|
DoctorDubious -> RE: trust and abandonment issues (8/13/2006 2:11:19 PM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: liljoy
i'm post this question for a friend that hasn't ever posted her before but will be able to read the responses.
How does one over come trust and abandonment issues?
she and i have talked about it but as i tend to have the same issues i wasn't really sure what to tell her except to make friends first.
she said that she has made Friends with Doms in the past but that when she wasn't willing to play with them they stopped being friends. so what do ya say? help me out all ya good advice givers, please?
lil_joy
Hey liljoy... and all
>>How does one over come trust and abandonment issues?
There is a very real danger in
emphasizing personal history, and past traumas,
when we are trying to change, heal, grow, and develop as humans.
Thats where so many the-rapists get it so very wrong.
Have you noticed all the comments, both kind and rude,
that put the "blame" on shit because of a past event.... right in this forum?
MyGawd, sometimes it feels like www.solicitious-social-worker-central.com.
When our emphasis is on the past,
trusting and mis-trusting souls both miss the only place
where growth and change occur, which is to say, present actions.
The only place ....
And, behaviour ... the stuff you actually do...
gets misinterpreted as less relevant than our feelings.
************************
>>she and i have talked about it
Our feelings and emotions will ebb and flow and change,
and are virtually immune to "willing" them to change,
or "talking" them into submission....
Have the feelings, acknowledge em,
and then just do what has to be done.... ya know..
It's not what ya feel that makes relationships work, it's what ya do.
And, it's not what ya feel that makes relationships appear in your life...
.... that too... is what you do.
Act differently in the world,
regardless of the feelings.....
and the world will be a little... just a little ... different.
DD....
PS... I'm NOT sayin' that it's easy, just that it works.
The Journey
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.
|
|
|
|
