liljoy -> RE: Your BEST "mindfuck" as a scene is ? (2/5/2005 10:49:47 PM)
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ORIGINAL: topcat Midear 'Joy- as with pain, everyone has a different 'threshold of terror'- a place where 'afraid' becomes 'terrified', and, like a pain threshold, it shifts with time and circumstance. Some are terrified easily- some are not even terrified by death and some can suspend disbelief easily enough that they can reach that edge while still knowing that, at some level, that they are safe. Well i can't argue this point but i would wonder about anyone that doesn't fear death. We are kinda wired to survive. There have been many many cases of people doing amazing things to survive. i'd be inclined to worry about someone that would willingly and without fear consent to the possability of being killed by a Dominant. i'd have to ask why? i'd worry about self esteem issues with that submissive. I once did, what was for me, a simple, off-the-cuff scene, but, without my realizing it, the woman I was working with realised that this would be, could be, a good place to get rid of a body, and that, despite having taken every precaution, it still could happen. It was, for her, a great scene- she later described it as one of the hottest she had ever done- and this was a very experianced edge player. I could tell it was working for her- but I didn't realize, even when she mentioned it, that she was really thinking that I might kill her. i think i remember You posting about this. i recall You didn't make the threat. It seemed to me that it was a mindfuck she kinda did to herself lol. This I have done- 'anything you say can be used against you' <g>. Sometimes, it is no more than the suggestion that I might, in fact, do something like that- or it might be doing fireplay with someone who is really, really scared of fire. Consider this- if he can take you to theat thing you fear most of all, and make it safe, make it OK- isn't that a wonderful thing? There is also the risk that she could become more afraid and hate You for the trauma You put her through. It's a caulculated risk like everything we do. It's bigger than most of our risks. Now this is very edgey- even by my thinking! But I have done it, and it has been good, and for the same reasons as the above. What if you can go there, and come back, and this time, make it OK? ahh the reason i'e been told that some rape surviors like rape play. Unfortunatly i am unable to wrap my mind around this nor can most other survivors that i've spoken with. Yes this is edgy. i'd put it as edgy as say breathplay. Sure the submissive could come through it in better shape but she could aslo be more damaged than before. i trust Master with everything i am. IF He were to take me to the place of fearing that i'd be raped again. i don't think i could ever trust or forgive Him. Master knows that i almost didn't survive my rape not so much physically but emotionally. i can't imagine that He would take me emotionally to that place again. If He did i can't imagine anything that He could say to make up for it. It would be so much bigger than i mislayed strike of a whip or flogger. There are some betrayals that cannot be borne, some tresspasses that will not be forgiven. But saying that a single 'mindfuck' will destroy trust either means that ones trust is a fleeting thing- or very poorly placed. Stay warm, Lawrence Hmm trying to figure out a way to help You see it as i do. Ok let's take the elecric play example that started this thread. He said the submissive He wanted to try it on was deathly afraid of electricity. Suppose she was so afraid that she had a heart attack? If she lived through it do You think she would trust Him again? You see it's not the things You can control that concern me but the things You can't. Sure before doing any kind of scene the Dominant should know the submissie ery well. A fact i think is especially imortant before doing a mindfuck scene. What IF You are wrong though? What if You do more damage than good? As much as we want to believe that a Dominant is perfect, They are human. Some mistakes can be fixed by am "I'm sorry" Some i feel cannot. In a way we are compairing apples and oranges. Your focus is on the what if everything goes right and makes things better? mine is on but what if it all goes wrong and does damage? i think both sides are of value and should be looked at. Do You go into any other kind of scene without looking at and planning for things that could go ary? Should this kind of scene be any different? i think the stakes here are higher because emotional injuries are harder to see and fix than physical ones. i hold great respect for You and am really not trying to be a pain. i just think that both sides should be looked at. Perhaps not so much for You the Experienced Dominant but for the Newbies. BTW thanks for this exchange i'm enjoying it. lil_joy
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