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RE: The Disciplined Dominant - 8/25/2006 4:30:57 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


And all this has very little to do with the OP - where did Aileen get to?
 

Focus.


Oh I'm here just lurking....I'm watching the thread take its course.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: The Disciplined Dominant - 8/25/2006 6:24:30 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


And all this has very little to do with the OP - where did Aileen get to?
 

Focus.


Oh I'm here just lurking....I'm watching the thread take its course.

Ahhh, there you are....  :-) 
 
Seems to have gotten a little side-tracked from your OP, but I wouldn't say its been dull.... lol
 
Focus.

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: The Disciplined Dominant - 8/25/2006 2:59:00 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


And all this has very little to do with the OP - where did Aileen get to?
 

Focus.


Oh I'm here just lurking....I'm watching the thread take its course.

Ahhh, there you are....  :-) 
 
Seems to have gotten a little side-tracked from your OP, but I wouldn't say its been dull.... lol
 
Focus.


Well, since we all worked so hard here, I think Aileen owes us all a strip tease or something.    Sheesh.....some girls have no appreciation. 

(in reply to Focus50)
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RE: The Disciplined Dominant - 8/25/2006 3:05:11 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Take care Marie.
 
Focus.


Its always the way.  All the good ones with their heads screwed on straight live in Australia.   

Damn!! 

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Profile   Post #: 64
RE: The Disciplined Dominant - 8/25/2006 4:28:35 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo


Well, since we all worked so hard here, I think Aileen owes us all a strip tease or something.    Sheesh.....some girls have no appreciation. 


Eeek!

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: The Disciplined Dominant - 8/25/2006 5:15:24 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I'll drink to Aileen's striptease!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IB


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: The Disciplined Dominant - 8/25/2006 5:42:24 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Here you go folks...

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: The Disciplined Dominant - 8/26/2006 1:59:30 PM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I call that "stubborn" - dunno about "disciplined. :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

I"ve noticed a trait that has appeared in every dominant on this site that I've talked to beyond initial emails.  They are extremely disciplined.  They make a choice and stick with their decision no matter what.  They can't be swayed, lulled or made to change their minds at all once they commit to a course of action.  Once they make a decision that is it.  Sooooo...I guess I'm just wondering, since my experience is limited, is this out of the norm or do you think that it is a common characteristic of a dominant personality?

(in reply to Aileen68)
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RE: The Disciplined Dominant - 8/28/2006 11:13:34 AM   
Dustee


Posts: 32
Joined: 4/18/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists



marie... your use of "manipulation" is not often used in that manner.

1 : to treat or operate with or as if with the hands or by mechanical means especially in a skillful manner
2 a : to manage or utilize skillfully b : to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one's own advantage
3 : to change by artful or unfair means so as to serve one's purpose

Now those are the norms that are associated with manipulation.  The most common usage is by far is 2b and 3.  both uses indicates a dishonest approach and that will most likely cause some one to have a negative view point with regards to the use of Manipulation.



These definitions look like they were quoted directly from a dictionary. But you give no attrition so it's impossible to tell if they were or not. Did they come not from a dictionary or did you write those yourself?

If so, are you aware that dictionaries always follow the principle of listing the most common (by the expert lexiographer's researched information, not by hearsay or what "feels" right) definitions first, and the less common and less popular ones after that?

My master always, always used "manipulation" in the positive sense that Marie meant. But what the fuck did he know? He'd just been doing bdsm and writing about it  for over 40 years and our relationship only lasted 16 wonderfully successful years before he died. (shrug) 

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: The Disciplined Dominant - 8/28/2006 11:20:49 AM   
Dustee


Posts: 32
Joined: 4/18/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Awhile ago... I had an exchange with Caretakr.  He suddenly disappeared.... and along comes Homestead.  It only took a few posts for me to suspect that it was him.  After I was sure... addressed him directly as Caretakr and not Homestead.   His style like yours and mine and many is rather distinctive. 


And you are actually crowing over this filthy, slimey act of outing? Wow... this really boggles my mind. 

Did you ask him in private first if he cared to be "outed" in this fashion?  Would you like it if you started a new identiy for your own personal reasons, wanting to begin on a forum with a new slate, and then somebody known to dog you constantly and critique your every move was so rabid and obsessive to "get at" you that he watched for your writing style and then outed you the instant he recognized you? (where's the puke emoticon when one really needs it?)

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: The Disciplined Dominant - 8/29/2006 6:52:47 AM   
petertherock40


Posts: 11
Joined: 2/21/2004
Status: offline 		Its a male tendency to be linear in thought and dominate decisions.  Generally men feel to sway from it is almost to admit to being a switch.. I personnaly feel if your truely love you share and are sensitive to the other.

Give and take is in true love.

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: The Disciplined Dominant - 8/29/2006 9:53:44 AM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear Aileen68, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
Discipline is a word that invites a general swath of meanings.
 
Discipline can be the use of protocols, rituals and ceremonies as to keep the establishment of the D/s or M/s role.  It keeps the roles clear and keeps the chaos down.
 
Discipline can mean orderly, functional, mental reasoning over an emotional response.  Discipline may also mean "obedience" as well as maintaining that obedience through discipline and or punishment.  So, as you can see words can trip things up, so I would inquire as to what dominants mean by their "discipline."
 
As far as domination goes, there is a difference between a dominant and a control freak.  Controllers use negatives, micro manage and deny freedom to the slave/submissive as to serve from the heart but, causes service from fear or humiliation, perhaps abusive force.  The controler types are insecure indeed.  Dominants, use positives and wants their slave/submissive to be happy in their role as slave or submissive, appreciate and praise every growth one makes.  Dominants do wish their slaves/submissives to serve from the heart, because they want to--not because they have to.  It is a spirit exchange--spirit of good, compassion, love (not sexual love), honorable and giving. 
 
How to achieve that state of bliss, is through series of disciplines that must be mastered.  Dominants learn through discipline to establish and maintain comfortable, safe, logical boundaries.  The slave/submissive learns through discipline to operate within the dominant's established and maintained boundaries with total freedom.  Discipline is a mutual truce between two individual's "self will."
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: The Disciplined Dominant - 9/2/2006 6:54:09 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dustee

Did you ask him in private first if he cared to be "outed" in this fashion?  Would you like it if you started a new identiy for your own personal reasons, wanting to begin on a forum with a new slate, and then somebody known to dog you constantly and critique your every move was so rabid and obsessive to "get at" you that he watched for your writing style and then outed you the instant he recognized you? (where's the puke emoticon when one really needs it?)



I wouldn't start a new identity... I am rather comfortable with my slimy identity as it is.. pity those that are to weak to be up front and attempt to manipulate the form to create a new image for themselves.  I guess I like people with a little more integrity and can call a spade a spade... even if it's in their own backyard.  But... personal accountability is a rare thing these days.  Instead people attempt to escape it... instead of dealing with it.



_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Dustee)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: The Disciplined Dominant - 9/2/2006 7:03:36 PM   
Master0316


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		It has been my experance that I sit down and carefully look at all sides before I make a decision. But once the decision is made then I will stick to it. If a Master can not stick to His decisions then how can He control someone else?

(in reply to Aileen68)
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RE: The Disciplined Dominant - 9/2/2006 9:28:53 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Master0316
It has been my experance that I sit down and carefully look at all sides before I make a decision. But once the decision is made then I will stick to it. If a Master can not stick to His decisions then how can He control someone else?

Easily, actually.  As others have said, I admire someone for their adaptability and critical thinking, not for their bullheadedness.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Master0316)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: The Disciplined Dominant - 9/3/2006 9:11:17 PM   
WhippingPostNY


Posts: 46
Joined: 9/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

They make a choice and stick with their decision no matter what.  They can't be swayed, lulled or made to change their minds at all once they commit to a course of action.


While I think that is a fair descriptive - I will admit that it is not absolute.

I can be, and have been "swayed" - but usually I will change me decision more because of how cute she looks when arguing her position - than because of anything else.  And then only on those things where either choice still serves the best interest of those involved.

;-)

WP

_____________________________

In a bedroom locked ... whispers soft. Refusal. And then ... surrender.

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: The Disciplined Dominant - 9/3/2006 9:33:32 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dustee

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Awhile ago... I had an exchange with Caretakr.  He suddenly disappeared.... and along comes Homestead.  It only took a few posts for me to suspect that it was him.  After I was sure... addressed him directly as Caretakr and not Homestead.   His style like yours and mine and many is rather distinctive. 


And you are actually crowing over this filthy, slimey act of outing? Wow... this really boggles my mind. 

Did you ask him in private first if he cared to be "outed" in this fashion?  Would you like it if you started a new identiy for your own personal reasons, wanting to begin on a forum with a new slate, and then somebody known to dog you constantly and critique your every move was so rabid and obsessive to "get at" you that he watched for your writing style and then outed you the instant he recognized you? (where's the puke emoticon when one really needs it?)



He has an ego, I expected it of him.

(in reply to Dustee)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: The Disciplined Dominant - 9/3/2006 9:35:44 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dustee

Did you ask him in private first if he cared to be "outed" in this fashion?  Would you like it if you started a new identiy for your own personal reasons, wanting to begin on a forum with a new slate, and then somebody known to dog you constantly and critique your every move was so rabid and obsessive to "get at" you that he watched for your writing style and then outed you the instant he recognized you? (where's the puke emoticon when one really needs it?)



I wouldn't start a new identity... I am rather comfortable with my slimy identity as it is.. pity those that are to weak to be up front and attempt to manipulate the form to create a new image for themselves.  I guess I like people with a little more integrity and can call a spade a spade... even if it's in their own backyard.  But... personal accountability is a rare thing these days.  Instead people attempt to escape it... instead of dealing with it.




I moved and changed emails. It was easier to just set up a new account, they won't let you reuse an old nick dude. It's interesting that you chose to interpret it this way. Especially after you stalked me through the forums harassing me under the old nick. What a putz.

You obviously already had it in for me, this only proves your malice. You outed me out of spite, not some altruistic purpose.

< Message edited by Homestead -- 9/3/2006 9:39:23 PM >

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: The Disciplined Dominant - 9/4/2006 4:31:15 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Master0316

It has been my experance that I sit down and carefully look at all sides before I make a decision. But once the decision is made then I will stick to it. If a Master can not stick to His decisions then how can He control someone else?

Welcome to the Forums.... :-)
 
While I sorta get the general gist of what you're saying, it's not often that life runs so smoothly....
 
There is an expectation of the Dominant to always make the right choices but that's not how real life pans out....  And when I screw up, no-one can possibly get down on me more than that prick staring back in the mirror.  While I know I'm gonna occasionally screw up, it's still not ok that I will - at least, not with me and especially not if my girl has suffered an undesired consequence of my decision.
 
And time is another factor; we rarely have the luxury to "sit down and carefully look at all sides before I make a decision"....  It's wise to evaluate the pros and cons, but often this is done in a matter of seconds.
 
Now, standing your ground on principles, especially if confronted with a vocal majority of nay-sayers, is something that can hold a Dom in good stead for controlling another.  Assuming, that is, your principles have a greater foundation than simply not accepting you could be wrong!
 
Focus. 

(in reply to Master0316)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: The Disciplined Dominant - 9/4/2006 7:57:18 AM   
LordODiscipline


Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Anyone who would "stand by a descision, no matter what" is a fool.
 
Stubborn refusal to face facts is not a "dominant" trait, it is bone and pig headed and should be the mark of a sincerely insecure person; vice an attribute to be admired or regaled.
 
There are times when standing by one's word is paramount to a definition of self - and - is a requisite toward being a good person and reliable man... but, simply stating that someone will follow through "no matter what" is fraught with a significant potential amount of disaster for all those people concerned.
 
Choose intelligence and honesty over stubborn pride - at least you will have a partner who is going to be around for a but longer than the latter.
 
~J

_____________________________

"Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential."
William Thomas

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 80
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