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RE: Never Been Collared - 8/23/2006 7:46:39 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

I have never been formally collared, although i once wore a collar of "consideration" in a relationship with a Dominant. I asked to be released because while He was a good person in general, He was not physically affectionate, since this is something i know i need...it also told me that our needs/desires were not complimentary. In my eyes, collaring is exactly like a marriage committment, and i would no sooner accept one lightly after a short aquaintance than i would jump wily nily from marriage to marriage.

< Message edited by spankmepink11 -- 8/23/2006 8:00:42 AM >

(in reply to onestandingstill)

Post #: 41

RE: Never Been Collared - 8/23/2006 8:44:14 AM

precious13

Posts: 2
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline

well.. i've been in relationships *with* and with*out* collars... collars were very important to me 15 years ago... now... all that matters is what's in the heart... i am sooo owned right now... but i doubt there will ever be a collar around my neck from him...

(in reply to onestandingstill)

Post #: 42

RE: Never Been Collared - 8/23/2006 11:22:57 AM

slo18

Posts: 125
Status: offline

I was collared and engaged for three years, I learned a great deal from that relationship. and not the least of witch is that i will never ever again accept a collar from someone that I dont feel a grand passion for just because he offers and i dont want to hurt him by saying no.

_____________________________

if god and the adorer call, tell them my prophet shall call their prophet, for I am in meetings verily till the end of time.

(in reply to precious13)

Post #: 43

RE: Never Been Collared - 8/24/2006 2:32:10 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

i have never been collared. i have not met a Dom who wanted that level of committment.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to slo18)

Post #: 44

RE: Never Been Collared - 8/24/2006 4:47:21 AM

maskedsow

Posts: 137
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline

i have been collared there is nothing more exciting to me then to be on my knees and offically welcomed into a family,since moving overseas i have not been collared and miss it greatly as well as missing those that once owned me

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 45

RE: Never Been Collared - 8/24/2006 9:26:48 AM

CuteIrishM4F

Posts: 104
Joined: 7/19/2004
Status: offline

i'm still waiting to find the RIGHT Woman, but honestly, i doubt its going to happen. i'm just not that lucky.

a.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 46

RE: Never Been Collared - 9/6/2006 1:40:19 PM

lizziepink

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

There have been some very beautiful thoughts in some of the previous posts. I for one do not rate marriage at all. To me ANY commitment can be broken, people change or were not who you thought they were in the first place.

I think that i will know when i am owned, it will simply be. i have not been collared but then i am new. Do i wish to be collared? i do not know to be honest. i wish to be owned heart and soul and body. i wish for the marks of his ownership on my body. But any standard conventional form of commitment, even within an alternative lifestyle, makes me wary. There seem to be preconceptions of what it means.

i think i would prefer something organic that grows from complete honesty within the relationship and the circumstances. And that total immersion of yourself in your submission to someone you adore and are in awe of, is all i seek. Not alot wanted there lol. As soon as you put a need for commitment on a relationship it changes. i almost feel as maintaining the relationship because of a symbol becomes more important than the honesty and truth of recognising what and where your relationship is. Of course this is my view and reflects my priorities right now. And of course receiving a collar or symbol from a Master i adore may be very important to me, but right now its the emotional and pyscological place that i want/need/crave/desire/seek. And as most seem to be looking i wish you all luck.

lizzie.

no tags or appropriate quotes. too new :)

(in reply to CuteIrishM4F)

Post #: 47

RE: Never Been Collared - 9/6/2006 7:39:33 PM

ownedandcollared

Posts: 217
Joined: 1/21/2006
Status: offline

i am collared now.

years and years ago, i received an online collar from somebody. Now, though i have a real collar from my Master, and i have had my collar for...about a year now, though i have been His for three and a half.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 48

RE: Never Been Collared - 9/6/2006 7:41:29 PM

corsetgirl

Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline

I have never been collared but I also agree with LA that such a commitment should not be rushed. It used to bother me as I would call this "collar envy" because at munches, I would see the collared subs. However, I also noticed that some were collared too soon only to be released later and not necessarily on the part of the dom.

Exploration, training and compatibility takes time between a dom/domme and sub/slave.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 49

RE: Never Been Collared - 9/7/2006 3:51:19 AM

maledave777

Posts: 67
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline

I have never received a collar before. I do desire to find a dominant woman to have a long-term relationship with her. I would desire to marry her. I would love to receive a collar from her.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 50

RE: Never Been Collared - 9/7/2006 9:18:53 PM

babysburnin

Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline

I'm collared - it's not an engagement ring, not a wedding ring, not even a promise ring ... My situation is complicated, and none of those "symbols" are important. I'm not collared by a simple materialistic symbol, but more importantly by a TRUE devotion. I had a "ROCK" of a diamond before ... I actually ended up paying for it.

< Message edited by babysburnin -- 9/7/2006 9:19:48 PM >

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 51

RE: Never Been Collared - 9/8/2006 3:43:30 AM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I was wondering how many submissives here have never received a collar (Im talking about a full collar)? If you haven't is it because you are not anxious for one, have never had a power dynamic, or because you are in the process of building one?

Personally, I am not in a rush for that level of commitment, and wouldn't mind being never collared at all rather than be collared to the wrong one. I have heard many submissives that have been collared talk about what it means to them, etc, and I was just wondering a little about people like me, those who never have been collared.

I just have never found the right one yet.....

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 52

RE: Never Been Collared - 9/8/2006 6:42:11 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

The post about "collar envy" - don't be envious of a symbol. Unless you know the couple involved, you have no idea what that collar symbolizes. People can be collared and have lousy relationships (we see proof of that here frequently). Or their relationship may not be the same type of "relationship" that you think of when you think of "collar". There are many variables. I don't think a collar is anything to be envious of. I know couples where the sub is not collared, but they have a close, loving relationship. It's just a symbol of what their relationship means to them, nothing more.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 53

RE: Never Been Collared - 9/8/2006 7:17:50 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

I have been collared once. Unfortantely that collar has been become meaningless and I know (almost a year after that master decided to leave) wear it both during scenes and as a pretty thing around my neck. No I don't wear it all the time and there was a long time when I wouldn't wear it. The memories have faded now and been replaced with better ones.

I want to be collared again but I'm not in a rush. My boyfriend/dominant has said that if we get to the point in the relationship where he doesn't see himself spending his life with anyone but me he will put a collar around my neck. This probably won't be soon but it mean a lot ot me when he does.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 54

RE: Never Been Collared - 9/8/2006 8:45:33 AM

Sunshine119

Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline

As I've mentioned here on many posts, I've been with the Dominant I live with 24/7 for the last two years but I am not collared. I was married for 20 years....he was married for 23. We both know that it isn't pieces of jewelry that hold people together. We live a full D/s relationship all the time but I'm in NO hurry for a permanent symbol of that relationship. He has made some light kidding that my "collaring" might come as a brand, as a collar, or even a nice necklace wouldn't be appropriate for all situations. It isn't a big deal for either of us. I am his. In the end, that is all that matters.

_____________________________

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 55

RE: Never Been Collared - 9/9/2006 5:15:51 PM

sultryvoice

Posts: 368
Joined: 3/31/2004
Status: offline

I have never been collared. When I first came into all this, I was intrigued by that symbol. Now, if I get one, great. If I don't, that's fine too. I learned early on about the so called "Dominants" that buy collars by the gross! First, I have to have a relationship and I don't have anything or anyone near that. I am usually the odd woman out when going to parties and such. I wasn't comfortable for a long time, but now, I don't care. I am happy no matter what.

< Message edited by sultryvoice -- 9/9/2006 5:17:00 PM >

_____________________________

Blessed are the cracked,
For it is they who let in the light.

www.themarkbycpi.com

(in reply to Sunshine119)

Post #: 56

RE: Never Been Collared - 9/9/2006 6:54:18 PM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline

I've never been collared. I was in a relationship with a Dom for a long time who, after I decided not to play with him anymore because I had become increasingly frightened of him, insisted that he had collared me. He only came up with this idea AFTER I broke off the D/s part of our relationship, and once he started doing stuff like this, I refused to see him in any capacity because it was really scary.

I suppose its not surprising that the thought of a "collar" makes me feel a bit panicky. Headgames aren't fun.

Even before this happened, though, I was never all that stuck on 'having' one. I agree that they're often treated as status symbols, and, I'm not entirely certain that I can tolerate being owned on that level. It would have to be a very very serious relationship. LA's minimum of 6 months seems really short to me. :) I'd say, at the very least, two years and probably more.

(in reply to onestandingstill)

Post #: 57

RE: Never Been Collared - 9/10/2006 5:51:48 PM

arttemis

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/14/2006
Status: offline

No, I have never been collared. Like marriage, it is something I hope to only happen once in my life. There have been dominant men in my life who have filled very important and special places in my life. But in none of those relationships did it seem like a forever thing. So while there will continue to be men in my life, I'm not willing to make that serious of a commitment until we are both desirous of the collar, the kids and the picket fence.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 58

RE: Never Been Collared - 9/10/2006 6:05:39 PM

corsetgirl

Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

The post about "collar envy" - don't be envious of a symbol. Unless you know the couple involved, you have no idea what that collar symbolizes. People can be collared and have lousy relationships (we see proof of that here frequently). Or their relationship may not be the same type of "relationship" that you think of when you think of "collar". There are many variables. I don't think a collar is anything to be envious of. I know couples where the sub is not collared, but they have a close, loving relationship. It's just a symbol of what their relationship means to them, nothing more.

Well, I see that now as I used to have this notion that when a sub is collared, then the couple must be happy, which is not true at times. Sometimes, appearances are not all of what they seem to be. Besides, it is not the collar that makes a sub happy but the relationship dynamics between a dom and the sub.

< Message edited by corsetgirl -- 9/10/2006 6:07:58 PM >

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 59

RE: Never Been Collared - 9/10/2006 7:23:02 PM

sharainks

Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline

I think a collar means what the people in the relationship want it to mean. The same with wearing a wedding ring. I've never seen a lot of need for either one. If you know you are committed to that person a physical symbol means very little. If you aren't committed a physical symbol will not make it be so.

I didn't wear a wedding ring through most of my marriage. I knew I was married and conducted myself as a monogamous married woman.

(in reply to corsetgirl)

Post #: 60

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