Is this too funny or what?? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

onestandingstill -> Is this too funny or what?? (8/23/2006 12:11:45 PM)

This message hit my inbox today

"It would appear that you have forsaken the physical poly or otherwise. I wanted you to appear in a biblical version of a movie about BDSM for which we already have financing, as Ruth or possibly Esther..."
I think the lengths some people go to to convince you to do what they want instead of what you say you're doing are too funny.

What's the funniest one you've ever gotten?
Suzanne

[Mod Note:  quoted email trimmed]



sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/23/2006 12:21:56 PM)

Wow, that is a good one.



Mercnbeth -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/23/2006 12:31:35 PM)

So, are you going to reevaluate your decision so you can have your movie career take off?

Don't you know a similar offer was made to Julia Roberts concerning her non-movie career before she was offered her "Pretty Woman" role. She had to do some "method acting" with the producers.



onestandingstill -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/23/2006 1:39:21 PM)

I'm surprised there's no funny messages being recounted here. I'd have thought there'd be some doozies out there to share with us all. Any takers?
I really would be interested in hearing other's unusual or hysterical opening lines.



windchymes -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/23/2006 1:42:30 PM)

Maybe it was Tom Cruise?  Or Mel Gibson? [;)]

(Sorry can't relate any "doozies"....nothing I've ever received comes close to yours! lol)



Steelriven -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/23/2006 1:52:14 PM)

That's funny! Most of the ones I get are either vulgar, or lack total comon sence.

Example:

Hay luv u profile u want 2 chat? What u into?

I've got tons of em...

Steelriven



popeye1250 -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/23/2006 2:04:55 PM)

And of course there'd be a casting couch involved, right?
You know, "just to see if you're *right* for the part!"
Would the guy give you your own dressing trailor too?
How about limo service to and fro?
I get a bunch from guys wanting me to "Dom them."
No thanks guys! I'm not into guys at all!
I've gotten a few from Dommes wanting to "whip my butt" too.
(For whatever reason I don't know.)



agirl -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/23/2006 2:08:53 PM)

None of the messages I get are *that* weird, nor ever rude or offensive....... but I did get an amusing one today that simply said ...... **You may reply, politely**   Erm........I was wondering just *what* I was supposed to reply to......lol

agirl



Inhibitor -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/23/2006 3:32:53 PM)

I've been getting lots of emails from a "dom" who I did not contact, insisting over and over that we *are* going to talk despite my total lack of interest. . Oh, but he must have more pictures of me as an "act of faith" before he'll talk (even though I never prompted him to).

The best part is the constant hypocrisy (my profile states that I'm taken and not looking):

"I understand and respect your position(s)--but ..."
"I DO appreciate your position(s).  But..."

The guy's profile is as telling as a blank wall, too.
It's like...what? You found my wallet? You gonna tell me the secret to immortality?

That and this 70 year old asshat who's convinced that I'm his "domme" because I told him off for writing me a stupid and disrespectful email and he got his jollies over it. Help meeeee.



stockingluvr54 -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/23/2006 4:30:51 PM)

too bad..."you coulda been a star!"  lol.....



Slipstreme -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/23/2006 4:39:39 PM)

I ended up getting a rude one from a Gorean FW who I asked politely for some information about being a Dominant Gorean woman. Her reply basically told me that she thought my question was just a waste of her time and that I am unworthy to know what it is like to be a Dominant woman.

Got an email from one guy that said somthing to the effect of "Hello Mistress. I would serve your every needs over webcam". Never mention the fact I already have a family, of which I am Master (I hate the female use of the word Mistress), and as such, am not looking for anyone. especially a cyber guy.

Got one from a Dom, who gave me his yahoo ID and said to IM him. Yeah, thanks for the lack of a real introduction.

I swear some people don't know what the purpose of a profile is.



SweetSarijane -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/23/2006 4:48:03 PM)

OMG that is utterly histerical! It would really take something to top that one lol.



subinsouth -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/23/2006 5:04:18 PM)

how about this one and this is the first message EVER
 
'you may step forward now'
 
gaaahhhhh!! 



porcelaine -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/23/2006 5:45:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

I think the lengths some people go to to convince you to do what they want instead of what you say you're doing are too funny.

What's the funniest one you've ever gotten?



*cracking up* How hilarious! I received this one the other day:

"Guessing many here have offered to bone your china!"

porcelaine



KatyLied -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/23/2006 5:51:36 PM)

I received this note from a guy full of charm:

I will spank and fuck your ass.



Donnalee -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/23/2006 6:01:52 PM)

Here's one I've got:

I've read your profile and will permit you to contact Me.

Yeah, riiight.  The profile that says I'm not looking for anyone???  Ug.



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/23/2006 6:23:49 PM)

Lets see, My psycho ex-gf and sub tracked down my boy and emailed hima few choice messages. That was an interesting butting of heads. She kept trying to convince him that, after 4 years of searching for me after I dismissed her for beating the hell out of one of my male subs, that she would "steal" me away from him becasue as a girl she would always be more important...

And there was a Dom who contacted my boy to have him put ina good word with me about possibly having athreesome, so that he can discover my glorious submissive side...

And then theres always the ones who demand my boys name so taht they can check and see if im actually taken and not just trying to blow them off.  those are always amusing.

DV



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/23/2006 6:26:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Donnalee

Here's one I've got:

I've read your profile and will permit you to contact Me.

Yeah, riiight.  The profile that says I'm not looking for anyone???  Ug.


Oh, I love these... My boy gets them on occasion.  He tells me about it, ad then his replies are usually
"My Mistress appreciates my having recieved permission to contact you.  SHE has given me permission to tell you very respectfully to go take a flying fuck.

Have a lovely day"

DV



spankmepink11 -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/23/2006 6:47:03 PM)

I've had too many of the the "hi wanna chat? s" to mention.

I also got the "i liked your profile, you may approach"  

One of my favorites was from a young man who stated that while he had never performed oral sex on another man, he would greatly appreciate me instructing him on the fine art of fellatio.

Edited to add:  I can't believe i forgot the one from a gentleman who said "Spankmepink....have you ever truly been spanked?...my guess would be no" 



SleeplessGypsy -> RE: Is this too funny or what?? (8/23/2006 6:49:33 PM)

I get, 'do you smoke'? alot...

Last week I had a dood tell me that the CocaCola company in London is interested in my picture for a world wide campaign and are going to pay me something like 10grand... All I needed to do was send this man all my private info and he'd get back to me....[8|] Yeah, I'll get right on that...

His profile stated he was a Dom in Virginia... I told him he was full of Poop and to go bug someone else...



Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.0625