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RE: liars, wannabes, cheating spouses, money hunters, t... - 4/24/2004 9:33:35 AM

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stormiKnightBEAR

Sherri you are off your rocker if you think that for one minute i am insisting that it mean anything to anyone. WHAT no one seems to understand......... and it's one of those if the shoe fits sayings...... LIFE does not have to be about half truths or lies.

IF someone is adult enough to make a decision then by god dayum be adult enought to be HONEST.....

stormi, I included the quote above only because of the remarkable difference in tone between this, your response to Sherri, and your opening post. Methinks Sherri got your blood pumping and breathed a bit of life into you there, and that isn't a bad thing! I absolutely like what you said, and agree. However, I also agree with Sherri.

I am also Poly, and have been in the lifestyle forever and ever (amen). We keep what we like, what is useful, beautiful, and loved (thank you, Sarah ban Breathnach) and leave the rest. That is not to say what you practice in your lifestyle is bad, or wrong. It is merely saying it doesn't fit or agree with mine.

What we absolutely agree on is that the "players" and "posuers" should somehow be weeded out. We do that individually, and as a group, regardless of our preferences within the lifestyle. As Mistress Dread said, when the internet put the world at our fingertips, it also opened the door for the game players and posuers as well.

stormi, we make the changes by our demonstrations, walking our talk, leading by example. I've made some good friends here at collarme, I've met one

, and will be meeting another very soon. I have three subs who maintain their membership here (two are active on the message boards) , one will be 24/7 very soon. I have other friends in the lifestyle that I have invited to join collarme, and encourage them to participate here at the forums. It's all about communication. Let's always communicate with one another. By doing that, we narrow the playing field for the game players and posuers.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)

RE: liars, wannabes, cheating spouses, money hunters, t... - 4/25/2004 3:45:29 PM

stormiKnightBEAR

Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
Status: offline

Lady Beckett Ma'am,
Thank You for your post. You said most likely said it alot better than stormi could have or did.
Admittedly, it's frustrating when you know someone who is such a great character... fun, witty,
good friend, and yet they are so often misjudged by the outside appearance.
stormi has rode both sides of that saddle... by being a very thin curvy girl yet just a plain ole'
simple country bumpkin, to being a heavy plain ole' country bumpkin. stormi does not see in herself
what Master or her other family/friends sees. That is probably a good thing, as what they see causes
stormi to be shy and easily embarassed and red on a country bumpkin is NOT a good thing. Trust me.. LOL.
But this stormi does know, she's met and seen both Top/Doms and bottom/submissives that will
look a possible partner in the eye and lie like a dog how noooo size does not matter or you are perfect
for me. And in one swift move of the keyboard, the possible good thing the partner is thinking they met
has put them on block, or emails that that "someone" is too fat, or refers to them as lifestock or dogs. That is
where stormi just wants to smack them in the head and say dayum can't you see the possibilities in the eyes???
Did you even bother to see if they had more to offer??? In short .... did you read the book or toss it because
the cover was not pretty enough???
See admittedly, stormi felt that way, and lo and behold .... came Master who sees stormi thru HIS eyes
and she is not perfect but the one thing that Master has done .. is inspire stormi to try and be better than she
feels she is. That's a good thing.
Enough of the personal.... basically... i just think it would be nice to know ahead of time how someone who
is a ........ whatever name you want to use ....... is or has done with others to help others in the lifestyle not
be burned. That's all.
Again Thank You Ma'am.

In Leather Respect,
stormi
property of Master Bear

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

RE: liars, wannabes, cheating spouses, money hunters, t... - 4/25/2004 4:53:44 PM

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

quote:

That is
where stormi just wants to smack them in the head and say dayum can't you see the possibilities in the eyes???
Did you even bother to see if they had more to offer??? In short .... did you read the book or toss it because
the cover was not pretty enough???

We cannot tell others what to see, or what to like/prefer. We are not going to always approve or agree with the choices of others, just as they aren't always going to approve or agree with ours. Because they don't like "fat" people doesn't affect your value, your position, or you as a person. Don't take it personally. You allowed yourself to be upset by something that had absolutely nothing to do with you. If someone were to say they didn't want me for a Mistress because they don't like Scottish Women, I wouldn't be upset and want to smack them in the head and say, "damn, can't you see the possibilities in the eyes???" It wouldn't mean anything to me at all. Aye, I am Scottish, but they don't know me, and therefore it couldn't possibly be "personal". Don't accept things that aren't "personal".

I agree with you, stormi, that it would be nice if more people, when creating their profile, would include their preferences regarding physical features, ie "prefer redheads", or "no BBW please" so that everyone is clear on what the expectations are.

I like the sound of "country bumpkin" it speaks of charm and sincerity.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)

RE: liars, wannabes, cheating spouses, money hunters, t... - 4/26/2004 6:38:02 AM

stormiKnightBEAR

Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
Status: offline

Thank You Ma'am.

Point taken, it's the whole wanting people you care about not to be hurt. stormi learned long ago be who you are and let things fall where they may. As stormi said that horse has been riden on both sides of the saddle. It's watching those you care about be hurt that is something that riles up the protective side of things in stormi and that results in what is
referred to *the firecracker keyboard* by her Master and leather family.

Thank You for understanding!

With Respect,
stormi
property of Master Bear

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

RE: liars, wannabes, cheating spouses, money hunters, t... - 4/29/2004 11:49:46 AM

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
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From my perspective, somebody who "black balls" or says negative things about another person by name makes me think less of the person doing the nattering.

There is a concept in electronics / physics called impedance mismatch. An object has certain impedances which are normal to that object. When two objects are combined (say, in an electrical circuit) their impedances may line up in such a way that the circuit does not work at all. There is nothing technically wrong with either part, they just wont work together.

Relationships, to me, are very similar to this. Sometimes they just dont work, and it is nobodies fault.

I am also in agreement with the poster who said that relationships take a lot of work. What a person gets out of something is proportional to the amount a person puts in to something.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to londonswitch)

RE: liars, wannabes, cheating spouses, money hunters, t... - 4/29/2004 12:09:16 PM

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

quote:

From my perspective, somebody who "black balls" or says negative things about another person by name makes me think less of the person doing the nattering.

"nattering" lol, My Mam used that term a lot.

I've never understood that "For me to be good you have to be bad" concept. I just don't like it and I've never allowed myself to be involved in that sort of thing. My family does that a lot. If my father is angry with one of my siblings, then whoever speaks to that sibling, of course, gets their name added to the list as well. Oh darn! I'm going to talk to whoever I want to talk to, and if someone else doesn't like them, welllllll that is between the two of them and has nothing to do with me.

In this type of forum it is a different story. If it involves one of My subs, I will instruct them to back off and put the person on ignore, end of story. I don't care who is right, wrong, or otherwise. If they owe someone an apology, it will be given, and they will drop it henceforth.

People are going to disagree. Fact of life. lol I do believe we can manage that in a civil manner.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: liars, wannabes, cheating spouses, money hunters, t... - 4/29/2004 6:10:31 PM

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

Nattering is a term from Britain which describes negative chatter about other people.

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

RE: liars, wannabes, cheating spouses, money hunters, t... - 4/30/2004 11:07:56 AM

Posts: 14
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I am also in agreement with the poster who said that relationships take a lot of work. What a person gets out of something is proportional to the amount a person puts in to something.

Sinergy

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: liars, wannabes, cheating spouses, money hunters, t... - 4/30/2004 11:37:35 AM

Posts: 146
Joined: 3/30/2004
Status: offline

MistressDread I agree with you on your opion and viewpoint. I think those who do not understadn what it means to be in this lifestyle are baseing every thing on vanilla guidelines. I think we are getting to many players, wannabees, and preditors on_line period and it is hurting our lifestyle. We choose this lifestyle for a reason and that is because we are tire of Bs. We live by a code and honor that was part of old guard. Too many people treat the lifestyle that is on_line like a game. This lifestyle for some is to have fun and not take it serious. That is fine but for those who truely understand understand we are taking some onesl ife in our hands and it is up to us to protect them mind, body, and spirit. Thay why we go to munches, events, and read books so we can learn how handle any emergency that can arrise with our sub/slave. We also do it to improve our skillsand techniquices.

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

RE: liars, wannabes, cheating spouses, money hunters, t... - 4/30/2004 12:49:37 PM

Posts: 14
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

"I am also in agreement with the poster who said that relationships take a lot of work. What a person gets out of something is proportional to the amount a person puts in to something."

I'm surprised that someone actually remembers something that I posted here. Thank you - I feel honored.

I was recently chastized for not posting after making a comment regarding this thread to a friend. This is simply my opinion, and as I mentioned to my lady friend that urged me to post this, I doubt that anything I offer here will change one opinion, but perhaps it will provide some food for thought.
I will begin by saying that I was a very unhappy person for a long time, but continued trying to live a vanilla life that eventually resulted in a heart attack, nearly ending my life. A short time later, about 5 years ago, I was introduced to the lifestyle and it's made a tremendous difference. Although some may feel that I'm currently living a lie, I think I was living a much larger lie before I admitted to what I am, and did something about it. I am a "wannabe" but I've never determined if I am really a submissive male "wanting to be" a vanilla, responsible husband and family man, or if I am a vanilla, responsible husband and family man "wanting to be" a submissive male. I just know that I had a miserable life until I found this avenue, until I was taken by a domme and introduced to the lifestyle. Yes, I am a cheating spouse - I don't know what I would have been, or if I had been at all, had I not stopped fighting it and surrendered to my submissive tendencies. My spouse was, and would have continued to be very miserable as well, had I not taken action to reconcile my being, accepted it, and settled my mind (to answer the question - No! she does not know).
When I hear the words, "In a perfect world" I always think back on the things about the lifestyle that initially impressed me so much - people were so accepting of others, and if they were judgemental, they kept the negative opinions to themselves. I was also thoroughly impressed by the courteous and respectful protocol. There were no public squabbles in the local group and if there was even a hint of one emerging, the dominants would quickly take the subs in private and that was the end of it, except for perhaps some temporary red skin and a few tears on occassion. The dominants were serious about respect, and not only governed themselves accordingly, but policed the conduct of the subs.
I have been amazed at the devotion that "true" collared subs feel for their D's, in both mono and poly relationships - the bond is as strong as any legal marriage I have ever known, and in some cases is the same as. The collar is not something the local group takes lightly. I've met a number of married dom/mes and subs in the local org, some that participate with their spouses knowledge, and some that chose to live the dual life for fear of reprisal (family, job, etc.). To those that have never thought about it, living the dual life is not an easy thing to do, but it's a lot easier if the individual is at least honest in their lifestyle activity and admits to being attached to minimize the complications as much as possible. It's important to realize that the D's and subs that are married to others outside the lifestyle, do fill an essential need that each has, and the lives of the non-participants can benefit from their spouses activity. It's not just play - it's filling a need!

(in reply to philurdesires)

RE: liars, wannabes, cheating spouses, money hunters, t... - 4/30/2004 6:44:48 PM

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I agree with you, stormi, that it would be nice if more people, when creating their profile, would include their preferences regarding physical features, ie "prefer redheads", or "no BBW please" so that everyone is clear on what the expectations are.

M'Lady,

The problem with that is things that are not essential but just perfered will be seen as limits. i like red heads and chess players. If i put that on my profile and we did not know eachother, wouldn't you jusy pass me by because your hair is not red and you play gin-rummy?

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

RE: liars, wannabes, cheating spouses, money hunters, t... - 5/3/2004 2:04:08 PM

stormiKnightBEAR

Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I have been amazed at the devotion that "true" collared subs feel for their D's, in both mono and poly relationships - the bond is as strong as any legal marriage I have ever known, and in some cases is the same as. The collar is not something the local group takes lightly. I've met a number of married dom/mes and subs in the local org, some that participate with their spouses knowledge, and some that chose to live the dual life for fear of reprisal (family, job, etc.). To those that have never thought about it, living the dual life is not an easy thing to do, but it's a lot easier if the individual is at least honest in their lifestyle activity and admits to being attached to minimize the complications as much as possible. It's important to realize that the D's and subs that are married to others outside the lifestyle, do fill an essential need that each has, and the lives of the non-participants can benefit from their spouses activity. It's not just play - it's filling a need!

Most of the sub/slaves that stormi knows take their ko'lar <Gorean> / collars very serious.
Master and stormi took a vow of commitment to the Master/slave relationship in front of friends from both sides of our family, Master's Gorean friends and stormi's Leather Family.

To us it's just as important... maybe more so for stormi. Because stormi will readily admit,
that Master is probably the most single important thing that has ever happened to her. There is also the fact that stormi can not remember working this hard to keep a marriage of 24+ yrs working.

Thank you for your positive look at those of us who feel this way

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to philurdesires)

RE: liars, wannabes, cheating spouses, money hunters, t... - 5/3/2004 4:42:24 PM

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MizSuz,

Try second person plural.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to MizSuz)

RE: liars, wannabes, cheating spouses, money hunters, t... - 5/3/2004 4:46:39 PM

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

stormiKnightBear,

I don't want to upset you, but I think a collar is a good device to bind me by the neck without killing me.

Despite not feeling about the way you do, I think I'm a good person. (as for a good dedicated submissive, that's not my call.)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)

RE: liars, wannabes, cheating spouses, money hunters, t... - 5/4/2004 5:35:10 AM

stormiKnightBEAR

Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
Status: offline

hmmmmmmm..................

<looking around and reading all the post>.........

wondering who said that a ko'lar/collar has the same meaning to everyone???

It is believed that someone stated what it means to some - including stormi.
Don't believe that stormi or anyone else said that it has to have the same meaning.

On a personal note..... it is stormi's experience that those that live the Leather lifestyle,
(there is a difference between BDSM and Leather just as there is a difference between those that are what some call *weekend warriors* or *wannabes* and those that take a
D/s relationship seriously.) place a great deal of importance on a ko'lar/collar. As witnessed by many on last Friday night during a collaring ceremony.

That said, there are many who do not place that kind of importance on a ko'lar/collar. Master placed a ko'lar that has not been off in nearly a year (broke the hasp once).
Master also places a locked ko'lar on stormi every night. For U/us it's a symbol... a reminder of O/our committment to one another. Is that wrong? Nope. Is it that way for everyone? Nope. But the bottom line is, it's what works for Master and stormi. No one else is required to understand or asked to.

So see stormi is well aware of things like *velcro necks/collars* or those collars/submissives that do not carry the same meaning and it's OK because for stormi...
it's simple..... It's a piece of Master that even when things are rough or stormi is in a situation where she needs Master and He can't be there...... stormi merely reaches to her throat and caresses the Heart locket with the rose inside and hears Master's voice telling stormi "Minnnnnnnne".

Well there's that <smiling> and the fact that stormi also wears 5 more pieces of jewerly from Master as well as two tatoos including the Bear paw on her breast. All of it serve as
signs of commitment between Master and stormi.

be well,
stormi
property of Master Bear

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: liars, wannabes, cheating spouses, money hunters, t... - 5/4/2004 10:52:57 AM

Posts: 729
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline

quote:

That said, there are many who do not place that kind of importance on a ko'lar/collar.

There is also the fact that a collar doesn't always mean something physical. I personally am allergic to most jewelry, and even have problems with the snaps on leather. Master is hestitant to go the piercing route because of the problems with jewelry. He doesn't overly like tatoo's or brandings enough to want me to have one. I *can* wear a collar for an hour or two, but the fact that I do not normally wear one does not mean I do not always have one on in my mind....

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)

RE: liars, wannabes, cheating spouses, money hunters, t... - 5/5/2004 11:05:57 AM

stormiKnightBEAR

Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
Status: offline

Thinking it might be good to hire a professional read between the lines person. As it seems that EVERYONE tried to read between the lines of what stormi and others write.

News Flash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

stormi writes exactly what she means. NO hidden meaning.

Estrict, everyone has to do what is RIGHT for THEM. What works here for Master and stormi does not work for others. NO ONE is telling anyone to the best of stormi's knowledge
that what they do is wrong. It may not be right for another but it certainly does not make it wrong for the person talking about it.

be well....

stormi
property of Master Bear

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to EStrict)

RE: liars, wannabes, cheating spouses, money hunters, t... - 5/5/2004 12:22:28 PM

Posts: 729
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Thinking it might be good to hire a professional read between the lines person. As it seems that EVERYONE tried to read between the lines of what stormi and others write.

News Flash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

stormi writes exactly what she means. NO hidden meaning.

Stormi, what's with the ranting? First of all, I didn't read anything between the lines, I actually supported you. I said that what a collar means is personal, be it a *physcial* one that everyone can see, or something not as physical. Try living by your above words and quite reading into things.

As Kiss pointed out early, you seem to take every comment as a personal attack. It's not. Even if I disagreed with you (which is my right), which BTW, I don't, it would not be PERSONAL. I would be disagreeing with the way I perceive the concept as *I* see it. Not judging the actions of some cyber people (not saying you are not RL, only that you are only someone a screen to me) who I believe should live as they wish.

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)

RE: liars, wannabes, cheating spouses, money hunters, t... - 5/5/2004 2:07:08 PM

stormiKnightBEAR

Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
Status: offline

simply put .........

be well and DONE!

stormi
property of Master Bear

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to EStrict)

RE: liars, wannabes, cheating spouses, money hunters, t... - 5/5/2004 9:40:17 PM

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
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It's always the ones who scream about tolerance that are the most judgemental. Sandy explains that you attacked her even as she agreed with you, and that is all you can say to her? All you do on here is pass judgement on everyone! Is your Master hibernating? That would explain why he is not keeping you in line. You are an embarassment!

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)

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