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RE: Who taught You about Bdsm? - 9/7/2006 1:15:44 PM   
briannastorm


Posts: 5
Joined: 8/7/2006
Status: offline 		as a little girl always having "feelings" and not understanding what they meant ~ being spanked and not giving the response that was expected and so on and so forth. i remember at the age of 8-9 playing "house" with friends who were a bit older than i was (15-16), but taking on that "slave like" role.  serving.. so wanting to make everyone happy..and wanting to do things that i really didnt understand...   i accually really didnt find out what all these things that i was missing until i was 20, and a friend of mine who was Dominant told me one day that i was submissive, and proceeded to fill that emptiness i had felt for so long.  and ever since that day i have known who and what i am and long each day to learn and grow and become a better submissive

(in reply to DigitBox)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Who taught You about Bdsm? - 9/7/2006 1:48:20 PM   
ownedandcollared


Posts: 217
Joined: 1/21/2006
Status: offline 		i learned the basics from my cousin when i was 7...the more hardcore mindfucks and sadistic qualities from my first master when i was 14, and the D/s qualities from my Master starting at 16 and still a-goin'

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Who taught You about Bdsm? - 9/7/2006 1:49:58 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedandcollared
i learned the basics from my cousin when i was 7...the more hardcore mindfucks and sadistic qualities from my first master when i was 14, and the D/s qualities from my Master starting at 16 and still a-goin'

But you've gotten past that "switches are confused and don't know who they are" crazy talk now, yes?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ownedandcollared)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Who taught You about Bdsm? - 9/7/2006 1:52:10 PM   
ownedandcollared


Posts: 217
Joined: 1/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedandcollared
i learned the basics from my cousin when i was 7...the more hardcore mindfucks and sadistic qualities from my first master when i was 14, and the D/s qualities from my Master starting at 16 and still a-goin'

But you've gotten past that "switches are confused and don't know who they are" crazy talk now, yes?



lmao, are you really gonna hold that against me?
sorry, Lucky, it is still my opinion that switches are confused about what role in life they want to take. But, as my Owner says, opinions are like assholes---everyone has one.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Who taught You about Bdsm? - 9/7/2006 1:59:37 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedandcollared
sorry, Lucky, it is still my opinion that switches are confused about what role in life they want to take. But, as my Owner says, opinions are like assholes---everyone has one.

The problem is that this isn't an opinion.  Saying "All homosexuals are confused" is a statement of fact.  A false one.

I am a switch.  I used to be a slave.  Then I started to top (with my masters encouragement).  Now I am a switch.  I don't think I'm at all confused about my orientation.  I'm quite happy, stable and secure.  As are my partners.

And I'm certainly not the only one.  So unless you want to tell me that I'm lying about myself, or so confused about who I am after all these years to not know who I am and that YOU know me better than I know me...your theory is false.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ownedandcollared)
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RE: Who taught You about Bdsm? - 9/7/2006 2:10:19 PM   
MistressTaboo


Posts: 147
Joined: 6/10/2005
Status: offline 		My former fiance got into what I thought was S&M...strap-on play and bondage...When I met my husband he was very into it all...so I got introduced to more stuff...CBT, canning, flogging,etc...When we got into the scene I was lucky to get a few good mentors...one is a bull whip master who taught me no matter what you can't let your ego get involved in your scenes...and to make sure you are having fun with what you are doing...Another is a Master Dyke and she taught me that you can't be a Domme without a submissive and that you should cherish their submission. The third was a ProDomme who taught me that it's really ok to me myself...and that my man will love me even more for it...

I could have done it without them...it would have just taken a lot longer...and had more pitfalls along the way...

_____________________________

"I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed" Meredith Brooks

(in reply to briannastorm)
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RE: Who taught You about Bdsm? - 9/7/2006 2:29:03 PM   
MistressTaboo


Posts: 147
Joined: 6/10/2005
Status: offline 		I've talked to a lot of people about this subject. After talking to them all I fully believe that no one is 100% one way or the other...it's closer to 85% or so...there is something in your life that you are the opposite of what you think you are...either in the scene or out. Even the most committed Dom's don't rule the kitchen...or some other part of life. There is something that they give on or just don't care on. Switches it seems are closer to 60-40%. But I don't think they are confused...if anything they are more aware of themselves than most.They know their limits and what they do and don't want.

My husband is my slave...but he also tops..does he get the whole power exchange out of it that I do when I play him or another sub? No...but he still enjoys it...does he think of himself as a Dom? No...does he think of himself as a switch? No because for him it's closer to 85% sub and 15% Dom...he calls himself a slave that occasionally tops...

I think your confusion is in the labeling...A Top is not a Dom...a bottom is not a submissive...or a slave...a switch is like a BI person...are you saying that a person can only love a woman or a man? That they can't love both? Are they are just confused?

The most important thing in this life style is never to have a closed mind...And never say Never.




_____________________________

"I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed" Meredith Brooks

(in reply to ownedandcollared)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Who taught You about Bdsm? - 9/7/2006 2:32:50 PM   
jamesthehumanrug


Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline 		greetings ,knees 2,
that's almost the chicken /egg question;
was i smarter to want s and m bdsm ;or
did i embrace the physical and mental pain
 way ,before i could think,to feel -mmmm good?.
*Do we all get flash backs, and ,do the same exact activity that got us into s and m, by family ,or childhood siblings? ,or ,
not everyone has 'flashbacks', and ,has the desire ,and, cant wait to fill those desires ,as an adult!?
i like to think it's the latter ,rather than the former example of oh' I DID ALL THIS BEFORE; EXACTLY ;ALL MY LIFE GROWING UP;NOW YOU ....
IT ,JUST SEEMS CREAMIER ,TO ME ,TO HAVE THE DEEP-SEATED PROCLIVITIES, TO FIANALLY FIND A 'SOULMATE', AND, ACT IT OUT ,AS A CHOOSING ADULT ;....
its more conscious rather than "automatic-pilot"
[quote]ORIGINAL: knees2you

Ok just sitting wondering,
Who taught You about Bdsm,
and when did You fully embrace it?
 
quote:

"If a Sanke bites before it is Charmed there is no profit for the Charmer!" 

 
Ant, & LilBecque


< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 9/7/2006 2:39:50 PM >

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I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: Who taught You about Bdsm? - 9/7/2006 2:35:41 PM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		There was no specific "who".My own want I guess would be a good answer.

When....Ummm I dont know exactly "when" just that I do.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to knees2you)
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RE: Who taught You about Bdsm? - 9/7/2006 2:39:48 PM   
WhipTheHip


Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline 		It was all part of my fantasy from the age of 12-14.

An FBI profiler once commented that certain sex offenders
all seemed to have read the same book. 


_____________________________



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RE: Who taught You about Bdsm? - 9/7/2006 2:49:39 PM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedandcollared
sorry, Lucky, it is still my opinion that switches are confused about what role in life they want to take. But, as my Owner says, opinions are like assholes---everyone has one.

The problem is that this isn't an opinion.  Saying "All homosexuals are confused" is a statement of fact.  A false one.

I am a switch.  I used to be a slave.  Then I started to top (with my masters encouragement).  Now I am a switch.  I don't think I'm at all confused about my orientation.  I'm quite happy, stable and secure.  As are my partners.

And I'm certainly not the only one.  So unless you want to tell me that I'm lying about myself, or so confused about who I am after all these years to not know who I am and that YOU know me better than I know me...your theory is false.


If I may interject... wherein the confusion lies is that many people are confused about it means to be a switch.

1) The simplest explanation is "a person who is equally prepared mentally as well as physically to both serve or be served at any given moment" (... does that work for you LA?)

2) a player in BDSM who is sadomasochistic could also be called a switch.

One can be a submissive who tops or a dominant that bottoms, but this isn't necessarily a switch... people have opted to use the term switch to be all inclusive of these various levels.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Who taught You about Bdsm? - 9/7/2006 3:49:49 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion
1) The simplest explanation is "a person who is equally prepared mentally as well as physically to both serve or be served at any given moment" (... does that work for you LA?)

Not "at any given moment" and some people switch within one relationship and other people switch depending on the particular relationship.

Otherwise, it's very nice! Thanks!
quote:


One can be a submissive who tops or a dominant that bottoms, but this isn't necessarily a switch... people have opted to use the term switch to be all inclusive of these various levels.

True, but NONE of them are made up only of people who are confused about who they really are.  It's as bad as saying all dominants are insecure. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Who taught You about Bdsm? - 9/7/2006 3:59:07 PM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		I'll expand upon this "at any given moment" & use one friend of mine as an example.

She has a Master but she is only submissive to him though she bottoms to many... including me & has been the victim of a dom-dogpile... but I digress

She has had submissives who have served her, not her Master.

One time I was watching them as a group. SHe was extremely attentive to him, seeing to his comfort & so on & at the same moment she was in complete control of her submissive who was standing right there next to her. That is when I saw what I had alsways thought a switch to be... she was completely able & capable of both serving & being served right there at that very moment as well as any other moment throughout the day.

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MstrssPassion


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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Who taught You about Bdsm? - 9/7/2006 4:46:13 PM   
DomSA


Posts: 19
Joined: 8/29/2006
Status: offline 		Well, I read the Gor books as a teenager and probably could say that is where I got the first inclination.  From there I "graduated" to Penthouse Forum letters (and still enjoy reading them sometimes...new ideas can come from anywhere). 

My sub/wife & I have always had a very experimental relationship in terms of sex.  Our philosophy is if it feels good and no one gets injured then what's wrong with it. We just never knew there was an "official" name for our kinkiness until the last year.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Who taught You about Bdsm? - 9/7/2006 6:36:15 PM   
pagansub29


Posts: 28
Joined: 5/22/2005
From: Philadelphia
Status: offline 		i've been curious about BDSM for most of my adult life. There have been several influences for me as I slowly gathered up the courage to explore BDSM.  my first experiences outside of online research were speaking to people in fetish retail stores in and around Philadelphia, and through these nice people i was introduced to clubs in Philly. 
Since that time, i learn much from the fine people at Collarme. i continue to learn about BDSM on an almost daily basis here and look forward to learning much more.


(in reply to DomSA)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Who taught You about Bdsm? - 9/7/2006 6:37:35 PM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		what i learned, i learned online from a number of people over the past 10 years...can hardly wait to try it out...LOL

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Are we having fun, yet?

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RE: Who taught You about Bdsm? - 9/7/2006 10:42:45 PM   
fromthetopdown


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/6/2006
Status: offline 		It's not so much a particular activity or date, but I can look back at (quite obvious) things in my childhood that were pointing the way.
First erotic feelings - at my grandparents' watching TV, skipping through various channels, we happened upon a movie where a woman was kidnapped and imprisoned in a dungeon.  We didn't stop long since I believe this material was deemed inappropriate for such a young girl, but it sure left an impression.
My girlfirend and I used to play a game called "witchiepoo"  (yes, I know) where one of us was the witch and the other was her servant girl who had to obey all of her bizarre and sometimes oddly sensual (for 4-8 yr olds) orders.  We took turns playing both roles, but we both had to grit our teeth through the witch role because it was SO much more fun being prone and helpless under the witch's magical spells.

(in reply to Owned1)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Who taught You about Bdsm? - 9/7/2006 11:42:13 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

Who taught You about Bdsm,
and when did You fully embrace it?


For me it was someone i met at my game site. He simply asked me if i like to be dominated, i said sure i like the guy to be in charge, not realizing what i was in for.  He became my online dom for 2 years until i took it to real life.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Who taught You about Bdsm? - 9/7/2006 11:53:39 PM   
SirMichealspeach


Posts: 73
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline 		i accidently hit on a BDSM chat room while looking for  a cyber  sex thing..was in a yahoo user room (role playing) and one conversation led to another and someone pointed me to  castle realm. after reading and understanding that all the  emotions and fantasies and desires i had had all my life actually had a  names and a whole group of people to explore and learn from , i was hooked. a year later I became Sir Micheals.  so i guess i have always been submissive but only true lifestyle  since oct 1994. it has been a glorious learning experience i must say
Sir Micheals peach

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Who taught You about Bdsm? - 9/8/2006 2:53:03 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greetings
 
as a small child we live in a house and the woman and man who rented the place were different. she was tall dark and he was mousely. now i had a memory that stood with me for years i remember seeing her in leather and him in leather chains. now this was just a memory i had thougth i dream of but i ask my tiwn and we both jump and knew it was true i do not know how i saw this and that memory is gone but we did see this now i have it and that is how as an adult i remember leather no i was not intro to this hey hell i do not know but this was a part of what i know
 
mons

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 40
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