life.

I know what the tragic consequences of this trait can be, in it's extreme.

agirl

Edited...whoops, awful typo.

< Message edited by agirl -- 8/3/2006 5:56:28 AM >

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RE: Perfectionist - 8/3/2006 5:56:32 AM

marieToo

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I think most 'perfectionsists' arent really perfectionists across the board, but rather people who have one particular hang-up that they are anal about, such as housecleaning or the way they dress or what have you.

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RE: Perfectionist - 8/3/2006 6:00:22 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

I think most 'perfectionsists' arent really perfectionists across the board, but rather people who have one particular hang-up that they are anal about, such as housecleaning or the way they dress or what have you.

Then I'd probably say that that means they are not * perfectionists*. Most people have the odd thing or two that is vitally important to them to do well and are a bit anal about. A perfectionist can't accept *less than perfect* in anything......they may put up with it but they can never be comfortable with it.

agirl

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RE: Perfectionist - 8/3/2006 6:23:09 AM

marieToo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

I think most 'perfectionsists' arent really perfectionists across the board, but rather people who have one particular hang-up that they are anal about, such as housecleaning or the way they dress or what have you.

Then I'd probably say that that means they are not * perfectionists*. Most people have the odd thing or two that is vitally important to them to do well and are a bit anal about. A perfectionist can't accept *less than perfect* in anything......they may put up with it but they can never be comfortable with it.

agirl

That must suck.

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RE: Perfectionist - 8/3/2006 6:41:59 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

I think most 'perfectionsists' arent really perfectionists across the board, but rather people who have one particular hang-up that they are anal about, such as housecleaning or the way they dress or what have you.

Then I'd probably say that that means they are not * perfectionists*. Most people have the odd thing or two that is vitally important to them to do well and are a bit anal about. A perfectionist can't accept *less than perfect* in anything......they may put up with it but they can never be comfortable with it.

agirl

That must suck.

It must indeed..........Enough for him to hang himself.

I can't imagine what it must have been like to LIVE this in the way he did, but to live *with* it was hard enough.

It is a hugely sad affliction and NOT at all about someone that is a *bit anally retentive*.

agirl

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RE: Perfectionist - 8/3/2006 10:05:33 AM

SirKenin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50

yep, he washed his hands all the time, was constantly cleaning "something", "anything"....everything had to be in its place at all times ( thats hard to do with children)....no matter how much I cleaned, he would Always find something that I missed and complain about that.

That actually fits the description of OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, perfectly.

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